This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Enjoy your evening littleredhen. You'll be absolutely fine. We're here for you. xx
I'm not surprised you feel worn out hazeleyes, you've been poorly.
I've not done anything today. We're all spread about the house.
I think Christmas is a lonely time - or emphasises it anyway.
Watching the top christmas songs, which I think is helping - and figuring that 9.15pm is too early to go to bed...
Morning everyone things seem to be getting back to nomal kids are not so demanding just getting on with playing with their new toys, which is good. The children hasnt had one phone call off their dad to wish them a merry christmas or see how they enjoyed the day, im disgusted, my eldest sons dad finally phoned yesterday at 7pm hardley able to string a sentence together, my son was really disappionted he said why bother phoning at all woops!!!
Ah well turkey curry today then thats the last of the turkey, really enjoyed it this year, cant believe how expensive they are, whats everyone else up to today?
Hello everybody
Sounds as if everything is calming down after the festive bit, Sparkling, I think you are right, it can be a lonely time. And many of us are very tired, especially if we have been the only adult involved in it all and if we have been poorly.
I also agree with Hazeleyes: people don't think. If we decide to speak to people about Christmas then we cannot expect them to take hints or be one step ahead; they are involved in their own little worlds. So if we want an invite, better to say in about September "I would really love it if X happpened this Christmas, I feel hurt when I do not get invited and do not get a Christmas call, can we talk about how this could be better for me this year?" It is a bit like the Catch22 when you are in a relationship and you want the other person to be more romantic but you sort of feel that TELLING them spoils it because it "should" be their idea. But if the hinting/hoping technique has never worked, try something different! (sorry, off my soapbox now )
Little red hen I would not encourage anyone to wallow in unhaoppiness for years after a break up and yes, there does come a time when we need to pick ourselves up again but heck, you have only been separated a few weeks and if you are to come through this stronger and wiser, one of the neccessary things is the grieving process. In our culture we are brought up to believe that sadness is wrong. It isn't. it is the normal human response to hurtful events, and you need to go through the stages in order to heal. I have met people in my counselling work that haven't done this and they remain bitter and really unhappy many years later. So, let yourself be sad, and don't worry, it IS the the right thing......and we are here to stand by your side as you go through the process.
Hope you all have a decent day: elle, trying hard, Mich, sparkling, Hazeleyes, little red hen,Bella, Hopeful and everyone else who visits here. I am taking my eldest to the train at lunchtime, then driving with friend to visit his grandchildren who are almost four and just one. Earplugs at the ready!
Good morning all. Trying hard, I'm glad despite everything you all had a great Christmas. I'm sure your son was disappointed in his dad, but he'll be just fine as he has you. As for the other dad, he was probably off sulking somewhere because you didn't have him there. You hurt for the kids, but they've had a fantastic time, so in the end, again, it is him that loses out. Enjoy the turkey curry.
Sparkling, I've not listened to one Christmas carol the past few days. I did ask C if he wanted them on, but his answer was no, and I thought I'd get too emotional, so I didn't bother. How are yours feeling today? I wish I could shake off whatever I have, just to have one good week before school.
What's everyone's plans for today? Louise, is your eldest still around for the week? Hope you're all having fun together.
littleredhen, how are you this morning?
C is still in bed, but already told him I shall be ironing today. No kidding, the pile is so high. If I can get some done at least, then I'm half way there.
Louise, our posts crossed, so now I know what you're doing today, and also about your eldest, hehe. Have a good day, and yes, definately take the earplugs!!!
About Christmas, I did in fact mention it to my sister (the local one), I actually told her weeks back that I would get a cab over to her, and her words were, 'Oh I nearly dropped the phone'. She knows how I feel about just C and I on our own, but this is the same sister that told me a while back that it isn't her fault that I'm a single mum!!! I wouldn't mind a comment like that, but not once have I ever asked her for anything, and yet any problems with her, I'm there like a shot. She also never gets C anything for birthdays or Christmas, her own nephew, and yet she has three children, all grown up now, but for each birthday, christmas, and easter, they always had something from me, until they reached the age of sixteen. I've spoken to her about this, and her answer is, 'I have my grandchildren'. Yes, fair comment, but a fiver would not break her bank, or even a pound selection box from Iceland. Just a little thought. My other sister is gobsmacked by it all. She lives further out, has a small bungalow, and has her children and grandchildren for Christmas. I've spoken to her about stuff too, as I put her up in my two bedroom flat one year with her son, daughter and partner. We squashed in, but it doesn't seem to work when it is me that wants to squeeze in at hers!!!
