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i miss my ex sometimes , i miss what we had when it was good, but he would neva of stopped i kno i done the right thing, i do feel lonely sometimes, but atleast im not wondring when the next time will be the next time he kicks off what will he do will i lose my kids etc, he had chances to change and proved that he cant,( ie probation and domestic violence course) i thougth having a baby with him would make him so happy and it made him worse, when he knew i was carrying his unborn child, ( apparetly this is because he wsnt in controll because i was carrying the baby) i broke down in work one day and the police got called he was arrested and tht was the day our relationship eneded as ss asked me to sign a aggremnet stating , i wouldnt tkae him back or i could go to child protection confernce, this was the 4th time ss had been called out through our relationship as i had been in hospital a couple of times and ploice gettin calllled things like that, and after all he done to me i still have feelings , but he, s the father of my baby and its normal to feel like that , time is a healer and i am slowly healing and so will you x
God it's too familiar. He made me think ss were to blame in our separation. 12 dv call outs they had from neighbours. Eventually CPS prosecuted and put a restraining order in place xx
yea its neva there fault always someone elses, the cps even turned round to me and called my ex an attention seeker, i dread court should be the first hearing in a few weeks but its over contact so family courts, but they will ask for police, ss and hospital records he has laso denied the dv when i was pergnnat but i have hospital recorsd but have been told will prob go to cross examining and go to high court , but i wont give up x
im off to bed now, enjoy rhyme time tommorow hun and dont give up stay strong if you need to talk , come on here there is always someone to talk to , im here to if you need to talk, p,s sorry for the spelling mistakes lol x
Lol damn predictive text!!;-) night hun xxx
hiy aim ere as well to talk to, if id of stayed with ex i wud of lost my kids eventually,which aint appenein,so bin totally non contact,and i loved him i ad baby with him, but it wa sall based on lies, and im lonely but rather b lonely than livin how i was with ex, a wreck, nytx
It's so good that you can all support each other through this and you are in different places on the journey but know so well the feelings you are all experiencing.
Blaze you are a strong and capable woman, you might not feel like that right now but look at yourself! you have had a career and kids and you are DOING IT. It is never too late to meet someone else but now is the time for some singledom to heal from what you have been though. Imagine you have a daughter who tells you she has met a new chap and how wonderful he is......and then you hear that he has tried to choke her, that he tries to make her feel worthless, but "It's ok mum cos I love him and on his good days he is wonderful" What would you tell your daughter?
hi taking a ex to court over violence is never nice or easy but when i went i found the courts to be very kind and supporting towards me and my children as my son saw what his dad did to me and he had to go and stand but they will guide you and yes our exs wil and do say its our fault as they see nothing wrong in what they did to us . to stand up to any sort of violence takes awhole lot of strength and it makes us stronger too . yes at first its hard but you will get there . do they change no they believe in what they want too and see what they want too . yes i agree when things with my ex was running nice he was fab but they have the fault , they choose to hit and not walk away to calm down or even sit and talk .
remember you are doing this for a better life for yourselves and for the kids , alife of being scared , wondering how they are is everythong ok are we having to tread on eggshells is no life for you or kids . im over mine and yes i still have down days and find it hard at times but i see a brighter life and a happier one .
in court ask for all the protection you can and state how scared you are and for the kids they will help its easy to say but try not to be scared of courts think of it as a start of your new life
Hi blaze87,
Do not belittle yourself - you are only 25 and that young attractive person that you talked about, is still you and is still there, but with more experience! Once you are free to make your own choices and once you decide that you want more for yourself and your girls, then that is what you will make happen.
I was 17/18 when my relationship started with my ex, I was around your age when it was all over, I felt the same as you, I was angry with myself for losing my youth, losing my confidence and angry at him for making it this way.
Once I realised that I was the one that had made the decisions to stay (I had to work on that - it was much easier to blame him!), I realised that I was the only one who could make the decisions for the rest of my life.
I am 40 now and WOW! Life is great! Hurdles are so much easier to overcome and no-one can tell me anything - because I AM MY OWN BOSS. (and I still feel 25!)
You can spend years repeating to yourself the negatives that 'he' said to you -'stupid, unloveable, pointless, ugly etc etc, but that is a waste, fill your thoughts with positive things about yourself.
Have you had a look at our online Freedom Programme (click)? You will learn that your partner is behaving exactly as many other abusive men ie name calling, blaming social services, using persuading tactics etc etc and at the end you get a free book!! It will really help you see the wood for the trees 
God that sounds so similar! It's their presence that knocks you off kilter isn't it? I was tough too 18 months ago n told the police he was breaking his bail conditions. He was remanded and I changed my number etc whilst he was in jail then he tracked me down and turned up at my cousins and has slowly wormed his way back in. I was strong, thinking straight and happy.... Now I'm back to square one. I need to tell my 'voice of reason' what's hsppened but I'm scared of hurting him. He's been so understanding. He told me 'first you're a mum, then you're a daughter, then you're a friend and THEN you're a wife'. I really miss him.