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April 2012 Chit Chat

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Morning all!

Glad to hear that your boy feeling better sparkling, now where have YOU hidden your daughters letters for college interviews?!! I love it when they constantly blame us for everything!

hazeleyes, I hope that today is a better day for you and you are not feeling so muddled!! That made me laugh, but I agree with Louise, very quick thinking!!

Thinking of you Hopeful, I hope you managed to get some sleep in between thrashing out your essay surprise

Looby, let us know how you are and hi to littleredhen, catch up with you on your thread :)

Grey skies and splatters of rain - Come On summer!

Posted on: April 18, 2012 - 11:54am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi all. Horrid horrid weather isn't it? Morning started off in a huge rush. Had to do neighbours change over on their tv. Went over at 8.10. Blimey I was shattered before 9 am. School was good, and no muddles, yippeee.

Hope everyone is okay. Be back here later, just need to put some washing on. Am I organised this week?? Hell no!!! Maybe next hehe

Posted on: April 18, 2012 - 1:24pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I was listening to the tele about the changeover for you hazeleyes.  We went digital quite a while back now.  That was kind that you sorted it for them.

It's not rained here yet, but very cloudy.

Found the paperwork for one interview for daughter, but not the other.  I've phoned the college though - the woman did laugh!

Posted on: April 18, 2012 - 1:57pm
Mich
DoppleMe

Hello ladies....Have updated my original thread....but thought I would pop in here too, just to say I think of you all a lot and haven't forgotten you, but am very busy at the mo, and will be starting my voluntary work next Wednesday too.

I am in a really good place at the moment too, and can't believe how far I have come...after looking back at how bad things were...so there is hope for us all...

Miss you guys, so big hugs xxxx

Posted on: April 18, 2012 - 3:38pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi Mich

Good to know things are good with you.

Posted on: April 18, 2012 - 4:39pm
Looby
DoppleMe

Hi all, thanks for thinking of me. I'm ok, but sore! I had to have some removed which they did using large loop excision and they've sent them off for biopsy. Got to wait up to four weeks for the results. Got told to take it easy and rest which is not easy to do when you have a four year old jumping all over you! It hurts more than I thought it would, but its getting better.

Hope everyone else is ok. Early night for me. J has a cough so we are not getting much sleep at the minute!

 

Posted on: April 18, 2012 - 8:42pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Take it steady, Looby, sounds like you had a similar op to me. The biopsy for me was to make sure they had "got it all" and there was a decent margin around the abnormal cells.They are pretty experienced so they usually have.

Yes, not easy to rest when you have little J bouncing around! smiley

Good morning to everyone else. What's on the agenda today?

There is an interesting post in Media Requests today, someone wanting to talk to those who have found difficulties with navigating the benefit system. Sparkling, would you want to talk with them about what happened to you?

 

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 8:00am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I shall have a look Louise...

Do rest as much as you can Looby. 

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 8:04am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Off to see my Aunty.  I spoke to her yesterday (to confirm today) and asked how she was - she's ok, but isn't???  She wants to speak to me about it....

Also MiL phoned.  FiL is not eating and seems to have gone down hill so much in a few days.   Social Services still haven't got there but are going to do there best to be there this week.  She's spoken to The Git too, so he's prepared.  To be honest, if I'd have had his phone number I would have phoned him to warn him.  MiL hasn't before as she didn't want them turning up as The Gittess talks too much and upsets FiL.  Even so, I do think he should have come up sooner, what ever I think of him. 

Have spoken to the older two about how I'll deal with things when the time comes.  I've no interest in what The Git wants, but the younger two will not be going to the funeral without me.  He's had such little contact with them since 2007, he wouldn't notice if 16 year old wasn't coping with it, and I know youngest needs so many cuddles.  They would be so confused too as I know he'd be standing there smiling at everyone...  I guess I'm thinking of it more as MiL phoned a couple of times yesterday.

My Aunty's call has worried me too.  I know she's 89, but she's such a big part of my life...

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 8:50am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

My Aunt thinks she may have athritis.  A problem as she lives in a three storey house, and has to go down about 50 steps, some of them very steep, to get to it...  Which is why we meet in Morrison's...

