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hi bin soliciters, hopefully legal aid cum in tym, think ex b shocked i stil avnt responded to him,he txt me yesterday, didnt av alot of sleep again, my little girl up most of nyt, im so tired,
kiera - you are brilliant - well done you for not texting him back and recognising that he changes his tune like the weather in UK summertime!! 
I am glad that the concert went well, I hope the football is fun, it is really hot but muggy here, I hope his team wins!
Did the solicitors go well? Why is your little one not sleeping at the moment, is she suffering from hayfever too?
hi im not well, sore throat, achin alover, my little girl same, plus hayfever, got sum piriton medicine yest, ex bin quiet apart from 1 txt, feels so mad it being so quiet,but gud,soliciters went well, legal aid going thru,my little girl ad me up at 4am again,dont no why she keeps waking up, so tired,x
Eurgh it's awful when everyone is poorly, you don't feel well yourself and then you have to be in and out of bed all night seeing to the children. I wonder why your daughter keeps waking up? She may be thirsty if her throat is sore, is it practical for you to leave her a toddler beaker of water? maybe not f she is still in a cot. Do you try to settle her back down, I wonder if the light mornings are disturbing her and you need a blackout blind, what do you think?
Glad things have gone quiet, enjoy the peace! Hope you soon feel better. When does your eldest go on holiday?
Hope you get better quickly Kiera
Hi kiera, saw you on line, hope your daughter okay now.
Hi keira, how are you i hope that you and your daughter are feeling better 
MODERATOR: a post has been removed from this thread as it contravenes the Forum rules (see here) in particular General Forum rules 2 and 4
hi everyone how are u all, im ok and my family is, kids boke up now from school, im due in court next wed, ova ex taking me court over our little girl, we av txt each over so i no my soliciter gona go mad, but never mind, he wants us get bk together but i cant, i av support goin court, lady from sure start cumon with me, iav place on freedom programme this thur near mexx
Hi kiera, great to hear from you. glad to hear that you and your family is well. Wow your children have broken up for school already, are they looking forward to the long holidays?
I am glad that you are getting support when you go to Court and that you have a place on the Freedom Programme.
So... you have been in text contact. How are you feeling about that?
hi im not sure how i feel, i do think alot bout my ex, i dont no why but i do,cos all ive eva wanted is a family,and for me to end up back on my own again is horrible, i dont really no wot i want, i wanted b propa family, luk how it as turned outx
i no if i get bk with him then evberything i have done as been for nothing, cant help way i feel, its my life, and end of day its me sat in every nyt on my own, maybe ex wont let me down agin, i no he wud cum bk like a shot if i asked him to, he is gud dad when he is ere, all i think bout is my ex, please sum advice, even tho i no wot ur gona say to me
Aww kiera, you do know what I am going to say and you know it too.
You have come sooo far down this road, that if you went back it really wouldn't be long before all the aggro started again, but it would be even harder to get him out, not easier. At the moment he is saying everything you want to hear. He might believe it too, but you know him better than anyone, how he really is or can be.
It is easier to go backwards, because it is what we know and it takes a strong woman to keep saying 'no' and move forward for her own self and that of her children.
He just needs to say one nasty thing again and you will remember why you don't want to be with him again.
A lot of us have sat home alone night after night because we are raising children on our own, and yes it does get lonely, but it is so much better to be doing that and feeling free than to be walking on eggshells.
I disagree that he is a good dad - ok maybe once in a while, but he is not consistently a good father.
Please listen to the lyrics of this song, it made me really think about what I was doing with my ex - Put Him Out (especially note the lyrics from 02:30)
Tell me what you think.
hi i take it all back, cafcass rang me today, ym ex ad said 2 allegations, 1 im regular cocaine user, 2 i leave kids al tym on their own, well wot can u say to tht, i said well cocaine is meant to b expensive habit isnt it, god i cudnt afford it, and tht il take any drug test, and i dont leave kids, my 19 yr old watches um or my mum, and my 14 half yr old boy sumtyms dus when i nip shop 2 mins away, i said hes 1 with long criminal record and got caught growing drugs and turned up at myn astoned few tyms, so now socail services b involved again, great, god wot else wil he say, my support worker said its cos he as lost control of u, and tht i av nice home, my kids go school av excellant reports, my little girl very well looked after, she as bin to my home few tyms,and bin to freedom programme this morning, was good , i was bit upset earlier but ok nowx
please reply thanks
and i listened to song, its right the words
Hi Kiera,
Sorry you didn't get an answer sooner, but there can't always be someone on the boards.
What a horrid thing for your ex to do - but it seems like good timing to me, as you were having a waver for a bit there weren't you. I think your support worker is right - he felt you weren't in his control anymore and panicked.
