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thank u louise i av alot support, xx
Hi darsen, your ex has told his drinking buddies that he got custody? Oh dear he is delusional about that and his drinking.
How are you today?
hi darsen well bin couirt i went to pieces in private room,didnt want see ex, he turned up of course, so i didnt av to go in court my soliciter ad word with legaladvisor,he said i harass him, joke,he as do drug test by 2nd jan, and still court ordered no contact,non molestation order and residence order, my solicter said ven if clear test theres stil his criminal side tht cums into question, next hearing is feb 27th for me, i av to do a statement, court aint messin bout they want outcum over with and so do ixope ur ok hunx
its tough going into court isnt it. You dont realise until you see them there in front of you how frightening it is. All the lies!! How are they so confident about them especially in court. Its mad, maybe they actually believe them so much themselves and convince themselves. Im dreading going back in december. I kind of felt after the last one it was my word against his. I need to speak with my solicitor to make sure he uses all the police reports i have etc cause at the moment my ex is just denying all. Can i still use the police reports even though on some occasions he wasnt charged?
I think you need to ask your solicitor this question darsen, but I would have thought so. When are you due to meet with your solicitor next?
hey all how are ya? Well the ex had his 2nd visit last saturday and arrived with €500 ??????? Dont know what he's playing at now, is it to look good in court on 12th December? It doesnt make up for anything but he may be thinking it does. Confused!!!!
Bet that was a surprise, darsen. I hope you took the money? Don't forget about the length of time he hasn't paid. Was your dad there at the visit?
i did take the money, baby needs clothes and food, even though the ex doesnt think that as its the first bit of money i have got off him....ever!! Wonder what the angle is though and how his solicitor will make anything good from that. Ya my dad was there, the ex made him sign a note book to say he received the money? Im freaking out now, he is so cunning, im afraid he'll get what he wants in the end. I know for a fact he has to mess up sooner or later especially coming up to christmas, he is definitely not going to stay sober long enough
Hi darsen
Paying child support and seeing a child are completely separate in law. However, if he does not know this and finally gives you some money after all this time then way to go!!
I think you have the rights of it, can he stay sober?
louise are you there i need to ask you something very important?? :(
Hello anonymous mum
I have given you a reply on this thread here You need to send us a private email
Hi all, how are ye? All well here, as well as can be. The ex is still turning up with drink on him. were back in court on wednesday, this could go on forever!!
hi hun how are u, i wud stop contact if he stil avin drink on him, it sdidgusting i wudnt want him nr my child, av u spoken to ur soliciter, are u in court tomoz hunxx good luck, im seing my solicter tomoz do my statement,and sign residence order papersx
Just to add, I have seen that you cannot send a private email at the moment, anonymous mum. There is a perfectly simple explanation about these messages, please click here to see it.
good stuff kiera, i hope all works out for you. ya im in court tomorrow and will tell all bout him still drinking, i just saw him there a few mins ago rotten drunk, he walked out in front of my car staggering all over the place, he didnt even see me. I cant have this man coming in playing daddy!!!
Hi darsen how did you get on in court?
hi how are u darsen how have u got on in court, ope everythin went ok xx
i was sent home as my solocitor told me it was gonna be ajourned so i left. About an hour later my dad was walking down the street and met my ex who told him that he got full custody, joint guardianship and all other charges dropped. I went insane and searched the town looking for my solicitor who advised me that this was all lies and it was ajourned as he told me that morning. Craziest half hour of my life!! My dad went to have a drink and met my ex who was shouting in the pub that he got everything because i didnt show up to court. My dad confronted him and he still insisted that he wasnt lying. This man has officially gone insane!! He never showed up for his visit today either. He text my dad and said he had a stomach bug which is pure crap as he has been on the beer all week. His mother was searching the town looking for him last night! He must think we are all stupid
Oh darsen what a terrible shock for you when he told you that! You need to stay strong and hold your nerve, it sounds as if he is the author of his own destruction. Have you got a new date for court?
Hi, I went through similar with my ex husband, he told a bunch of lies and was an alcoholic.
You can say to your solicitor you're terrified of him being alone with baby, he was awful to you and baby and you're so distressed you've had to go doctors etc Explain you want what is best for baby and you're willing for the ex to see baby in an access centre until he has proved himself. (he probably wont show up)
Make sure your solicitor has all the info, any time you rang police, any time he drank to much, was on drugs etc
Try not to worry too much, he's asking for a lot and is unlikely to get it. Make it as difficult as possible for him.
Worse case scenario, move away. If he's genuinely not interested in baby he wont make the effort to come.
It's also worth mentioning that unless you were married at the time of birth and he registered baby with you, you have the upper hand.
hi hope evryone is ok ,im gettin more and more anxious knowing court is is appproaching , i really dont think i can do it im so scared, i know i wont hold it together, i cant be in the same room as him , he keeps sayin really spiteful things on his fb and its just makin me more an more anxious
hiya hun how are u today, when are u in court, i no exactly how u feel, i cudnt go in court room when it cum down to it i got shaky and worked up,my soliciter ad word and i didnt av to go in,is ur ex blocked, u musnt luk on his fb, i did once and regretted it i felt sic,pic him with his kids , my ex is blocked totally, i dont want to luk on his fb and im not u musnt luk hun, just make u worse, ope ur ok, u are strong womanx
Hi darsen, thanks for the update. Your ex sounds like he needs some support with his drinking, unfortunately only he can do this. None of what he is doing will look good in court.
