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It's not always easy making that first posting to a group, so use this topic as a first step. Introduce yourself and let us know something about you:
Are you new to One Space or have you already been involved in some of the groups?
How old is your teenager/teenagers?
Is life with them fun, difficult, a mixture, or a complete nightmare!?
Are there particular issues you would like to share?
Happy posting!
Lin
No, VIncia - 10 is really not unusual for a girl to be showing this type of behaviour. If anything, my eldest was worse when she was 10 than she is now at 12 :lol: !
Mood swings are something she is going to have to learn to cope with - and the best person to teach her is you! Reassure her that you understand totally what she is going through and that it's NORMAL for her age - I wish someone has said that me when I was about 10 - 11 because no one warned me about it and I thought I was going mad!
Do you notice any triggers to her losing it? I noticed with my girl that it was when her blood sugar level was likely to be low and we both got to know the warning signs and learnt to head things off at the pass, eg by thrusting a hot chocolate into her hands (which improved her mood no end!)
I know she'll upset you - try not to take it personally, which I know myself is a hard thing to do! Try to focus on the times when things are good between you instead - and just keep on loving her, no matter what, because she needs that unconditional love even though you might not guess it at times.
Living with teenagers can be like juggling semtex sometimes - but it can be great fun, too - after all, they can be very funny, sparky, original people going through a very exciting time in their lives - I'm enjoying being the mum of an adolescent more than I ever thought I would! Fi xx
Hi, my name is Lorna and I have three girls aged 16, 13 and 8.
I've been through the worst with my 16 year old (I hope). She was very moody and depressed but I think a lot of that had to do with the way her stepdad treated her rather than her age, although being a teenager probably didn't help. We left him four months ago and the change in her has been amazing. Now she is happy, funny, helpful and good company.
Just as my eldest turns human, my middle one turns into a teenager. She is very sensitive and finds it hard to cope with her emotions anyway. The separation, visiting her stepdad on weekends, trouble with friends at school and an acute anxiety over the cervical smear vaccine are all taking their toll on her. She doesn't want to grow up or be a teenager, she hates the changes in her body and the way hormones make her feel (confused and out of control). All in all, poor thing is having a bad time of it atm.
Thanks for introducing yourselves and sharing your experiences of your teenage (and almost teenage) children :)
Vincia - you're right, it can be hard keeping things calm when one of your children is being stroppy and angry, and it is really important that you look after yourself so that you can deal with things when they get difficult - and that also means not beating yourself up if you don't always manage to stay calm! :) Fi's advice is spot-on - definitely don't take it personally when your daughter is saying horrible things. Try not to give energy to the negative stuff, or get hooked in to it. Focus on the positive, which will always help to remind you that below all the moodyness and stroppyness she is still the same lovely child she's always been.
Fi - that's great that you were able to identify the trigger of your daughter's mood swings and so be able to support her to manage her shifts. And of course, unconditional love is the most essential ingredient of all. It sounds like you've been through the worst of it now and you can get on with enjoying the best aspects of your daughter's teenage years. I think your experience is a definite inspiration to other parents.
Lorna - your eldest daughter is evidence of what we all know, but in the midst of chaotic teenage times we often forget, that it does pass. All our teenagers grow up and beyond moodiness and stroppiness, and most manage it unscathed. It's good to be able to remind ourselves of that. Is your middle daughter due to have the cervical vaccine? Why is it causing her such anxiety? Are you anxious about it? The cervical vaccine programme only started last month so it is all very new. Perhaps you could share some of your experience of it with other parents by starting a new topic about it?
Please feel free to comment further about any of these issues or start new topics about anything you would like to discuss or get support with from others.