 

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 12:02pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Eldest has just left to go to his interview down in South Wales.  Well, Travlodge tonight and interview in the morning.  Amazing how quickly the last 20 years and four months have gone...

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 12:47pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yes sparkling, now that my youngest is 17 (and so enormous) I keep looking at him and wondering where that little toddler in the white sleepsuit went. Good luck to your big J for his interview.My eldest just phoned, he has his dissertation to finish and three essays, everything to be done by May 14th and that's that. The three years of Uni have gone like a flash. He doesn't know whether he will be living back here for a while or will get a flat with another guy who is also staying on there to work.

It does sound like your FiL is going downhill and it is good that you have thought in advance about the funeral etc.

Will your auntie try to move into different accommodation now?

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 12:59pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

My Aunty will have to, I feel.  My cousins though are all very handy and may be able to come up with an idea to help her stay.  At the moment she's going up and down the steps one at a time.  And the steps are slate and so slippery when its wet.  She has a large garden to the side of the house and if the lads can get hill done, I'm sure they will.  There is one of sorts which goes half way down the steps now, but, then complicated to get back on the actual steps (I know I'm not explaining this well).

The town she lives in is a University town, and I'm sure she'd sell her place very quickly if it came to it. 

 

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 1:10pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

 

I was very brave.  It was a good 10 minutes before I cried after eldest went.  smiley

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 3:17pm
Hopeful
DoppleMe

My essay was half hour late (so I'll miss marks for that) and I wasn't happy with it, so I just really really hope it was enough. Thanks everybody though for being so encouraging and thinking of me!

Will catch up with everything in a bit, hope all are fine! xx

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 5:25pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hey everyone. Awww Hopeful, I'm sure you've done really well with the essay. How soon do you get the results through? Keeping everything crossed for you. x

Sparkling, sorry to hear your Aunty and FIL aren't 100%. An awful worry for you I know. You said about the funeral, but no mention of you. Please tell me that you would be there, obviously I know how you'd feel about seeing the Git and Gittess, but your MIL and your FIL would want you there. Anyhow, plenty of time for the arrangements. Your FIL sounds strong willed, so hopefully he'll pick up again soon. I'm sure I've said this before, but about four years before my Mum died away, she really took a turn for the worse. Her Doctor said she was dying, and I ended up arguing the toss with her. It took her months before she really started to improve, from the December to the February. What I'm trying to say is, there is always hope, hold on to that Smile  Hope everything goes brilliantly for J at the interview. Let us all know he gets on when he returns. 

Looby, hope you're resting, Drs orders!!

Louise, it would be lovely if your eldest moved back in for a while with you wouldn't it? Imagine all those conversations about 'willys', hehe.

Mich, lovely to 'see' you here. Will catch up with your thread soon.

lrh, how are you doing?

Anna, hope you're okay.

To everyone else (sorry if I've missed anyone), hope you're all well and having a good week.

Booked C's swimming lessons, and I was so lucky as he can start tomorrow. Wasn't sure how he'd react, as even though he wants to go, he's been saying he's a bit nervy of not knowing anyone, being the only one who can't swim etc. Anyhow, picked him up, told him the news, and I was given a huge huge hug, with lots of thankyous. Am assuming he's delighted Smile

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 7:53pm
Hopeful
DoppleMe

Aw, thanks Hazeleyes! Results will be at least three weeks. So it's a long time crossing! Louise, maybe I should I ask my mum if I can move back with her after I've finished?! What is your oldest studying?

Swimming lessons are an excellent idea. Maybe C will even make new friends outside of school?

Feeling a bit more relaxed now. Daughter not so well - complaining of headache and she has a temperature (although that is my judgement; thermometer is kaputt). She slept most of the day.

Wishing everyone a good night x

Posted on: April 19, 2012 - 9:32pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm so glad C's going to be swimming.  I'm so excited for him!

No hazeleyes.  I won't be going.  Older two can go to represent the family.  It will confuse and upset 16 year old too much, and I know that 13 year old would probably be fine, but also think he would need to be by me. 

