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does anyone else feel totally humiliated, used and rejected by their ex partner? this is what i feel at the moment, and i just feel like im the only one going through it!
Hi misha hope you are well no you are not the only one,i felt humiliated by my sons dad and he was constatantly calling me fat and ugly which still affects me now as i have issues with the way i look,but i am trying,sorry your ex partner has made you feel like that and i wish i could offer you some advice,im sure there are lots of people on here who feel and have felt the way you do but dont worry you are not the only one x
I am a believer that times a healer and as the time goes on itl hurt less and you may begin to feel better about it,but theres no time limit so you just concentrate on your self and making yourself happy,and one day itl all be just a distant memory to you,
Hello Misha
No hun all those feelings you are going through are natrual and we all have in some way been there and felt them i know i have.
When you see some one you loved treat you in a way you though they never would.
Its all part of the healing process and i know it may not feel like it now but in time things change you find yourself and gain your respect and self belief in that you will survive and do things your way now.
Yes its painful and theres a lot of mixed feelings like a roller coster that you can not get off but you will come out the other side a stronger woman.
I have its not easy i was used and left with three children a mountin of debt and a toxic ex but you do get there 
you find your own routine.
All the best keep posting and there will be lots of support from people who have been in simular positions to you.
Stuart
yeah that would be good i think, it does help when other people know what you've been through, maybe we can support each other!!
thanks to everyone who's replied, i dont feel so alone now :)
Hello Misha,
Yes we are all here to support each other...and that is the thing, you just feel very alone going through this, but you're not...we are here for a chat and an ear to listen...
Hi misha1983, how are you doing this week, what is going on for you?
Do you still see your ex?
sorry i didnt reply, i cant seem to find my threads! im ok thanks, my daugher turned 7 months this week and i think the teething has started again, hence the disturbed sleep! it's all fun and games!
no i dont see my ex at all and he has never seen my daughter. so you can understand how hurt i am, i'm actually waiting to have councelling about it all because i haven't really spoken to anyone about it but feel like i need to.
hi misha 1983 yes you will feel hurt as your little one is young . its hard to deal with our partners change and dont seem to want to be a full time father anymore . i know i did feel that way and when i did see him he did say that the kids werent his number one anymore . that was hard and his today also hard as for what he as done till teh court case is over he is not able to see our one son but can the other and as not tried . though i wouldnt allow one to go without the other it still hurts .
can your ex see your daughter if he wanted ?
yes counselling is good and least you can talk about it and it be good for you. have you got anyone like a family memeber or friend who you can lean on ?
he could see her if her wanted to, i certainley haven't stopped him but like i said, there is no contact whatsoever and obviously he wants nothing to do with he, otherwise he would have contacted me as he knows my number.
i try and think of it as being a blessing in disguise, its better the way things are now then to have someone like that who would only hurt and let down my daughter. still hurts though!
i dont have much support as i have a really small family and its only my dad who i feel i can talk to about stuff like this. to be honest, i'd rather talk to someone who didnt know me or someone who has been in a similar situation.
Hi misha1983
Are you on a waiting list for counselling and do you know how long the list is? Glad you are able to come on here and talk to us. Do you go to any Mum and baby groups? Your Health Visitor would know what is in your area 
well this site seems really good as somtimes us single parents feel forgotten about, its good site's like this exist.
yeah i have been reffered for cbt therapy and they said it shouldnt be too long wait. i do occasionaly go to a sure start centre but i felt a bit 'left out' in their classes as it seemed everyone already knew each other, do you know what i mean or is it just me being paranoid, lol!!
Yep I know exactly what you mean, and that is rather lax of the organiser not to include you more. One thing that really helps in those groups is if you can provide a "talking point".....look around the group and ask questions of people, they always want to talk about their child for example, you could ask how old their child is. or you could compliment them on something eg what they are wearing. If they then start talking to another parent smile along and say to the other person "Hello I am misha, what's your name?" or if you have had a longer chat to person number one, you could ask them (or the organiser) to introduce you to the others...you can also say sorry I am a bit quiet, I feel shy because I don't know anyone, and with any luck there will be someone who takes you under their wing.
Have a look at our article Making New Friends
Fingers crossed for the counselling
Hi misha1983, Louise has made some great suggestions about how to deal with feeling like an outsider at these kind of groups. I used to feel very paranoid that people could see how 'crap' I was, but trust me, most people just care about themselves. If you think about a situation where you have been in the majority, who are you more likely to chat with the shy quiet, unsure of herself person, or the bright, sparkly, I love life person? Someone once said this to me, so then I spent a year trying to act like a friend of mine who I thought was really confident. It was really therapeutic!
I think we have all felt that rejection and despair when we have realised that our ex isn't the man or father (woman or mother - for our dad readers) that we thought they would be.
Sometimes we need to admit to ourselves that we created them to be something that they weren't and then we can only look to ourselves for comfort rather than be upset at them.
My daughter doesn't see her father anymore and I think sometimes, if they are not prepared to be amicable then, him being completely out of the picture has made our little family a much happier one.
You are in control of your destiny and it is going to be a good one. Now is a great time to reach out to as many places as possible to find support. Do you still have a health visitor? If so, perhaps she could introduce you to someone locally who you could make friends with?
sometimes though i feel like the groups are a bit 'clicky' and when that happens, i just loose interested altogether and end up leaving the class. i think its got a lot to do with the fact i was bullied and left out by these people on purpose, so anything like where i feel its happening again brings it all back. right now im at a place where i dont want to associate with people much, ive been hurt and see people as a threat..maybe one day this will change as i know not all people mean bad.
i have got an appointment for my cbt therapy, and there's some sports activities for parents in the childrens centre i use that i may possibly be able to get involved in as a voluntary instructor so at least its a start!
Ooh that sounds good! When is does the therapy start? And what kind of sports activities are the childrens centre going to lay on?
my first app is for next week, its good i didnt have to wait too long either as the waiting time for cbt apparently is long!
not sure what they intend to do, probably things like zumba im guessing, i mentioned to them that im do boxing so i could teach it but i doubt they would be insured for black eyes and bruises ;)
hi misha 1983 that sounds good cbt i do zumba and it is fun though this side xmas i have not been but will go back to it after. doing things does help and i hope you get counselling sorted soon
Hi misha1983, have you had your first cbt yet? I think it is this week? I hope that you can keep open minded. It won't fix any problems instantly, but it will definitely give you some food for thought.
Boxing eh?! Cool, do you still practice?
Hello misha1983
There are a number of people on here who have expressed this and I wonder if it would be helpful if I posted links to a couple of threads where you can read about other peoples' experience and add your own thoughts?
Here, and here and here