Hi
My name's Jude, I've only recently come across One Space, and I have 2 kids - boy 14, girl 17. I can't say I have found teenage years particularly easy. My daughter has maybe got through her worst, but has now left school and is pretty directionless and it's hard to motivate her. My son has just started going and hanging out with some boys and I know they are drinking (because he has told me - which that, at least, is a blessing, so I've been able to talk to him about alcohol). I find the whole thing of alcohol really worrying - is that just me? I try to keep it in perspective and try to trust that I've bought him up ok so he'll be sensible - but alcohol was behind a lot of what happened to my daughter, which I dont' want to go into now.
Anyway, this was supposed to be quick intro, not spilling my guts :lol: , so I'll leave it at that
J
Hi I'm new here. I am a single mum of 5 children -girls 18 and 19, boy 16, girl 10 and boy 8. Apart from about three years some time ago (failed marriage number 2) I have been a single parent for almost 16 years. Since my last divorce I have gained a degree, trained in the voluntary sector and still work there as well as having started back in paid work part time on nights.
If I thought being a single parent with three pre schoolers after husband number 1 left was difficult I have now realised it was far less frightening than being a parent of teenagers. At least I knew where the kids were and had some control over what happened to them or they were exposed to. Now there's the worry of drink and drugs and street crime ....I cant follow them everywhere they go and I know they have to grow up but it is difficult not to worry especially as my 16 year old son was assaulted a few months ago, a friend of his mugged at knife point recently etc.
Welcome Jude and cinders to the Parenting Teenagers Online Group.
Jude, thanks for sharing part of your story and although, as you say, it was a brief introduction, I hope that you will feel able to continue to contribute to the group in the various topic areas.
Cinders, I'm really pleased for you that you've managed to achieve some important things for yourself since you're second husband.
Both of you have highlighted something important to remember about being a single parent with teenagers. Regardless of the age of our children, being a single parent can be difficult, but with teenagers there is often the addition of fear and anxiety for just the reasons you both mention - exposure to drink, drugs and street crime. It must be especially scary when your own child is the victim of an assault - and I really feel for you that you have experienced that.
But you're right, cinders, we can't follow them around everywhere and we can't keep them in the house. Although an article from the Guardian back in July reported on a new child-curfew in Redruth that had been introduced during the summer holidays, everyone under 15 to be safely indoors by 9pm. The writer points out that when she was younger summer holidays were a time of freedom to stay out later, playing out in the streets, getting up to mischief and asks how young people can develop social skills and responsible citizenship by remaining indoors, probably in front of the tv set or computer.
It's a fine juggling act (which we're all mostly brilliant at) of letting go, trusting and keeping them as safe as we can. If you have worries about what your teenagers are being exposed to then please do use this group as a place to share it with others who are supportive.
My name's curlyburly - that's cos I'm curly and......well, not burly!!! I just thought it sounded good. Anyway's, I have 1 boy, he's 15. I've been a single parent since he was 6 months.......feels like forever :?
Hi everyone,
I'm Heidi, i've been raising my 12 year old daughter alone for 8 years.
HI Hiedi
Look forward to hearing more from you . :D
Hi heidiy
You have a 12 year old daughter :) The teenager years are just around the corner, or have they already started? :o
Do you feel that you have a strong, open relationship, or does it feel as if you are talking to a sulky face and in a foreign language?!!
hi ,it's my first time on this chatroom and i would like some advice on my teenager daughter. i found out a week ago that she is pregnant and i am finding it so hard to come to terms with it. I have cryed so much because i feel i must of done something wrong. I don't want her to go through the hardship and pain that i went through as a single mum myself. how can i deal with this can someone help me please.i feel she has given up her life now.I know it's wrong to look at it like that,but i just wanted here to have a better life than me.
Hi Maria
Gentle hugs, even though they're virtual, coming your way.
What a massive shock for you to deal with.
In a way, she has one advantage that you didn't - she has you.
There are so many programmes and help available now, with child care available to that education can be continued, or so she can carry on with her job.
How is she feeling?
