FMB,
I am a newly single mum of a wonderful 2 year old boy and I am 38 (SHHHH!!), Like you I have worked all my life and still am but since the ex has walked out I have had to get things like working tax credits and once I move out of the marital home I am sure I will be applying for more. I dont feel very good having to do this but for my monkey I need to. He is at nursery full time as both his dad and I work full time - now I am a single mum I am getting enough working tax credit to get his nursery fees paid for and a little bit more so it helps with bus fares. I am not in the best paid job and cant wait to leave but I will be going back to school which I am looking forward to but also very scared as this is a whole new chapter of my life which i was expecting to do with the ex but now have to do on my own...
Please keep chatting and off loading as we are all here for you....
Hi fmb. I was also an older Mum, gave birth aged 40, 8 days later I turned 41. Since he started school, I've noticed more and more older Mums. Like you, I'm always saying how skint I am. The money just goes on bills, food and C. Those not in our position don't have a clue how hard a struggle it is. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is all I ever seem to do.
Have you had a chance to look around the site yet? Please join us in the chat room, as we do have some giggles over there. 
Hi all, just had to pop in and say Hallooo to you all, welcome to One Space, I have been busy doing site refurbishments! What do you think of the purple Your Talk!!
Hopefully catch up with you on other threads
The purple is great my fav colour. X
Hi fmb
The purple is lovely Anna!
Hi Anna
Wel done on sire refurb, not keen on the purple though it is too bright compared to the blue and makes the posts difficult to read, could just be me but its making me squint. Sorry xxx
Hello, I am the first time single mum of a lovely 4 months old baby boy. I live in Bristol and would love to meet with like-minded people to create a network of close friends.
I guess I am very active. I like to go walking, sampling food in local (and no so local) delicatessens and other eateries. I enjoy international food and try to burn it off by playing tennis... (though this has somewhat gone by the way side!).
xx
Hello first time mum and welcome to One Space.
There is lots of information about what is going on near you in Your Local and also you can look at posts from parents around the country in Local Information
Do stay with us as well, though. What are you and your boy up to this weekend?
Hi there, im a newbie so not quite sure how this all works x Im 28, live in Norwich and im trying to find myself some friends as i've lost mine over the years with me being the only who has children :(
I have 2 boys, 2 and 8 years old, i dont work and am currently at home most of the time, i know when my youngest is at school i can try and do more but thats 3 years away!
I dont get to go out as i dont have any1 2 look after my children which is why i've drifted apart from my single friends x was hoping to join some groups locally but i cant seem to find any in norwich.
ive tried groups before where i used to live and it always seems like people go to them with their friends and im on my own so havent had any luck so far in making new friends x
Welcome along First time mum and needsfriends83. This is a great site, and we're all extremely friendly Needsfriends83, have you tried netmums in your area?
Hi Anna, yes I too like the purple. Tiredmum, put your glasses on, hehe.
no i haven't, will have a look x thanks x
Hi needsfriends83
Yes do have a look at Netmums and also our article Making New Friends, which is packed with hints and tips. Is there a Children's Centre near you? They often run activities for parents and under 5s
You are very welcome here at One Space and there is plenty of online support and friendly chat here too.
Hi all, I am glad the purple is working for most people, tired mum, do you have any shades? 
Sorry, that was cheeky, have a look at our Accessibility page, depending on which internet browser you use, you may be able to take the colours off.
Welcome to First time mum and needsfriends83 
First time mum, if you are Bristol we have an excellent Study Centre for single parents, you can pop in for a coffee and chat with other parents or you can do a course, it would be great to meet you!
needsfriends83, did you find anyone on netmums?
