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aw it is a pity we are miles away from each other,i am gutted anova relationship failed cos of him, he must of never loved me, he as threatend to drag me sorry ass his words thru court enuf times so we will see,il av ur number thank u hunxx
i do get lonely but im use to being on my own, i av been miserable for ages wiv my ex, ups and downs and being let down and threats and intimidation and harassment,xx
hi hun feel panicky now, its mad how 1 voice message on house fone off ex can send me in a panic, my fone is unplugged alot and i av new mobile number, he ad left message today, only just read it , he said will i plug fone bk in and ansa fone and speak to him regarding his dawter ovawise im just gona cum up bye,thts wot he said, just in tht message i no theres a meaning, for astart he doesnt av contact me at all ova our dawter he cud go and see his mint barrister his words lol and go thru court, so he doesnt av leave tht message, thts it now,made mind up, gona ring police and they wil av contact my soliciter or ovaway round and get his adress and soliciter send him a warning letter, if he breaches tht i can get non molestation order, soliciter says threats not serious enuf to get 1, cudnt believe it, even tho refuge and wave say my situation serious, thts why im marrac and high risk and got alarms on all mi windows and victum support dun tht and they cum and change my locks and light in my garden, im ringinm police tomozxx
Hi kiera and marianne42. We're not permitted to put numbers or e.mail addresses on this site. Thought I should mention it, as Louise, Anna, nor Sally are on line. It's to protect everyone, but one of the moderators will explain in more detail I'm sure.
its shame tht it really is,, she wants giv me er number for a reason, there must b away we can b friends personally
maybi go on netmums and u giv me ur number on there, i go on sumtimesxx
hi let me no when ur on netmums and il go onand speak to u there,, ive just bin onx
Hi kiera
How are you doing this morning? Are you going to ring the police and get things in motion?
Yes I am sorry we cannot publish peoples' phone numbers on here, it is because it is a public domain so the number would be read not only by the person you want to give it to but by everyone. You have enough hassle with phone calls already so we would not want your number to get into other hands too. That's why we also ask people not use real names, for privacy
hi hun rang police and they said soliciter wud av to ring them to get ex adress, data protection and tht, ive rang soliciter and she ring ing police now, police wil giv er adress, i just ansa houise fone thinkin its soliciter ex answered. i put fone atriaght down he as rang bk 12 times he is till ringin now as im typing,now he as heard my voice its like oh il keep mithering er, did u read my thread on ex voice message he left, he useing our dawter as excuse for me to contact him, well it aint gona work, but it sent me in a panick, dont no why, i understand bout privacy, im not useing my real namex
Hi keira well done you for putting the phone down and staying strong about not having contact, can you unplug the house phone again, has the solicitor got your mobile number to contact you!
It is understandable that you paniced when you heard that message, this is the result of his abusive behaviour and keeping you uncertain of what he will do next, it will take time before that improves, and as some on here will tell you that initial reaction never totally goes away.
Oh and well done for going to the solicitors, thats another step forward keira, do you have plans for the Jubilee weekend?
hi i dont av plans, my daughter not well either, my 2 boys goin pics and sumat eat wiv nana lata, il prob go my mates wiv kids, ive unplugged fone, just use my mobile, ex left message wiv him breathin on it for bout 3 mins, wierd, stil part of me on edge, cant elp it, sum1 fromwave said freedum programe in my area and i shud do itx
hi why do i feel really panicky today and on edge, and i feel down, i really do ,my mate been wiv er fella years as 4 kids, he always at home,.he never lets er down i say at least u got ur fella at home, im just on my own al tym gets lonely, wish i cud meet sum1 decent and reliable, i pic idiots,im so fed up
There is lots of chance that you will meet a decent bloke next time, keira and EVEN MORE chance if you continue as you have been doing, increasing your confidence!
The Freedom Programme course is excellent because it helps you identify good and bad charcteristics, remember yesterday when we were talking about love and what it was, well it builds on that and helps you feel stronger to go forward. Did the woman from Wave say when the course near you would start?
