hi elle sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it with your son i have a 14 yr old he can be very moody im a bit like you i lose my rag then wish i could have dealt with it differently. I must say though he has never lashed out at me i can only say that when he does do it may be you should try and be as calm as you can be which would be hard! but try and make him see what he is actually doing talk him through it and explain that he is growing and getting bigger and one day he could really hurt you.
Hello tryinghard
Don't forget we have a special section Parenting Teenagers if you want to talk about your teens, I know you say, trying hard, that you would like to do it differently, we can help you with that, but I like what you said in your post: that staying calm is the key. It certainly is! 
hi trying hard thank you,things have been better the last couple of days since we sat down and had a chat i know itl take time,and he wont turn in 2 a complete angel lol,i kept my cool yday and i felt so much better for doing so,please tell me it gets easier as they get older lol
hi elle 81 oh i wish i could tell you that it gets easier but really it dont my son is 14( he'l be 15 on new years eve) he still has mood swings some days he cant do enough for me cups of tea keeping the little ones busy then other days you cant look at him, but i think as time went on i learnt how to handle his moods i still fly off the handle with him from time to time but its bearable now if he gets too big for his boots then i threaten him with no ps3 and that really hurts him lol!
lol i had a feeling you would say that trying hard lol yes thats why ive been doing no ps3 and no going out hits them where it hurts dosent it oh yeah i bet i will still fly off the handle from time 2 time but just not worth it in the end as i was doing it just about everyday lol
Spending quality time with our children, especially as they grow into adults is SOO vital, it makes them feel listened too, important and gives them a strong sense of self worth.
Funnily enough I was having a discussion with a friend about our own parents and how nice it feels if they call and want to spend time with us on their own.
I hope that you have both read the Getting your child to co-ooperate - setting the rules?? 
hi hazel eyes nice of cs friends mums to buy him a prezzie but i think they should have listened to u,maybe a selection box each would make a good prez as im sure they will apreciate it and it means spending less so u can contentrate on getting cs prezzies cant believe its only nearly 4 months away this year hes gone so quick as always!!