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Dear dear sparklinglime, i am glad that the wait is over and he is now at peace. I hope that your MiL is feeling peaceful too.
It sounds like your children are coping well, you have probably prepared them well, knowing you 
What a lovely image to have your parents 'together' and your FiL, all catching up, I like it
I hope you will take the next few days gently.
My love to each and every one of you Sparkling. Such a sad time, but also knowing your FIL is now at peace, can now breathe easier, I hope can bring some comfort to you all. I'm glad your MIL will have her daughter with her too, and I'm sure she'll be delighted to see you, when you feel ready to go there. You were a lovely daughter in law to him Sparkling, and you and the children will have lots of memories too. My thoughts are with you all. As well as making sure everyone around you is okay, please look after yourself too. Lots and lots of hugs from C and I. xxxxxxx
thank you.
xxxxxxx
Take care of yourself, sparkling
The funeral is on Thursday. At the Chapel in their village and then at the crem.
In the paper its "the affectionate and caring FiL of me"
Eldest broke down in work today and went to see his Nana.
Bless, sparkling. Great that J went to see MiL. Glad you were mentioned in the notice, quite right too. So are you sticking with your original thoughts of J and your daughter going to represent you all? I expect you will be glad when it is over...the time waiting for a funeral can be very hard.
You are all in my thoughts
Oh flambards.
We'll be walking from the house to the Chapel. I don't think I can walk that far anymore! No choice though.
The grandchildren are all going to sit in a pew at the front of the Chapel (my MiL has three grandchildren). I think this is so lovely.
I'll be sitting on my own... I know its only for a while, but there are times that it's not nice being on your own 
Oh Sparkling, is there no one that you could ask to go with you? I'm sure though that you'll know some of the people that will be attending. The walk from the house to the Chapel, could you not just take the car? It wouldn't be disrespectful, and your FIL and MIL would completely understand that it would be hard for you to walk there. Will be thinking of you all. xxx
MiL has said she wants me to walk...
I can walk down with the younger two and hopefully sit with one of MiL's daughters.
We've had a lovely chat this morning, she's not being stroppy or anything. I'll just take four paracetamol and hope for the best!
Heck, that sounds difficult. Lots of hugs
DO NOT TAKE FOUR PARACETAMOL IN ONE GO!!!!!! Please, promise! There's a reason why they put 1 - 2 in 4 - 6 hours on the pack. I've seen horrible things because of paracetamol overdose. If you have a headache and paracetamol is not enough, take Iboprufen with it or codeine.
What a scary thought! (See, I am studying nursing for a reason!)
Anyway, I am thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs! x
Sparkling hope you got Hopeful's post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think Sparkling was joking, but you're right of course Nurse Hopeful.
Ultra daft question - do I give MiL a sympathy card?? I have got a lovely one.
Hi Sparkling, I would say yes to that one. xx
Thank you xxx
I would say yes to that, too. x
Bought tops for the younger three yesterday (eldest has some nice shirts). I've tried to get things they might wear again. I think only the youngest will grow out of it, but his is only a t-shirt.
Hopefully it will be warmer by then as I'm not going to get them jackets. Will have to go through what's here.
Eldest now sulking and HE wants a new shirt for Thursday too.
**sigh**
I can't find my money tree though. Anyone seen it?
Nope, not in my garden
Hopeful thanks for the medical heads-up, you were joking weren't you, sparkling?
I think a sympathy card would be nice and you could write in it what you will miss about him.
We've started on what eldest is going to read out...
Gosh it is going to be a difficult day isn't it sparkling, but glad that you are all going. I bet your eldest is feeling the nerves alongside all the other emotions he is facing.
Is J going to read something from the bible, or will it be something you have written as a family, with thoughts and memories?
Eldest declares himself atheist, so it won't be from the Bible.
We're writing something as a family. I think he's avoiding it though.
Daughter and I started on it yesterday.
My friend who I work for will come with me on Thursday if I want company. Seeing MiL tonight, so it will depend on whether I will be sitting with one of her daughter's or not.
Will be interesting if friend does come as he has not very nice thoughts towards The Git 
Went with three of the children to see MiL yesterday.
We walked down to the Chapel - I made it! Children shown where they're going to sit. She isn't bothered where I sit - so long as I sit with the family. I do feel like an outsider though. Her friend, who's going to play the organ was there too, so she had a practice (a modern organ), while we sat and at times joined in with the hymns.