Hey needsfriends83
I am turning 28 very soon - am guessing you just had your birthday recently as my birthyear is '83 too! :)
I would suggest you try persevering with local toddler groups near you - do a search for ones in Norwich? Time constraints willing obviously but when I had my son I went to one group a day, sometimes 2 as needing to meet people was really important for me as I didn't have any network where we had moved to. And without that social interaction I don't know how I would have coped. Some groups I went to were a bit cliquey but others were so welcoming and friendly. I persevere with the one closest to me even though it does suffer heavily from cliqueness - been going a year and a half and I still don't like it! but it's still better than nothing, and I have made friends through it and through that time I've learned who's friendly and who's not worth bothering with IYKWIM.
The children's centres are great and what I've also noticed - my eldest child reaching almost 3 now, is that the people who attend change quite a lot within 6 months, there's those that get jobs, or their little big ones go off to school or nursery, or they return back to work after maternity etc. so I've found it really is just a matter of putting on a brave face and keep trying. I really couldn't cope if I stayed in our house all day!! :)
Hope you get lucky and meet some nice mums locally!!
Story time at library is also good :)
Good idea about the story time at the library JaneHope!
Hello,
I'm mizdebbie. i have two boys 15 and 11. Been a single parent for the past 11 years. i've just decided that i need to get a life and show my boys how to have one
Hi mizdebbie
hope all is well , welcome to onespace. everybody is really friendly here. The chit chat room is good to talk in and you get lots of support from people there.
I have a little 2 year old dd can not imagine her growing up to be 11 or 15.
Ah Wayne it will happen sooooo quickly 
Hello mizdebbie, you are welcome. I have brought up two boys, mostly on my own, and know the challenges! So you are saying that you would like to "get a life", what plans have you made?
Hi mizdebbie, welcome along to One space.
Hi I'm dansmam
I'm new to the site, I have been a single parent for the last 7.5yrs. I live in the North East. looking forward to chatting to you and making some new friends.
Hi dansmam,
Welcome to one space, its a great site, really friendly and lots of good advice too, quieter in the late evening but lots of peoplewill say hi to you tomorrow
Hi dansmam
You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site helpful. There is lots of friendly support and chat here so do have a look around. How old is your child?
hello, god i wish id found this site years ago. im single mum to three, d,16and j, he is 9. my princess who makes me laugh everyday is 5. three long hard years. feel like i been on a rollercoaster,and cant get off, every time think its about to stop,it starts going faster. when i think there is nothing else that could possibly happen to me wham bam . take that. But il never give in ,or up. I cant as i love my children too much too. And i owe them the best i can possibly give and be. My motto is don t look back you can t change the past. But the future you can make it better. Smile people smile back. x
hello tas
Here is a big smile for you
You are welcome here. I agree with the rollercoaster thing, sometimes you want to get off for a rest but you can't as it never stops.
I see you have joined in other threads already, that's great, look forward to getting to know you.
Hi to all,
To you new people you have found a fantastic site here and I hope you find all the information and support that I have in the 3 weeks I have been on here. They are a friendly bunch and they are also funny. I hope you will join us in the daily chat room where there is loads being said, rabbits being bathed, washing machines not working and loads more...
Dansmam, i am also in the North East but only been a single mum for 3 weeks - I work mon - fri full time but if you could give me any advice on things to do with a little one, being a single mum, I would really appreciate it. I am not sure of where to go or what to do.
Shaz x
Hi Dansmam and tas. A big friendly welcome from me too. It is a great site, as others have said. Lots of different threads, with different subjects. What are you both up too today? Look forward to chatting. Take care
hi everyone,
Not been on for ages or so it seems anyway, hope everyones well and ready for the fun of half term?? My dad is having my monsters for 2 days, im really struggling at the mo with my mental health, seeing a lady from the cmht on tuesday so hoping to get some answers to the kinda help i need. also waitin for my new antidepressants to kick in, am really snappy and moody, and then very teary the next minute :(
have a good weekend everyone
xxx
Hi dizzydora. Nice to see you again. Really pleased your Dad is going to have the children, at least you'll get 2 days break. Anti depressants can take a while to kick in, as I'm sure you know. I hope they start working for you soon, which will of course help with your symptoms. Don't forget to keep posting, if you're able and up to it, then all of us at One Space can try and help you through the tough bits. Take care. Enjoy your couple of days. Do you have plans? Take care
Hello dizzydora
That is great that you are able to have a short break. Hopefully you will get some support in place after your appointment (perhaps you will get a CPN allocated?) Anti-depressants seem to vary in the time they take to help....and it can be different from what the doctor tells you so just bear with them a while, but do not hesitate to go back to the doc if you think they are not suiting you
Hi to everyone here
dizzydora, I hope you are able to rest a bit while your Dad has your children, and are able to get some support from your appointment.
