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Hi all,
The ex is restricting me to only 4 nights month contact even during holidays. I have no indirect contact with my son also and she says i am only to contact her if absolutely necessary. I have attempted to get her to reason via solicitor letters etc but she wont budge. Reckons it is in my sons best interest to stick to 4 nights a month (which funnily enough = 48 nights a year and therefore no reduction in maintenace). I instructed my solicitor to refer us to mediation and her solicitor said she would be willing to go. So i went to the initial assessment meeting yday and was told by the mediatior that she rang up on 12th saying she was not willing to go! So now i have instructed my solicitor to issue one final letter to her to get her to reason then i have no choice but to apply to court.
Any advice will be possible? From length of time from application to get to court and roughly how much costs you went through with regards to solicitors, etc. Any other info would be great!
It's sad when you come across a dad who genuinely cares for his child but has a mother who won't cooperate :( . Do u think she is using your child as a weapon? Maybe because of your broken down relationship? I was told that parents don't have to agree to parent/child phone calls unless instructed by court, don't give up, I understand the costs of solicitors & courts but you can't put a price on love & it will all be worth it in the end, good luck
Hi Tinkerbell2
One of the (many) fantastic things about this board is we get to see things from different points of view. Over my 11 years of working with separated parents I have seen so many permutations but it still surprises me that parents can sometimes use their child to hurt the other parent, with little regard for how the child might feel, whereas most of us bend over backwards and put up with all sorts to try and make things better for our children (as you have done) 
Wow!! Do women really do this?? In my situation I can't help but find sceptasism in fathers comments regarding access.
I struggle to see how a relationship breakdown between to adults should cause an innocent child to become subjected to an emotional tug of war. Unfortunately in my circumstances it was absolutely necessary, but even then..it wasn't easy!
I agree with Tinkerbel stick at it, and if she is just being devious.. Prove to her that she will not come between you and your child. I would also advise stressing this to the courts.
I hope both parents and your child a happy amicable ending.
I know its amazing how even men can go throught such heartache.
Its eye opening reading these kind of things.
My bf has not seen his boys since April 2012 - one will be 18 next month and the other one 17 in August. He has tryed everything but she has put the knife in and turned them against him. We now have a baby girl who the boys know nothing about.
It depends how cooperative both parties are, how the children react to wanting to visit and how complicated the background of your case is. So far I have spent nearly £ 80,000 as once you are in Court there are procedures to go through and even if time schedules are not met for certain outcomes you still need to go in and discuss no progress. I suggest avoid unless you really have to. And every time it is solicitors or barrister that you have to pay for unless you represent yourself. A reasonable barrister will cost £ 1500 at a time you have to appear. a sollicitor could cost more depending how long the hearing is and how long you have to wait to be called into chambers, as a sollicitor usually goes by the hour and easily asks £ 200 an hour. Many times I was listed for 10.00 and actually entered 3.30 or 4 pm. It's nearly 3 years for us now
It has been a long and expensive journey hasn't it Skyflower, really draining on emotions and finances.
debsdelight, did the courts not give your ex contact?
Anna, today was the last time apparently. because of section 37 report it is all finished for me. I have full custody. Still can't believe it. Still can't believe that it is all over and we can live in peace.
Thank you Anna 
I am sorry to hear that all this has happened, scousecraig30, especially as you have tried your best to be reasonable and go to mediation.
No-one can tell you definitively about costs or timescales as there are so many variables. Your solicitor will have an hourly rate, which they should have advised you about.The number of hours they work will depend on how co=operative or otherwise your boy's mum is!
We also have our own Legal Expert on the boards and you can email them if you feel this would be helpful.