Hello maria
I am glad that you found us. You have had a big shock but how wonderful that your daughter feels she can turn to you at this time. She will not neccessarily have as hard as time as you had: she has her mum supporting her, which is great. You did not do anything wrong, maria, these things happen and what matters now is to decide how to move forward.
How old is your daughter? There are many issues to consider, including housing and how much involvement the baby's father will have.
There is lots of help out there and let me give you some links to look at as your daughter (with your help) has some big decisions to make. See Brook here,which will help you decide whether to go ahead and also looks at other issues with your daughter and you. It may be that she will need special arrangements to complete her education. See here for details of the Care to Learn scheme. It is also worth getting in touch with your GP surgery and the Health Visitor there who may be able to give you specialist local advice.
Take a deep breath, it is understandable that you are upset as this was such a shock for you, but it will help your daughter immensely if you can be calm and down to earth at this time.
Keep posting and we will keep supporting you; you need an outlet for your emotions if you are trying to be strong for your daughter. Take care.
louise and sparklinglime, thank you so so much for your support. right now my head is all over the place. Is hard to face whats going on but it has helped to know i have found this site as i really can't talk to anyone about it as i feel i will be judged .
hi sparklinglime, my daughter is happy to be a mum and she is more positive than i am. i wish i could be as positive as she is, but i guess i am just so worried about her.i don't want her to get hurt. thanks for asking
Hi maria
Sorry you feel judged by some people, that is bad and not what you need right now! You will not be judged here, just supported and helped along the way.
This might sound corny - and I don't mean it too... In a way it is something that you have times to come to terms with and prepare for.
It is good that your daughter is feeling so positive - which in the long term may help you.
My Mother was blazing when I got pregnant (I was almost 29 and had been married for seven years!), and it did take a bit of time for her to come around to the idea. She had doube the shock as my sister - who was 39, almost 40, had a baby around the same time. My Mother would brag about how clever her daughter's were NOT having children.
However, she did adjust and did loads of knitting. She was also furious when I had my daughter and it she was four months old before Mum spoke to me!
I hope that's made you smile...
Loads of hugs, and please let us know how things go.
My very best wishes.
I am so glad i found this chatroom.reading some of the problems some parents face ,it has made me look at my issues in a different light.is nice people like you sparkinglime that listen and have time to engage and give advise that makes a differents. yes your last comment made my smile. Mothers hay who'd have them . i haven't heard from my daughter for about 2 weeks as i wasn't very understanding to her last time we spoke. i can't get hold of her, but when she does call ,i will mend my ways and look to give her support instead of getting upset.
Hi maria, I hope you get to speak to your daughter soon. She probably needs a bit of time to get her head around everything too. I'm sure you will give her all the support that she needs.
x
Awww. I hope you hear from her soon Maria, and can talk things through with her.
My very best wishes
hi everyone, i thought i would update you of how things are going for my daughter and myself. i have come round the idea of becoming a gran .i am on the phone to my daughter most everyday giving her support and advice. but not everything as gone well for her. she had a bit of a clash with a mid-wife which resulted this mid-wife to get social services involved. we had a main meeting yesterday with all the authority figures exercising their power and saying that the unborn child is at risk due to my daughters age and past. i feel she is pre-judged and they are trying to find anything on her to make things worse. on the report which they did not show us until yes, there was inaccurate information about her.when questioned about this they cd not anwser. i feel they are basing their opinion and not facts.they are saying that the chid is under 'protection plan' because my daughter miss one or two natal appointements.so she is neglecting the childs needs. i thougth that unless there was evidence that a child has been harmed or at risk of harm then your not guilty. but it hasn't been the case. i have proved to them that they make things up and i feel that is unfair to put all this presure and stress on my daughter ,when this should be the happiest time of her life. she said to me that she was looking foward to being a mum, but now she doesnt want to give birth because she is frighten that they will take the baby away from her as that is what one of the sw said to her. Please if anyone knows if we got any rights as we feel ,we really don't need this hassle in our lifes. my daughter has a partner and family suppot.do we have to do everything they say.please help
Hi maria
I am sorry to hear that things are difficult for your daughter. Social workers and healthcare workers have very serious responsibilities towards children and unborn babies and this has been highlighted by some recent cases in the news, such as Baby P.