Hi All
I am Gaia, a single mum (38) for two years with 3yr old girl, J. I split up with my ex due to his abusive behaviour and moved to Sheffield for work but not knowing anyone here. My parents live in the North East, are extremely supportive but obviously far away and my ex lives down South, which has its benefits but he only sees J about once every two months so I rarely get a break. I work full-time but struggle with M.E., which I have had for 17yrs now and life can seem a bit hard. I went on netmums to find local friends when I first moved here but not found anyone in similar circumstances. Most people around me seem happily married and that does get me down. I am lonely but still have major trust issues that I can't get passed which is why I have just joined this forum to see if I can work through that. At the moment I see myself as being a single mum for many years to come. More importantly I wanted to find other mums in similar circumstances locally. Not sure this will help, but 'virtual' friends are good too !
Hi Gaia. Welcome along to One Space. You're right 'virtual' friends are not only good, but I've found them a fantastic help, as I'm sure you will too. It's a great site, full of support and advice. Well done for escaping an abusive relationship. Trust issues will of course take time, as I'm sure you know. Are the people you work with supportive, or do you not mix with them really? How about the other parents at your little girl's nursery? Are there no other single parents there? I used to know someone who has M.E, and she used to be knocked for six, so I do sympathise with you. Have you found any useful groups for it?
I hope you get to have a look around this site. There are lots of different threads, with some interesting topics. Please keep posting, as others will be along at different stages to welcome you also. What are your plans for today?
Hello Gaia and welcome to One Space.
It never ceases to amaze me that it is so hard to find other single parents when we know from stats that there are almost two million of us!
Hope that you stay with us and make use of the online support and friendship here. Have a look at this article, Making New Friends, which is full of tips about widening your social circle
What sort of work do you do?
Hello Gaia
Lovely to see you here.
Thanks for the the replies, very welcoming
I will try and make use of the site as much as possible, I will tend to have quiet spells just because I can be so busy but will check in as much as possible.
Today not done anything interesting, potty training J with some success thankfully..been a long time comin!
Work...tricky one as far as support goes. Although I took a step back when I became a single parent I still have a very demanding and relatively senior job at the Medical School. I spend most of my time at meetings and managing my team so not really struck up any significant friendships. There is one woman who I do really like and we are going out soon with her family but she is not in a similar position, again happily married, which is of course good for her .
I have made two friends through my daughters nursery, again both married. I really don't know of any single mums at the nursery, they do all seem to be in happy relationships. Sounds a bit like I want people to be as miserable as me, but thats not the case! Just miss people really understanding where I am coming from.
I do struggle with the M.E., I have mild to moderate symptoms and relapsed last January (2010) which I am still not over yet. I can spend months off work but work have been very supportive and I have managed to adapt working patterns to make relapses less likely. Having such a condition does mean that I have no life though. My life consists of looking after J, working and sleeping. I go to bed with J because that is the only way to keep going so don't have any 'me' time. That is of course another block to meeting people as often I can feel like I need to take it easy so I cancel plans. I went to a wedding of a real good male friend of mine but even though that was nearly a month ago, I am just getting over it now, and I only had one alcoholic drink.
I am a member of a local group to support sufferers but don't make meetings as J would play up and don't have anyone to look after her while I went. All of this will get easier as she grows up of course, but she is still a baba really.
On the whole I do cope. I just miss company, especially at weekends when most couples are doing things together.
