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Hello anna
the answer to your question is no Hun there is no communication and still that under line totaly different people thing. The only communication is to arrange contact and holidays. It's one of those better off not things where we will never see eye to eye on anytime. X she try's to want to know what's going on in this house still and how much money we have coming in as we're having stuff done to the home and getting new cars and spent good money on the kids for Christmas.
stuart x
Yes well sometimes that is the best way! I think you were posting at one stage about your new partner's ex being difficult as well?
Hello louuse
like all ex partners they have there moments but we get on really well there's no trouble there.
Stuart
That's good to know, stuart. Hope you are having a great weekend 
Thanks for keeping us updated stuart, see you soon :)
Afternon Ladies
Your welcome :) as you have seen and heared these stories of peoples lives many times, times come around that test you. I am just priviaged enough to of seen through a tough situation and had the opertunity to watch, and raise and see my children grow up in to fine young boys & young woman.
That was my purpose when we had children and never sherked my responsiblities.
Stuart
No you haven't shirked your responsibilities stuart and how lovely to be able to look back and see how far you have come.
Good morning
not been on for a while things have been busy. But lately things have just exploded. My youngest son age 12 has been stealing money and lying all the time. he has been asking mum if he can move there then denying it. The relationship between both my self and there mum ain't been great. Now he's living there as he can not make his mind up and he has to go to school some where so I have said go try it for a few months.
not really had a chance to speak to him about it or had a apology about the stealing.
he stole from me my partner and my partners child money box and don't know where the money has been going. All this has put a strain on my relation ship with partner and my son who I don't seam to know anymore.
Hi stuart, lovely to see you but sorry to read the difficulties you are facing.
Your poor son must be going through a difficult time to be resorting to stealing and lying. It could be for a number of reasons, your new family status, your relationship with your ex, the pressures he faces at secondary school, his relationship with his mum.
Even though he is now staying at Mum's are you still in regular contact? I think it is really important to reestablish your relationship. Can you spend an afternoon a week just the two of you, so that he can see that you love him and also like him? He needs lots of love and reassurance, yes his actions were wrong, but he obviously is facing his own dilemmas.
Love and warmth needs to be given in equal measures to firmness and boundaries, as soon as this becomes unbalanced, poor behaviour can be observed.
Don't wait for an apology, it will all come out in the end if you can give him the time, stability and security for him to trust the adults again in his life.
Just out of interest how old is your partners child? I believe he is a boy, yes?
Hello anna
with the distance of 120 miles and two half hour drive to where he is now as well as working full time seeing him for a afternoon is going to be difficult. I do face time him on iPhone and tell him every time that I will always love him I speak to him every day. Yes my partners young boy I coming up 8.
I would agree with Anna, it sounds like something is going on for him, getting to the bottom of what that is will be trickier with the distance between you, are you ordinarily able to chat about most things together?
You have said that afternoons are difficult due to time etc, would you be able to go spend some one 2 one time at the weekend? The holidays are coming up do you think that he would come back and spend sometime with you?
Morning Sally
yes normally we used to be able to chat about anything, trying to get to the bottom of why he stole and where he has spent the money. I have spoken to his friends parents and they to have told me there children also have stolen money and have seen changes in there children.
I am waiting to find out from the mum when he has to start his new school so I can arrange some time here as he was suppose to be stating at mum for three weeks of the holiday and spend three weeks here, and was suppose to be going on holiday with the family here, but now waiting to see what the hoilday time off is at the new school he will be going to.
I miss him dearly I have had to go weeks before with out seeing him and his brother before when it's the summer holidays as that was the agreed contact they had with mum but that was some how easy to cope with as I knew he would be coming home after.
There is also the element of mum wanting her children to live with he it's been a constent battle for the last 6 year from when she left and got her self sorted with a new life. So that's always difficult to as soon as there is some thing she does not like the verbel abuse starts and tried many times to be civil have to manage those situations.
Oh stuart it does sound difficult at the moment. Brilliant that you can Facetime your son every day though, he knows the connection is still there and whatever happens between now and his 20's, these times won't be forgotten.
Interesting that your son's friends are up to the same, do you have an inkling what the money was for? Cigarettes, booze, weed? Is he behaving whilst he is with Mum?
Your daughter moved to Mum's, is your middle child still with you?
Hello anna
I think he was using the money to buy breakfast at the local butty shop in the morning on the way to school before he caught the bus. Yes my daughter is still at mums shes at college and working in mcdonalds, my middle child is still here he's 15 and seam perfectly fine very bright young man.
Hi stuart,
Firstly I am glad to hear that he wasn't stealing for drugs, cigarettes, alcohol etc. At 12 he is moving from the age where he used to seek approval from his parents to now seeking the approval of his peers. If all his friends are doing have been stealing, perhaps it was someone's idea and they have all gone along with it?
He needs to know that you still see him as a good person but that his behaviour is out of character and unacceptable. It sounds like he needs you more than ever right now, he used to be the baby of the family, but now you have a partner with a younger child that need your time too. Its' lovely to hear that you are talking every day and able to keep in good contact even though you are far away.
There is so much to say here, but rather than write it all out, I have found a link that you might find useful 41 things you can do if your child steals
Hi anna
yes I believe there was some sort of group thing going on with his school friends.