I have a couple of suggestions: one is to try to work with Social Services, in other words to have a meeting with them, perhaps with both of you there and for your daughter to ask the direct question: "what is it you are wanting to see from me?" For example they might say that she must attend ante natal appointments without fail, and parenting education and that she neends to show them she is preparing a settled and safe environment for the baby to live in.......I am just plucking phrases out of the air here but it would be helpful for you to know just exactly what it required.
Secondly, legal advice. If she is on benefits then she should be able to get some Legal Aid towards the cost of advice (but you need to check this). Find a local solicitor by looking here. Also, have a look at this website, but just a word of warning: some advertisers have placed links on it which say "free legal advice", what they mean is a free initial phone call and then you get referred to a solicitor anyway, which will be charged. I suggest you look at the website itself and the menu bar in brown at the top.
Hi
I can only support what Louise says with working with the social services. While it may seem like hassle at the moment while they do sort out their assessments and hear what they have to say.
Your daughter needs to be looking at this in a positive way, I feel, as if she's being short with them, it may not help (sorry, I can't think of anyway to say that nicely).
Hope you're keeping ok.
Hi maria, it is good to hear that you and your daughter have reconciled your differences and you are growing closer due to her having a baby.
There is an organisation called the Family Rights Group, who provides independent and confidential advice and support to families whose children are involved with childrens social care. Their phone number is 020 7923 2628
Platform 51 supports girls and women take control of their lives, have a look at their website and you might like to direct your daughter to it, they can offer support and information for pregnant teenagers and young mums and may be able to give you valuable advice regarding this situation.
When is your grandchild due?
thank you all for your advice and support. i will pass this information to my daughter. I think the baby is due in a few weeks. we have got a meeting soon with the social workers so i hope to find out what they want her to do.
Hi maria. Really pleased that you and your daughter are now ok with each other. She has your full support which is brilliant. I hope everything goes ok with the social workers at your next meeting. Good luck for the birth too.
Hi, my name is Nicola and I'm 37. I'm a single mother and have a son aged 12. I have been on my own more or less since my son was born. There have been lots of ups and downs on the way but we're surviving! I'm looking to chat and hopefully make friends with other single parents in the Lancs area. I am unemployed at the moment as I was made redundant 10 months ago. I have had a 3 month temp job since but am now out of work again. I am doing an IT course through Learn Direct which I really enjoy and I am actively looking for work. Hoping to chat to people who maybe have children similar age as I'm finding my son really difficult at the moment. He has recently stopped contact with his father which was his own choice but his attitude to me is just appalling. He talks to me as though I'm dirt (not always but I would say 70% of the time it is like living in a war zone). He is in his first year at high school and has just been in trouble for winding up older boys by being cheeky. He enjoys football and I am constantly trying to persuade him to try other things as well so that he has some hobbies rather than just staying at home on his xbox but he just says I'm nagging! Does anyone have similar issues? Is it teen strops starting early? x
Hello Nicola37
Great to see you here; welcome to One Space.
There are a few of us on here with teenagers (we're ones with the white hair and the expressions of pure terror, lol) It does sound like your son has started the precarious journey through teen years. It is hard work but you can survive!
Have a look at our Teenage section, which will give you some ideas and, hopefully, inspiration. Also I have a fab book I can recommend; click here to see it.
As children grow up, one of the things we can do with them is to show them that the world involves give and take. Their instinct is take, take, take.We need to show them that to get the things THEY want, there needs to be some effort on their part too. The Teenage section has some information on Family Contracts, which I think is a useful tool. Have a read and then tell us what you think:maybe after that we can look specifically at what is going on for you and your boy.
Whay did he want to stop seeing his dad?
