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he would know by all the things i wrote he,ll kno its him and me, dont kno how he found me but, to much of coincidence it was his nme spelt differantly and he commented on 3 threads that i have been active on and all three of them were removed but i wasnt warned
well my ex asnt got legal aid yet, he got told off in court for not doin drug test he as ad 5 months, and he didnt turn up see cafcass lady, he said he ad broke down, he used them excused with me, courts aint messin bout, decide feb26th, hope no contact,ope ur ok when ar eu due in courtx
something must of been said for them to remove the 3 comments
i cant say to mucch now cos he may be watching, surely the moderators can tell if it looks like he has cos they removed it
im not sure hun, cud u email louise and ask er privatelyx
Right let us get this sorted. Please stop panicking.
The person who posted on your threads, anonymous mum, was not your ex. It was a spammer who posted exactly the same on lots of threads under two different user names. The subject of the posts was to publicise the work of a spiritualist, and nothing whatsoever to do with your situation and also nothing personal as these posts were peppered all over the boards.
We as moderators remove ALL spam posts (spam happens quite frequently) and also block the accounts of spammers so that is what has happened.
I would also like to say that I do not think that any of what you have said on here comes into the category of "things can be used against you in court"
However, ALL users of One Space need to bear in mind that the Internet is a public domain and so it is good to use a name other than your own and not to include your town or your child's name. We edit these out whenever possible but it remains the responsibility of the member
Here is an extract from our Terms and Conditions, to which all users have to agree when they sign up:
Warning: Our forum is viewable by the general public
Please remember that this is a public forum and any information you post can be accessed by anyone from the general public or by internet search engines such as Google. Once something has been posted on our boards, it is then searched by various search engines and added to their search database. So if you post your hometown or your children's name, it is inevitable that someone will come across your posts at some point in the future. Likewise if you add pictures in your or signature with your family's details and then add your location on your profile, this is all information which will show up when our forum is searched so be careful when mentioning details which, when linked together could lead to people you know identifying you.
Please do not post anything on our board which could lead to people identifying you later as although the moderating team are happy to edit or delete odd posts on request, they are unable to remove all posts posted by a specific member.
(end of extract from Terms and Conditions)
I hope this clarifies things
thanks louise for letting me know i was paniking and yes i understand that this is a public thing and probably should tk that in to consideration, when i seen the name and the romoved posts i panicked, but thank you so much for clarifying it for me louise x
Hope you feel better now, anonymous mum, what has happened with your ex boasting about his legal aid and what he can do has just really unsettled you.
I was wondering about Women's Aid? Working with them may help your confidence and also is another thing to bring out if it does go to court...when you might need to show the effect the abuse has had on you. What do you think?
your right louise it really has unsettled me and i just went cold when i heard all of what he was saying, i dont kno if i could mention this in court cos they would want to kno how i knew this imformation, i have been thinking about counselling, he is in a way still abusing me online people are commenting calling me a bad mum for keeping his daughter away form him but course they dont kno the whole stor, but there is no way his legal aid certificate would say he can have pr have the birth certificate changed and have a party for her, im thinking i could be in mayby before xmas just dont kno x
i will try and contact lwomens aid , i did try in the past but neva got through x
Worth keeping trying, not only could you get some counselling and support but also it would be good to have someone with you during the court stuff
hi hun how are u today, im ok, xx
when av u got court, is urs goin to crown court, myn is goin to majistrates court, scary, i did my statement yest at my soliciter, glad i av gud soliciterx
hi keira am waiting for the date to come through im dreading having to do a statement , what kind of stuff dd u put in it ,evrything? like from the beginning of ur relationship? i think its gona go to high court think thats magistrates to x
i will try them again louise thanks x
hiya hun i commmented on anova thread, but ur on ere lol, my case is goin to majistrates, its a contested hearing, is urs same, when are u due in court, i av stand up and say why i dont want ex to av contact, in front judges, a desicion wil b made in the hearing, i jsut want it all over with, i cant get on with my life like this im sure u feel samexx
and i did my statement last wed at my soliciters, like relivin it all tym,sic of it xx
kiera said on your other thread and is absolutely right - DO NOT LOOK ON HIS FACEBOOK - you are exacerbating the panic. You can do this, you need lots of positive self talk. Of course you will be nervous, as you have said before you are beginnning to realise the extent of the abuse you have received. Have you been in touch with your local womens aid yet, who may offer an advocate to go to court with you?