I shouldn't worrry too much about Social Services. It sounds as though your support worker will help you set the record straight with them. I'm glad you weren't upset for too long, and that you stil managed to take part in the Freedom Programme yesterday. Well done for not letting him get too far under your skin.
I haven't listen to the song that Anna posted a link for, but I'm glad it helped you x
ur ryt when u said all ex as to do is say one nasty word and il remember why i dont want b with him, well them 2 allegations he said r disgusting, god nos wot he wil say next, he wil say anythin to make me luk bad, i want to ask do i ever have to see him again,m just domestic officer said to me u dont have to see that man ever agian, but when u av kid with um how is that possible, i mean i court im goin an private room, ive told my soliciter and got support goin with me, nice lady from surestart,say it goes to contact centre how do i not see him, and cafcass guy said,do i av sum1 to hand ur little girl over, isaid no every1 hates him cos what he did to me on holiday when he assaulted me badly,i said i dont want him to see her, i dont trust him, and dont even no where he lives and he gave false adress,he as threatended to take er off me and not bring er back,a residency order is goin thru as well, my legal aid cum thru last week, i am nervous bout next wed thox
I'm not surprised you're nervous. I'm glad you have someone form Sure Start going with you to provide you with some support.
I understand what you are saying about your ex & the contact centre, but perhaps you should try to deal with things one step at a time. Get through next Wednesday as best you can, then start thinking about what happens next.
You can alway post whatever's running through your head on the boards.
Look after yourself, Kiera
Hi kiera, it is good to hear from you, i had been wondering if you were o.k.
If your ex is granted contact through a contact centre he would not be able to take your daughter as they have staff there specificially to stop this kind of thing happening.
It is only natural that you feel nervous about next week, have you been told what will be happening in court? What plans do you have for the holidays?
i just cant believe the allegations wx as cum out with,so much trouble he is causing me, was so upset yesterday,
cafcass said there b no contact as av do checks first, him with long criminal record not me
Hi kiera, wow, how typical was that, he had to go and do something else didn't he. I am sorry that he said those things, especially to a legal person, however he has just proved once again, that a leopard doesn't change his spots and that you can't trust him.
In one sense this might be a good thing as the courts will see what kind of games he is prepared to play.
Do not worry about when and if you have to see him again. I know it is difficult, but try and trust that you will get stronger over the next few months and you will deal with what you have to as the time comes.
i av nothin to hide, i said to cafcass guy bring test now and il pass it, il prove tht what he sayin is lies, and when ss come to visit my home they see my kids luked after and house nice, and they see his criminal record, hes tried to get me bk for weeks and it asnt worked so now he takin me court,
hi well ex as got nerve, well we knew that didnt we, cafcass guy told him not txt me and told me not txt him, well after them horrible things he said bout me im never txtin him agin, well he txt this mornin sayin hope my little girl is ok and take it ur happy with dragin court out rather than be cival and let me c my daughter, omg wot a nerve, aftre wot he said, god i hate him,after wot he said bout me and trouble e as caused me, he can go to hell, il b showin tht txt to cafcass guy wed mornionx
and top it off not bin well last 3 days, ad runs and feel sick and no appitite, hardly eaten anythin,dont no wots up, my kids are fine,really bad cramps,if it carries on gona make appointment at doctors mayb its stressx
Hi Kiera,
It does sound as though your digestive system may well be tied up in knots due to the situation you're in. I know it's easier to say than do, but please try not to worry. Try to get some 'you time' as well, if it's possible; it sounds like you're going to need your energy this coming week.
I'm not surprised that your ex has text messaged you. It seems to me that he will do whatever he can to control you/ 'get his own way'. Glad to hear you've saved the text & will be showing it to CAFCASS on Wednesday. The more evidence you have to support what you're saying, the better.
Thinking of you x
well im surprised he txt me,after wot he said to cafcass guy ud think he wudnt txt me,its awful wot he said, 2 serious allegations and he txt me day after,
Keira, the way it comes across is that he's trying to control you & worse than that, is using a form of emotional blackmail to do so (you said he'd said something about 'I take it you're happy dragging this out in court rather than being civil & letting me see my daughter'?) Surely if he had been civil you would have let him have access, but he hasn't behaved in any way appropriately by the sounds of it.
yeah ur ryt i dont trust him to av er, god i dont even no where e lives, he giv false adress, i av residency order goin thru, cafcass guy mention a non molestation order, my soliciter said threats not serious enuf but she wud send waod he asnt paid me panny torning letter out, she did but to different adress as he ad giv me false adress,but a residency order wud b peace of mind so he canty take er as he on birth certificate, and just beyond belief tht he txt me day after after makin them serious allegations, to me it sounds like he desperate for it not to go thru court plus all money he gona av spend, as he keeps sayin the money better in my pocket than a soliciter, god he asnt paid me apenny towards our daughter,
sorry my words got bit mixed up, typin fast
Don't apologise Keira, I got the general idea.
