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just catching up with your thread - how horrible for you - I really would ignore all his texts and just delete them when the come in - try and stay strong - you deserve better than this - if you ignore him he will hopefully get bored
Hi LRH
I have tried ignoring him but he just continues, we have to stay in contact for the girls and finances still aren't sorted yet. We have a lot of debt to try and sort. It always leads to him apologising and feeling sorry for himself and expecting me to feel sorry for him. I just hurt so much and this is so hard :( x
I understand because 8 months later I am still going through it - I asked my ex not to text me unless it was an emergency and now we contact each other through emails - could you try this?
Emails are less instant and what i do is I always send the reply to myself and re-read it then send it to him when I am happy with it
My emails are instant on my phone so wouldn't make a difference really. I'm sure once he realises I am serious about this he will lay off a bit but the mind games really do make things difficult :(
Yes they do, A1ana. Stay strong. In the end he will get the message.
hi hun how r u, my ex same he as constantly harrased me for 6 half weeks, he even said he put us both forward for mediation even tho i av finished wiv him, he said he ad spoke to the courts, i dont believe him, he is desperate for me to respond,will u ever get bk wiv him hunxx
in that case i would ask him not to email unless its urgent/about the kids
or get a different email address just for him and just have it going to your computer and not your phone -even better
Hi A1ana, it is soo hard isn't it, although painful you are doing a great job. Really try to have as little contact as possible, you are so right, you need time to grieve and deal with this.
He knows that these apologies have worked before, so he will pull all the stops out this time, especially if he can see that you really mean it this time. He will tell you everything that you want to hear, but it is remembering that they are all lies and if they are not, then actions speak louder than words.
Have you contacted any support service in your local area yet?
Hi Girls,
This is hard, it has been the worst weekend 
He is now begging me to take him back and I am using every bit of strength I have to tell him no because I know I can't forgive him for what he has done. He is not taking it very well and I am just hoping and praying I am doing the right thing for me and the girls. The future is a scary thought without him but maybe thats because he is all I have known since i was 18. I am very nervous of what comes next as a single person and a single parent. I just hope I dont have to leave my home x
Hi A1ana
Whatever is ahead you will deal with it and I hope you are inspired by the stories of other parents on here.
You say you are hoping you are doing the right thing...well, your last split with him, which invlvved him begging you to take him back ended up in hm sleeping wth someone else within a very short time, so I think there you have your answer. Taking him back would give him the message that that is acceptable and of course it is not.
Take care of yourself through thi process...because it is a process and it will get better, given time, although I so know it does not feel like it at the moment. We are here for you.
Hi A1ana,
...for a split second, I thought I was reading my own thread....known him since I was 18,...hope I'm doing the right thing for me and my girls...the future is scary...he is all I have known...That was me; where I was 8 months ago....it has been a long process. And it is still on-going. But it gets a little bit easier. And everyone here has been saying pretty much the same thing to me....stay strong! Do look after yourself. It is damn scary; but gather 'round you friends/family whom you can rely on...as Louise says, One Space folks are behind you.
Hi btw, good to have you in the One Space Community A1ana. Take care.
Phoenix
Thanks for the suppport, it means a lot. I do have a couple of good friends, the rest are aquaintances who are only interested in the gossip and I am starting to learn the difference but I have learned some hard lessons over the past few weeks about friendship. I have had a couple of good days now so thats progress for me. He is still hounding me with texts, I get the impression he is lonely as he has no friends really and I was his life. I find it really hard to have any sympathy for him after what he has done. I'm not a nasty person though and can't just ignore him. This is my first night on my own and I'm slightly nervous, I have had visitors every night for the last 3 weeks so this is time to try and enjoy my own company, never really been very good at it but I'll have to get used to it I guess :( xx
hi hun how r u , u seem to be doing great, my ex bin harassing me 6 weeks and now cos ive not responded he now takin me court over our dawter, he ad nerve to say i no longer wish to b in a realtionship with me anymore and thts why she wont let me av any cobtact with m,y dawter, lol joke, over way round more like, ive all evidence of 6 weeks harassment ,think he as for got bout all thtxx
Hi A1ana, I hope that you make the effort to enjoy this evening 
I know that it can be nerve wracking, but just lock your front door. Unplug the phone, have a bubble bath, put on your favourite item of clothing that you wouldn't be seen dead in out in public (c'mon, you know you have something like that!) and watch a film, or turn on some music and have a dance.
This is the first day of the rest of your life and you can get through this, you are at the beginning of a new journey, but this time you are in the driving seat, (with us all in the back!! 
)
If you can really try and ignore any future texts, it isn't helpful and you are vulnerable right now. He made his bed and he needs to lie in it - you deserve better than this. You also need to be aware that he knows that you are not a nasty person, so will try and use this to his advantage. Ignoring him isn't being nasty, it is loving and looking after yourself - and YOU do come first, not him.
Hi
Well I wouldn't say I enjoyed my first night alone but I got through it and it wasn't as bad as I thought so thats progress. I didn't sleep very well though, that day and how I found out still messes with my head unfortunately, wish it would go away
It really is something you can learn to do, A1ana, and make friends with yourself once more now that this emotional abuse has abated and you can start the long road to recovery. It's important to look after yourself right now, rest when you can and eat something, even if it is a piece of toast or a banana.
Hello A1ana, was wondering how you are getting on and whether things are feeling more settled?
Hello all,
Im in my 30 somthings and have two children one 3 and a 12 year old. i was with my paartner for over 13 years, and i have recently told him to leave our family home. After such a long time of feeling low about myself and being told that no one would ever want me and that i was lucky he had stayed with me, it has really drained my confidance. I started feeling like i was no one. If i ever had an issue with the way he treated me or spoke to me, he would end up calling me every name under the sun. any way one day he done something that could of put one of my children at arms way, and when i confronted him he went off the rails and really shook me up. I really did think he would of hit me. But enough was enough i told him to get out and that if he did'nt go i would take the kids and i would
But i feel so proud of myself for making him leave, i hav'nt cried and im not siting by the phone hopeing he would call, im at work enjoying my job. But in the back of my mind im feeling slightly scared.
I have these thoughts sometimes saying to me what if iam all thoes things he called me, what if i was luckey he stayed with me all them years. and worse yet what if iam ugly and stupied and no other man would ever want me and it scares me to death.
Please help i need someone to tell me im not going mad.
I dont want to be with him and i no that now, its just the emotional abuse he has put in my mind has stuck and i dont know how to shake it of,
When it comes to others i always tell people to be positive but in my own situation i dont have a clue.
you are not going mad and you have been through a lot - welcome to the boards - you can start your own thread and others can get to know you and your story and offer help and advice - stay strong and keep posting - we are here for you
Hi Aries-26,
As lrh said, welcome to One Space. Well done for taking the positive action of freeing yourself & your children from such a difficult situation & after such a lengthy period of being with your ex partner.
13 years is a long time out of anybody's life, so I'm not surprised that the things your ex said are stuck in your head. It sounds as though your self confidence may well be at an all time low, despite the incredible thing you've just done. Why not have look here at our self esteem pages?
With the best of wishes,
Mary
Hi Aries-26
Just to add that you might like to look at The Freedom Programme online, which is a free course that helps people move forward from abusive relationships
I slept ok last night, hopefully today will be a better day. I just wish he would stop texing, no amount of apologies will take away what he has done and he is just making this so much harder :( x