hi all,i came across this site 2day and thought would be great 2 join and talk 2 other single parents,i have a 12 year old son and i have been a single mum for 8 years.:)
hi i am fine thanx and u? hes fine hes on the park playing football with friends,im liking the weather 2day its cooled down a bit which i am glad about!lol
Hi elle81
Have to say its been a bit muggy here...
Lovely to 'see' you here.
Hello elle81. Welcome along 
You've joined a great site, friendly, supportive etc. I have a soon to be 9 year old son, and have been on my own since the pregnancy.
Certainly a change in the weather. Rain here today! Look forward to 'chatting'
Hi elle81
Welcome to One Space
Do you have many single parent friends locally? Do you have a support network? Do you enjoy single parenthood??!
Look forward to getting to know you!
thanx sparkling lime yes its muggy here 2day cant wait 4 the the autumn lol its my fave season
thanx hazel eyes i wish it was raining here 2day lol but its humid again woo hoo lol roll on autumn
hi sparkling lime i do apologise if i have sent u 2 messages or a message meant 4 someone else i am getting a bit confused lol am juust getting the hang of this,thanx 4 your message its muggy here again roll on autumn i say lol hope u are well
thanx anna.yes all of my friends are single parents one of my friends sons is twelve the same age as mine so can sympathise with the stroppy cheeky phase my son is going through lol,i have my friends 2 support me and my mum but to be honest shes not that supportive,i love single parent hood it can be a struggle but i have done it by myself and am proud of that,
Hiya, I love it when I look at my daughter and give myself a virtual clap on the back. I did this.....all on my own! I am glad that you have support around you, great to have a friend who has a son of the same age.
I love autumn too! My friend is due to visit the UK from Barcelona today, she asked me what the weather was like this morning and I said it was beautiful, t-shirt weather. She is going to get such a shock when she lands and sees grey clouds and rain - oops!! 
how old is your daughter anna? its great being a single mum but im hoping if i am lucky enough 2 have another child in the future me and the dad are together good to know i can do it alone tho if i had 2 altho it wouldnt be ideal,and i will have experienced motherhood as a younger mum and an older mum,whoops im sure your friend will have a lovely visit and fingers crossed that you do have some nice t-shirt weather lol
Hi elle81, my daughter is 16.
No chance that I would do it again! I am far too selfish, I missed out on all the fun that my friends had in their twenties, I am waiting for when I am 40, she will be 18 and then MY life BEGINS!! Woohoo! Older and wiser and with a bit of cash in my pocket hopefully - if I keep saving the pennies!!
A few of my friends are just starting families now and I really don't envy them! I used to regret having my daughter so young, but now I can look back and say it was right for me. If I was a mother again, I would do it very differently, but that time of my life is past and the future is getting so close I can almost touch it!
hi anna i can see where you are coming from its your time to do what you want! as she will be an adult then,you deserve it lol,you have done all the hard work i think its so important to me as i had cervical cancer a few years ago and i had a procedure where they took part of my womb away 2 try and keep my fertility instead of a radical hysterectomy,i have still got a 70 percent chance i think it is of getting pregnant and carrying the baby full term,so hopefully in the future i will settle down and have another baby as it does mean a lot 2 me.i feel so lucky 2 have my son but another would be the icing on the cake! lol
cant wait till i get my laptop in a few months time! yay lol wont have 2 rely on using the one at the library then.
hi hazel eyes i dont know if you got my message the other day as i was just getting the hang of it on here and got a bit confused lol,humid again here 2day roll on autumn i say lol my fave month,hope you and your son are both well 2day,i am at the library using there computer am hoping 2 get my own in a couple of months yay!.
Hi elle. Yes I got your message thankyou. Just now in fact, hehe. Son and I are good thanks. We went to the cinema this morning, and saw Mr Poppins and the penguins! It was pouring down standing at the bus stop, and brilliant sunshine when we left the flicks!! How are things with you and your son? Having your own pc/laptop will make such a difference. I have a pc, years old, and am sure it's on its way out 
Hi elle81
I love your commitment of visiting us from the library, it will be lovely to have your own laptop though!