I'm sounding bitter I know, and that's because I do feel bitter toward them at times. Sorry, not a good start to the day. A sore subject for me, hehe.
Thanks for the support and kind words Louise (although you made me cry again!)
and everyone else who has been so wonderful this Christmas
Hazeleyes you know there are givers and takers in this world and i think we are all the givers on here - the takers are the ones we have left behind - they are busy taking from someone else at this time of year!
I would rather be a giver so today i am letting you all know that i got up in a more positive frame of mind and took my girls shopping with the gift cards they received and we got some nice stuff (well i say we but i mean they!)
I would like to give everyone on here a hug and send you all some positive vibes for today and say to you all be kind to yourselves because you are worth it - even though you may be finding life tough yourselves you send messages to others to help them through their darkest moments - so thank you to all those of you that have listened to me for the last few days/weeks and i hope that something good comes your way as you deserve it - i am getting a bit sickly now so i will stop!!!
meant to say my user name is a bit long - on another board people call me lrh!
feel free if its easier!
lrh it is then
Have tackled the ironing, left a few bits only, so my frustration with the world has now gone, lol. My sister rang me, said her Christmas was just like a normal day too, urrrgghhh, don't think so, she had hubby, 3 children, 6 grandchildren, total chaos all day, drinks and games all evening. Of course I know she was only saying this to make me feel better (didn't work). lrh, you're right, some people are takers, and I agree with you that we on One Space are all givers. Do you think that's to do with us being single parents? Our own families and 'real' friends haven't got a clue, even though we speak to them constantly, and I for one voice my concerns to them, loneliness etc, and yet, come to the crunch, and some just don't care. As long as they are all happy living in their bubbles, then what the heck eh. Still, we did all survive another year, and like Louise always says, we all do deserve a pat on our backs for doing the best for our children, despite the absent parents. Glad you're having a better day, and am sure the kids loved spending their vouchers. I think I'm going to bath and once dressed go out, if only to the little corner shop, or something. Blow the cobwebs away, and come back full of the joys of playing games!!! Aarrgghhhh.
Afternoon all...
Well, I have had one of the best Christmases I've ever had really...Chrisdtmas Eve i went to my friend's and helped her wrap her last few presents...Christmas day we went to my other friend's parents, which was lovely...great food, company, peaceful and fun! Then Boxing day I was working until 6pm, then went to my other friend's where we played some games too...
Today I have just dropped my daughter off at the station as she is going with my H to his Mother's for a couple of days...so I'm meeting my single parent Mum friend later, and yet another friend tomorrow...( working again Thursday)...
Hope you're all feeling ok...at least we are over the hurdle now..
lrh, keep posting, we will all have down days, but we are here to support each other...It's still very early days for you yet...so don't be so hard on yourself...
Hugs to all xx
Well done for clearing the ironing hazeleyes.
I'm still trying to find the living room - which I know should be a novelty. Most of the mess is by the youngest who hasn't been well.
Daughter still asleep and fifteen year old is finishing off his model. He has another four to do after that, so I guess we won't be seeing him any time soon this year!
Really need to sort out a new budget. MP has arranged for CAB to contact me for a home visit, which will be ideal as I can't park by the offices in town. I think working 16 hours is ok as I'm a Carer (youngest is 13 in February). I think thing work out similar then, on minimum wage with paying having to pay most of the rent and council tax now anyway.
All my money's gone into housekeeping. Eldest is spending his, when I told him he should put half away. I don't blame him really...
Christmas day was lovely, I have to say. Even doing it all, it was ok! Just back to where ever I am, the children are in other rooms. I must have been the same Thank goodness for the internet. I would be lost without the contact.
Christmas Day here was great, in the fact that C had a fantastic day. Of course I did, watching his face as he opened the presents, and the playing of games. I think I'm feeling a bit low because of the way I'm feeling, healthwise I mean. I stressed out too much over the mess, as it's a small flat, and then it seems just cluttered, and it does get me down. Also the fact that C isn't eating as he should be for his age. All the chocs, biscuits, nibbly stuff, and he still didn't pig out as a 'normal' child. I've been round shop and got him some nesquick, as he doesn't drink milk (like me). Have told him he is going to eat little and often. I'm a worrier I know.