Hi Nicola
I have three teenagers (and an almost 12 year old).
I have taken to hiding the PS console until they do what ever they're told to do. When it's done, they get it back.
One thing I have learnt here (from One Space) is you can't do xxxx until xxx is done.
They sulk and shout, but amazingly it can work.
My now 15 year old though has special needs, so doesn't quite work the same, even though I hope I treat him as I do the others.
Good to see you here.
Hi Nicola. Welcome along. My son is only 8, so I've got all of this to come 
Sorry you're having some trouble with him. Is it more so since he started High School? My friend told me her son's attitude changed once he'd left Juniors. Could it all be connected with the new school and his not wanting to see his Dad anymore? Please keep posting as others here have probably experienced what you're going through, and will be able to help. Look forward to 'chatting'.
Hi, when I did incredible years we talked about this sort of thing, it was suggested that you should set aside twenty minuets a day and spend time with your child doing what ever it is they want to do, chat, play a game, read, walk, what ever. Not get into an argument and listen to what ever it is they have to say, if anything.
I've not gotten there with mine yet, they are only six and eight and I don't suppose it will be as simple and hassle free as it was in the little vignette I watched in the incredible years.
Another thing was house rules, set up house rules and let them get involved in making them.
Here is an interesting article : ) don't know if it might help or if it applies to how you feel in your situation.
Later : )
Hi Everyone
Thank you for all your comments. It's really nice to hear opinions from other parents. Louise, I'm definitely gonna try the Family Contract. He does a few chores now for spending money but it's a really loose arrangement and he never does all of them. The situation with his dad has always been problematic. He's aggressive and unreasonable. We split years ago and in the end a court order was made setting out contact, after lots of problems where I had to involve the police more than once. things then calmed down and he has been married twice since and has several more children. He's quite cold to my son though and he is very much of the opinion that boys should be tough and he has never hugged or kissed him or told him that he loves him. On and off over the years my son has said he hasn;t wanted to see him and I've either forced him to go or made excuses for him not to but more recently he became increasingly unhappy about going saying that his dad hardly speaks to him and is just glued to his computer all weekend. He usually just played with all his brothers and sisters. He was upset though as his dad hits the children a lot especially the youngest boy who is 2, he said he hits him across the head quite a lot which really upsets and frightens my son. I decided in the end that at the age of 12 he is old enough to make the decision to stop contact so that is what we did 2 months ago. He misses his half brothers and sisters but is happy not to see his dad. This could be causing some of his anger though.
Hi again Nicola 37
He is probably actually angry at his dad but not only is his dad not on hand to take it out of, but also he would not dare show that extent of emotion. He knows, however, that you will love him whatever, but has to prove it to himself over and over by being bad to see what happens.
That does not mean you have to be a pushover just to reassure him, don't worry! There are lots of good suggestions from other members and these can be tied into the Family Contract. The book I suggested to you has a particularly good chapter on how we allow teens to "hook" us into an argument. My son is particularly good at turnig any attempt at positive discipline on my part into "You don't trust me, well...thanks very much!" (he is 16)
I am very conncerned that your son reports his father hitting the other children. Whilst smacking as such is not illegal in England, physical abuse is not acceptable under any circumstances. Could you try and find out a bit more about the extent of the problem from your son, as it might be something where a Social Services visit is needed. Sounds as if it is a good thing that your son is not seeing him at the moment!
Thanks Louise, your comments are helping. All my son told me is that he smacks the children across the head. He also said that his wife is always telling him not to do it but apparently he still does. He did hit my son across the head about 18 months ago and I know I should have done something then. I considered approaching social services myself but I'll be honest I am sure my ex would know that I was behind it and I am worried about the repurcussions as I feel I have enough of my own problems at the moment - I know that may sound selfish. Some of my problems I think are down to my own depression due to unemployment and lack of friends and family. I am trying to take positive steps but sometimes it's all overwhelming. It's reassuring to be on here though and realise a lot of other single parents endure loneliness and problems with teens and exes! x
Yes we do, and we all help each other 
I understand why you felt reluctant to involve Social Services after having escaped a load of aggression yourself. In truth though, something may need to be done about his behaviour. I am going to have a chat with my fellow Moderator and see what we think may be a good way forward on that one, OK?