I'm not the daughter-in-law, The Gittess is.  It's right she should be there with The Git.  I would make things difficult.

They'll go back to where ever they live, and I'll be here for MiL.  My FiL wants his ashes to go with his younger son in the Chapel by their home.  I can go there.

I don't need to be there.  They know I love them...

I actually don't think I can physically "do" a funeral at a cremotorium now.  I can't stand long enough!

 

Son arrived at the travelodge at about 5.30pm.  Had a few texts through - including one to say "yes I have done my teeth"!!!

Cubs and Scouts was ok.  A few less faces, which I suppose is to be expected after a break.

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 12:02am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Morning everyone

Glad to know that everyone is getting on OK. Well done for getting the essay out of the way, Hopeful. Sparkling good luck to your eldest, isn't it scary when they do such grown up things? My eldest has been studying English Lit and is (hopefully) about to graduate. haha Hazeleyes yes he does tend to discuss rather personal things with me.

Victor strikes again: I had a Egg credit card some years ago. They used to pay a small bonus every year depending on what use you had made of the card. My bonus was just over a fiver. Then Egg was taken over by Barclaycard, who kept sending me statements saying I was £5 in credit but that they had closed the acoount as I had not used the card for so long. I wrote saying please send me the balance. They ignored my letter, I wrote again saying I have not had a reply, Still no reponse and I continued to receive the annoying statements. So I wrote a Victor letter, this time had a response, in fact three response letters at long intervals, FINALLY a phone call yesterday saying sorry and we are sending you the money and because we have messed you around, instead of a fiver we will send you £30. Result!

What is everyone doing today?

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 8:20am
littleredhen
DoppleMe

Morning everyone - having a problem with the boards again - tried to post and it doesn't like it - trying not to take it personally!

When I first joined I used to have to copy my post and then try and paste it several times until it accepted it - emotions are giving me trouble again as well

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 8:24am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

LRH I can see that there were some format adjustments yesterday, I will have a chat with Anna today.

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 8:39am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Well done on the Victor Meldrew letter Louise. Cool

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 8:55am
Hopeful
DoppleMe

What a result Louise! :-) excellent!

Sparkling, I'm thinking of you. It's a difficult situation. Big hug x

I'm off to uni later - introduction into year 3. whoopy!

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 10:22am
Mich
DoppleMe

Afternoon all....Good luck Hopeful...

Thinking of you too Sparkling...

Thanks for the thread note Hazeleyes...

LRH,I remember having to do that too sometimnes, and hope you're well...

That's a great result Louise...

Hope you get lots of rest too Looby.

Have done some washing, so that is on the line...and have to go shopping later...Thank goodness at least it is Sunny here...xx

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 1:22pm
littleredhen
DoppleMe

Hi Mich - you sound great - good luck with your new relationship - I wish you well - your posts have really helped me in the past

Good result Louise - I did the same with my bank - long story and won't bore you with the details but got £50 off them - ooh that sounds like I am trying to outdo you!

Have a good weekend everyone

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 1:35pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Son has had conditional offer so long as he gets 240 points. Smile

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 2:10pm
Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi all!

Thats fantastic news sparklinglime, how does he get these points? (oops sorry to ask if that is a daft question Embarassed)

Hi littleredhen, I will talk to Sam (our technical whizz) on Monday. Do you use Safari, Internet Explorer, Firefox or other?

Hi Mich, washing on the line, shopping getting done, Friday evening is going to be a good one!

Hi Hopeful, I hope Uni went well, I can't believe for all that essay writing you got it in half an hour late! Bad luck. Whats done is done, well done for completing it, look forward to hearing your results.

Glad you are home again Looby and hope you heal soon.