Hi Keira,
I havent read your posts in a little while but just read them and have to say WELL DONE!!! I can see in the couple of weeks I havent been reading a lot has changed in you. You called police on ex, you saw solicitor and after his message instead of getting yourself in to a state you made the step to give his address your solicitor - that is a massive achievement.
You will have days where you will feel panicky and on edge and that is the anxiety. I am still suffering anxiety 6 years after leaving my ex! If your not already, then go and see your GP for something to calm you down, it will really help you to see things more clearly. If I wouldnt have done that I dont think I would have got through the last 5 years x Good luck
HI I FEEL SO DOWN TODAY, i shyd go gps i no, i never go, my soliciter as sent warning letter to my ex, he wil get it tomoz, so why am i nervvous bout wot his reaction wil b, im scared to b honest, letter says stay away from my area and my house and dont txt or ring or court action and if he wants c his daughter c a soliciter, wot if he turns up at sum point , wot if im not quick enuff to get my fone out and ring police, ive been dead paranoidx
and there isnt a date yet for freedom programme, but get date thru postx
Hi kiera, it is completely normal and understandable for you to feel more scared at this point because you know what he is capable of and you also know that he is not going to like the letter. I remember feeling exactly the same way.
This weekend just be on guard, you have to do everything to protect yourself. Keep your phone in your pocket or in your hand. Are you going to stay at your friends tonight? Remember that if you do feel particularly scared you can call the Domestic Abuse Hotline 0808 200 247 and perhaps go and stay in a refuge over the bank holiday.
Now is the time to use all the help you can get, gp, police, solicitors, womens aid and childrens centre.
Can I just say from me to you, briliant well done for finding the strength to go back to the solicitor and get that letter sent, it took a lot of courage and right now it might feel all wrong and confusing, but it is one of the best things you have done. So high 5 from me.
aw thanks hun, feel like cryin yet all last weekend i seemed ok and even my 18 year old daughter said i luked happy, yet when i heard tht message yest ive gon bk to feeling down and anxiousx
Of course you will sweetie - it really is 2 steps forward one step back. You have been strong and then you were knocked back by the solicitors, you have made another step but then you heard his voice and his threats - horrible. Anyone threatening you is horrible let alone the father of your baby and soemone who you care deeply for.
Just be kind to yourself, tell yourself it is ok that I feel down, it is normal and this will pass.
but his message wasnt threatening just way he says it, and normaly he always rings off witheld alltime yet today strange he is ringin off his mobile number, is tht anova 1 of his games
He does seem to have a lot of games he plays, kiera, and even though he did not say anything threatenting in the message, you felt unsettled, because he mentioned your daughter.
How are you this morning?
hi last nyt i was tht paranoid i didnt even open back door to let dog out , i didnt want to in case he was in garden, sumat he dun bfore twice, i was on edge last nyt, ive bin up since 5.15am wiv my little girl, she ad me up last 4 nyts out, just tired, im ok tho, my 2 boys bk dinner tym they slept at nanas, they went pictures watching men in black and went for summat eat,my mate and her fella and 4 kids cumin tomoz for dinner, so buzy tomoz lol, hopefuly b nice then kids can play in garden,
i wana go bk work, m,y last job was careing in a residential home, did nyts and plus worked in anova home doin shifts, always worked, always ad family to watch kids u c, now i dont av tht, im stuck, bin lukin part time work, my daughter can go in nursery, since my dad got ill in january, u no he ad brain hemorage and stroke,and my mum got admitted to hospital suffering stress and diabities, so no family to watch my little girl u c, i left my job on maternity in the home where i worked nights, i did 30 hrs a week, was there 2 years, cudnt go bk no1 to av kids, so want go bk work my little girl 2 in octoberx
Hi kiera yes part time does sound like a better option, if you could manage 16 hours a week then you could be on Working Tax Credit and still get some help towards the rent although you would have to pay some of it, I guess you were in that situation before, when your mum and dad were well. Sorry to hear your mum has had to go in hospital.
Hope you have a good time with your friends tomorrow 
...and that you will get a better night's sleep in the meantime!
