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I would imagine that judges do deal with cases like this quite often, i hope that all goes well for you caza and darsen.
and im bit scare dit wil go against me as i ad him bk so many times as well and i rang police few tyms, x
kiera, we can't predict the future, you have kept away from ex since the courts ruled that you should, so try to quash those fears.
2 weeks to go!!! oh god the nerves are killing me
Happy Halloween everyone xx
It's horrid waiting for the day to come, darsen. Hope you can fill the next two weeks with some nice, or at least distracting, things.
i've gone to court a million times by now in my head and in my dreams. I bet ya he's not freaking out like this. I wish it was over. I wonder what questions i will be asked? Im working on my statement thing with one of my friends at the moment, i hope its enough.
hi darsen how are u when is court myn is 21st nov, cafcass cumin myn this wed to do a risk assessment, xx
Hi darsen, I think you are right your ex probably isn't freaking out in the way that you are feeling this right now.
It is understandable that you are getting nervous, however do remember what littleangel has said on other threads. You are not the one on trial here. You are standing up for yourself and your children. Your ex is probably doing this as a last ditched attempt to get to you. Only you can allow that.
You have all the knowledge and information in your head, it will be good when you get the statement done, but remember there are no wrong answers, just what is in your heart and common sense.
hi Kiera, my court date is on 14th. I will post straight after and let you know how i get on.
Anna, I know your right, im getting myself into a tizzy and i shouldnt. I have nothing to hide
Atta girl darsen, you can do this!
hi darsen how are u doin,ope ur ok, its 14th ur in court, im in court 21st, well cud b adjourned as ex asnt dun drug test yet, didnt think he wud, xx
good luck for 14th hunxx
thanks Kiera, i hope yours goes well. Getting no sleep now as its getting closer. The thought of seeing him again and all his arrogance!!
aw im exactley the same hun, dreading seein him, and to top it off my support worker cant cum with me as short staffed, she cum with me last tym, gona ask lady from wave cud she cum with me, dont want go on my own plus av b there 9.30am,it smiles away u no,got get my 11 yr old son to school and my mum cumin early to watch my little girl, but like said cud b adjourned, av u got sumon eto go with u hunx
i av knot in my stomach and its not til next wed, do u no wots gon aappen in court hun, x
Havent a clue, Im trying to get a safety order and he's bringing me to court to get access and guardianship. My solicitor is saying we will fight for all but thats all hes saying. Thats the worst part because were thinking worst senario because we dont know what hes going to come out with. He has no back up though so im hoping that will help as i have loads of backup with gardes etc. I wish he would just F*** off and leave us alone. I hate having to look over my shoulder all the time and worrying what he will do next. Its an awful way to live isnt it?
ya thank god i have my dad with me and also my sister. If it comes to him having to get access my dad said he will supervise it so i need to push that in court. Id rather he had no access at all but if it comes to it i hope they let my dad do it because i cannot let my baby to HIM on his own. The thought of it turns my stomach
hi darsen well my situation bt different as my family hate my ex plus hes not allowed cum nr me or my area, so if he does get contact wish i dont want him to av any contact it av b contact centre supervised, hes not allowed contact ,he asnt seen my little girl for months, court ordered no contact,very high risks surrounding my ex, not surprising really, i wish he leave us alone but doubt he will, xx
yes it is an awful way to live, im stil on edge when i go out ibcase hes parked down road or pulls up in car or van next to me, worryingxx
Hi darsen I am glad that you are going to have family support when you go to court, that can help you feel stronger.
Whenever the thought/fear comes over you about court, just remind yourself that you are doing this for your baby. He can try and throw anything at you, but you are a mother who will protect at all costs.
Thank you Anna, its nerve racking!! God i hate him so much. Thats an awful word especially when i loved him so much for years.
darsen i hate my ex, and i really loved him to, then i foun dout he ad never left his girlfriend and he ad 7 month old baby, all lies he told, feel sorry for whoever he gets to nextx
Hi darsen and kiera, it is awful aswell as really painful when people we have loved so much hurt us, it will take awhile to get over the hurt but thankfully on here we have have each other to support us through the bad times 
thank u sallyxx
Darsen
good luck for tomorrow xxx
emma - can I recommend that you change your username to something more anonymous? We advise all One Space members to do this so they can post without fear of recognition (just go into 'My profile' on the top right of this page, change your username and 'Save' the changes at the bottom of he profile before continuing).
Will be thinking of you tomorrow, darsen. Sounds as though you have a lot of support from you family which I have always found invaluable in tough situations.
It can seem strange, the way our emotions change. My feelings towards A's dad went from love, to hate - and now I am totally indifferent towards him. Our hearts and minds are governed by what we receive from others and we alter acccordingly; people mistreat us or act in an inappropriate way to us and our children and we re-evaluate what they mean to us. There's nothing 'wrong' or questionable in this x
Thank you all for your best wishes. A sleeping tablet will be in order tonight i would say!!
Rudimentary mary, thank you for your words, its reassuring to know that i am not alone in all this and have you guys now to talk to as ye all have been in the same situation as me. I will be back online tomorrow to let ye know how it went xx
hi darsen yes gud luck hun well u dont need it u av dun nothing wrong, but i understand wot ur going thru totallyx
Thinking of you today Darsen, I hope that you have something lovely planned for yourself this evening.