It sounds as though securing a residency order is a sensible idea, given how things are with your ex & the way he has behaved. The fact that he is saying 'the money would be better in your pocket' suggests to me that he is really worried about what might go on in court on Wednesday.
Hoping it all goes well for you.
i shall b provin allegitations not true and b him tht will luk vindictive to the courts, and its him with long criminal record not me, ive never bin in trouble ever,and he nos this, thts why he tryin to cause me trouble, god he was caught growin canabis in a house last year, he got susended sentance and this year he got caught with ampetamine in in truck and a gas canister and police arested him,he ad go court again, he got extra hours of comunity service, and he nos it all gona cum out bout him, cos cafcass doin checks on us both, u no only crime ive dun is keep takin him back thts itx
and i found out he assaulted his ex 2 months after he assaulted me, tht wil cum out, to me is wil be desperate for me to back down and let him see our daughter, but im not
It sounds like you're pretty certain, Keira.
I'm sure the way which your ex has behaved will be very clear in court on Wednesday.
mad though how he begged to b bk with me for weeks, and in middle of the begging made an application to court to c k while stil beggin me to get bk with him,mean if he wanted to c his daughter thru court fyn but why say horrible allegations towards me, he wud no social services wud be informed , causin me more stress,thts nastyx
But his behaviour has often been bad, hasn't it Keira? I can't say why he has done what he's done - but it has had an awful effect on you & your being upset isn't helpful when you are bringing up a child.
Try not to let it go round in your head as it seems to be.
Hope you have a chance to relax this evening.
(By the way - just so you know, I edited out your daughter's name.)
ok i av 2 sons as well ere. 14 and 10, and 19 yr old daughter, she at uni, well bk ome,part at er dads and ere,im gona chill, watch film lata, get my little girl in bed soon, she ad long nap so goin bed bit lata,bin nice today for a change,x
hi yeah his bhaviour bin awful over period of 2 years,my only crime was keep takin him bk time after timex
Hi Keira,
Glad you had a nice day yesterday. Did you get chance to see a film - if so, what did you watch? Hope you got a chance to unwind a bit.
Taking someone back because you have feelings for them isn't a crime. Don't beat yourself up because you cared. Try to concentrate on this week & once Wednesday is over, hopefully you will be able to concentrate on you, your kids & all the possibilities the future holds.
watched titanic,, love tht film, well we are all goin away for a week in a caravan in august, cant wait to get awayx
All good stuff. It sounds like a break from it all is just what you need.
Hi Keira,
In answer to your question on sammie's thread; no, there's no limit to the amount of times you can post. But I am concerned that you are posting the same thing over & over. I'm worried about you 
Read what you posted to sammie again. There is no mention of her situation in there that I can see. It didn't read to me like a response to what has been going on for her.
Why do you think things will be worse after Wednesday?
i suppose i was telling er my situation,well i can just see its gona just drag on, and then i av to face social services at my home,not a very nice thing to go thru, it just aint gona end not with my ex spouting rubbish
why are u worried bout me
Hello kiera, I have been off for a week so just catching up on your news.
We are ALL concerned about you, in answer to your question to Mary. You have been through so much. Mary was just highlighting to you that if you are chatting on another thread then we ask you not to duplicate what you have already written It's one of the forum rules and comes as a result of some people -not you- putting the same message in many, many places on the board so we have to be fair to everyone and ask that if you post on another thread, then perhaps you could vary your response by discussing the other person's problem as well as your own. Hope that is clear.
So....getting back to your news, you have a big week ahead, we will all be thinking of you and it is excellent that the Sure Start lady is coming with you.Is there a special treat you can get for you and the children on Wednesday?
hi i understand sorry, im ok, i av been thru alot and i suppose i expected my ex to do wot he is doin like takin me to court, i didnt expect the 2 allegations tho, he must no by sayin what he as tht social services b on my case now, i think cos he nos it wil come out bout his past and long criminal record he tryin to make me out to be bad mum, i dont av criminal record,ive never eva bin in trouble bfore, i am glad i av support wed x
Morning kiera
Yes I am sure it will all come out and that will look bad for him....just hold your nerve with it all, you KNOW you are a good mum so there is nothing to worry about in that department.
What are you doing today?
hi wellgot mi lawnmower fixed,next door elped me, she as elped me pull all weeds up,bin nice today,im so tired ,ope my little girl sleeps thru tonyt, i wud love full nyts sleepxmy daughter cumin tomz,always happy to see er, she just cum bk from magalufx
Hope you get a better night tonight