Victor, ahem, sorry, Louise, it certainly pays to be persistent doesn't it. Will you treat yourself to posh cake with your posh coffee next time you go, or even stretch to a post lunch perhaps? Smile

I hope everyone has a fab weekend

 

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 4:48pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi all. Not long home, it's been a lonnnngggg day! C loved the swimming but was disappointed that's he's one of the eldest, as a beginner. I boosted him by saying that he'd probably get more attention!! A friend from school was there, in the 2nd group, and she laughed at him, (which didn't exactly help the situation). Think he's now worried a bit about school on Monday, but I've told him if any comments are said, to just reply 'we've all got to start somewhere'. There are lots of children in his class that cannot swim, which I keep telling him. Anyhow, gave him the choice of continuing or not, and the answer is yes. Despite everything he loved it, and I could clearly see that by the enormous smile on his face each time he looked my way Smile

Sparkling, I do hope your FIL is okay. I understand completely what you're saying about the funeral etc, but I get cross I think on your behalf. After all, you're the one who visits regularly, not the daughter in law. I'm sure your Fil and your Mil still regard you as that anyway. Like you say though, there's the 16 year old and the 13 year old to consider in all of this too.

Hope everyone is doing okay today. We're having a pizza tonight. Washing is on, back to normal for a Friday evening. We were asked to go for a meal tomorrow evening by Friday friend. She said it was her treat, as she'd let C down in the hols, and wanted to make it up to him. Then went on to say that other friends were going (that she knows). I mentioned going to C and he wasn't keen, so we're not. She had promised him a visit here tomorrow night, so I think inviting us to the meal was an excuse really, she'd already made arrangements, and knew she was letting C down again. That's my theory anyway!!!

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 6:50pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm glad he enjoyed the swimming.

I agree with your theory!

Posted on: April 20, 2012 - 7:00pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yes I agree with the theory too, Hazeleyes.

Re the swimming.....my youngest as you know has some learning difficulties. Also he is very tall. So when he went to swimming lessons he was two years older than the others and honestly twice the size. It was hard for him but he got there in the end. As C does so well with the academic stuff you could have a chat to him and explain that some of the younger children who are doing well at swimming will not be good at the things in which he shines but swimming is important for safety so it is good to learn. Tell him that lots of grown ups go to lessons as well but they are at the pool on a different day Smile

Hopeful, will year three be your final year? Surprised

LRH you did well with the £50 from the bank, I love stories like that!! Yes do let us know what browser you are using in case that is affecting your ability to post. I don't know about a cake for me, Anna, but I might have breakfast out on Monday with my coffee, something like poached egg on toast (I seem to be totally incapable of poaching eggs, any tips anyone?)

Sparkling how is everyone in your house today?

Hello to Carolyn and Mich. Hope you are feeling better, Looby.

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 9:51am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Eldest didn't come straight home last night, so I was so disappointed.

Took the other three to Tesco as the fridge and cupboard were bare! Tight budget as I had to give two weeks wages to eldest for the trip down. There must have been change if he stayed out.

I was in a lot of pain, so went to bed around 10pm. He was on the laptop in the living room. Not a word.

Sixteen year old had a bad day in school yesterday and has decided he wants to do the art course at college. He's had the interview and has a place on this. He's had a conditional place on the mechanical engineering one, which he really seemed to want to do. But nope, he is telling the tutors this morning he'll be doing art from September (he's in college this morning doing his Art course!) He says he wants to get away from the annoying friends at school and he knows those in the art place.

Now... what do I do? Support this choice? Or encourage him to keep an open mind with the engineering?

Don't get me wrong, his art work is absolutely stunning. Jaw droppingly so. But I would like to see him with a career ahead. Me being negative with the options that art will give him perhaps.

I'm rabbiting on, aren't I. Not a good day today. I've come to the office after dropping sixteen year old at college.Can't face home - but do have mobile with me.

I do hope everyone has a good weekend.

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 10:33am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I have an announcement to make

YEAR END IS DONE!! AND SUBMITTED! P60s in envelopes.

 

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 12:02pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

WELL DONE (quick trumpet fanfare called for there.....Cool)

I don't know what to suggest about 16 year old. The engineering does sound as if it would be more vocational. Would that be with the school friends then? Is it the familiarity of the art college that appeals to him?

That is soooooo typical re eldest, I share your frustration about it though. Am I right in saying that 240 points is the equivalent of 3 C grades at A level or do the GCSEs he has already done count towards it? I know that when eldest went, he had done a diploma that was worth a certain number of points (not A levels) but it was easier for him as he didn't go until he had been working for two years so when he applied he was already able to tell them what he had got.