As for meeting a new partner and settling down, I think the most important thing is to focus on today and make the most of it, you never know what is round the corner and if you want for something that you can't buy, then you can become disappointed. I yearned for a partner when my daughter was younger and actually became quite unhappy as I felt her life and my life wasn't complete. However I do understand your wishes and am not knocking them, just look after yourself and your boy and make the most of what you have 
hazeleyes - if your computer is on its way out, don't forget the message I posted in May, I believe that the offer is still running Low cost pcs and broadband.
oh cool that looks like a good film did u enjoy it? we went 2 see horrid henry a couple of weeks ago that was a laugh! we are both fine thanx,popped it 2 town this morn get my son some bits 4 school and i treated myself 2 a few new bits aswell,got soaked even tho i had a brolly lol,where are you from? if u dont mind me being nosey lol,i think my friend is staying at a friends 2nite so have got the evening 2 myself.
hi anna thanx for your message i am really enjoying the site so far,did you set it up? and will be good to come on when i want when i get my laptop and good 2 help my son with his home work! yes you are rite about focusing on the here and now and making the most of it,and i do try lol im not desperate 4 a man lol i am a believer in fate and destiny and itl happen when the times rite.well im hoping so lol.
Hi elle81, I love hearing that people enjoy this site as well as find it a life saver, a friend or just a one stop shop for some advice.
I have worked on this project since it started in May 2008, from writing the very first message, to writing articles and populating the site, we have seen many changes over the years as our oldies will know and I love it!
Be careful with letting your son on your laptop, you might never get it back!! Don't tell him about Club Penguin!
I hope you have a lovely evening tonight, what are your plans, I hope that you are meeting up with someone, or at the very least having nice food, bubbly bath, donning your favourite outfit that rarely sees the light of day and watching a film/TV!! (Perhaps not even doing the washing up!!)
i bet its a really enjoyable job! and everyone semms really friendly i was so excited when people made comments on my threads and i was excited to do a thread aswell lol,tonite i am going 2 read my book have a nice soak in the bath ,maybe watch bridget jones 4 the hundreth time or the 1st sex in the city movie i have both and still not watched the 1st one yet which i have had for 2 years lol i really miss him when he is gone tho but know its good 4 us 2 both have a bit of space .
could someone please let me know if my avatar pic is showing up as the guy at the library helped me do it but nothing is showing up.thanx
Hi elle, no the pic isn't showing up. I remember when I first did mine, nothing showed, but I think it was Louise that got it sorted. Have no fear, Anna and Louise are here, hehe.
Without giving exact location, I'm not far from Watford, which isn't far from London, lol. Am sitting here in wet socks, I have a hole in my boots, oh well.
Anna, I have got now got a laptop, correction, I have bought one for C for his birthday, but of course, I'm sharing it, lol. He's got it already, even though his birthday not til the 5th, but he's certainly getting money worth out of it!!
Elle, it will be great once you get your laptop. More time to chat 
hi hazel eyes ah cool oh yes id have 2 share it if i was u 2 lol i have not got a clue how 2 do the avatar thing the guy at the library tried 2 do mine lol i mite have a go in a mo see what i can do,im in the east midlands,and as 4 the hole in your boots that gives u a excuse 2 buy a new pair lol.
I wish elle, boots I mean. Have C's birthday looming upon me, plus I've paid out for new uniform, plus paying off a bed, not forgetting those dreaded bills of course. I'm afraid new boots, trainers, and hopefully jeans (as I've put on weight this hols) will have to wait.
well primani do a very good bargain thats where i get all my clothes and boots from but i know wat u mean its one thing after another pay out payout payout lol i have tried again 2 do my avatar but i still dont think its up im not very computer literate lol.
hi can anybody help me please ,i have got my avatar on here of me but then i did one of me and my son and wen i put the code in it just keeps saying invalid,any help would be much appreciated thanx,
YAY i have done it i dont think im as bad at this whole computer thing as i thought!! lol
HOORAY, I know the avatar thing sometimes takes people a couple of goes, seems occasionally temperamental.
