This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
this was suggested but am not to keen to do this with the cats . My family do not have room to accomodate me or my furniture otherwise they would do what they can. I think i will have to just grin and bear the situation and hope someone looks down on me (silly phrase but who knows)
I can contact womens aid any time. They also said to get the book that you recommend. I will but as yet have not done so
Thank you for your responses
Ok ebonie and ivorie, it is always your decision but I do have to say that the only one who can take it is you, and so it's a good idea to keep exploring and thinking and information-gathering so any decision you do take is the very best one.
Hello to anyone who may read this!
i just wanted to say a quick Thankyou because I'm going through court and not coping very well with it, but seeing that other people have to do the same, and reading the various threads about it has made me feel less alone. What an unjust world we live in!
Hi Tigerificness, i'm glad that the thread has made you feel less alone with your situation, is there anything that you would like to share on here? maybe we can support you too with whatever is going on for you!
hi tiger ive bin thru court, last hearin was august. my thread is on edge, its long thread lol to long, if u want to ask me anythin u can x
Hello Loiuse and everyone
I am emsbank I use to live in Yorkshire and boy do i miss my home town, I live in Great Yarmouth now.....only its not great. I have one daughter who will be 13 next week also im a old mum according to my dd ;-)
Young people always think their parents have some embarrassing trait or other. I even got told off by my son for wearing earrings to collect him from school, what was all that about?
Do you still have friends and associations with your old town?
hi im shaz5 im from west midlands and have two sons ivw been single for over a year and a half after my ex had been having affair and he too was abusive which the last time was not nice ended in court
but this site was fab they listened to me , helped me and gave me help and advise and its good cause if you have no one close you can rant and let it go .
when it first happened to me i thought my life was over and never in a million years did i think that i would be able to get through what i had to but these on here made it easier and kept saying that there will be light at the end of the tunnel and they were right there is and im so glad that i found this site it helps me so hello to all
hi ive also bin thru court and cum out the other sidex
No i dont have any friends who live in yorkshire, although its was my home town i met my first hubby at 17 and lost all contact with friends ete.
Hello shaz 5,
Good to 'see' you! Happy New Year to you & yours. Your comments about One Space are really appreciated; so glad you found it such a supportive resource.
emsbank, my daughter is constantly saying I'm 'weird', so you're not alone (girls can be so critical!) She's going through that stage of wanting to fit in though, so the fact that I aren't really concerned with what others think of my appearance probably is 'weird' to her. What a shame you don't still have links in your home town. Is there anyone you can confide in at present?
kiera, do you feel as though your court battles are over now?
Hi I'm new. Live in the Southeast and having a bit of a problem with coping financially over the last year. My ex decided to stop paying his half of the mortgage and almost half of the child support 14 months ago, claiming he couldn't afford it anymore. I know I could have taken him to court, but he's too clever and hides his income and so concerned that this could work against me. However, I am going to have to sell the house and want to readress the equity split as I will never be able to get another mortgage when this is done and dusted forcing me to rent. Basically throwing my equity down the drain. My daughter wil be 18 in less than a year, but she is in full time education. The court order does say that we are to remain in the house until my daughter turns 18 or leaves full time education. He now has 2 very young children with another person and our house was not purchased to house his new family. His partner bought this house herself and quite frankly, if she's struggling it's her problem, but what can I do about him? I'm getting some other advice on Friday, but want to feel prepared. Any thoughts?
Hi Lola2012, I wanted to welcome you to One Space, I'm afraid I have little knowledge of housing, mortgages, equity etc etc, however you might consider contacting Shelter, click to have a look at some hopefully relevant info, there is also a helpline number on the right of the Shelter page too, that might be useful.
Let us know how it goes on Friday. Good luck with it
Hi again ebonie and ivorie,
How are you finding the Freedom Programme? Are you recognising the tactics? Is it helping you to see more clearly the manipulation you have been living with?
It sounds like you are in a space where you know you want to leave but you can see lots of barriers. Please know that barriers are to be overcome and sometimes we put them up when we don't want to face the reality of what we deeply want/need to do because of fear and the unknown.
Leaving an abusive person is NEVER going to be easy, but you can do it and Womens Aid can help you. It might be that you are learning lots of information now, but decide to stick with your marriage for another couple of years. This is fine too if its your decision, but when you do decide to leave, there will always be a number of barriers to overcome.
I know you say that you are not happy for your cats to board anywhere, but have you heard of Pet Fostering (click). It is something to consider. It sounds like you adore your cats, so surely it would be better for them to be somewhere safe, whilst you sort yourself out, if you agreed to it, that would be one thing ticked off your list.
Your solid oak furniture sounds divine and I am not surprised that you don't want to leave it behind and I don't blame you! Do you have a family member who could hold onto it for a short period?
You mention that you can't afford to rent anywhere, could you stay with a family member or a friend who has a spare room and save some money from work?
It is a huge leap leaving a long relationship, but also moving home too, adds a lot of pressure in the mix. However it can be done, you will find a way. Once you make that decision you will be surprised how things fall into place.
Are you regularly in contact with Womens Aid?