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Do let us know if we can help with anything else Vickie30, it can be tough going at times but it is worth it, we are here to help when you find something difficult or you just want to talk 
I feel like I'm walkin along side of my own life rite now... im given evidence against my violent ex partner in 2 wks time...
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That must be really stressful for you, do you have help/support with this? do you know anything about the process ie. can you give evidence via a video link?
So sorry you have to go through this Vicky, write it all down, what has happened, so it is very clear to you because if you are questioned, they may make it confusing. Try to gather as much evidence as you can and if there were ey witnesses, have their statements ready.
Have maybe Gp reports ready or police reports. Write everything down what is happening at the moment and if something wrong happens, try to record it without your children seeing it.
Talk slowly and calmly and just state it as it is. Make sure the judge understands you are not against your ex having visiting rights, as your children have that right, but that you are there for the best interest of your child and how to obtain safety for your child. Is social services going to be there as well ? Are they writing a report ?
I will keep my fingers crossed for you xx
thank you both for your kind words.
my ex who isnt the father of my 2 girls is on remand awaitin trial in 2 wks time.
i have a broken collorbone, bite scar on my leg, also my nipple thanks 2 him. he has addmitted just days ago to 'perverting the course of justice' which is 1 less charge at the trial. im dreading the whole thing. my life is a complete mess. i dont sleep at night due 2 nightmares. he has another 12 charges against him.
i just dont no how best to cope with it all. feel like im going crazy in my mind...
How awful, i'm really sorry to hear that you have been through such an horrendous situation, it's not surprising that you feel as you do. You really need some support with this have you been in touch with a domestic abuse service, they would be able to support you through this, you can call Womensaid on 0808 2000 247 they will be able to put you in touch with a service near you if you don't.
Taking things one day at a time usually helps most people, do you have family or a friend supporting you? How about trying to write down all those things that keep going around in your head, that helps some people.
We are here too if you want to talk.
(((Big Hug)))
hi vickie god u are goin thru it arnt it, wot vile man, i felt same goin thru court, my ex put me in hospital while on holiday abroad, cant believe i was with man like that, we also av little girl together who is 3 half, luckily hes not allowed any access at all, hope ur ok,xx
hi everyone. feel slighty better today, my 2 girls are coming bk fm there dads. (contact arranged between ourselves!) nice break for me, but now the struggle will start with only 1 good arm! have so much help available to me that i cudnt exactly explain who, what, why or when!
so many unanswered questions? why me? i loved him & was loyal... i no i didnt deserve any of this...
my girls have seen me subjected to things us adults should not see... their behaviour is difficult at times since this whole court case has started...
I am so glad he is not the father of your children but what an awful man he is. I am glad you feel a bit better, though it must be so hard to fall asleep when your body aches like that and with all the nightmares, can the Gp help you with painkillers ?
You just happened to walk into the wrong guy, he could do this to anyone, but unfortunately it was you, and it did not matter what your character is like, it is unfortunately HIS awful character and you did not know that, No, you did not deserve any of this.
I am so sorry your girls have seen so much of it. Children are resillient and hopefully as from now on he is out of your/their life, and they might have a good father themselves and they have you for a mother, it might not have affected them too much for their future....
The court case will still be so difficult for you and I hope it will soon be behind you, could you ask for a video link as Sally said? Not just because it will be easier for you, but also because of your body ?
Everyone on here will support you xx
Vickie30, big hug from me too, you have been through a horrific time of it. I am so glad to read that you are getting support from all and sundry, it might seem overwhelming, but in these situations I personally don't think you can ever have too many.
You are absolutely right you certainly did not deserve any of this, nobody does. Is the Freedom Programme answering any of your questions about Why Me?
For help with your girls you may be interested in reading Ten tips for parenting after domestic abuse.
I am currently reading an amazing book called The Whole-Brain Child it gives us parents tools to help our children deal with traumatic events. I have added a link to take you to the first few chapters. Scroll to page 4 and there is an excellent explanation of dealing with these sorts of things its called Eea Woo Woo. Don't worry it all makes sense eventually!
You might not be in a position right now to start looking at these things, most importantly is focussing on caring for yourself and getting through that court date.
I have a personal positive update... I'm going 2 write it 'Relationship & Me'
I have a personal positive update... I'm going 2 write it 'Relationship & You'
Vickie30 what wonderful and exiting news !!!! So glad for you as you have had such a horrendous time !!
how is your collar bone now and your scar ? How do you feel ? I am so glad if it is all over for you xx
Positive in refusing 2 video link & insistin on stand in in court without screens... all 4 nothin. 5 months he b out. 30+ violence related offences, I have 3 common assaults fm 12 years ago. I have 2 live with this 4 life...
You have been so very very brave. Sometimes the system fails miserably. I had hoped it would have gone so much better for you.
(((((Hug))))
Is it possible for you that you will get some protection just before he comes out ? Can women's aid help you changing address so he can't find you ? Can you ask the legal expert on here what is the next best step to take ? What a nightmare ...
I agree, now is the time to plan the next step to make things better for you, vickie30!
I'm going 2 attempt this as I need 4 my own personal heart break. Thanks!