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thanks for ur reply, il get anova sim, i avnt change my mind no, in his eyes tho cos i txt i want him bk and i must av sumfeeling for him his words not myn, just now tht warniong letter soliciter sent does tht mean its worthless now or wot, not sure, i didnt ring police as was bit drunk , creapy tho he waits for me at tht time 4am, but told him wil ring police everytym he cums near me, and stil tell soliciter and hopefuly go for non molestation orderxx
had really gud nyt, gud to meet up wiv mates and av gud dance and few cocktailsm adnt bin out for onths, ex said ur gallavanting bout i c, glad he was pissed off i went out, ha,i said as nothin to do with u, god ive bin so gud ad no contact fopr 5 bloody weeks then luk wot i did, not goin out for while now so i wont b txting himx
sori i didnt txt i want him bk ,meant to put a ccomar after word txt, itxt iwas sic of u letting me down, just wanted to explain thtx
you can get a free tesco sim card if you go on their website
can i, okxx
Another good reason to change a sim card.
At least you had a good night out kiera.
hi yeah 99p for a sim, il get 1
Hi kiera, glad you had a brilliant night out, it was what you deserved, after being cooped up in your home, feeling frightened, not sure of when the phone is going to ring next etc, it must have been a relief to get out and let your hair down. 
OK, so you rang him. As Hopeful says, we have all been there! You didn't text him saying you wanted him back, I think you are pretty clear headed about what he is up to. I think you did really well for telling him at 4am that you didn't want him to come near you and what you would do if he did. So well done - don't beat yourself up, you didn't go home with him or anything.
I don't think that you contacting him will make the letter that the solicitor sent worthless. If you do need to contact the police again and he says that you text him first, you know this isn't the case, he has persisted in calling you.
Please do talk to Wave and ask them to make sure that the police know how serious this situation is and make them aware of their mistake of telling him to 'contact you after a few days' - Although we don't know if this is true or whether he made it up.
Are you getting the Tesco sim card today??
hi i didnt ring him, i tx him twice saying was sic of u lettin me down thts it, i was drunk, when i got out taxi i walked out shadow, creepy, and walked towards me,. of course now i txt he thinks i stil love him and stil av feelings for him, he said ur drunk gallavanting bout i c,. i said as nothin to dop with u, he said shud i ring police wiv u in tht state, so he cum in, askin cud he stay and lie next to me, i said no, ul av to go and txt u soon, he hugged me, but i didnt hug him bk, he said god it feels so gud to hug u, hesaid im shakin, i found it quite creepy tho, anyway he went, of course he now as my new mobile nu, he asnt stopped txting, tuk sim out, yet again,no it is true thts wot copper said to my ex in my kitchen iheard it, wot a thing to say, ridiculous,
im meant to tel my soliciter if he cums near me agin, and he did turn up at 4am , but i didnt ring police. so i dont no wot do,
il ring wave and c wot they sayx
Good plan kiera, calling Wave. I didn't realise he came into your house, well done for getting him out and not allowing him to stay.
What have Wave said?
hi bin so upset today, just fed up of everythin,ex txt last nyt just sayin he ad bin in social services and there isnt a marker on his name and he spoke to his auntie who works for ss and she said tht i av to stop ringing police or ass will intervene, i no he is lieing and playin games ,i hate him, i threw my sim in bin and frustation, so fed up ansd tired and sic of him, got to ring my soliciter now and tell he i tx him twice and he turned up at myn,ad woman from sure start cum round, ad gud chat she understands, rang wave she said letter from soliciter wont be void but if a ad restraining order and i wud of contacted him it wud be void,wish he wud disapearx
well spoke to my soliciter, she wasnt happy, even more so cos he cum into my ouse, i explained he intimidating me and isnt tht easy and he went within 5 mins, she said i my chances of getin non molestation order are damaged, i feel sick and ready to give up, i cant carri on no more
she said i mean if any woman was scared of er ex she wudnt let him in to er house, thts how judge wud c it, but she doesnt understand, not tht easy,
please reply, sum1
Ahh, kiera, I am so sorry to hear that you are getting negativity from your solicitor. She obviously doesn't understand domestic abuse and has had no training in the matter. You are absolutely right, when you are intimidated by someone you do everything in your power to stay safe and that is what you did. I think you acted very well considering.
It was completely human nature for you to text your ex, everybody makes mistakes.
You have come sooo far since we started speaking, it is normal that you had a relapse, but what you need to do now - which is what you are doing - is pick yourself up and carry on where you left off.
I am glad that the woman from Sure Start is understanding. Please don't beat yourself up over the this. It is not worth it.
So now you don't have a sim card and I am presuming that your phone is unplugged. Good. You won't be hearing from him tonight then.
If someone at Wave has said that the solicitors letter won't be void, then you stick to your plan of calling Police if he turns up or pesters you. Yes, your solicitor says that the chances of getting a non molestation order are damaged, but this doesn't mean that its impossible.