How is everyone doing today?

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 3:51pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi all. Not sure what to advise on 16 year old Sparkling, sorry. As for the older one, a clip round the ear, followed by a big hug, hehe.

Louise, C is fine on the swimming thing, in fact he hasn't spoken about it today, so think he's fine. Won't bring up the subject until he does, but that's a good suggestion. Thankyou.

Friday friend is coming round. She rang last night, saying the others she'd tried to get to go for the meal, couldn't afford it, so she'd come round here if that was okay. Now what I should  have said was 'sorry, i'm doing something'. Me being me, said, 'yep, that's fine'. Of course I feel used a bit, but it's my own doing. Louise, don't nodding your head lol. Sparkling, can hear you tutting too!! Not sure if the son is coming, I do hope so, as C would love a playmate tonight.

Back to swimming and opinions please. In the place, there aren't any cubicles in the mens. C went in, came out following an elderly man. Told me he'd seen him naked!! Little girls of about 4 were also going in with their Dads, Grandads, and I didn't think it was okay for C to have to change in front of the little girls, or in fact for C to see the naked men. The other boy of about 7 went into the ladies, and changed in the cubicles. Do you think it would be okay for me to take C in their, he wouldn't be showing all and sundry to others at his age, and he wouldn't be seeing naked ladies/girls either. My sister said at his age, it should be fine, and shouldn't be expected. When we go with the school, the boys are in cubicles. So, what are your opinions?

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 5:34pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I've been looking at the UCAS site trying to work out the points thing.  If he has a distinction, I think he'll be ok (hurrah!!)

Living room is full of cardboard from his portfolio case and pockets (A1 size) and drawings.  He's been asked to sort but hasn't as he needs to go out.  He's working tomorrow.

Need to sort out evidence to take up for my friend to sign off for the final tutor marked assignment.  External marked stuff then - only one I think! 

I can then start to sort the house out.  I'm looking forward to that, rather than just keeping it tidy.  And the garage.  I'm looking frward to June!!

 

With the sixteen year old.  I think he is now going for this as he knows it is something he can do and do well.  There are a couple of friends going from school, and my daughter's friend will be doing the same course too.  I'm sure someone must have commented on his ability to do things at some point yesterday.  He really does gets so worked up over grades...  He has asked me to cancel his place on the mechanical engineering course.

I shall have to think about this Smile

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 5:35pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Whoops, well done on getting it all posted Sparkling. Joining Louise in the trumpet fanfare.xx

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 5:36pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Smile

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 6:15pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Might be way off the mark here, but this is what I think. Friday friend, I think her partner tries to control her. Her son now goes to a dancing class on a Friday, so obviously no longer comes here. Partner doesn't like dancing class, as he feels it will turn his son gay. I ask you!!! So, she works on a Saturday, partner has son. He hasn't been here since beginning of March. Friday friend arrived, C is disappointed as son isn't coming. His Dad has decided to take him out for something to eat! So unheard of. Anyhow, my friend said, she knows how upset C is, as she's always promising, so she'll take him out on her own. This is fab for C of course. What I think is, her partner is now having control on the son, as he has him on the Saturday. They aren't allowed friends over, so it's not like we could go there, partner doesn't like it. They've now gone to McDonalds, C wanted me to go, bless him, but I knew it was something she wanted to do on her own, so off they've gone. I might be totally off the ball here, but had to get this down. Her partner is a complete d***. Don't like him, and never have done.

There, I feel better now, sigh

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 7:09pm
Hopeful
DoppleMe

Hi all,

yes, Louise, year three is the last one. I'm on the diploma at the moment and as long as I pass the one from last week I'll be offered to switch to the degree program (harder work academically, but means I won't have to 'top up' later), but I don't know if I can afford it as the bursary is worked out differently.