Anyway, enough waffling, thanks again x
Hi Gaia
Welcome to onespace. everybody here has given me great advice since i found them 5 months ago.
I have a little 2 year old dd who keeps me busy .Hope you enjoy the site
Hi all newbies and dizzydora! Welcome! Please feel free to join in any conversation or start your own topic.
Gaia - have you heard of ScoopAid? They are one of our partner organisations and they are in Sheffield and have worked for over 30 years with lone parents.
Also have a look at Your Local and you can see what is going on in your area, you might meet other One Spacers there!
Thanks Anna
Yes I do know about ScoopAid but when I contacted them they seemed more focussed on support for lone parents such as financial, and getting back to work etc. I was told that it probably wasn't what I was looking for but this may have been incorrect advice?
Cheers
Gaia
thanks for your comments everyone, feelin very "weird" today, i was all tearful and crying yesterday, and today just feel very nervous. nt sure what abt, i know im scared abt tomorrows appt, its at the childrens centre so thats a bit more user friendly but i have no idea what is going to happen.
cnt believe its day 1 of half term and the boys are already arguing, the weathers been rubbish here today too so cnt even take them anywhere
xx
Hi dizzydora, do hope it goes well for you tomorrow, the weather here is awful too, typical of school hols isnt it xxx
I'm Wally ( Not really my real name) Ive been a single Dad for two years, Son aged 6 and daugter aged 8, I'm in a relationship but live alone in Sussex, I love being a ( Real ) Dad and consider myself blessed, it canged my whole life and I would not change it for the world, yes it's been hard work but I made it lol
Hi Wally. Good to see you here.
Hello Wally and welcome to One Space.
Nice to see you here. As you say, it changes your life. Have a look round the site and why not join us in Chat? What are your plans for half term?
Hi Gaia - I have spoken with ScoopAid and their funding is currently very tight, so yes they are mostly supporting single parents back into work at the moment, although they have a drop in on Thursdays (daytime tho). However the Chief Exec said if you wanted to consider starting your own group, she would be happy to support you, just give her a call!
Hi dizzydora, I imagine the weird feeling might have something to do with the antidepressants, do you think? Or anticipation about the meeting today? Have you been? How did it go? The weather is wet and dull here too, however, walking can give you a natural high, so what about grabbing everyones wellies, or old trainers, get on your coats and go for a walk, even if it is just around the block. It might take a lot of effort, but even if you are only out for 20 mins, you will feel better.
Hi there Wally, welcome to One Space, always good to have another Dad on board, keeps us all grounded! Do you have any plans over the half term?
hey, just been to c the lady, she was from the iapt team, nt that i really know what that means!! im gunna have some cbt, starting with easy workbooks, but it might enlighten me to why i feel like this. still have the weird feeling, feel quite numb if that makes sense. sorry if im rambling on here. the minsters are going to my dada tomoro so ill have a couple of days "me" time, well tidying up and washing. xxx
Hi dizzydora
The IAPT is a Government initiative for helping more people to access physological help and it mainly offers CBT sessions such as the ones you will be having. CBT is about how a person's core beliefs can affect their thoughts and feelings and seeks to break any unhelpful cycles. Hopefully this will give you some insight. The numb feeling is very possibly to do with the medication, stick with it and see how you feel over the next few days
Hi Wally, welcome along to One Space. I have an 8 year old son, well 8 going on 18. Is it like that with your daughter? Look forward to chatting. It's a great site, so do keep posting. Take care.
Just thought I'd say hi to everyone again, I did introduce myself but quite some time ago and have only started using the site frequently again the last couple of weeks but I intend to be more active on here, its lovely to have such a nice group of people to chat n share things with....what's everyone up to over the half term? Hope everyone has a good day.
xxxx
Hi fmb
Dont feel guilty about benefits thats what they are there for to help you. You put you daughter 1st which is the main thing.Your friends should be able to see this.
When ever you want to let of steam just type away as everyone here are here to listen