Your son really enjoys the model stuff doesn't he Sparkling? Will you get him another for his birthday? Bless him. Hope the youngest is feeling better. Is your daughter not well, or just tired?
How's everyone else today? Dare I ask what everyone is doing New Year's Eve?
Forgot to say it's a great idea for CAB to pay you a visit. Hopefully, they can help you. My fingers will be crossed for you Sparkling.
We talked earlier about people that take take take. Well I've just had a phone call from C's half sisters Mum. Not spoken to her since earlier this year, she absolutely drained me emotionally before that, then out of the blue she sent something for myself and C for Christmas. Anyhow, now I know why. She is desperate for prescribed meds, which her doctor has cut her down on, and she has phoned me to go to my Drs, say I need them, and post them to her for money. She has also said she will fill in a benefit form for disability for me (I was turned down earlier this year) Apparantely she has done this for her son (19) and her daughter (17). It sickens me. We spoke about the children's father, and I knew she was in touch with him. I have found out that he moved hotel, got another contract, and is still living in Spain. He refers to C and her daughter as his son and daughter, so in anger I told her that C will never be his son, and I am in a relationship, very happy, etc etc. The pig sent her daughter a card with a couple of pounds in for Christmas, and told her he'd done the same for C. Just like last year, and just like last year, C has received zilch. Not that he or I are bothered. So, yes, I'm ruddy fuming right now, that she thinks she can contact me, and ask for such a thing. Well, I've played along with her, so she thinks she's getting the prescription, and hey presto, none will arrive.
sorry, rant over.
Am going to bed now much to C's disgust. Can't please anyone today.
Hope you've all had a good day. xx
Hello everyone
Mich I was so glad to read about your Christmas! LRH you are doing great and just one day at a time....baby steps as Sparkling says
Sparkling I do think it is normal for teens to just disappear off on their own....what gets me is that youngest can be watching the same programme as me, and still prefer to watch it upstairs, it is not that we don't get on, we are very close but they just want to CHILL.
Hazeleyes....hmmm we did wonder about C's half sister's mum, didn't we? What an absolute cheek to ask you to break the law like that, it would be tantamount to "supplying" drugs in terms of penalties. So you have just fibbed and said ok then to get rid of her have you? And who is she intending to impersonate to sign your disability form? Stay well clear! well, you knew that already
The thing about your sister....you have clearly been assertive and she has not bothered so there is no more you can do. How upsetting and hurtful though! All we can do is to keep our own standards going and to think "I am better than that" WHICH YOU ARE. Not surprised you want to go to bed early!!!!!!!!
I have had a hectic afternoon, two little tornadoes. Time for feet up, methinks.
I'm stunned hazeleyes. I think her number needs to be blocked? That's just awful.
Hope you're chilling Louise
Hazeleyes - don't let this spoil your holiday. xx
Agreed....hazeleyes...don't let her get to you...
sparkling how're you?
I hope you've had some relaxing time now Louise..
Good morning all. I'm sure after the visit to the little people Louise, you deserved to put your feet up hehe.
This woman is unbelievable isn't she? Sparkling you're right, I was going to change my number but a block would be better wouldn't it? I guess one good thing out of the call was I now know where the 'pig' is. In another resort, but still working in Spain. Something has obviously been going on, as she now feels sorry for this man. Well, call me a hard faced cow, but I don't.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Hi,
hazel, what a cheek! how dare this woman demand such a thing. its illegal and would only come back to bite you and she wold claim innocence. stay well away from her. On second thoughts go see your doctor or hers and let them know. if she is hell bent on getting them she may succeed elsewhere. what if she overdosed? she may need dependency help if doc says she cannot have more. GRR for you.
Can you use the "spain" info with csa?
Sparkling-my other children went to their room to also watch same tv prog as me. its a teen thing i think. they know where you are.
Mich-glad you had a great xmas. mine was ok but boxing day was blooming awful.
Lrh- givers and takers-i agree. Ive lived in a large number of places in UK and when i leave i have been known to give most of possessions away. its too dear to move heavy items so i rebuy cooker,fridge,washer etc when i can afford it. Life does pay you back but you mustnt give just to recieve. I recently met a lovely woman who let me buy something (in the night paper) for half price and may well become a good friend. Although i had to borrow from bill money, i think she was "sent" as i was at a low. Lets hope so.