So it sounds as if you are feeling really isolated at the moment. I know the jobs market is really bleak right now with very few opportunities available, especially when you have your son to consider. Is there any possibility of voluntary work? An evening class? Have a look at our article Making new friends which gives you a host of ideas. The thing is that the ideas in the article and also in the Family Contracts info I gave you, need you to be energised enough to do them!!!! Have you had a chat with your GP about the way you are feeling? just so they can check you over.
Have you managed to get any quiet time to yourself today?
I'm thinking about volunteering at the Citizens Advice Bureau as I was going to do this a few months ago but then I found a temp job and wouldn't have had time. At least I'll be mixing with adults if I do that! I saw my GP a couple of months ago and he prescribed an antidepressant but I only took it for two days cos it made me physically ill and I haven't been back, I'm trying St John's Wort at the moment. I'll be honest, I've been back to bed this afternoon whilst my son was playing out as I just can't seem to get motivated. I must sound really lazy but honestly I didn't used to be like this! I just need a kick up the backside I think, lol x
Well if the St John's Wort don't work then it is worth going back to the GP and saying those pills made me sick, there are lots of different types they can give you.
Don't blame you having a nap, I can often do that, given half the chance 
My 'aunty' (she and my uncle were my Mum and Dad's best friends) has volunteered with CAB for a number of years now and loves it. She has done loads of training with them too - she's in her 70s now! She's having a break at the mo, as my uncle has lost his sight just before Christmas...
Hi Nicola 37
I was made redundant in November last year after working 7 years in publishing company.I was shocked to start with as it was nr xmas and i really wasn't sure what i was going to do. I still haven't found employment ,but i am trying to stay positive because my daughter needs me right now.My kids didn't have much communication with their dad when they were growing up. I had lots of problems with my daughter as it affected her so much not having a father around as much as she would of liked.But it was my son that i was concern as he didn't show his feeling to me. I got him to join the army cadets hoping he might open up a bit, and a way for him to have male role models in his life. Maybe your son could benefit from joining something like that,it could help him use his energy in other ways.
Thank you Hazeleyes. It is nice that my daughter and i have got each other and i know she will make a great mum. Not sure if i got use to the word gran yet haha
Morning everyone
Thanks Sparkilinelime and Maria. I'm definitely going to contact CAB this week about volunteering.
It's really good that your son is in the Army Cadets Maria. I think my son would enjoy things like that if he would try them. He plays for a local footie team but I'm constantly trying to encourage him to try out other things but he refuses. I think it is a confidence thing and he just says I'm nagging and it ends up in another row! How are you finding the job hunting?
Hi Nicola37, have you ever been to the Freedom Programme, it is an excellent course for survivors of an abusive relationship. You would meet new people and learn more about the effects of what your son may have seen, has on him.
I absolutely agree with making the effort to spend half an hour a day with your son, just being there, not asking leading questions, just hanging out, watching him play computer etc, just showing him that you want to be around him. This works wonders for me and my 16yr old.
Your son may be feeling cross that his dad didn't fight for him, he might feel neglected and not worthy, but he needs tells you that, discipline and boundaries still need to be firm, it will make him feel secure.
Would you consider doing a parenting programme? another great way to meet new people, whilst picking up new tricks and techniques!
Hi maria, your grandchild is due very soon, I didn't realise! how exciting, please keep us updated!
Bubblegum, absolutely FAB article, really brilliant, well found! The author is an amazing woman.
