Hi Katrina
I am glad you found One Space. Welcome. I haven't been in your position, but I think really all I can say is it will get better. I'm sure there will be others here who have experienced similar to you, so keep posting.
How old are your children?
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hello again Katrina 123
Wow that is a busy morning you have every day! I am going to tell you something my grandad always said to me, which was "Lay forward". In other words, have everything as ready as it can be the night before. Every litle thing, however tiny, will help. Think about what you could keep in the car as emergency back up. Obviously poo bags ( :lol: ) but anything else that would help. I don't know how old your children are but I always used to carry with me a damp flannel and a dry flannel. Wonderful for wiping hands and faces.....you might find they end up having brekky in the car, for example.
Think about what the kids can do to help and set up a star chart/sticker reward system for them doing those things successfully. Get up half an hour before you think you need to and then you will have plenty of time and as you get used to the routine you can set the alarm a little later. On a practical basis this is very do-able but you have to remember the emotional stuff too. If you feel you have really been landed with all this and your children's father has swanned off scot-free, then you will feel resentful and it will make things doubly hard. It's important that you deal with these feelings, and talk them through with either a trusted friend or a counsellor.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
My mum always made our sandwiches at the weekend and put them all in the freezer, then in the morning we would have to collect them and get the rest of our packed lunch ourselves. :? I don't remember the sandwiches being soggy :?
You will cope, as single parents we become hugely adaptable. Are your children supportive of the situation? How is your son coping now?
Hello again Katrina123
I am glad that everyone's input has helped. It sounds as if your son is benefiting from the stability you are giving him. As for his father, one way you may find it easier to cope is if you can find it in your heart to feel sorry for him, that he is missing out on these beautiful children!
You say that men are weak, I know that is what you think of your children's dad and no wonder. We can see weakeness in all manner of people, both men and women but I would also like to say that there are an awful lot of good men about too and I hope that your boy will have some good role model men in his life if his dad has let him down. I have brought up two boys myself and I really think it is hard as the mother of sons, to guide a boy to know what it is to be a man in today's world, and it's brilliant if you can get a helping hand with this along the way from male teachers. scout leaders or grandads and uncles.
Good luck with the morning school runs! I expect there may be a few disasters along the way (who said anything about soggy sandwiches, Anna? :shock: ) but you will get through, betcha! ;)
Take care
Hi Abigail
I have four children - quite grown up now really!
They were 12, 10, 8 and 5 when I left in March 2004. My third child has autism/aspurgers. The two dogs and some guinea pigs came with us too!
Ex wanted the 'standard' contact - every other weekend and one evening a week. He wasn't too bad with fiance Mark I, then with fiance Mark II contact was cancelled pretty often, then with fiance Mark III - who he met in March 2007 and married last year, and who was local - contact was being cancelled with each arrangement.
It was a nightmare. The children were upset, I was angry because the children were upset, so in June-ish 2007 I changed contact so he has to let me know the day before if he wants to see them. Now he sees them a couple of hours every two or three weeks. He has not had the four stay overnight since August 2007.
So, no, I don't have a break, but the children are 100% happier, know where they stand, and know their father loves them - even though he too chose a 'new' life.
I would hate it to go back to what it was.
As for your ex, I do suggest that you approach the CSA. New life or not, he still is responsible for your children.