But I just want him to be happy, but it just feels like he's got away with it by running off to his mums.
Yes I think you have hit the nail on the head there and that has been one of the main reasons he has wanted to make the move!
I don't think he has gotten away with it stuart. you have shown him that it was not acceptable behaviour and you won't tolerate it. When he is older he will remember that.
Hi ladies
i don't know what he's thinking at the moment. I will be having him here from Saturday till Tuesday before he starts his new school.
I wrote to my local mp stating the financial unfairness and have had a reply. He has asked the department of work and pensions to investigate it.
Hi stuart, it is good to hear that your boy will be coming to stay before he starts his new school, what will you get up to? Do you have any plans?
You mention that you wrote to your local MP was that about paying maintenance to your ex wife?
Hi anna
going to take him and the dog to the beach as we live near the beach. But besides that just going to go with the flow.
Yes not just about paying as I believe in supporting my children. More about the way the law is set out for abcent parents and maintenance. I still have one child at home that I am supporting financially but recieve no payment for him, but am expected to pay for the the other child. And not recieved a penny for the 6 years I had them all as you do not class there abcent parents household income if they don't work. But you class the house hold Income when claiming child tax credit. Socitiety has moved on more fathers wanting to raise there children and work but the law has not changed. Somthing needs to change on how the payments are worked out. For abcent parents where male or female.
Hi anna
how are you, I never ask and it's rude of me ? Have you been thorough the same kind of experience ? Being a single parent ?
I think you make valuable points there, well done for broaching it with your MP. 
Hanging out by the beach sounds lovely, you can walk and talk without it being too intense.
I am well thank you for asking. Happy its the weekend 
I have never gotten any child maintenance, 20 years ago you could sign a form to say that you didn't want to pursue it, I chose not to as I was concerned for my safety due to previous threats my ex had made regarding CSA! Unfortunately my ex knew that if I didn't go for it, noone would go after him, so basically he got away scot free. To be honest after all the drama throughout my daughters first 7 years, I never wanted anything from him that he didn't want to give willingly anyway.
Have a good weekend, are you up to anything?
hi anna
yes were are off to Butlins in Skegness for a short break friday to monday. Myself partner and two boys.
I am getting to the stage now where my ex partner is texting random stuff which we have no resson to talk about its on the border of harrassment when the children tell her about things that happen here she has to have her say. i may have to seek legal advice its getting beyond a joke.
As far as i know my lad is settling in ok at his new school. i face time him and speak to him every day.
when i dropped him off from his last stay was crying, he must be finding it difficult.
he has apoigies for stealing and i hope he understands its wrong.
stuart
Hi stuart, I am sure your boy knows that he has done wrong. You have explained it to him and you have been consistent with your views on it.
It sounds as though he is feeling quite troubled at the moment, brilliant that you are keeping communication open and he knows he can turn to you. Would he be allowed to come home again, if that is what he wanted? Where are his friends, near you or his mum?
I am sorry to hear that communication with your ex is bordering on harrassment. Is it worth putting this into a letter to her? Or perhaps you can text her back letting her know that you are willing to discuss anything that is relevant to the children, but anything else you will be ignoring.
Your Butlins trip sounds great, I hope you have a really lovely time, a chance to relax and enjoy yourselves.
Morning anna
he has until Christmas to try it there to see if he settles in at school. Then we will reassess it. it will have to be him who wants to come back under certain condictions as his mum will not want him to come back, you really don't know what unrreasonable she is. I have said all this to her before about only discussing things about the children and I will not respond to anything else that's not relevant it's been this way for the past 6 years.
His friends are all here he has no friends at his mums.
Oh poor chap, what a dilemma for him, its good that you have given him a time frame to work things out.
I know you have worked so hard to have effective communication with the children's mum, you mentioned that you were considering getting some legal advice, are you still feeling like this?
Hi anna
yes I am still feeling like this, it's been six years she needs to get over it and stop this bitterness anger stuff we have all moved on. The only thing we have is children together that's it I don't want to know anything more not interested. She seams to want to know everything that goes on here still in this house why is this ?. Even down to the ammount of money we both earn none of her business. End of the day it's only what's best for our children that matters any thing else well nothing to do with any one else.
Asking if I want to see my son more after I have told her the routine and if I can see him I will ask, when I said I can not afford it to travel all the way there and back, response is I thought you had money and it's my loss. But where was she for the past 6 years letting the kids down not turning up she don't recall that but I don't say anything g as she's after a response.
Stuart
Oh stuart, it does sound infuriating. Good for you for not biting when your ex wants you to, it sounds as though you hold your tongue quite a lot.
Your income is none of her business, it sounds as though she wants to feel in control of everything.
Has your son been asking to see more of you, is that why she raised it?
Hope you had a good weekend break stuart
Hey stuart! Nice to 'see' you!
Great to read that your daughter has settled down and that you recognise that she is at a time in her life when she is busy doing her own thing. I am sure that you keep in contact and that she knows you are there. I give it till she is 23 and then you will be the best of friends!
It sounds that all is running smoothly as a step family, your boys are doing well and you are in a good place.
I know you have probably only 'popped' in, but I am wondering if everything got sorted with your wife's ex?