i know i couldnt help my self we had a bit of a clash aswell so i have now deleted my account, he is taking pictures of the baby off my fb and my daughters we dont know how he,s doing it cos there not public, i just dont know if i can cope with court the way i fel now i dont think i can,my whole life being dragged through court being made out to be a liar, he has joined faters for justice saying im keeping baby away cos am using her as a weapon an that
fater for justice haha i meant fathers for justice sorry x
hi hun fathers for justice ha joke, let him do wot he wants, u concentrate on ur self hun, i ad private room booked in court, do u av 1 booked, cos u can and do u av sum1 go with u, my mate cum with me, xx
im waiting for date for court and i will ask for room, have you seen the things they put up on that fathers for justice , the only reason i kno that it will be soon is taht he said on his fb that he,s legl aid certificate has come so just waiting any day now im expecting it , iv got no one to go with me hun x
we are goin thru similar arnt we, well i ad no1 go with me,then my mate day bfroe said she wil go with me, she not long bin out bad relationship, so she understands, ive dum my staement , sick relivein it all tho,i didnt av to go in court, i got shaky when it was tym to go in, just didnt want to see ex,xx
how old is ur little girlx
thats it i know im gona go to peices when the time comes i hope i dont have to go in, my lil one is 8 months , surely they wont say he can just take her out she doesnt even know him and he,s to volitile with me so it not something i can accomadate neither,he put on his fb in caps THERES ONLY ONE THING I WANT, AND I WILL GET IT AND I HOPE YOU READ THIS!! i went to peices when i saw it, i kno i shouldnt look but i cant help it, and it tells me things i wouldnt kno lie him gettin his legal aid through x
he has also been posing with a 6 month old baby , i think his new girl who lives next door , but his mums been washing her clothes and everything yet i was shund away for not letting them take my baby out alone
he,s been putting up loads of the fathers for justice campaigns pictures and keeps protesting sayin having a father is a human right , i kno it is but its also a human right to protect
hun please please dont luk at his fb, it make u a whole lot worse, i did and saw message like wot goes round around, i got panicky heart poundinmg and thought why hell did i luk, so i avnt again, it was temptin its not now, ur ex is idiot like my ex, let him write wot hell he wants , its load rubbish anyway, they dont think like us hun, seriously, let him do wot he wants,m u av concentrate on u and ur baby sod him, well i was lucky i didnt av to go in court, but iav go in feb, tryin not think bout it, but cafcass report doesnt recomend contact, my ex is high risk offender, so hopein he get no contact, i dont want to see him againxx supervise contact if fyn, and i mean strict, but wot bout after centre, un supervised not aa chance, il move if i av to i mean tht, ope ur opk hun please dont luk at fb thts wot he wants u to b in statexx
ue ex wont get wot he wants, my ex thought he wud swan in court and get acess little did he no it wud all cum out bout his double life, he ad baby i didnt no bout and girlfriend, and no contact thru court,. he failed do drug test, stil as, he asaid i was coke head and leave kids on own all tym, hes joke, i no its hard so hard,i juist want court over with, as ur ex nbin violent to u, x
yes hun he was violent he done 18 months probation and a domestic violence course i then got back with him and he was as good as gold while he was on probation ( for serious assault on me) as soon as it finshed and we moved he started again , he was being violent to me during my pregancy and police ended up getting called by work and ss made me sign aggrement, i neva pressed charges though and he denied evrything and walked with no charges, i regret now not pressing charges and putting a full staement in but i was a mess and still loved him and tryed to protect him
my ex has given up smoking and drinking and is doing a drug test b4 court so that they can pull it out when asked to do one he is being very cunning about it all, he has also done educational courses this is all a front but i have to try an prove that
it doesnt even feel like xmas , feel so down wih it all , i cant stand in front of him and give evidence it will be to hard
my ex pu tme in hospital on our holiay abroad, his 1st tym anbroad,he turned onme, i tuk him bk 2 months later, silly woman, but my eldest daughter left cos of him, even now she brings it up she stil angry bout it, she isnt spkin to me, my 14 yrn old son hates him, he called me vile name sto thier faces i av anova son who is 11, we av 2 yr old little girl together, more harassment, he followed me made threats, and only found out in court he as violent past and serious violent assault, woundin with intent, these men never change its all an act, well my ex as ad 5 month do drugs test, he asnt, he as til jan 2nd to do one, i did myn 3 months agao negative, i said whizz and canabis, my soliciter said in court she belieevs he asnt dun test to get drugs out his system, but even if his test negative hes stil violent, and high risk to me, cafcass lady said tht in report, prayin no contact in feb, i regret ever keeptakin him bk, ope ur ok hun, im ere for u opkxx
aw hun i feel down but tryin not to, cos want giv kids gud exmas, this wil b 1 st exmas without my ex ruinin it, so not letin him ruin this exmas, it b hard for me to in court, u av dun nothin wrong hun remeber tht, x