Looks good elle. Well done for not letting it get the better of you, hehe.
Hope you're having a good day. Did you mean Primark in the post before? That is a brilliant store. I generally get C's t-shirts, socks, pants etc from there.
yes i am so far even tho my sons still at his friends and am beginning 2 feel like i have had one of my arms cut off lol are you having a good day so far? yes i meant primark it seems to be the only place i shop lol and the kids clothes are loveley and really good value 4 money.
There's no pleasing us parents sometimes. We moan about wanting some peace, when we get it, we moan that we're missing them, 
I know exactly what you mean though, it does feel like something is missing doesn't it? Enjoy the quiet because soon it will be broken, heh
i know i moan i want time on my own then wen hes gone i want him home lol i bet i wont be saying that wen he comes home and he starts acting like kevin the teenager moaning and pulling strops you have got it all 2 come lol wouldnt change him 4 the world tho lol must be a stage hes going thru well i hope it is lol
Yes, they all go through different stages don't they? Does your son still have contact with his Dad?
no he dosent lets just say hes not a nice person and wouldnt be a good role model plus hes unreliable i went 2 hell and bak wen i was with him,does your son see his dad?
No. He lives in a different country now (a blessing). We had split before I knew I was pregnant, told him, out of decency, but he only wanted to know C if we got back together! I won't tell you on here what my answer to that was hehe. C has met him twice. The last time was 2 years ago, and I ended up telling him to leave my garden. Not heard from him since, but he could have kept in touch with C. Doesn't get birthday cards, christmas or anything else for that matter. C knows if he does want to contact him, then I wouldn't stand in his way.
you are a better person than me then hazel eyes as i would be dead set against my son seeing his dad 2 be honest he is a violent bully and a drug addict but then saying that i bet cs dad is not like that or you wouldnt want c 2 see him,i wish rs dad was a normal dad who could do things with him and be a father figure,i find it hard 2 play mum and dad sometimes dont you? and sometimes feel guilty that r hasnt got a normal dad who he has a relationship with.
Hello elle81
You might like to read our article here about talking about absent parents.
Please don't feel guilty, I do know the feeling, I remember thinking to myself "why couldn't I have picked a better dad for my boys?" but we have to try our best not to criticise the other parent, because the child is 50% biologically them. As children get older they see for themselves what their parents are like
hi thanx louise thanx for the link i read it and it was very helpfull and the tips were great
Hi elle. Yes, it is hard to play both Mum and Dad. I have tried to explain to C that not only do I play the softie, I also have to dish out discipline too. He does understand this (I think). I think the gut wrenching thing for me is school things, and he only has me there to watch assemblies etc. A couple of times, I have asked a friend along, and he is delighted. I'm guessing though, that children with two parents have problems too. Both showing up, not speaking, let alone looking at each other. Yes, it is hard. C's Father wasn't violent or anything, so again, that is hard for you. He had to get out of the country (according to his own father), as he owed money to lots of people. He's a gambler, and would rather drink, gamble etc than face up to responsibility. Waste of space basically. Saying that, so are the rest of his family. I did contact C's 'Grandfather'. He wasn't even aware that he had a 'grandson'. He seemed delighted when I told him, on asking if he'd like to meet up in a park or something, he promptly told me he didn't want to get involved. The 'Grandmother' lives just down the road, and around the corner. No interest at all, so C hasn't set eyes on any of them.
Once I start on this subject, I don't shut up hehe. Sorry.
How's your day going?
hi again hazel eyes lol i know wat u mean its the whole good cop bad cop thing isnt it,yes it was hard but i know wat u mean about children with 2 parents having problems 2 atleast its just us and our sons and they have our undivided attention and love,as for the grandmother and grandfather they dont even deserve that title! they are missing out on your lovely little boy so more fool them,r dosent see any of the other side of the family so has only got a little family but i have enough love 2 give r than all of them put together.