Have wasted the whole day today doing abolutely nothing and getting in a worse and worse mood over it. Then No3 son wanted to do a job for money and I couldn't think of anything so there was an argument about that. Dragged myself to do the weekly shop and thought about my attitude (which was obviously really really bad all day) and told myself off. Got home to find No3 son hadn't found the right stuff to do what he was supposed to, but had a go anyway which was nice in principle but made the situation in that room worse. So I said something about that and came across all wrong - both of us ended up in tears - he says I am always sad and even his friends say I always look sad. I really really don't want that!!!! So now, I actually am sad.

Still cross at myself for wasting the day. Taking deep breaths and watching rubbish TV with daughter. Then hopefully I'll do something a bit more usefull. I hate wallowing in selfpity.

So - I really hope everyone else is in a better place! Big hugs to all xxx

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 7:31pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I do agree with you hazeleyes.  Sounds as if Friday friend can see it too.  Nice for C to go out, but not quite as it could be really. xxx

I've wasted the afternoon Hopeful.  Should be getting evidence ready to get signed off, and should be doing an essay!  Not impressed with eldest and can't get the in-laws out of my head really.

Watching The Voice and eating ice cream - expensive stuff that is on half-price offer at Tesco!!

Posted on: April 21, 2012 - 8:15pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Oh Hopeful, we all have those days, don't be cross with yourself. My energy comes in bursts, which means that some days I get through what I am doing with the speed of an atom bomb whereas on other days I feel like a slug on some sort of extra-strong tranquiliser. Today is a new day Smile. Good luck with sorting the details for the course for next year.

Sparkling big changes afoot for your household with some of the children embarking on new stages of life. I feel very similar as eldest is coming out of Uni and youngest finishing college. I am sorry not to able to have more input in your thoughts about 16 year old but I do think you are the person best placed to assess the situation.

Hi Hazleyes, hmmm Friday friend...I think you are probably right. Just goes to show that sometimes we are better off single!!!! I didn't tut about you saying yes to her, I think you should do what suits you best Smile

Re swimming, I think going with school, a lot of boys together, is a different matter to what you are talking about with grown men in the changing rooms as well. I would be inclined to take C into the ladies with you for the time being and go in a cublcle with him.

What's everyone up to today? I am off to that church this morning, I do enjoy it but it is a bit too long, I told them that last week (in the spirit of honest feedback, you understand Tongue out) There is a break in the middle where the children go out to the Sunday school bit so I will take the chance to stretch my legs and go to the loo and there are some drinks at the back (it is held in a hotel) Son is working, so will drop him off on the way.

Interesting about son's job. He gets £5 an hour. There was a staff meeting this week and the manager said he had employed some new people (at £4.40 an hour!) and he said "they will be challenging you for your hours so those of you who are not performing will find they don't get any hours" They are all on zero hours contracts and it is up to the employer to dish out the hours on a weekly basis (sometimes son has shifts cancelled by text the night before) Anyway his job-hunting efforts have been stepped up. He will be available fulltime by the end of June so I think he should just stick it out until then.

Have a good day everyone

Posted on: April 22, 2012 - 8:22am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Lucky that eldest has an 8 hour contract then...  That's a bit underhand though.  I noticed that this started shortly after I left retail when I left The Git (used to work nights).  All staff had their contracts changed, and if they disagreed they were told they'd lose their jobs.  Those who'd worked nights for years ended up working days, and so lost their night premium.  Also they were contracted to work Sundays, and so didn't get double time, or time and a half (depending on whey they started).  One thing for new starters, but not for those who'd been there over ten years.

Ruthless, and for many, unfair.

Hazeleyes, with the pool here, children have to use the relevant changing room from age 8 - just in case there are similar rules there? 