I think im going out for a drink on new yrs eve! first time in about ten yrs.I HAVE to go out as ex and i always stayed in.Just hope ex hubs parents will have child to stay.
Hope you all have a good day. thinking of you all. Im working next three days but will try to pop on here.Keep warm.
Hello everyone
It's a bit blustery here today and probably with all of you too.
Hope you are feeling a bit calmer this morning, Hazeleyes, you were clearly very angry last night. AS you say, though, at least you know You Know Who is still in Spain, best to let sleeping dogs lie there, eh?
Chilling, yes I put my feet up last night and what was even stranger was that youngest went on a sleepover, so from both of them literally rampaging round the night before, I had a Slient Night.
What are you all up to? One of the things on my agenda is to do three months statistics for the counelling service where I work.However, I have a night out with friends later, to look forward to
Hi Louise. I have sent you a rather lengthy e.mail regarding tax etc. I hope you don't mind. Just reading your post and can see you've a busy day ahead, so now I'm feeling guilty, but there is no rush honest!!! Hope you enjoy your night out with friends.
Well meeting another friend today as my daughter is with my H and his OW at his Mother's..so taking my mind off things...
Working tomorrow until 7pm..
I hope you have a lovely evening Louise...
hazeleyes,hope you are feeling a bit better today too..
Bella, don't work too hard, and hope you have a good New Year's eve..sorry that Boxing day was horrid though.
How're you both sparkling and lrh?
I must do Scout accounts
I must do Scout accounts
I must do Scout accounts....!!!
Oh yes, and buy dog food.
Hazel eyes, good luck with the tax. Ive just done the decent thing and rang up tax credits to tell them my income was lower than thought. (went to almost half). they have informed me that as i get 24p per mile i drive i am to be taxed on the refund. I basically pay tax on petrol and then tax on the very small refund of petrol money. Not only am i paying about £100 wk to work im being told to pay more now. I dont even know if i will get more tax credits either, due to having a lower income. he wouldnt say but i have to wait until i get the mail next year. (if i stop working due to financial reasons he said i will only get child tax credits of 59£ wk to live on. comforting to know im paying to help government recover some recession money).
Can today get worse? maybe i will have a car crash later on just to make sure the day is utterly terrible. Hope its not fatal as ex gets the house paid off and my half too probably!!
I put a wash on and spilt conditioner in wrong drawer then burst into tears. Just glad none of the children are here. (Oh i have eaten just before ringing tax credits. it isnt settling in stomach). Sorry to moan.
Not sure where to turn next.
Got the job to come off benefits-worse off.
Stuck in house as ex wont sell till two yrs have passed as he wont get penalties then. cant afford to stay in house so need council place.
Cant get council place as have roof over head.
Any advice as to next step greatly recieved as i cant see way out.
Bella. Money makes life a nightmare. It did when I was married too, so I can't really say much about now as I know I have been so lucky.
The stresses though...
Having had seven car crashes (not my fault, I put it down to my magnetic personality... Three were serious ones), I wouldn't even think down that route as it can be so life changing.
WTC stink. I wish claiming them wasn't an option as they messed things up when I was married.
Sending loads and loads of hugs your way and really do hope your day gets better.
The dog has now had her breakfast.
I also have the Scout box by my side. I'd shoved it in the store room in the Scout hut out of the way while all the rubbish was going on here.
sending you a hug Bella - hope someone else can offer advice
Mich hope you have enjoyed your evening out - i just had to cancel my trip with girls to my friends for an overnight tonight as weather is wild and don't want to take chances with falling trees etc - its such a shame as i could have done with the company
hazeleyes hope the steam has stopped coming out of your ears - good idea to block the number
sparkling have you started those accounts yet?!
Louise sounds fun doing stats! hope you have got something nice to do at the end of it
Well my kids are in separate rooms watching tv now and i am looking at my new 2012 calendar - not doing anything on NYE sadly - the two different friends i had hoped may invite me have told me of their plans and they don't include me so will have to decide what to do with my girls - party for three maybe!
just thinking up my NY resolutions - stop thinking about him will be the first one!
have a good day everyone - will pop in later
Bella I really think the next thing on the list needs to be legal advice. you can get legal advice from our own Expert once she is back on January 3rd.