Hi anonymousmum, I have responded to you in your thread here.
thank you anonymousmum, its good support here with all of you and knowing im not alone. This is the first christmas i have been looking forward to in years. I can actually relax! Its a long road and he has already messed up so im not confident he will turn his life around for his son, hopefully he will just get bored soon. Next date is 9th Jan. Will keep ye all posted over the month!!
Will have everything crossed for you on the 9th darsen, also glad that you are going to relax and enjoy this christmas.
Happy new year to all of you. I hope 2013 will be better for all of us xxx
Yes indeed, darsen!
happy new year and thinkin of u on 9thxxx
hi darsen how are u hun, are u in court on 9th jan, ope ur okxx
another court date over and done with. He shouted everytime i spoke again!! its ajourned now until march when hopefully the report from the social worker will be done. He is supposedely in hospital with a collapsed lung so could not attend his visit last saturday, dont know how true this is. He could be telling the truth but i dont believe anything from him anymore. Good side is my dad got a break
Glad you got through the latest episode, darsen and good that your dad got a break!
hi darsen how are u, well at least u got til march, my contested hearin is 26th feb, dreadin it, ive dun my statement, dont av to do anythin now just wait, xx
best of luck kiera x
hi all, sorry i havent been on in a while. How is everyone?
hi darsen how are u, what have u bin uptox
not much now, still grinning and bearing the saturday visits!!
well report come thur from cafcass stil ex not allowed contact, his hairstrand test cum back negative event ho he did it 6 months later but was note attached to it sayon he ad used hair dye so tht negative test doesnt count, he laffed bout what he did to me when he put me in hospital, he minimized it , he assulte dme abroad u c, he said they didnt charge him but they did, there was a trial wot he didnt go to, so cafacss are lookin into it which is wot i want, he denied sein me and his girlfriend at same time event ho he did, he lied to cafacss lady to er face, police av raided his home last nov twice and eh was very agressive with police so its all gon aaginst him, last hearin next tue, and she did risk asssessment and there are risk and hes not allowed any contact at all, worreis me wot he will do mean his reaction, my solicter said av b marracced again for my saftey x
Hello darsen so you are just about coping with the Saturdays then....is he turning up each week?
he showed up the last 2 weeks but not for a month before that, told my dad he was in hospital, dont know if its true or not. the social are coming out on 27th to do a section 20 report so we'll see how that goes, i just hope they believe me and they dont get charmed by the ex.
hello everyone long time ...i havnt had no internet so havnt been able to comment, ..but i am in court next week for my first hearing am really anxious as ex contacted me again asking how baby was at first and i just told him how she was , then he started ring me 5 times a day asking what she was doing what has she eaten what was the noise she was making in the background etc ...it all got a bit to much so i asked him if he could possibly not ring as often and he flared up and also flared up for me not taking a picture of baby and sending it when he asked, he said he is going to do everything he can to get baby took off me and he would rather see her with a foster parent than with me cos then atleast he will be able to see her,he also said he is gona lie in court and say he has been coming to my house ( this is a deffo lie), im really anxious caffcass havnt rang me yet and i dont kno wether i should tell them we spoke cos will it go against me he said if i make it hard for him he will give me a battle and il lose baby , im really worried, a freind of mine had her last hearing in court and they wiped the floor with her apparently and wouldnt give contact centre cos they havnt got funds and she has to drop baby off at mac donalds cos theres cameras there!! ...he said he is goin to be going to court with a girl and baby so that she can go in and say she has no concerns about him being around her baby! , i have cut all contact again after the threats and verbal abuse, he contacted me on xmas day ..he really picked his day
i am meeting my solicitor tommorow for the first time she said i dont need to do anything for the first hearing ,i should tell her everything tho you think ? he also siad he will turn ababy against me and he will take her and not give her back and there is nothing i can do about it if he gets off with her and he said he will be going for shared custody after he has had his access am so worried the courts are just gonna hand her to him cos of no funds and his mum will say she can supervise, baby doesnt even kno them and will become distressed shes so clingy at the mo already, apperantly the courts dont care about this and say the younger the better and they will get over it!! :( i know theis will affect her emotionall health ::(((
is there a link where i can post a comment and ask little angel for some advice to , how to speak to caffcass i dont wana mess this up
Hello anonymous mum, there is no private message facility. If the hearing that is coming up is your first hearing, it will probably be very short and will be adjourned for CAFCASS reports, and at that stage you will be allocated a CAFCASS officer. I doubt that they will be available to speak to you until an officer is allocated to your case. And yes, tel your solicitor everything so she has all the information
Darsen, hmmma report is in the offing, good luck with that and let us know how it goes.
hi louise thanks i was told caffcass was gona speak to me before cos they sent me a letter asking for my phone number and said they would ring before court
Ok well check that with the solicitor then?
how old is your lil one darsen did court say your ex could come round to see baby, im so scared there gona make me hand my baby over to someone she doesnt even kno and the threats he,s made to not give her back ..run away with her and evrything else
hi anonymousmum, my little one is 20 months noe and the court have ordered social worker to come out and interview everyone involved. the access i supervised at the minute but it all lies on what this social worker puts in her report. i would advise the police of your exs threats to take your baby, as you obviously feel threatened by this man and it will all be taken record of
im worried that they will say well why did you speak to him again and he even said that his solicitor said it is goin to go against me that i keep ringing the police, the first time he contacted me tho he wasnt threatning and just asked how the baby was so didnt see no harm and told him she was fine , it was also xmas day so he played on my guilt or good will
he said all this to me verbally on the phone but then sent me emial saying no one is gonna take baby off me so he,s obviousley trying to cover his tracks
Darsen I am so glad that your dad is there for the contact, it does not sound as if your ex partner is showing much commitment to the parenting time.
Kiera we will all be thinking about you tomorrow