when will i feel human again?

zane26

Realised i have not been on to reply to all the post u were kind enough to leave for me houw bad is that :oops: well here i go now batter late than never huh

Pansy wrote:

Hi Zane!
It all sounds great, so nice that kids can have a room to themselves that is all theirs too. I always wanted that for mine when they were smaller. Really sorry to hear son not well with swine flu, I can understand what an awful worry that must be.
Have you had any more trouble with youe ex since he came in your house? hope not!

well have fun making your new home lovely.
nice to hear from you.
Pansy

Thanks pansy, no ex not been back since we moved told him we were and he said it not his concern so i had to give addy to his mum, nice huh

Anna wrote:

Hi zane26
I feel quite excited about your house, 3 front rooms!! Wow!

One hour walk to the park - double wow! Either you are going to be incredibly fit, as will your children, or their lounge could be made into one of those indoor kiddy monkey bar places!!

Enjoy this time, it will be nice when it is all completed, but this is the journey and you are probably clearing a lot of stuff in your head too.

Hope your son is feeling better. :)

Cheers anna, kids love their room we painted plant pots on the walls and used our hands for the plants and petals looks very goos and the kids loved making a mess with the paint :lol: The walk to the park is good dogs, enjoy it hoping i'll be super fit next year

Posted on: August 30, 2009 - 6:42pm

zane26

sadsy wrote:

zane26!
you are one person decorating team! I have missed your strength.

Have you received court order for custody, or is it just a threat?

Do you qualify for legal aid?

Has he made any specific allegations. Is there any evidence to support his claims?
How can he be discredited as reliable parent?

Grrrr. I get cross. :(

Big huuug for you zane26.

Really nice to hear from you again.
sy

Oh sy feel like i not chatted with you for ages :( How are you? Still leading the campaign to save all the quorns? :lol: I'm not a one person decorating i just hate to pay people to do what i can do myself, but don't think i don't see what your doing trying to flatter me so i'll decorate your house :lol: well sorry to say i'm not sure you could afford all the eclairs to pay me
We have a court date for next year not sure what it entails and i have a solicitor who has always been with the family, not sure i will be able to pay him like
Take care Gemma xx

Posted on: August 30, 2009 - 6:47pm

zane26

Louise wrote:

Hi zane26

Glad you have made such wonderful progress on the house :D

It could be that the children's father is trying to frighten you. Don't let him succeed. How do you feel about writing a letter to him saying that you would like the two of you to work out a plan for the children including what time they will spend with each of you. You could ask if he would go to Family Mediation with you. Keep a copy of the letter and any reply. If there is a court case in the end, this will show that you are not trying to stop him having a relationship with the children and also that you are being reasonable and suggesting mediation....hardly the actions of a "bad mother"!

Hi Louise
Not sure he's trying to scare me more like trying to hurt me by taking them. But he hasn't seen them since he left so that won't look good. Plus in regards to my sons condition he has no idea what it entails and he could not name the foods he cannot eat so that must look good for me. Not sure he would even open a letter from me, but might be worth a try thanks.

Posted on: August 30, 2009 - 6:50pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi zane26

You say you have a court date for the New Year, that is a long time to wait to have this resolved for you :( He may well not open a letter from you but
at least you will have done your bit. You could get your solicitor to write it, but then I guess it is more bills.

Hope your bank Holiday weekend is going Ok :)

Posted on: August 31, 2009 - 7:00am

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi zane26, what a shock to hear from you ex that he wants to go for full custody of the children, I agree with Louise though, he is just saying this to scare/hurt you. Don't let it get to you and don't believe for one minute that he will get full custody, keep believing you are the best person for the job as that may be his motive to undermine your parenting and belief in yourself.

If he has not been in contact with the children and has no idea about your sons medical history etc, you do have a very good leg to stand on.

Keep in touch, good luck with carpet hunting!

Posted on: September 1, 2009 - 4:14pm

sadsy

Hello zane26,
oh sweety, you are having such a hard time.
You are so incredibly strong though! You are doing really well.

Have missed you. I do need help decorating, but I should be grown up and do it myself. Eclairs are not good for you zane, yumm though! I'm bit overwhelmed now I've been made redundant, paperwork everywhere. Got 2 solicitor letters to respond to, check if I can have legal aid now no job. Job centre letters to find. I don't know where to start.

