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Is it true that the SS can put my children up for apdotion with out our permission if they are with foster parents and the EX signed them over to the SS instead of going to court?
Thanks
Pash, If you have PR then SS would have to take you to court and give some pretty good reasons why adoption is the only option.
Hi Pash,
I think it will depend what order was issued when the child is placed in Foster Care, if the Judge issued a Care Order in favour of Local Authority then you should still have Parental Responsibility, so you have to be included in any decision making for the Child's future. If you were party to the care proceedings this also applies. If your Child was removed on a section 20 then I would suggest contacting an advisor from the Family Rights Group they have trained advisor's and the forums are full of helpful advice.
Thanks, what is a section 20?
The children where removed from the ex and no one tells me anything because i will not cooperate with the police and she has told that many lies about me i may as well not exsit, i will tell the SW something and she gets told off and a few days later i get arrested for harrassment this has happened twice now
Since she has been involed with the WAG and the freedom course things have gone from bad to worst even the police called her an evil person when she tried to start a fight on the phone and the police were listening.
She is supposed to be stopping drinking yet no one seems to under stand you CAN NOT make an alcoholic stop they have to want to stop and all i get off the SW when i report her for being intoxicated is "she seems coherant to me or phone the police".
She can drink 10 cans of larger and a bottle of whiskey and still be normal to someone who doesnt know her yet i have "angry man symdome" this is what i am told by the SW and now all the e mails i sent to them to warn them of her have come true and now the SW wants to talk to me. but i cant stand her and wont talk to her.
Do i have PR?
We lived together for 25 years all the children bar one are MINE but ALL have my name on the birth ceritficate as farther
DOB's are 1995, 1996, 1998 and My darling little girl who every one now remines me i am not the bolical farther was born in NOV 2006 but i have always brought her up as mine it is my name on the BC and she is my little girl and no one will take that from ME!!!!
sorry it has just got me upset as it was her who got me through a very tough year a few years ago and we were in seperatable (without her i would not be here today Iw as off work for a year)
untill the ex spun her lies and moved out
Hi Pash, so sorry about your current situation.
A section 20 is like placing a child "voluntarily" in to care (i.e. a parent(s) gave consent for children to go in to care) The parent(s) can remove consent at any time but depending on the situation if consent is removed the SW will go straight to court and apply for a Care Order (hence why I put voluntarily in " marks)
Children under a Care Order (section 37 I think) have been placed in to care under the order of the court if their are concerns about the childs safety/wellbeing.If children are on a court order than the Local Authority will also gain PR of the children alongside the parent(s). So if you do have PR (sounds like you do for your daughter born in 2006 as you are on birth certificate - even if she not biologically yours, the other children Im not so sure) the LA has to include you in all decisions.
My best advice to you would be to sit down and have a long chat with your solicitor as they will be able to give you all the information you need and explain exactly where you stand legally.
Thanks for that
Thanks for that
I would recommend speaking to Children's Services and attempting to cooperate with them, I know how difficult things are when a Child is in Foster Care and you relationship with CS is strained. But you have to put your own feelings aside and focus on that little girl.
If you won't speak to CS and the Mother is giving them false information then you are not using your only opportunity to put your side across to them. You can turn things around and it won't be easy but hopefully you can move forward.
Thanks Murry your the second person to tell me that in 24 hours and that was a stanger who i got talking to whilst out with my dog and she had two dogs with her and i felt completely at ease with her and talking to her she has gave me some advice and told me about the SS trying for adoption.
Thanks Again
Pash I second Murray on that one. No matter how justified you feel it really isnt going to help if you are at logger heads with your SW, because the SW needs to do an assessment of you. I know SW can be difficult too but just stay focused on the end goal and try to co-operate as best you can, no matter what the SW thinks it is ultimately I judge who will make decisions and a judge can only go by the information provided to them by the SW and if you arent speaking with them it will be hard for the judge to see your side.
Good luck
What do i do about my EX she wont talk to me and tell me what is going on and wont listen to my advice and help and i dont want to go against her i have always looked out for her but she seems hell bent on not helping me she has even turned the eldest against me, he now tells me to F off if i try to speak to him on the phone and she will not do anything about it.