Hi Anna
Thanks for the comments. I do agree that my son is upset that his dad hasn't even been in touch. I think he's relieved that he didn't get angry but some reaction would have been nice - he didn't even make any contact over xmas. I will definitely try spending time with him but sometimes when i suggest hanging out together, ie, playing a board game or going for a walk he tends to just say no. He does like it if I sit and watch when he is on his xbox though! I would definitely consider a parenting programme. I do feel as though I'm failing him at the moment but everything I say and do is just met with hostility some days. Is your 16 year old a boy? How have the past few years been? Do you have other children as well?
Louise - Thanks for all your comments and advice. I've just ordered the book you recommended and am looking forward to reading it!
Hi again Nicola37
I have noticed that teen boys seem to think it will be fun for us to "watch" them play on their X-Box. I do not like doing this!!! but I do it anyway then I can take an interest in the game and ask a question or even sometimes we develop a catchphrase between us to do with the game.
The book is a really good read and light hearted and practical too
My son who is only eight is for ever getting me to go to his room and see what he's doing in his games, what his character is wearing, doing. He's comes down quite regularly to my room and demonstrates the moves his characters are doing, waving imaginary swords and bows about and showing me how the 'baddies' die, which generally involves some sort of flailing about type dance that ends with him jumping onto the bed and falling over.
He goes on and on, all day, I asked one of his school friends if he talks about dungeons and dragons at school and the friend rolled his eyes and sighed and said... yes.
Yesterday at Sunday dinner with my sister, there was a new house rule introduced.. no talking about computer games at the dinner table, it is that 'bad'
And I like games.
I have only my self to blame though as he's grown up peering over my shoulder watching me play computer games.
I just have to keep reminding myself, through gritted teeth, what was said in my parenting classes about always showing interest in what they do and encouraging them, sometimes it's hard, when he comes down to my room so many times I can't count and shows me yet more death throws of Orcs and Goblins.
: )
Hi Nicola37, I have one daughter.
We have had some really tough times over most of her life actually!! (Don't we all?!)
Does your son have a mobile phone? My daughters father was texting her some really weird stuff and she was behaving really up, down and all over the place, until she finally showed me some of the texts.
With her consent I got her another SIM card and was amazed how much life has calmed down for her, emotionally and mentally, she actually is beginning to behave like a normal 16 yr old! She could actually start being herself rather than worrying, feeling fearful and insecure and start to like herself. Abusive men have a habit of transferring their nastiness onto their children once they realise they can no longer manipulate the mum.
It is great to read that your son likes you to watch him play xbox games. The point of the 'special time' is to play along with them. Going for a walk or playing a game is asking them to play along in our world, rather than us absorbing ourselves into theirs. Have a read of our article Special Time.
It can take practice, but it works wonders! Let us know how it goes
hi Anna,
yes is not long now, i got to admit i am getting a bit excited.walked in to mothercare for the very first time after 20 years. It was like a another world.They haven't decided on a name yet so any ideas would be welcomed. They are having a girl.
hi Nicola37,
is good that you are keeping busy by volunteering at CAB. I still try to get up no later than 7.30 to stay in the habit of working hours . I try to keep busy by offering to type official letters for neighbours who don't have a computer.or research things for them. but it would be nice to be back in work.
Hi all
Just thought I would let you know that after a terrible day yesterday my son and I made a Family Contract last night (after things had calmed down). My list included things like drying the dishes and not swearing or telling me to shut up. His list included things like me watching him on his xbox and "buying better cereal such as Crunchy Nut Cornflakes!" Think I can manage that, lol. I'll let you know how it goes and I'd be interested to hear how other people have got on with the Family Contract.
Nicola x
Hi, my name is Vincia.
I have three children, but my eldest is 10 going on 20!! To me this seems an earlry age to be having the type of moody,storpy, hormanal fuelled rages!! But I have been told this is not unusual. I'm not to sur about that! Life can be quite hard trying to keep things calm for everyone as well as me!! I do get very upset sometimes with the things that are said by my daughter, any tips?!!!!! :(