This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
my 12 year old son has become very cheeky,not just to me.Especially when he returns from his dads.He will call me silly names then say he was only joking even though he knows it annoys me.He constantly answers back and has become very cocky.Hes changed so much since his dad left 2 years ago.Any advice??
thankyou louise,
I have another son who is now 20.It was different with him,maybe because his dad was here at the time.I do try to spend time with my 12 yearold but it is difficult when a single parent to three and having to work etc.I have thought about the male role model but only problem is my son wont talk about stuff and i feel its coming out in different ways.I am going to speak to him about the name calling etc,and discuss the consequences.
Thanks for the advice,He use to be such a calm and pleasant lad,but not sure if il see that again!!Mind you compared to my 15 year old daughter he is a piece of cake!but thats another story.
Ah yes teen daughters, they are a law unto themselves aren't they? Contrary to boys, they want to engage you at every touch and turn, have a look at this thread about teen girls.
I do know it is hard to spend time with just one when you have to work as well, I have always worked and sometimes it is a massive juggling act. Many lads won't talk about stuff, just like your boy so don't worry about this, just try and take an interest in his hobbles (I became a dab hand at discussing the merits of having Monty Panasar back in the England cricket team!), it is quite easy to learn quickly about things like sport just by looking at the tabloid press, or even the online versions. Or if he likes a particular game on Xbox, google it and there are loads of forums around that discuss games and you can just go on and find out the general view on Call of Duty or whatever, but don't forget to call it COD so that you look extra cool 
What I saying is it is worth investing that time, even if it uses the only time you had for yourself, just for a short while to get things on an even keel again.
When they ask you to do something... say C.A.B. (see-ay-bee) it means can't be ar*ed. My nephews play COD and it's a term I hear them use a lot.
anyone else using 'fail' as part of their language these days?
My Nephews say that, they used to say gay a lot too, they seem to have stopped that though, they are 20 odd now so I think they have come to understand more it's true meaning, it's true modern meaning anyway. My nan used to say gay, it's old meaning and me and my sister used to giggle and my nan used to say, I don't care what it means to you I still like it's old meaning. She also used to say, yes I'm sure you 'can' the question is may you, when we would say 'can I...' that's something I say to my own kids.
Noob! my oldest nephew has taught my daughter to say noob, and now quite often when I pass her in the house she goes "daddy noob" and runs off giggling... or she will randomly message me from her bedroom in Steam chat with.. daddy, and I'll type yes?, and she'll type noob! or, noooooooooooooooooooooooob!
Yes but no but... is another one I get from them, and 'does this look like a face that cares?' or they will hold their thumb and index finger up to me almost touching and say this is how much I care daddy... And, whats this? as they rub index finger and thumb togeather... and say 'the sound of the smallest violin in the world playing just for you'... that's from Reservoir Dogs... these are things they have gotten from me that I teas them with, amongst other things.
Oh they are so funny! My son says "failed in Israel" for a mega-fail or if someone is thwarted in their intentions he says "owned", or a word I don't know how to spell, it sounds like "tre".
Owned and pwned : )
I don't know if you have ever been to Urban Dictionary? but it's rather good : ) some of the explinations, descriptions are hilarious.
Hi shell144
Welcome to the lovely world of the teenage boy
I have had two of them so can sympathise greatly. Have you been through the teen thing before with other children yourself?
I am sure you're right and it is made worse by the fact that his dad left, it is just the age when a boy needs a good male role model in his life. Does he have any other blokes to relate to? uncle/grandad/teacher/youth leader? If so, it is worth having a word with them and asking them to have a man to man chat with him, not telling off but more bluff than that, a sort of "hey it's tough being a young man today" sort of thing. If he hasn't got anyone like this in his life, have a look around for someone! It could be a neighbour or a friend's partner.
However you absolutely do not have to tolerate a disrespectful attitude from him and it's a good idea to nip it in the bud straight away. There are two things to think about here. The first is to make an honest assessment of how you speak to him. The reason I say this is we often spend our whole time saying to teens "Stop that!" "What ARE you doing now?" "Tidy up that mess" etc, ie no real conversation. I know I did, and it was only when I recorded myself on my mobile phone that I realised how I spoke to son number 2. Think about building your relationship with him, do you ever do things just the two of you? might be things you don't really like (one of our members on here had to go fishing the other week) but hopefully he might want to go to the cinema, or play cards or you could even agree to play the X box with him, just anything to get things going between the two of you.
At the same time, and this is the second thing, you can think about reasserting your role as parent. Read this articleabout teens, it is quite illuminating! Also you can sit down with him, and chat it through and make a family rule about this. Tell him that you expect him to be respectful and that name-calling is out, say that even if he intends things as a joke, they are hurtful and you will not allow that behaviour in your house. Say that there will be consequences if it continues. Spell these out: grounding, no Xbox, no pocket money, whatever. If possible write this down so that it is in black and white.
Finally the biggest tip I can give anyone with teens, which is very very helpful, but very hard to do is STAY CALM NO MATTER WHAT