Look forward to hearing how it went.
hi darsen thinking of u,ope u are ok, xx
hi darsen sure u wil b ok, get bk to us laterxx
Hi darsen, I got my days muddled up! Good luck today, I hope all has gone well?
darsen ope u are ok hun, waiting to see how are u are, xxx
hi all, sorry my internet was off yesterday so couldnt log on. Well it went well but not well!! I dont really know. He got access 2 hours a week but only supervised by my dad in my dads house so thats a plus. My barring order was ajourned until next month so i have to go back again. He denied everything and said i was the one beating him up!! He also swore on our babies life that he did not touch my other son, such s***, i cant believe how arrogant he was. An investigation has to be held now where a social worker will come and speak with my eldest and find out what he did to him. What will happen then i wonder? If my ex still denies the allagations, will my son be believed? Will access to our baby still be given?
hi darsen well how are u hun, they always deny deny deny, how old is ur eldest,ur son wil b believed, my ex called me vile names to my 2 sons faces, and if cafcass want spk to them they can cos they ain t gona lie, they no how these men lie and put act on, u av dun well,xx
Hi darsen, thanks for the update. Lying in court is not unusual in these circumstances unfortunately. My ex said that I used to be violent towards him too. We have to remain incredulous at any given suggestion.
I am glad that the access granted is going to be supervised by your dad - good for him.
It is annoying that you have to go through another investigation and more court dates, however now you are in the middle of it, bring it on. Lets get you through this and out the other side.
You never can tell what will happen in court on any given day, so unfortunately no one can answer that question. However the fact that there is to be an investigation into the allegation means that they are taking it seriously.
Now what have you got on today and tomorrow?
Thank you anna and Kiera. It was mad how much he lied. God i hope this social worker believes me and d but why should they not we are telling the truth and cannot be caught out. Him on the other hand will be lying and will slip up somewhere along the line. My eldest boy is 10 years old and i have told him everything that is going on. He seems confident enough about talking with the social worker after I talked him through it. The domestic violence service have advised for dad to write everything down like what time he arrived, left and everything in between because that did help me in court because i had every single thing written down thank god!! Your up next Kiera, I hope yours goes as well as it can xxx
Hi darsen,
Pleased to hear that at least access is supervised (and with someone you trust present to keep an eye on your son's father).
I aren't too surprised your ex lied in court, either - it seems to have become common practice for abusive ex partners to manipulate the truth so that it is bent out of all recognition. I even heard of one case where the estranged husband claimed (on a legal document) that he had full custody of his children, when in fact they were living with his ex wife!
Mark Twain said "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything". I think you're right, and at some point your ex will forget who he has told what to.
Take each day as it comes - and keep checking in on the boards so we know how you're doing.
Mary
(By the way, I edited a name out of your last post to preserve your anonymity. Just wanted to let you know x)
hi darsen well got cafcass report today was gud in fovour of me, ex didnt even attend appointment to see cafcass lady, and stil asnt dun drug test, she recomends no contact,and stil high risk towards me and il b marracced again, and other crimes he as dun involcvin drugs tht i cant mention in full, and cafcass lady recomends now tht residencu order goes towards me ensuring my little girl saftey, alot more as well basically im happy with reportx
Hi darsen, how are you today? It is great that you have everything written down, I do think it gives us some support (somewhere to get it all out), it makes us feel a little more in control and also that it came in handy in court. It sounds as though your boy is confident and mature for a 10 year old. I hope that he isn't overloaded with all of this.
kiera, it sounds as though your cafcass report is really positive, fingers crossed that you get the residency order as well as no access.
well done kiera the report sounds good thank god, something positive!! Ex had his first visit yesterday and my dad had to open all the windows due to the smell of drink off him. What is he playing at?? It makes no sense. He went drinking straight after the court wednesday until he was to see my baby. Dad has written it down anyway but should i wait and keep letting him come with drink on him and keep a record of it for court in december or do i have the right to stop the access?
Hi darsen, another question to the Legal expert methinks. Really not very nice for your baby or your father.
I will be interested to hear what the legal expert says on this.
hi darsen god ur ex sound awful and to smell of drink, wot is he playin at at al, i wud stop contact asap, and get it bk to court, well got mate cumin court weith me nd victum support booked private room for me and b at court with me,yeash report gud, no contact cafcass officer said, giv his criminal past and he not dun drug test or even turned up to see cafccass lady, u donmt want man stinkin drink nr ur baby, these men, my ex ad weapon and alot drugs in raid last yr i didnt no bout, x
yes cafcas slady in support of me getin residency order shud get it wed. xx
thanks anna, i sent them a message there, i will lwt you know what the say. Kiera, thank god everything seems to be going good for you so far. Best of luck on 23rd is it?
A mutual friend was talking to my parents and they told them that my ex was in the pub since leaving court last week. it makes no sense to go through all this just to show up drunk!! He doesnt admit he has a problem so why should he stop, i know thats what he's thinkin. He also told them that he got custody of our son and all of his drinking buddys are saying it in snidy remarks passing me on the street. Such pure and utter crap!!
hi darsen its tomoz court hun, evrythin goin my way, report very gud, cafcass recomends no contact. and i can get residency order tomoz, ex legal aid stil asnt cum thru so he wont av a solicter, hopefully he wont turn up,got private room booked in courtx
ur ex as tuk u court just cos u avnt ad him back,like my ex, i wud stop all contact if tht was me hun, and tell ur solicter tht u want test dun regurlay on ur ex,for drink, u dont want man drinkij like tht around ur child, no way x
snap!!! yes lol i will be made out to be the nutter haha bt hopefully your right they would of seen this a million times :)