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Hello darwins_mum
The Freedom progamme is a fantastic way for women to move forward from abusive relationships. Click here to see their website and you will be able to find out about your nearest programme
Hi all
Well finally after many many years of wanting and waiting, we now have the Freedom Programme online here at One Space.
If you register and do the course you can recieve the Living with the Dominator book free.
You can learn from other peoples experiences and come on here and share your own. This is a very powerful programme and we are here to support you to get an understanding of abusive behaviour and to break the cycle of it happening again to you and your family.
Do the online course now, then share with us what you think! Go to Freedom Programme today!
hiya - have just started the online version and want to know what you recommend me doind to better my undertanding?
Hello giz.15
Hope you find the course helpful....there is a page where you can request a free book to accompany the course so I would suggest you send for a copy 
Hi giz.15
Welcome to the Freedom Programme forum. How are you finding the programme and doing it online? Are you finding it interesting? Useful? Eye opening?
You ask what we recommend you do to better your understanding, I think that fact that you are doing the course will help, was there anything in particular you wanted more understanding on??
Hi,
I have just completed the online Freedom Programme on OneSpace! Has anyone else done it?
I found it quite interesting. I have been on countless courses about DV ( in my previous job role) mostly aimed at trying to help women who have been through DV. I have even referred other women to do the Freedom Programme but I always felt it wasnt something I needed because I tried counselling when I left him and I didnt like it. Now I think I see that I hadnt really took on aboard what I went through. The difference with this course is that it doesnt just teach how wrong abuse is but it tackles the thought processes that both we and the perpetrator share. This was the most enlightening part of the course for me.
I think it would have been even better if I actually went to a group session but I still learnt a lot from the online course.
If anyone else has done it would be great to have a chat about how you found it?
Hi littleangel, well done for completing! Did you request a completion certificate?
I am so glad you found it interesting and felt that you learnt something new. When I first came across it I was sooo impressed, I love it.
I hope other members will join in and discuss what they have learnt and the impact it has had on them.
Would you be able to attend a face to face course?
Hello, I am interested in joining the freedom programme. How do I join? Thank you :)
Hi Asaldis if you go to the home page there is a your learning box (on the rightside near the bottom of the page) with a signpost in it, it says new online courses click on the Surviving Domestic Abuse link and it should take you to where you want to go.
At the bottom of the Freedom Programme page that you will be taken to has an enrol button at the bottom.
Hope this helps any problems lets us know 
Goodluck with everything
I am a Social worker and I have recommended this programme to so many colleagues and female clients who are having or have had experience of domestic violence. In fact I believe that every woman should own a copy of Pat Craven's book 'Living with the Dominator'. I am currently trying to convince managers in the Local Authority where I work to send me and another colleague on the Facilitator Training so we can deliver the Freedom Programme in our area as sadly it is not being run anywhere in the community where I work. So wish me luck. I am just finishing the programme myself and I would like to say thank you to Pat Craven for developing this. I know many women who have completed the Freedom Programme and it has had a HUGE impact on their lives and that of their children.
Thanks for the feedback Cheers4Mum, always good to receive.
I feel the same way as you do, it is a brilliant programme to recognise what was exactly going on within the abusive relationship - a good first step to the rest of your life!!
I hope that you found our online version of the programme as useful as a face to face course and will continue to recommend colleagues and clients alike.
I will forward your comments on to Pat.
I love my Sisters. The journey is hard but we are getting there.
Hi Honeypot, thank you for posting on this thread. The journey IS hard, but recognising a relationship is abusive is the first step towards finding ourselves again and choosing a new fulfilling future.
How far along the programme are you?
I have just started the freedom programme, I am one of the first to do it on-line so would appreciate being able to talk to others who are doing the course at the same time.
Hello
Many people have also been doing the Programme online so hopefully others will chip in here.
What do you particularly like about it so far? Do the "types" of partner ring true for you?