LRH I haven't started my stats yet but I have some Maltesers at the ready to have afterwards
Have I started? No. Done to online jigsaws though And I've opened a tin of Quality Streets.
I will get them done today. I'll probably think about it for another six hours or so though...
I never used to be like this!
At least I have fed my friends cat
Bella, I'm so sorry to hear about your bad day. I don't know what to suggest at all, expect like Louise says, contact the expert here on One Space. You must be worried sick, and like you say, you've gone back to work for a bit better life, and it hasn't turned out that way for you.
Sparkling, buckle down to those accounts. QUICK MARCH!!
lrh, sorry your evening has been cancelled, but better to be safe than sorry eh. A party for 3 sounds lovely. It's a party for 2 here on Saturday!
Louise, thankyou. Have a great night out. Hope you have room for food after the maltesers.
Not done anything about blocking phone yet, but I will do. Strict instructions to C not to answer phone, and I'm doing 1471. I'm sure she'll ring tonight to see how it went at the Drs Speaking of which, I'm going to get emergency appointment for tomorrow. I need to start feeling better before work next week, so maybe she'll give some antibiotics. Keep you posted.
Have been very energetic here. Played tennis (lost), bowling (won) baseball (lost) golf (wii told me to give up ) How rude was that, don't you think!!!! Now sitting to watch Emmerdale, something to eat, bath and bed I think. Tidied round a bit, so it's presentable for me to be able to relax in. Am loving the tree being up, but the cards are now starting to collect dust. When do you all take them down? New Years Day is normally my day.
traditionally supposed to be twelth night to take down decorations but i also do it on New Years Day
Gradually take them down here so they're kept by the 6th.
Having said that, I think it will take about half an hour to keep them this year as there are hardly any up.
dear sparkling,lrh, louise and hazel,
I have emailed the experts on the site but they not back till next year. I have a fear that all answers will come at once and i wont have made the best choices. I have to do whats best at the time for us though.
Hoping to reduce work hours. reduce income slightly but really reduce petrol costs. wftc and tc are at set levels the staff member said. i dont gain.
must go to bed. not sleeping anyway. must try to rest as working first thing. need to wash hair then got job and emergency health matter to follow up.
nightie night.
Bella, I hope you get a good nights sleep ready to face another day.
Friend called round, so my early night has gone out of the window. She's not long left, C just in bed, so am having 5 mins on my own. It was lovely to see her though. Wanted to get up early to get appointment for GP, but might have to do that mid morning now.
Hope you're all okay, and tucked up in your beds.
You must insist on GP appointment hazeleyes, so anti-biotics kick in...
I seem to be nagging loads today!
Heh heh sparkling lime, we are quite happy to nag you back, especially about ACCOUNTS Although you can nag me back, as I have done most of the stats but not finished them
Bella, the experts are back from the break in only FIVE DAYS so sit tight. Good luck with sorting out your health matter.
Hazeleyes, is your cough still bad? You do need to see the doctor if so. Hope you didn't get a phone call last night.
I had a nice night out last night with three friends, one of those Chinese set meals where you can have bits of everything. My friend is "in" with the manager so we got a free drink each, teehee.
How is everyone this morning and what plans?
Morning Louise - sounds like you had a nice evening. My eldest told me last night she wanted to do nothing today - i said a bit like every other day this holiday then! not sure as ex is having them tomorrow - youngest does want to do something but doesn't know what - i am not wanting to sit about the house doing nothing and i have been asked to go into work two days next week so want to make the most of my time off - feel i have to go to work as my boss has been amazing and so supportive and she really needs my support next week so my turn to repay the favour. anyway lacking motivation and enthuisiasm today - lying in bed reading my book and chatting on here - must try and come up with something that pleases both of them - what am i saying that is near impossible!! have a good day everyone
Yes, it is an impossible task LRH Still we get through, that's the main thing. My boy is not working today but we have already had The Big Disco in our street, that is his friend coming to collect some stuff, with car radio at a million decibels.
Ah yes, when the house throbs... I used to live on the side (literally) of the "old" main road across Anglesey and you could hear the base with music long before you saw the car! And that was a few years back now. Main A55 opening did change things.