It seems she is forcing me to turn against her but i cant do that it is not in my nature to be nasty, it is just her who has realy turn into an evil nasty person
Pash, you can only help people who want to be helped. You dont need to do anything nasty but you do need to do what is best for your children and if that means going against your ex then that is what you have to do but only in the interests of your children.
We can only be responsible for our own behaviour and we can't control anyone else's so I would say that as long as you can account for your own actions then that will go a long way. I have had a long road looking at my ex's behaviour and attitude and it has taken me 8 months to learn that I have to look to myself and be answerable to myself and stop trying to make him do the things I want him to do. I hope you can manage to rebuild your relationship with your sw and in turn with your kids. I am not judging you by the way - just telling you of my own experience
Right things to do; why do i feel so guilty that i am going against my EX yes she has realy hurt me but i do NOT want to hurt her.
E mail the police and tell the child protection to phone me and be nice to them
Tell the SW i am a new person and been under a lot of presure and didnt mean to call her all those nasty names :( and how much i adore her for taking my children away (joking)
Tell my brief to sit down before i tell him i am going to be a good little boy and nice to the SW
What do i tell the SW?
apart from ranting at her her voice drives me up the wall.. ugg!
You just need to tell them whatever it is they need to know.
I know it is hard to be nice to a SW when you feel they took your children away but they only doing a job and there must be reasons why they became involved in the first place.
Guilt is normal but dont let it get in the way of what you need to do for your children. good luck hun x
Thanks
Bed time for me now
How's this for a e mail to send them Nice enough? please edit if you wish
Thanks
Good afternoon J
How are s &5?
Hope you had a nice break?
Please could you tell me if z has signed a section 20 form and how I would go about getting that revoked as I am also a parent and should of been consulted on this matter and the children placed with me.
Also when would I be able to see my children as I am free to do as I wish as I have no police restrictions also I have contacted the child protection unit to see if they still wish to talk to me.
That seems pretty spot on to me, Pash02 
Time to send it to the ***** sorry nice kind sweet loverly Sw
MODERATOR: We ask that language used on the boards is suitable for children to see, sort of like a PG certificate on a film Good luck with the email
Sorry
here is the one i sent at 1502 and they havent bothered to reply to yet!
Good afternoon J
How are My children a and t?
Hope you had a nice break?
Please could you tell me if z has signed a section 20 form and how I would go about getting that revoked as I am also a parent and should of been consulted on this matter and the children placed with me.
Also when would I be able to see my children as I am free to do as I wish as I have no police restrictions also I have contacted the child protection unit to see if they still wish to talk to me
Is there anything I can do to move things along &resolve this situation, what can I do personally do to help?
Thank you
Well you will just have to wait for the reply now, Pash...sometimes the SW will be out of the office and is not able to reply to email until the next morning.
This is the reply from the SS
""Hi
R has signed sec 20. I would advise that if you oppose this that you see a solicitor and seek advice in relation to this. Similarly if you want the children to reside with you then I would recommend a Residence Order application is made I would also recommend that you discuss the matter of contact with a solicitor. We will speak to R and the chhildren about contact. We have already contacted the police in relation to any police restrictions. Our understanding is that there have been restrictions in place as part of your bail conditions and we have contacted the police for them to confirm whether this is still the case and if there are what these are. Once we have clarified that there are no police restrictions on contact and have identified the children's and R views about contact then this can be arranged at a family centre. Presently R is the only person who has PR for the children, as you where not married at the time of the birth of the children and at the time of the birth the law states that being the putative father and or being named on the birth certificate woud not grant PR. Therefore we are reliant on her agreeing contact. We are liasing with you due to your involvement in the children's life and being the father of the boys. Should R and the children agree to contact we will arrange this at a local family centre, as soon as possible. I hope this answers your questions and if you have anymore please contact me on 0161 """
My little girl was born in NOV 2006 which part of the law does she not B!88d* know.