I haven't done very much so far, I am looking at 2 past partners, so far the bully is part of who my ex-husband was but this does not fit me ex-partner. I haven't looked at any of the other 'types' yet.
It will be interesting to see what you think as you go along. There will be a lot of material in it for you, if you are thinking about two previous partners.
yes I know and they are both still involved to varying degrees as I have 2 children with each ex. They were both very different to each other as well so the combination of both will probably encompass every type. Some issues still remain.
Do you see your former partners when they have contact with the children? That can be a difficult challenge.
Yes I do. My ex-husband comes once a month, my daughter decided in January to go live with him so she is now being manipulated and controlled. He is not allowed in the house and only sees our son for 3 hours on his own.
My ex-partner and I have 2 very young boys - 3 and 1 - so he comes twice a week and is always very pleasant but only because he has delusions that we will get back together. On his last visit he asked me if we could be f**k buddies!
Oh my goodness! I bet you couldn't believe it! Sounds like he is getting rather confused about his role as his father and his role as your ex partner.
That sounds even more difficult re the first guy. If your daughter has chosen to live with him then it makes your position harder. I was wondering if that means your oldest son and daughter see each other, if you also have time with your daughter.
Yes he seems to confuse civility with a come on.
Once a month he brings her over, she stays with me for 3 hours while he takes my son out, then he brings my son back and the 2 kids have an hour together while their dad sits in the car and waits for her.
My son has Asperger's Syndrome which his father refuses to acknowledge so he tends to get very angry with my son and is intolerant of his needs.
Hi there welcome to the Freedom Programme forum, great to see you here.
I love the programme and I hope that you will learn lots about yourself and the relationships you have had in the past.
How old is your daughter? How is she enjoying living with her father?
What did you think about the Beliefs Awareness exercise?
She is 11 and she is enjoying being with her dad, she likes the one to one attention that she gets.
Still doing the beliefs awareness exercise. gone through bully and badfather so far.
You are dealing with a lot so well done for staying so focused. Do you get some support with your son's Asperger's?
Hi,
I have had some time off work recently and have spent some time lookin through your website and reading posts on the forums. What struck me was how similar some of the stories were to my own. I had never considered myself to have been in an abusive relationship before, I have been having counselling and my counselor refers to what my ex did and continues to do as abuse, but I always thought it was a way of describing his behaviour....I know it probably sounds dilusional.....but I just couldn't see it any other way.
Any way, after reading the advise given to other members of the site I decided to enrol on the Freedom Programme. I have completed the 1st section and I can already see my ex in some of the sides of the dominator, but what upset me the most was the characteristics of Mr Right and realising how much of this was lacking in my ex. I have found this realisation quite hard and have decided to wait and digest this before I do section 2.
I'm glad there is a forum to share these things with. Did anyone else have this reaction?
Hello pancake queen,
Its a huge thing to acknowledge that you have been in an abusive relationship. Are you still seeing your counsellor? I wonder if you felt able to talk to her about your difficulty with seeing your ex's behaviour as abusive?
It sounds like taking the Freedom Programme at your own pace and having a break to absorb your new learning is the right thing for you just now.
Hi Rudimentary Mary,
We have talked about my ex's behaviour and how it has affected me but I had never thought about the relationship as being abusive before. I suppose because my ex was generally a decent person I used to look at his outbursts as isolated incidents, its only recently that I have seen it differently. Its quite shocking to look back over the last 17 years and see it in a diferent way. All the sulking and shouting and swearing when he didn't get his own way, terrifying me with his driving if we'd had an argument, I felt like I couldn't talk about things that were important to me or express my feelings, it just became easier to keep quiet to keep the peace. I thought I was doing the right thing as a wife but now I can see he was controlling me and manipulating me to make sure we lived how he wanted to.
Yes, it can be a rude awakening seeing what you have lived with for years in another light, can't it?
It sounds like living with your ex was incredibly hard work and must have taken up an awful lot of energy. I hope you're in a better living situation now?