Sixteen year old has decided he's not coming. He has a lot of work to do with school still, and this week is his final week and then its study leave. MiL was disappointed, but to be honest I am relieved. I have noticed that his hands are shaking, so he is feeling the stress. I can understand why he feels that the Art course is something he can do, and perhaps the other options will 'just' stress him out.
When we left yesterday, I drove round the corner and parked the car. The four of us wept buckets. Going there without FiL was so very strange. The oxygen machine and the cylinder still there... And that empty space on the settee.
MiL has given the children a metal cash box with photos, certificates and memorabilia in. Clearly The Git has taken his things out and nothing else - which is why it has been given to this lot. We loved going through it. Seeing Grandad and Grandma (I never met The Git's mother, she died before we started to go out together) together was lovely. While it still shocks me how unsentimental The Git is (he used to be in the days before transforming into The Git...), and seems to have shocked my older too, it is to their benefit.
Youngest is sad today.
I have emailed the school to update them. I've asked them to keep an eye on C, and to phone if he would like to come to the afternoon service. I have said he's to take a key, but have also said I an pick him up. I just don't want to overwhelm him. He's even coming for hugs... Unheard of really (other than the perfunctionary ones I ask for at times). Friday he has his end of school Ball. A lunch time do. He says he's finding it all hard and he'll be thinking of Grandad. I've told him that Grandad is free and will be far happier knowing that he will be joining his friends and enjoying the Ball than missing it and being sad.
Me... I'm just sad, feel so alone as there's no one to hug me. Yesterday it was five years since Jill died. I always miss her, as you know, but somehow I'm missing her and my parents a bit more.
Very selfish, I know.
Sparkling, I am sending you the biggest virtual hug ever!!!
There is nothing selfish about you that I have noticed so far! Not the tiniest bit. You are doing so well keeping everything together!
I wish I could do something significant or give some proper advice. Children will be up and down a bit, that's normal, and everyone has to work things out in their own little way. It seems your 16 year old is throwing himself into his work, that's also a coping mechanism, I think. Not a bad one, although he needs to make sure he has a break every now and then.
Thinking of you lots! xxx
Thank you Hopeful.
Sixteen year old has autism/aspurgers, and I think the routine is the thing he's clinging too. It's very rarely he cries.
Hi sparkling, there really isn't anything more to suggest that you have not thought of already. But we are all with you (well I said I could come along in your handbag but to be honest you might need a bag on wheels to accommodate me AND my refreshments 
)
You are NOT AT ALL SELFISH and it is extra gard that the loss of FiL has come around the same time that Jill died. How wonderful to have been given that memory box though.
What time is the service, so I can send you some extra positive thoughts?
The service in the Chapel is at 11.30am, and the Cremotorium in the afternoon at 1.30pm
You are far from selfish sparklinglime - thinking of you and your family - we are here for you and in our thoughts
No way are you selfish Sparkling. You are forever thinking of others before yourself. I'm so glad you made the walk to the Chapel from the house. Am also delighted that if you need someone, you have a friend on standby so to speak. Lots of emotions flying around this week, and of course for Jill too. I know you miss her very much. Big hugs for you.
Hope you're all okay. xxxx
Right 11.30. the One Spacers are right behind you 
Thinking of you and the children, Sparkling. From all of us here.
Well, the five of us have sat in the kitchen. We've struggled with the keyboard (which is pink, but even that isn't redeeming it) and have come up with this. It is a bit longer, as identifiable bits removed... I'm crying buckets, but then have been since I've come home from work really. I'm not too good at goodbyes.
We really had the most wonderful Grandad. We loved him so much. Going to see Nana and Grandad for tea was something we all looked forward too. Nana is a brilliant cook!
He took an interest in all we did and was always supportive to us. He probably didn’t realise how much this meant to us.
Grandad had a brilliant, dry sense humour. He never failed to make us smile. We could see he was tired last time we were with him, but we watched one of his favourite movies - Tom and Jerry – and laughed together to it.
When S and I stayed with them when we had to leave R********, they were so kind and caring. It was a difficult time, but they made us feel at home. Making sure that homework was done, that we were neat and tidy – and that we learnt the meaning of a quick shower! And, of course, we were never late for school.
With C, he nurtured his love of aircraft and trains. He still loves the books that were chosen for him when he was little. He will miss chatting about aeroplanes with Grandad. It was a treasured topic they shared together.
The amazing times we had with them on special occasions. New Year’s Day dinner and Easter dinner. They were always happy times, being together around the table. And playing the horse betting game after! Nana, those dinners are lovely.