Hopeful, hope today is as productive as you want it to be Cool 

Posted on: April 22, 2012 - 11:45am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Good afternoon all. Well, last night I had a word with friend. I was right all along. The partner is puttting a stop to son coming here, for no reason whatsoever except he wants him with him!! He also apparantely is threatened by me!!! Why? Friend said it's because she enjoys coming here, and again, he doesn't like it!! A control freak through and through. I'm guessing his aim is, keep the boy away, and eventually she'll drift away too? Anyhow, she got a cab home, and I rang the house to make sure she arrived back okay. The pig answered, I asked for her, he said 'you woke me up'. I asked if she was home, he said he didn't know really crossly, and put the phone down!!! I then texted her and told her what had happened. Not heard anything back, oh well. When we were speaking about things last night, I said that he is trying to alienate her from not only friends but family too, and he is going to do the same with the son. Not allowed friends at theirs, and now stopping him from coming here. Why on earth would a parent do that to a child for God's sake? One minute she says she loves him, then she doesn't. Such a strong character, and yet, she allows this to happen. I'm angry on her behalf I think.

Posted on: April 22, 2012 - 1:03pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

It's hard.Hazeleyes. As for feeling threatened he probably thinks she might be want to become a single parent too if she is friends with you! All you can do is be supportive and keep her confiding in you so she is NOT as isolated as he might want her to be.

Posted on: April 22, 2012 - 3:05pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Awww.  That is so very sad.  I'm so glad you spoke to her though. xxx

Posted on: April 22, 2012 - 4:25pm
Hopeful
DoppleMe

More productive day today - not that I got half done of what needs to! But I have an almost sorted kitchen. Friend taking my ironing tomorrow (she is so lovely!). Decided not to let No3 son's attitude to stuff influence my doings - there were tons of sleeping bags outside and it rained - i told him about ten times to get them in so they could try and he always said later later later then fell asleep on the sofa. Got them in myself and am not in bad mood over it. yippeeh! :-)

Complex Care Module tomorrow! Scary! :-)

Friend of mine has just become a grandmother and she wants to go see the granddaughter - in Bristol. She's scared to driver herself, so was going on a coach and I said I'd take her instead. So we'll be going west on Tuesday!

Thinking of you all! xxx

Posted on: April 22, 2012 - 10:08pm
littleredhen
DoppleMe

Still having trouble posting - I can't seem to post more than a couple of times and can't use emoticons - I use internet explorer

Posted on: April 23, 2012 - 6:53am
Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi littleredhen, I have just spoken with our wizard and he asks what version of internet explorer you are using? You can find this out by clicking 'Help' and then 'About'.

When you say that you can't post more than a couple of times, do you mean that you get logged out?

Are you able to see the emoticons, but just not be able to use them?

Posted on: April 23, 2012 - 2:22pm
Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi everyone, happy Mondays! - (great name for a band perhaps!!)

hazeleyes, your friend is lucky to have you. It is great that you were able to have a decent honest discussion, however please look after yourself through this, as your friend might be on a very rocky path. Sometimes we can be so keen to help our friends 'see the light' that we end up getting hurt because we offer lots of well thought out advice which falls on deaf ears, or our friend becomes defensive and this can be really frustrating.

Re: changing rooms,I was wondering that if the pools policy is 8 years old, I wonder if C and the other lad his age, could go in together. I have always thought boys tend to be put in these situations more than girls - like urinals, why wouldn't they want their own cubicle for a pee?? Surprised

Hi Hopeful, how is the Complex Care module going? I hope you are not procrastinating and reading the One Space boards Wink Have a safe journey to Bristol. We are based in Bristol, so give us a wave if you see us! If you need any top tips give me a shout!

sparklinglime - well done for clearing the Year end Laughing. I think we have to support our childrens decisions at this age. I know we have steered, taught and directed their whole lives, but I guess they have to take the reins. You say that you are worried about his career... do you know how much people get paid for marketing materials? I bet the person that came up with the 'Orange' square (do you remember that, they were everywhere and had everyone talking) got paid hundereds of thousands.

I know that our designers get paid probably the most money out of all of us working here. I think it all sounds very exciting!

 

Posted on: April 23, 2012 - 2:39pm
Hopeful
DoppleMe

Ha, Anna, that would be nice, but I'm taking a friend to see her new granddaughter, so that's the only sight I'll see!

Complex Care Module very complex. We've been put into groups (and I've got the best group ever) and have to give a presentation every other week about a case study. Our group tends to overcomplicate things though... so maybe it's not as complex as it seems!

Wishing everyone a great day!

Posted on: April 23, 2012 - 3:07pm