Have you had your dinner yet?
hi thank u for replying,no simand house fone unplugged,yes i av carry on now again,i will call police if he turns up agin, i dont think police r takin it seriously enuf, 1st tym police cum when he turned up they said they wud arrest himnext tym, well they didnt, poilce told him contact me in a couple days when im calm, unbelievable, so if he turns up agin police said go down harassment route agin and do a statement, my soliciter wil advis eme if e turns up again, so c wot appens, but he wil turn up agin, i no tht much, im so fed up wiv it all, cried so much today, it is getin to me now, dont no how much i can takex
and yes we av ad spag bol for txx
Aw Kiera, I am so sorry to hear that about your solicitor. She obviously hasn't been in that situation!
It's not always a question of 'letting', is it? I remeber my ex just pushing his way in once - I have not ever been as scared as that, he was walking through every room, touching everything - I felt really really violated.
Hope you get real proper help soon!
Hugs xxx
kiera, you made a mistake in contacting him on your night out, but like others have said, most of us have done something daft. Try and forget that night, and move on from that, and start all over again. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Ring the police if he shows up, and don't hesitate in doing so.
Glad you had a good night out, even though it ended badly. Don't let it put you off going out again though.
hi i no, like mi soliciter said ive dun damage now in me getin a non molestation order,i no she is right,i wil ring police defo, im out again 7th july and i wont b contacting againx
Hi kiera
How are you this morning?
Ooh, meant to ask you have you deleted your ex's number? I guess that ALL of us have texted someone we should not have done after a few drinks....I know I have.
Hazeleyes is right don't dwell on this, move forward now. You are gathering some good support around you: us, your friends, Wave, Sure Start....the more support the better is what I say 
Ok, the solicitor has been rather unsupportive but it is time now to continue the ignore strategy and build up your chances of the non-molestation order.
av i ruined my chances of geting a non mol order, soliciter said cos one ex cum in my ouse and two i didnt ring police, i said not tht easy, i felt intimidated and i didnt let him in he just cum in like last time, cos id txt him i didnt want ring police and cos id ad a drink, i dont av my ex numbers in my fone, its cos ive got old txtx of his in my fone, if i delete so many my fone cuts out so i just leave um,ithrw my sim in bin, and house fone unplugged so he can av no contact, oh apart from turnin up and i wil ring police, and the police av made faults as well, tellin my ex to spk to me in a couple of days , tht was last wed, stil cant believe thtx
Hi kiera, I have just realised that you said that you have thrown the sim away. Can you get it back? Does it have any messages on it or show how many times he has called, because this may be evidence.
I am not really sure of the legal side of the non molestation order, however even if you had been sleeping with the guy for the last 5 weeks and now you didn't want him around you and he started bothering you, this doesn't mean he is allowed to. I would ask the solicitor the following
If my ex comes to my house, threatens me in any way or persists in calling me and I am scared, would the non molestation order still stand or would I need to get a new one?
Then you would know where you stand.
You have your phones unplugged, but I am wondering if you have heard anything from your ex yesterday or today?
Spag bol sounds lush, I want someone to make that for me
hi got sim bk , ex sent txt today askin wud i spk to him if he rings off his work fone, and he txt yesterday,my sim out fone now, i put it in if i need send a txt as i av unlinited txt u c, and house fone unplugged, i plug it in if i need to make a fonecall, ex rang this afternoon,he wil turn up agin and im dreading it,
Glad you got your SIM back.
Would you think about getting an exercise book and start writing down dates and events, something like:
June 10th: message left on landline saying that he was sick of everything and was coming down to sort me out. Four texts received, one said that if I did not stop ringing the police then social services would get involved......
Write every day in this book, as to what has happened. What you are doing is building up evidence now. And if your ex does come round, then ring the police.
hi yes im gona start doin tht thank u,il sort dates out when he cum round twice plus when he cum round sat even tho i didnt ring police, x
well wrote down in a diary tymes he txt me and fone house fone and left voice messages,and when police was called,he txt yesterday askin did i want anythin for his dawter. god he asnt got er anythin for months and he asks now,x
He will always think of new excuses to phone, kiera and you know that he says something nice but it is not long before he says aggressive or insulting things again.
Great that you are writing things down now!
Is your daughter home this weekend?
hi yes she home sunday now, its er 19th birthday 24th june, u no its crazy how us women av to change everythin and av so much disruption in our lives and they just seem cari on,its not rytx
god ive written down all tyms he as txt and rang and left voice messages and ithink bloody hell its alot,when u luk at it in black and white,id b so happy if he just left me alone, ive met a mum who bin thru same from down south, she as offered for me and kids go stay wiv er in school holidays, we txt and spk alot she nice, she was in very abusive relationship, i think i wil to get awayx
met er on netmumsx
That sounds interesting kiera, please make sure that you check her story out, before you travel all that way. Remember that you are vulnerable right now.
I am really pleased to hear that you are writing things down now. This will really show the solicitor and the police (if you need), just how much and for how long this harassment has been going on for. Well done.