A very important role that Grandad had was referee of Boggle for Nana and Mum. His knowledge of words was mind boggling
His face when we bought the digital photo frame was a picture. That was a success, and one that couldn’t be beaten – although we did try and come up with other ideas.
Mum always says that one of the best things that Grandad did was meet and marry Nana. Their wedding day was such a happy day, and they had the happiest of marriages.
We have been so lucky.
We will miss him so very much, but we know we will talk about him a lot and always with a smile and with pride. His love will stay with us, always.
Thank you Grandad – you have been the best Grandad in the world.
It's lovely, Sparkling, so positive and full of lovely memories!
Sending you a great big hug and will think of you on Thursday xxx
lovely memories that will stay with you all
Sparkling, I have tears running down my cheeks, that is such a lovely tribute, and such a wonderful last gift to this special man
Thank you all so much.
It took a while to get eldest to come home to carry on with it. He's understandably, maybe, been avoiding it.
The five of us were in the kitchen, me typing. All remembering. Laughter and a lot of tears. Eldest was so chuffed as he was coming up with the bits to hopefully make people smile.
Sixteen year old really is so affected by this. I'm relieved, really that he'll be at school.
The supportive bit - which I know will not be noticed though - is meant to be having a go at The Git.
I've just got off the phone with MiL (have emailed work to say I'll be late!). She is so mad as The Git is NOT putting a wreath on the coffin. This is something that mattered to FiL and of course MiL.
Her daughter's want her to ring him back and ask why, but she won't. She knew I'd understand her shock.
She is now seriously wondering if he'll be in contact again after the funeral. And shared this with eldest on Saturday (who said he wasn't bothered!). I know he will as he'll want to make sure he gets his inheritance of the bungalow (MiL's for her lifetime).
She is furious!
She read me the reading that her oldest daughter is going to read, and I asked if she wanted me to read out what J will be reading. She did, and she's very happy with it...
Better go to work. After all, it is my Friday...
That is a truely wonderful tribute Sparkling. Well written, and sums it all up really, what a wonderful Grandad he was, and a support for you all. Really touching too.
I cannot believe that the Git isn't sending a wreath for his own Dad. That has made me really angry, and he's not even related to me!! That sums him up really (sorry). Please don't let this upset you, though of course it probably will, as well as your MIL.
I shall be thinking of you all tomorrow. Take care, stay strong. xxxxxxxxx
sparklinglime, thinking of you this evening and you and your family will be in my thoughts all day tomorrow.
It is lovely to hear that your MiL wants you to sit with the family, you are so very dear to her and obviously made her feel very welcome into your family too.
I wish your eldest the best of luck. Is he aware that he might break down whilst reading it and if so, whether you will step in, or a sibling, or that he just stops, takes a breather and then continues.
Wishing you all the very best tomorrow, I hope the sun shines brightly to celebrate the joy that your FiL brang to you all and if it rains, it can only mean that the universe cries with you.
Big hugs to you all, you are doing a grand job.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
nothing else I can say.
Thinking of you xxxx
Thinking of you all - sending a hug and a smile to know you are in my thoughts
Thank you all so much. It means so much.
Handbag has the reading in, donation and my purse in. And tissues. Lots of tissues.
My heart really is going out to you here Sparkling. Celebrate your FIL's life, he had downs, but he had a tremendous lot of ups in his life too. I'm sure the service will be lovely, J will do you all proud when he stands and reads. Really hope you're going to be okay throughout it all too. xxxxx
C's gone off to school. He must be feeling so confused! I could see it in his face, as I can read is face like a book! He looked very clean though. Got him to shave properly yesterday 
I even kicked the eldest into the bathroom to help him. Wait untill you have to teach C to shave - wierd as its something we don't do (well, actually, maybe I should start...)
They're all signing each others shirts. It is his last 'proper' day at school! The Ball tomorrow. Eldest is trying to persuade him to wear the tuxedo.
Reminding myself that FiL was 82 and this is a release. Can't help but think how much fun my lot would have had if one of my parents had lived as long (love in-laws to bits, but they've never come to the beach or on a picnic....)
Yes I have done the shaving lesson, sparkling
Today is a day you are bound to think not only of FiL but of others you miss. We are all part of a big "Circle of Life" and at these times we feel it more. One of the reasons you have been so close to the inlaws is losing your own mum and dad.
I hope it will help to know that your friends at One Space are with you in spirit and sending you lots of positive and loving thoughts. I am very proud of the way you have been during this time.
Thinking of you today, Sparkling, and the children. Sending you strength by the barrels
xxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you
and how are you doing?