Oh and this is a Manager that cant spell too
God i am fuming and dont know what to do!
Hi Pash02, I think you need to contact Family Rights Group as they have a lot of expertise in these areas that you have concerns about.
Pash02,
I have read your dilema with the same feelings as you. Social Workers have far far too much clout and there are those who abuse their authority. The region where I live there have been many many complaints regarding same and the courts are now beginning to appreciate what the public go through at the hands of these people. You have every right to fight for your children but better to do same in a dignified manner and do not let these people see your frustration as they will turn it against you. As in - un-cooperative, abusive etc etc. Because I broke my heart over my grandson they brought into question my emotional state and wether I was capable of caring for his siblings!!!! It beggars belief. Jot everything down. Phonecalls, times, dates, conversations as when it comes to it you have all documented as these people twist things to justify their actions. Do not let them. I have tripped them up on many many occassions by having documented everything. I am at the moment going through the complaints precedure and have escalated mine to the top level.
Take Care
Hi Pash
Getting this thread on the go again, if you don't mind.
I didn't suffer DV but emotional abuse - It was two years after leaving him that I realised this.
It sounds as if you're going through emotional abuse with her.
You really do have to be strong. You're doing well with no contact for 6 days. Really, with the situation as it is, you need to be avoiding contact - well, from what I understand is going on. As the children are not with her, then there's no reason for contact?
Wise words from Sparkling.
I am the one being acussed of DA by her.
THe SS are trying to get the middle one who has a disability and i believe we have to work together on this.
all because of her lies and stories the children are not with me.
No i am not perfect and looking at the dominator chart there is trates on there that apply to her and to me and i accept that but she makes me out to be some evil monster when it suits her and it is this that has caused all this nightmare for the children.
Time i started to listen to other people instead of going off one all the time
Thanks everyone
I volunteered with the housing group that helped me when I was homeless. I was asked to attend a child protection course that was run by social services, and it was quite shocking.
I spoke to the sw who ran the course after, as the issues that the children were having to deal with at the time were quite different, shall we say. He listened and then told me how to answer the children. In saying well no, Dad's wrong, blah de blah is right, I was actually causing further emotional abuse to the children. Being in conflict didn't do them any good at all. This chap was so helpful, and after that I like to think I did change how I dealt with things.
Major issues I'd get the headmaster to deal with (comple lesson plans were changed to cope with what was going on).
I'm a submissive character. I grew up with DV, and had stopped my Dad hitting my Mum. I can't stand conflict of any type. Not always suitable parenting material I don't think 
A small problem
I have just had the SW on the phone and i was nice to her 
they want my little girls Birth certificate and EX's and mine so LG can get a passport to go on holiday and I have said she is not leaving the country
What can I do?
I also complained about the foster persons dangerous drivng with my little girl in the car too.
Right before you all start shouting at me
she can go on holiday because if not she will be dumped on some one else and i am not having that
Pash, I think that is the best move to make. Your daughter will have a wonderful time too. Going to say here, that she isn't being 'dumped' on foster carers, they are taking her in.
welcome to my way of taking
I have been NICE to the SW today i must deserve a medal for that i didnt even call her a name (fed up of being told of by every one)
You would not beleive i was in my 40's i act more like a teen
Pash, I know its hard but you have to try and have some positivity about about things. It is great your daughter is having a holiday, she will have lots of exciting stories to tell you when she gets back. She has been through all this too and a little holiday will do her the world of good.
Also if you can try not to look for faults with SW and foster carers at the end of the day they are trying to do whats best for your daughter. If you keep complaining you are going to be seen as being deliberately difficult in an already difficult situation. I cant imagine the pain you are going through but the best way to get all this resolved is to try and work WITH those that are taking care of your children.
Littleangel i think i am learning that now.
I should write a book on how to good and kind to the SS it will only have one page though
anyway can my little girl go away if one parent does not agree?
Was your daughter taken by Social Services, or did your ex give her up voluntarily Pash? Sorry I've also forgotten if you have PR? Am I right in thinking that she isn't biologically yours, or is that one of the boys? Am getting slightly confused I think hehe.