Mary
A rude awakening is a good way to describe it!!
It was very stressful, especially towards the end as we shared the family home until the divorce came through. I bought him out and I live here now with my girls. He still manages to find ways to control and manipulate me which is why I decided to do the freedom programme, I realised I was still getting caught up in his controlling behaiour so wanted to get some insight into it all to try and help me be more aware. But as you said, its been a rude awakening and harder than I imagined, but I will take my time and get through it. Everyone on here has been really helpful and welcoming.....I wish I'd found this site sooner.
I have a social worker, he recommended this course. J has a SEN and I am trying to find a special school for him for september
Sorry for my ignorance...but what is SEN?
I think it stands for special educational need, PQ. And I agree with Mary about the very complicated process you are going through in recovering from this relationship
How do you get on with your social worker, Symonds 1234?
Yes Statement of Educational Need, social worker is good, he is positive and doing all he can to get more services in place.
Hi, sounds like your social worker is trying to help you. It must be hard for you, especially if your ex won't accept the diagnosis. My friends sister's son has apergers and she has been a single parent for most of his life, I have seen how she has struggled. I hope you find a school you like.
I have found the perfect school for J, he will be able to start when they go back to school in September, just in the nick of time as well as there is only 1 week of term left.
That is good news - and as you say, just in the nick of time.
Just so you know - I edited your son's name to protect your privacy. If you are using your real name, can I recommend that you change that too? Go to the Profile tab at the very top right of the page on screen and click on it. Change your User Name and then click 'Save' at the bottom of that page to retain the changes you've made.
Thanks I had been careful not to mention any names up to this point, but must have slipped this time.
thats great news about the school symonds1234, you can enjoy the holidays knowing it has all been sorted. Do you have anything nice planned?
I am pretty much housebound so I am finding out what is available that the kids can go to and my social worker is going to sort out transport
Your social worker sounds really helpful....I hope they find some fun things for your children to do. What about you? What do you do for fun?
I read a lot and write book reviews, I have a blog, I am doing a creative writing course, I run a bookclub and I hope one day to be a published author.
That must keep you busy. I am always in awe of people who are creative, I don't have a creative bone in my body.
Is it fiction you write your book reviews on?
just about anything, lol
Good for you,Symonds1234! I am a frustrated writer - that is to say, when I motivate myself to write something it's usually well recieved by those who read it, but I don't sit down to write often enough (there's always 'something else to do').
You don't say why you're housebound - and its up to you whether you disclose the reason or not. But I agree with pancakequeen, your social worker sounds very supportive. Do you have other people around you to help with the children/talk to about your situation?
Hi, I have done loads of reading on this. I have lived with an abuser for many years. We have a 3 year old boy. It was impossible to provein court that he was an abuser, plus he charmed the lady judge arund his lil' finger... So he is allowed to hare custody of my son and keep him for a few days a week. My son hates that and what is more I fear for his safety because my ex used to be pretty violent with both of us. What to do???
Hello Carla
That is a nightmare of a situation if it has already been to court. What does your solicitor say? You can ask our own legal expert for some advice by clicking here.
See what they say and come back to us....you are welcome here for support. How much time does he have with your son?
Hi Carla,
How frightening for you.
This site is great for support, I have used the legal team on here and they helped so I would definitely recomend you contact them.
I have a fused spine which gives me extreme pain and limited movement in my lower back, this also causes problems with my left hip and sciatica in my left leg, I am also depressed. I have just been referred to a psychologist for CBT. I don't eat very well. I spend all my time making sure the kids are well cared for or escaping into a book.
I have just had 3 weeks of hell as a 'friend' accused me of assaulting (smacking) her daughter. Her statement and that of her 2 children were identical and mine was different so I was given a caution for common assault on thursday.
I have my daughter visiting at the moment, she has been here for 1 week and she has 1 week left with me before she goes back to her dads.
Hi all, can someone please give details of the Freedom course and where it can be accessed in the west midlands please.
many thanks