I hope your daughter has a great birthday - any plans? How are your boys at the moment?
hi well on fb pics of er and er likttle boy and er daughter, we spk on fone alot, she seems genuine, i no wot u mean tho, she is goin out wiv er mates for er birthday but im treatin er to night out on 30th june,plus givin er euros for her holiday in maguluf in july wiv er mates, boys are gudm well my 10 year old suffers wiv hayfever, well i do as well, his eyes really puffed up, he as medicinex
Hi kiera. It's great that you have found someone to talk to, but if she is still having problems with her ex, then you definately don't want to be there when/if it happens. You have more than enough on your own plate. Be careful if you do go.
i will hun dont wori,im avin glass of wine now, watchin eastenders, both boys ad bath my little girl asleep, ex rang twice today and ive written it down, i no at sum point he turn up again but poice b called out and my soliciter informed,thts all i can do really,x
Yes kiera, you have put things in place now and you have more of a plan. That's good. You're right: writing the calls and texts down does make you realise how many there are.
Hope your daughter has a fab birthday, she will look forward to her holiday. EURGH hy fever, it is that time of year and the rain makes it worse as the clouds seem to trap the pollen in the artmosphere, hope your boy is Ok
hi i ad only justy put sim in my fone to send a txt and ex rang, and he as sent 2 txt this morning,il write it down now,ad take my 14 year old son doctors to av surgery on his neck, he ad lump, they av removed it, send it to the lab,hope everythin ok,and hayfever is bad,we all av it, my 10 year old as it worse,x
ex as rang house fone twice this morning and off his mobile nu as he cant ring off witheld as ive ad witheld blocked, he left voice message on house fone sayin wud i turn my fone bk on as he as ad an accident at work, a mean like i care,. cos i dont, mean why he tellin me tht, and he sent 2 txt to my fone and rang my mobile, my sim bk out now and fone unplugged and writen it all downx
Welldone keira for not responding to his texts, have just been catching up with your posts and you are doing great, writing everything down will show the solicitors how much he is contacting you and what he says etc.
What are your plans for the weekend? How is everyone today?
hi ex left message saying he ad bin in an accident at work, AND,I DONT GIV A TOSSXX
well no room on my paper as ex txting alot today and rang mobile alot, cudnt believe e txt he ad the accident at work as he cudnt concentrate at work cos of me and wot im doin to him and he cud do wiv my help, unbelievabexive tuk sim bk out fone, txts wil stiil cumthru, he really harassing today, hope he doesnt cum down as he is on one u no
Hi kiera, he is trying everything now isn't he. Accident at work? If you were to ring him, it would probably be something incredibly minor or nothing at all! It is all tactics.
You say that you have run out of room on your paper, please get yourself a book (or another piece of paper!) and write down the texts word for word and date them. As well as times of phone calls.
I say this is harassment. What does your solicitor say? Did the letter say he was not to come to the house or that he was to not harass you?
It sounds as though you are getting along well with your new friend. Are you taking her out as your treat? Can you really afford this? Very generous of you and buy her a drink, but don't blow all your cash on a stranger please. You sound like a very giving person and some people like to take advantage of that.
Also I am presuming that you are going to sell her your euros? Don't take anything less than they are worth. Are you going to visit with all the children?
Sorry to hear about the hayfever, I bet your house is full of tissues! Your son wsa very brave having surgery on his neck poor little man, how is he this evening?
hi hun no i am taking my dawter ouit for er birthday as a treat, and givin er euros for er holiday when she goes magaluf in july, lol, yes ex txt saying oh io didnt need stitches now,he keeps saying please giv me a chance and im not being fair on kids, im not takin him on, yes wrote down tyms and dates, well letter doesnt mean anythin now, soliciter said i made a mocery of the letter as i txt him and he c um in my ousexshe wrote me a letter saying i av 2 options either she write anova letter again, or wait to c if he turns up again and then she write letter to him, police said to go down the harassment route again if i wanted, i wanted non mol order tho, soliciter said ive damaged my chances of getting 1 as he cum in my house and i txt him, feel like im goin bkwards, i mean luk how long this as bin goin on now,its june, il stil b same at exmas,want it sortin
well ex change tatics, he txt now tht if i dont try wiv him he wil take me court and the court will order me to go to mediation with him, he will take me court unless itry with him, god he wil try anythin, please tell me court cant order me to go to mediation with him i do not want to be in a room with him or b near him, please replyx
Kiera, I would say that no one can make you go to mediation. Don't be worrying about that. He is trying all sorts because you didn't respond to text about his 'accident'. He has again turned on the court thing to get you to respond to that, please don't.
hi he as left voice message saying he as bin in touch wiv the courts and put us forward for mediation where we sit in a room and talk and sort our problems out,quote his words, and he txt tht he wil txt me the date and i cant hide away and the court will order tht i have to go, please tell me the courts cant order tht, ino in my heart he talkin out his arse, doubt any court will order tht as idont want any contact with him and i certainly dont want to be in any room with himxx
i can not believe wot shit he is cumin out with, i just need to hear u saying no court can force me to sit in a room, isnt mediation where to people want to sort out their problems, cos from where im sitin there is just 1 who wants tht cos i dont
P.S.: At least it sounds like you had fun on your night out!