C only has a little family too. Some on my side aren't worth mentioning so I won't, hehe. Weekends, Christmas, long school holidays, such as this one, I find extremely hard. Emotionally I mean, as well as financially of course. Emotionally, as I have friends with hubbys, so they are with them and their children plus their extended famililes when it comes to Christmas time. C and I are on our own then (nothing new there really). Long holidays, as the money just isn't there, and I hear of others going here, there and everywhere, which all costs. I did take C to the cinema last week, which he thoroughly enjoyed, but even a little thing like that takes money from the purse, which really isn't spare.
The joys of life eh.
me and r go 2 my mums 4 xmas dont get me wrong i love my mum but theres things i cant forgive her 4 plus shes the opposite of me,and can sometimes be quite moody and miserable.my grandad stopped speaking 2 me wen i got pregnant at 16 because rs dad is mixed race,i know at u mean we went 2 southport 4 the day last week but that took me a while 2 put the money aside,atleast c wont end up spoilt and appreciates it wen u can go places,u mite think im a bit of a saddo wen i tell u this i have already started my xmas shopping i got 2 presents bak in january in the sale lol and have got a few more since then i just hate panicking nearer the the time.now its me whos go off the subject lol.soz!
Families eh? Christmas presents, not sad at all elle. In fact last year on here, I told some members that I would be starting my shopping in March/April. I haven't of course, but so wishing I had now. Last year was the worst ever for me I think. I shall start very soon, once I've paid off a few more things!!! Well done you for being organised. Remind me next year to start earlier please
I am always willing to start nagging at any time of the year, hazeleyes
I got two Christmas catalogues in the post last week. I put them in the recycling.
Nag away PLEASE Louise!!! I'm also getting the catalogues through 
On one of the selling channels, throughout the holidays, they have been selling xmas stuff. What is this all about? No doubt Christmas cards are being sold, as we speak (type, hehe)
Well I was the one who bought a load of cards in the sales two years ago and lost them! so had to buy more, so last year did not buy any because I found the original ones
Why don't we just decide that the only people who are getting anything whatsoever for Christmas are our children? The thing that puts the costs up for mke is my sister has two children and the boys have two cousins on their dad's side too. Of this total of four cousins, THREE have their birthdays very near Christmas so that is seven cards with money in 
hi hazel eyes i am very proud of msyelf 4 being organised lol i used 2 have a social lone 2 help me thru xmas but the amount they make u pay a week is ridiculous so i havent had one 4 2 years,hopefully will get another this week if i can manage it!!
For two years now, three of C's friend's Mums have bought him a present I told them all that I wasn't in a position to do the same back, and they know my circumstances, but I still felt obliged to get their children a little something. Last year, another Mum bought C something, despite me telling her also, so that's made my total to four kids now. Like you elle, I have relied on the loans, but I don't think I can do it this year (not that I want too of course). I'm going to start buying after 20th September that's for definate. You have permission to nag me along with Louise
...you will regret that 
heh heh!
A friend of mine always used to send money in the boys' birthday cards and so I put it in her boys' cards, this year she put it in youngest but not eldest, I am going to have a chat with her and say don't worry about putting it in either, then I can stop too! If you have spoken to these mums and said you can't buy back then why don't you just do that ie not buy? they might be buying for C because you aren't awash with money and Christmas gives them a little chance to spoil him without seeming to step on your toes. Let them have that joy is what I say!!!!
Another friend of mine received a card the other Christmas and it said "The X family will not be sending cards out in future but will be giving a donation to charity" Fair enough. However my friend did not like these people and had had no contact since the previous card so she wrote one saying "The Y family has not even heard from you since last Christmas so please just **** off" Her husband would not let her send it though!! 
What I am really saying is try not to get too stressed about it all
hi elle 81
how are you and your son ....? hope all is well are u enjoying this lovely weather..?