Anna the answer to that is ... the pub!! hehehe
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Ha ha :lol:
I am not even going to start imagining what that could be like, you might not see me again!
Stoppit, you know life is best, right as it is now :?
Definitely :D
All in good time....... my daughter is now 14 and a half and I am really beginning to get a bit of my life back, now she can walk to friends for sleepovers and not return home til 6 the following evening, its marvellous!! So only 10 years or so to go!! God that sounds long, but I promise you it will fly by! It sounds as though you are really making the most of your boy so missing those odd adult nights out is all worth it.
Although it is important to have those evenings, not so that you can get hammered, but to feel like an free woman, rather than someone's mum!
......and there are lots of lovely times to come in those years, me and the boy :) Now that my youngest is almost 15, I look back and wonder where the time went and also would like to step back in time for a day and have a little cuddly dude again (just for a day; I would be too knackered otherwise!)
Don't base your view of how things should be on
general 'norm' you see in everyday tv / movies and adverts
Because that isn't how life is, or should be, in fact it is generally one big lie.
Google "life imitating art"
If you are not happy in a situation then you have to look at it and make a decision, and not one based on popular culture. I think you have already realised you are not happy and if you can't communicate your worries with your partner or if he isn't willing to talk about it, then to me it's time to move on. You are better of on your own anyway, but if you must be in a relationship then don't settle for second best or anything other than what you need or want or what ever, as in don't settle for second best, as they say.
That's my view anyway : )
If it isn't making you happy then................
Thanks Bubblegum :) I think i know what i need to do :?
Yes thanx for listening because I AM an expert on relationships : )
err.. ok one miniuit, err umm uur, maybe not.. (cheesy grin)
:D
I think louise got it right with
If it isn't making you happy then................
: )
Hiya me and the boy
Its hard, but you do sound like you know what you need to do. If he has been around since your son was young, you may feel that you would be letting your son down? That's me speculating here...however you and your son are for life, he may well see a few boyfriends come and go in your life, but he is your number one priority and parenting alone is hard work and if anyone else is going to get a look in they should be giving you the support, caring and friendly ear that you want.
We are all here for you and back you all the way. :)
I miss going out too, I'm afraid (I'm not being encouraging at all this evening, sorry), and the pc has become my social world.
So bored this evening, I've been watching RAF Valley rescues on youtube (I live in North Wales). Been driven back to sorting out stuff for Scouts now.
Anna and Louise have really good links to give.
Are there summer activities going on? There's not much other than swimming here, but they do tend to have loads going on in the Libraries. Just some thought as it could be a change of scenery.
I'm terrible, always been on my own with the childen, even when I was married, but I just take the plunge and talk to people who are close by. Some ignore/d me some would/will talk with me. It would break the monotony of child speak!
I keep "popping" on here - sad, I know :D as do a number of others, so while it might not be physical, we are here to support you...
I really hope you're doing ok.
I think weekends are the absolute worst for this. Not only is there the feeling of loneliness BUT also there is a feeling that everyone else is doing exciting things. Of course, they aren't, and many people are in really horrible relationships and would rather be on their own, but that is not always apparent. I will give you some ideas for the Bristol area in a minute, greengoddess but I wanted to discuss this in general for all of us first.
One reason I think it is so hard is that as single parents we naturally make our children the centre of our world....which means that we engage in meandering conversations about Pokemon, High school Musical etc.....and when they go to bed although it is a relief to get peace and quiet, there is nothing else to look forward to. I know that one school of thought suggests you have a list of treats you can select from, and I would agree with this, although so many of the things that I would like as a treat do cost money so that limits the treats to things like a luxury bubble bath or listen to your favourite music, all of which are lovely but not really time-consuming enough to occupy a whole evening.
What is needed here is OTHER PEOPLE. Of course we have our cyber friends and I would definitely encourage that, but now I am talking personal contact. I guess one way to look at it is as a plan of campaign. Think about the question "what do I REALLY want?" Now, the answer could be a number of things, it could be "One or more friends that I can socialise with", it could be "A reliable babysitter so I can go out or go and do my existing/new hobby ", it could be "I want to meet other single parents". Whatever it is, it is not going to happen overnight. The next stage is to think about the stages to be gone through to achieve that objective. For example if the objective was "I want to meet other single parents", then take a big piece of paper and brainstorm all the possible ways of achieving this, however ridiculous. In this instance, these could include: talk to my health visitor, see if there are any social clubs advertised in the local press, go to EVERY free-type event in the holidays I see publicised and FORCE myself to speak to a minimum of two new people at each event, join anything going such as Neighbourhood Watch, hold a social event at your house to which all the parents at nursery are invited, think about whether there is a community that surrounds your local church, go to the Toy Library and stay and play a while to see who else turns up, get in touch with your local Volunteer Bureau to see if there are any organisations in your area that want some help, advertise your services on a card in the Post Office window (no, not those sort!!!, say cake-making or dog-walking. You can earn £20 a week without it affecting Income Support). You could organise a local treasure hunt and advertise it (proceeds to charity).