very similar my ex put me in hospital, and used to call me names to the kids and my eldest moved out , she moved back when we splitt and my 14 yr old hates him to, and yes this is our first xmas without him to x
bloody hell our stories similar, im from north west, cafcass lady said he cud pose risk to my little girl and my kids and me, cos contact centre is short term init, and cafcass lady and me av concerns after tht unsupervise with wot my ex is like dont trust him,drugs , weaponds violence and howhe lied to me and was abusive to my kids, my eldest daughter who is 19 she is at unio,she lives there, but she brings up tht i put him 1st,i said sorry and i love er she a sblocked me from fb, guttedxx
well my ex ad never left his girlfriend, yet he accused me cheatin all tym, and new baby, unbelievablex
hope she comes round hun im sure she will my eldest is 18 and he tryed to manipulate her tred to turn her against me and it worked for a while but i expained things to her properly and she saw alot of what happend and he also turned on her , she hates him now, im also from north west, he used to call yhem raciall abusive names dragged my 14yr old and spat at them we will tell all when caffacss come x
how old are you hun ? x
u no wot u must tell cafcass bout he e was so abusive to the kids, tht is very very important, cos shows he wasnt just abusive to u he was kids as well, im 40 hun, x i tried explainin bout ex how manipulitive e was and how e ad hold on me, i didnt realis etho, ive dun freedom programme, and parentin class, well tht was court order, and im doin one to one thru wave, i was marraced last yr, ad ne wlocks alarms and panic button, and light installed in my garden, anfd in report says if i cum in contact with ex im at risk and cud b maracced again, scary init,so hows conatct gona work i dont no, xx
he actuially acused me of goin with my own daughter, and said if she ever stayed ere e wud report me for over crowdin to council, he accused me goin with my own mate, but my daughter didnt like him from beginin she said he was idiot, how ryt she was, i cum bk from holiday with messed up face u c, i said id bin in bike accident, but they found out, he punched me in my face twice and spat on me, bfore tht throin drinks over me and callin my daughter, wish never met himx altho i av gorgeous little girl , dont want hiom to see erx
i was worried that because i hadnt reported things that happend when they happend they would go gainst me for not doing something about it at the time, im 40 to x
youno like the abuse to the kids, i neva told evrything when i shud of x
we are same age, bet u dont live far from me, but we are not allowed giv out personal info out on ere, i got told in court by judge a dn my soliciter and cafcass tht i ad promise i wud not av contact wirth this man cos if i did my kids are at risk, and im 1 step from care procedings,rtht scared hell out of me, cos we kept txtin each other, and my soliciter warned me not to but i did, dont ask why, i dont even no why, soafter hearin tht in court no contact, ikts hard tho hun not tht easy is it, pokice cum few tyms to my adress as he wudnt leave and was bein abusive, my eldest son wudnt even cum down stairs when ex cum to see us i feel guilty bout tht, ex always let us down, tht explains double life xx
i was even scare dto leave my house, he wud park down road few tyms and wait for me go school,he wait in my garden for hours, or follow me twice, call me names in cvarpark in front of alot people, was awful,ahe made threats, sayin u dont make enemy of me, he even threatened petrol bomb my mates house, i ad baby with man like thtx
i kno its a shame we probably do live close and could of met each other one daay, my ex done all that but after i sent police round 3 n half months ago he stopped for the first time but like i said he,s cunning and will play the game, he threatned to petrol bomb my house , and to find my dauheter and get her beaten if i leave, and even said he would wait for my daughter outside school and set fire to her and pin rcailly abusive names to her back, yes i to had a baby to a man like this, it just feels like its neva goin to be over x
he never called er to er face but bhind er back, he threatened to gop to er dads and do summat, and i wasnt to push him, mean wot sort man wud say evil words, i feel same hun, we are goin thrun same i understand totally, do u live manchester, i liv half hr away from therex
ex ad 2 harassment orders on him he breached um both, he +ad get police twiceas only stopped since court, in july,i ended it in may and he did nt leave me alone x
Hi kiera and anonymousmum, you both have been busy on here this afternoon its great that your able to share your experiences and the things that you have in common.
Do you have any other things in common, hobbies etc? keira we know your a great cook, what about you anonymousmum do you like to cook?
hi , i dont live in manchester myself aswell about and hour away, yes i like to cook or used to am to busy lately to cook nice meals and found it hard to get back in to cooking family meals cos i always had a man around and alot of the time its just me an baba now, so i dont tend to cook just for my self, iv not really had time for hobbies neither but do take lil one along to childrens centre a couple of times a week to a couple of groups, do you get much me time keira x
nothing much has beeen happning i only just found out he got his legal aid awarded x