Re quorns
I don't know if you heard, but I got another rescue quorn, I thought was called "Ivan" but turned out to be "Yvonne" and now she is pregnant! She looks ready to go soon too. Have lots of towels and water ready (what do I do with these?).

huug for you

sy

Posted on: September 2, 2009 - 5:54am

zane26

Thx sy but i dont feel strong. I feel weak and tired lol The last two weeks have made me realise how hard it is to be a single mum with no support at all. My sons condition makes him such hard work and i hate to sound like this cos i do love him so much but he sleeps 2 hours a night and now i have no one to share the nightshifts with so i am awake all the time. sorry moaning again lol. I did go to the job centre thx for advice sparklinlime they sorting me a claim out. And ex has took a job in europe so we not having any more agro from him.

So how is the quorn? Had the little en yet lol

Posted on: September 5, 2009 - 6:01pm

sadsy

Helloooo zane26!
the sleep thing is awful, 2 hours will leave you tired and despairing.
Be aware of this. He must be having naps at other times? Can you nap when he naps?

You are surviving. Just do each day at a time for the moment, until you heal from the latest blow. I find if I try and solve 6 months of future problems I get overwhelmed. Just one day at a time until you feel stronger.

You are fab Zane26. Wish I could send you some eclairs.

Good advice from Sparklinglime again! Cool, Zane you are getting things sorted, 1 step at a time.

Please stay in touch, so we know you are OK.

My ex texted to say she looking to come with a Police escort again, sigh. I phone her to find out more but she so angry, hard to keep things steady on call. Poor Police lady will look all embarrassed again. :oops:
Hope she have second thoughts.

Hug for you Zane26

sy

Posted on: September 5, 2009 - 7:32pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi sadsy, did she tell you why she was coming round? Bad Luck it must feel so horrible being deemed such a dangerous person she needs a police escort. I wonder if she is asking or police so that can avoid any difficult questions, or trying to create a bad picture of you?

Posted on: September 5, 2009 - 7:59pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi Zane26

Have you been in touch with http://www.cafamily.org.uk

Contact a Family is the only UK wide charity providing advice, information and support to the parents of all disabled children, no matter what their disability or health condition.

They might have some useful ideas, support and respite available.

Let us know if you get in touch with them and if they are going to be any help as it is always good to know when we suggest another charity.

Take care of you, I hope you weekend has gone smoothly. Does your son sleep in the day? Is there any chance you can catch 40 winks at the same time??

Posted on: September 5, 2009 - 8:03pm

sadsy

Hellooo Anna,

Anna wrote:

Hi sadsy, did she tell you why she was coming round? Bad Luck it must feel so horrible being deemed such a dangerous person she needs a police escort. I wonder if she is asking or police so that can avoid any difficult questions, or trying to create a bad picture of you?

It's all silly stuff, based on poor communication*. On day 5-6 ish, she was making off with bags of documents, some of which I needed, like joint mortgage etc. I say wait at the time as I need to sort through. Then silence for 3 months and suddenly a text saying police etc. I have said I will spend a couple of evenings looking through and sorting boxes of papers for her. She want to tell me off about other things too, but I've tried to keep just to the 2 things she originally wanted to deal with, Arwen's sandals that got left behind here and papers which she intends to use for housing and schools. All seems a bit late, as they are starting a new school Monday Luke tells me tonight. I ask if she leaving her boyfriend, she say no. Is all very odd. I feel like she is using him.

If same Police lady come, she was very nice and we have a chat before.

Huuug for you Anna.

*It was what doomed us in our relationship.

Posted on: September 5, 2009 - 9:03pm

sparklinglime

Hugs Sy

Posted on: September 5, 2009 - 9:28pm

zane26

no naps i'm affraid he just survives on 2 hours a day. Never mind i might win the lotto one day and hire a great nanny to do the nightshift lol

We had a great day out today the fair, loved it! Back to school tomorrow don't know what i will do with myself :(

Sorry you ex causing u pain again, women eh lmao. But you are a strong and wonderful person and i know you will rise above it and one day come out the other end a better person for it
Love Gemma xx

Posted on: September 6, 2009 - 5:40pm

sadsy

Hello Zane26,

big hug for you.

Sy

Posted on: September 7, 2009 - 8:04pm

sparklinglime

I bought a euro lottery ticket AND a ticket for the Saturday draw... Now there's a waste of £2.50!

Hugs for all who need them

Posted on: September 7, 2009 - 10:31pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

:lol: Good Luck, you have got to be in it to win it!! :lol:

Posted on: September 8, 2009 - 10:25am