Hi Keira,soz not been in touch,go on netmums and I can give you my number,put a post up on meet a Mum,I be happy to chat with you,solicitors r not very compassionate sometimes and I think that maybe they only in it for the money lol!!,things r not amicable yet again between my ex and I ,I was going after a job today and he bought baby back so couldnt go,not letting him get to me,make sure you log on to netmums xxthinking of you xx
Hi LilAngel,my doctor put me on a antidepressant/anti anxiety pill but 6 weeks on it not helped,GP wont give me valium or sleeping pills and at end of day as long as the problems are still there what the point of pills?xx
hi hun i just bin on netmums and meet a mum but where do i type, not a cluex
ive put post on how to meet a mum and asked for uxx
Hi hun will check now xx
Cant find you hun,go on noticeboard,meet Bexley Mums xx
Found you on Netmums,please reply xx
hi hun il go on netmumsx
Hi Marianne, sorry the anti anxiety meds not worked. I have had valium and sleeping pills in the past but I dont think they any good as they only work in short term and are addictive. I had Beta Blockers for anxiety and they were great (cant take them now because of Asthma). Anti depressants are more complicated coz they can take ages to work and you may have to try a few before you find the one best for you. Your right the problem doesnt go away, but the problem isnt going to go away whether you have meds or not. I found having something to calm me down enabled me to not let my ex get to me so much. Plus for me my anxiety/fear got so bad I was developing OCD and jumping at every noise etc but when the meds kicked in I could see more clearly just how my ex was trying to terrorise me and I felt better able to deal with it.
Having said that meds might not be for everyone. I hope you do find a succesful way of managing your anxiety as I know first hand just how awful it is x good luck x
aw cant find u hun luking but dont no where lukxx
hi found bexley mums few on there but diff names, 1 called katie, i no u cant say real names on erex
(Moderator: member has not used her real name)
Thanks for the helpful comments about medication, littleangel 
How are you this morning, keira?
How about you, marianne?
hi hun cant seem to find u on netmums,x
Hi well bit down but been worse lol,Bank Hols a time when people have get togethers but as I have no family around or friends it a tough time,jus sitting in with my lil one,my eldest has gone to a festival and rarely home,wish weather were better at least could sit in garden,thanks for your thoughts xx
Hey hun,I did post you a message on their last night ,will try again,how ru today?xxx
hi hun im same,sitting in wiv kids, while all families out, gets me down a bit, i no weather rubbish so cant go in garden, i dont no where luk for ur message, i typed in bexley mums but dont think u cum upxx
im bit down ,house fone unplugged , ex just does nt stop ringing, last nite late ringing and 1st thing this mornin, it bin unplugged ages now,my mate out wiv er family, al ive eva wanted is prop family,x
i av no messages,wot bout tht coffee house on net mums, do u go on there,x
hi found bexley mums quite a few, but dont no wot ur real name is u c, so dont want send message to wrong person ,x
Hi hun,I have a 14yr old n a 1 year old,look under that xx
You found me hun,have messaged you back xx
hi hun il luk nowxx
Hey Hun,cannot believe I cant find my phone charger,please go on Netmums n will give you my fb details so we can chat xx
Thank I was on 120mg a day of Betablockers but they didn't work,tried loads of different meds over the years but not help,am awaiting counselling but I cant queue jump,need my ex to get himself into therapy also as he flips at the slightest thing n tries to cause me trouble,we both had bad lives,main problem with anxiety is I not sleep much n makes it hard to cope with a 1 year old but my health visitor always praises me for my strength xx
hi hun im ok, my little girl ad me up agin in nyt, tired, ex rang loads tyms yest off his mobile number,even tho for ages he always rang witheld, i av fone unplugged but when i plugh it bk in he rings, upto midnyt, it be 5 weeks wed ive ad no contact wiv himx
Hi Keira,such a shame ur so far away,like you I take each day as it comes,this wont last for ever,I was in a violent relationship 22 years ago and I had to run away n stay with people from work but I didn't have kids then,I got rid of him eventually but he got away with alot,they scare you into not speaking up,things are amicable between my babys dad and I for the mo and he has him till Saturday,It will just be a matter of handing baby over n not getting into anything with him,but life is lonely when you got kids ,I like you have to accept it's over n no good and I know what u mean about wasting years with them,it's heartbreaking,if u ever want my number just ask xx