Ex give her away Section 20 the boys are mine and my baby is not mine but my name is on the BC and she was born after the law change in 2003 so i think i have PR.
Have you sought legal advice regarding this Pash? I'm sure I've read somewhere that the woman can have name taken off birth certificate, if like in your case, you are not the biological father. You need to seek advice.
On the other thread you said about contact tomorrow with your daughter, and whether or not you should go, for fear of upsetting or confusing her. I know of children that meet their parent in a contact centre, and emotionally they are fine, as they are living with foster parents, and they are settled in etc. Not sure if this helps you much, but I'm sure she will be fine after your visit. Of course it'll be upsetting for you and her, but if you do go, you have to let her know that everything is okay, and so not get upset in front of her. Good luck with what you decide to do. When did her Mum see her last? Do you know?
The ex seen her last week or early this week not to sure i thing she see's her on a tuesday.
Just let the ex try and take my name of the BC grr
But to be honest i dont think she would be that nasty and evil but then now a days i am not to sure.
one day all the children may realise what an nasty evil person their mum has become in the last six months.
Pash02,
It is difficult to stand back and let the children realise that, and yet that is what you must do.
Your role now is to be there for your children whenever possible and to be calm and positive and encouraging. They have had lots of upheaval and if you can provide some stability for them, that will be great...so concentrate on their feelings rather than your own (very understandable!!!) frustrations, that would be my suggestion.
Thanks Louise
Went to see her last night to see what see wants us both to do over the care procedings
and as soon as a neighbour turned up she turned nasty towards me and ordered me to go and the eldest has threaten me on the phone too last night.
Her actions to me were recorded on my phone now i have got it back so happy to have my S11 back any way i went to the ploice to tell them what had happened before she claimed harrassment again.
so now i am writing everything down and i will send it to her in a letter, she is not the girl i knew 8 months ago she is now an evil nasty twisted person, is this what the freedom programe does to you or is it her?
I have tried the programe and gave up the past can stayed burried
The Freedom Programme is generally found to be excellent and I don't think it can be "blamed" for your children's mum's attitude. You have seen this before, where she is civil to you when you are on your own, and things change when someone else is present.
"You have seen this before, where she is civil to you when you are on your own, and things change when someone else is present."
This has only started after she moved out and started with the programe back in Feb.
I just dont understand why she has turned so evil and nasty when i am only trying to help her it just hurts and upsets when she does this to me and turning all the boys against me too according to her and everyone she speaks to i am the biggest badest man on earth and she acts so cocky too.
I just remember you noticing it, Pash, that's why I mentioned it, don't dispute the timings.
Have you had any support from Mankind ? (click to see their website)
It is like the eldest wants his bike so i have said to come and get it but i got this in reply from the both of them "" what so you can turn round and say it is stolen" i ask why would i say that and she just said thats what you do!
she has punched and abused me smashed my phone up and reported me to the police for harrassment such as phoning her and texting her with "the worming tablets are here" and other general every day things NOTHING abusive or violent.
also the eldest swearing at me on the phone and threatening to knock me out but with some more choice words.
and i have not told the police over any of this.
Yet how after 25 years my eldest and her can make a statment like that i do not know or understand
Dont need the support over it now just fed up of her making me out to be some baddy when i am not.
she has turned into some nasty person and i have just found out she is jealous of me seeing our little girl.
It's hard when you're made out to be the baddy.
Ex has done this with me, with people I was close to ignoring me.
Two tried to apologise, but I told that that I'm glad they were well, but I'd moved on with my life without them.
Others I never heard from again (I'm 8 years down the road mind).
I'll never know what he said. He even told mediators he was too scared to phone landline, but glad to say they saw through him.
Not a lot you can do to change this attitude. Or at least none I've found.
Pash02, I still think you could get some support, if only to validate what you have been through and are going through...if you are being painted as the "badddy" then it can feel like you are not being heard, that is why I mentioned it
I am sorry I do not know the answer to this question Pash02. You need to have a chat with a family solicitor; find one here