This list is not exhaustive but it is exhausTING. That is to say that it WILL take a lot of time and effort and some of the time you may think gosh what am I doing this for? And there will be lots of things you try which turn out not to be for you. But if you want to achieve your objective then you will in the end. Or, on the other hand you could decide that’s not for you at all and decide that you prefer your quiet nights in. It’s totally up to you.
Anyway here are some local links for the Bristol area for you, greengoddess. Please note that some of these are merely found on the Net (and I can’t personally recommend things and neither can One Space) so you should always approach ANY new venture with caution...but there is a big communal Neighbourhood lunch in Bristol today, as you will see below:
http://www.netmums.com/home/add_site/bristol/
http://www.familiesonline.co.uk/article/articleview/3632/1/217/
http://bristol.gumtree.com/bristol/06/39203806.htmlhttp://
http://www.singlewithkids.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=7749.0
Hope this has helped, and helped others in terms of general information.
oh..I'm so bored & lonely too! :cry: ( sorry I'm no help).
Snap.
Usually, I'm ok. Just not at the mo!!
Immersing myself in Scout stuff in the hope it will occupy me...
Hope you're weekend is going at least ok. :)
Hi greengoddess,
Lucky for you there is a fantastic single parent community in Bristol at SPAN, follow the link below to get immersed with other single parents with all sorts of learning, pampering too!
http://www.spanuk.org.uk/index.php?page=study-centre
Sparklinglime and paulasgems - Buck up!! :lol: Ha ha, sorry I just had to write that! :lol: It is from Jackie Flemming, a feminist cartoonist, who makes the joke when a parent writes a Dear Deidre type letter to ask what she should do as she is feeling blue after child birth and feels she is not handling the housework, her husbands demands, delicious meals and entertaining particularly well! the response was "Buck up"!!
Louise has given some great ideas in her post, have a look at this too:
http://www.netmums.com/homelife/Making_Mums_Happy_Programme.372/
I used to feel that weekends are the hardest, but all it took was to find one other single parent who was in a similar position as me and our children were the same age and we filled each others weekends with all sorts of wild and crazy things! I know it is easier said than done, but I do believe there are an awful lot of people out there who are looking for the same thing as you.
Good luck and keep in touch, let us know if any of those sites were any good for anyone.
Oh Anna :lol: "Buck up!" I hope she didn't mean it as rhyming slang? :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :shock: It works either way, doesn't it!! :lol: Only you could think of that!!
:oops:
:lol: Now now, don't go all shy and embarrassed on me lOUISE!! Ooops, just hit the caps lock button. I hope you are having a good day?
Hi Anna yes thanks, apart from waiting for the bill for the car......again :shock:
vickstick34 - that sounds brilliant! I have been to bingo and would love to go again, but it clashes with scouts! :roll: I should text my friend and see if I can fit it in at some point.
My daughter wants to go and see Harry P. I get stressed just thinking about it with my silly leg, but she says she can get me out the cinema if it does 'lock' :shock: I'm thinking about it...
Have a good time
OOH Bingo! Hope you enjoyed it!
I'm bored and stuck in the house as my son has (you'd think) a life threatening case of man flu, I tried going out yesterday with him but he literally whinged and moaned for four hours, so I thought rather than go out today and risk committing infanticide, I'm stuck her in the house making lemon and honey drinks for him every time he wakes up.
I'm not the most sympathetic of people when it comes to people being ill, my mum used to say, do you need an ambulance? no? well get on with it then and do it quietly, or words to that effect anyway. Mind you she was sympathetic once when I was about 14 and dying from a broken heart, but that's about it.
later : )
Oh heck! And such a lovely day too.
I hope he feels so much better next time he wakes up.
Good morning Bubblegum
Hope he feels better (so that you can feel better!)
Anna the answer to that is ... the pub!! hehehe