I'm so glad you had a good evening out Louise.
I had hoped to get all the adults involved with the Scout group out before Christmas, but with all that was going on with the house here I was shattered. Unfortunately, its not going to be an option for me now.
LRH, I hope you've come up with a plan. I've just taken my boys out for a haircut, and then sorted friends cat out (cat wasn't speaking to me today. Just sat on the back of the settee giving me filthy looks!). So I've had some fresh air!
Son's car isn't being too good at starting, so I might have to take him in to work.
I hope you've managed to see the GP hazeleyes.
Hi all. Glad you had a good evening Louise. lrh, did you come up with something to do today? Sparkling, you've just reminded me I need to get C's haircut, still got time though.
Got an appointment. I have a chest infection, which is obviously why I wasn't picking up! Told GP not to nag me, as he was going on about me leaving it so long, just as I did the last time. He's really sweet actually, knows all the family, and also knows the stress and aggro they put me through after Mum died. He was asking me if I'd seen any of them over Christmas Anyhow, should be on mend properly by Sunday. C is being a pain in the bum, so I was off on one, saying how I'd given him a good Christmas, playing with him, even though I didn't feel well, blah blah blah.
Phone company make a monthly charge for blocking phone, and I honestly don't want to change my number, so am going to get a message through to this woman, and hopefully she won't bother ringing me again.
Ooh I didn't realise there is a charge for that. Ok well as long as she doesn't start to pester you. Poor you with the chest infection, glad you have some treatment now. Do we have to put "nagging to go to docs" on our list ? (I already have it in my diary that I am allowed to nag you about Christmas 2012 from April....heh heh)
Sparkling, well done on the haircuts. My boy just had cheese on toast and went out to play footy in the lashing rain
I HAVE DONE THE STATS
Well done on finishing the stats Louise. You're as perfect as Sparkling Yes, I do think I need nagging over Drs visits too When it comes to myself, I am terrible. I always think I'll get over it, and then of course it gets worse. I'm wishing now I had gone before Christmas, might have enjoyed it more. Still, got time to make up for it before C and I go back to school. I also remembered to tell the Dr that earlier this year, I had to cancel my pre-cancer checkup appointment. Not sure if you all remember, but I left a message on their phone. Anyhow, I didn't hear about another appointment, which is odd, so I rang them, only to be told I'd have to be referred as a New Patient again, as I hadn't cancelled!!! Me being me, I'd left it and left it, knowing full well I needed the checkup, so I told the GP this morning. He was so angry, firstly at what they'd done to me, knowing I'd been a patient for years, and knowing that I needed these checkups, and secondly because he said, the referrals cost the GP practice, out of their budget, £150, which is why the hospitals are doing it!!! Anyhow, he's done a letter now, but in future I shan't be leaving messages on machines, as he said this is a con. They do get the messages of course, but just use the excuse, in order to get the referrals. Absolutely disgusting isn't it?
blooming insomnia followed by nights of nightmares of ex.
He wants to know how i am. im not saying anything back. he does this and then we talk n fight. dejavu!
Hazeleyes, hope you get better as soon as possible. Sending good healing thoughts.
That's not good Bella. I suffer from insomnia too. I probably know what's on night time tele than daytime.
Now hazeleyes, set reminders on your mobile to remember to take those antibiotics. Glad you've been and glad your GP is lovely and sorting things out. I think that matters so much - and is why I never go near mine.
MiL phoned to cancel New Year's Day dinner. She fell before Christmas and sprained her ankle and cut her shin. Her shin isn't healing very well and it hurts to stand. I'm really sorry she'd not so good, but glad the meal's cancelled as if she made a point of telling me not to contact The Git if we need money I would have answered her back (have NEVER asked him for anything - and not about to start!). She expects daughter to support her brother through college... Anyhow, seeing her on Tuesday as her car's in the garage for a couple of hours.
I have Scouty stuff everywhere. Small receipts have been taped onto A4 and loads of stuff has been scribbled out (shredder broke, can't afford to replace it) and ripped to bits. Two bin bags full. All Scouty certs in a hanging file and Cubby certs in another. Even have a hanging file for my training stuff. So I've not finished, but am on the way...
Well done Louise - you are
enjoy your soaps hazeleyes and hopefully i will be back tomorrow with a more positive outlook - night x