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hi its my house fone he sending messages to,my mobile broke iis not recieving any txts at all,ive had to unplug hopuse fone now, get new mobile friday with new number, he just sent messages goin on saying hope ur not cheating on me and please be right and he hasnt done anything wrong, usual crap,he as rang constantly today, dreading if he turns up, he wil at sum point, he wil get angrier and angrier,
Oh kiera what a horrible day.
Is it next Tuesday the Surestart person coming round or has she already been?
At any time you feel frightened just call the Domestic Violence helpline on 0808 2000 247.
You won't have to leave your home, you can just have a chat to someone on the end of the phone, I know how scary it is to feel totally alone with all of this. Sometimes it can help to speak to someone else about it.
Look after yourself, you are doing the right thing.
you can remove the ability to leave messages on 1571 on your home phone Kiera
here
http://bt.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/8374/~/bt-answer-1571-on-your-home-phone
hi just got back from church, my 10 year old son got confirmed,mi mum come with me,went really well, woman come tuesday gon, ad relly long chat, she as been in abusive relationship she understood,x
Glad you were able to get to the confirmation, kiera, that was a positive thing to happen in the middle of all that you are going through 
Have a look at the link that Little Red Hen gave you about landline messages.
Solicitor tomorrow. In the meantime, remember you can phone 0808 2000 247 anytime. How are you feeling this morning?
hi why am i having doubts now, sum reason i feel should i just speak to ex,i dont no, mayb its not serious enuf to go to soliciters,yesterday i was adamant and now im not so sure,
hi but i think messages on my house fone are all evidence, im egnoring fone if it gets to much i unplug it,ex quiet so far, he wasnt yesterday,
I'm sure the service was lovely.
Read back over the thread Kieara. It is serious enough
kiera, I used to find that on days where I felt less harrassed, even a little peaceful, that I would wonder if I was over reacting.
BUT YOU ARE NOT - your ex has gone quiet for a few days, that doesn't change anything other than you getting a breather from all the stress.
Please go to the solicitor regardless of how you are feeling, then at least you know where you stand - take all the evidence you have too.
What time is the appointment?
hi im gona have to change date, totaly forgot my sons mate is sleeping 2moz, i have to pick them up at 3.30pm, my appointment at 3pm,plus not taking my 19 month old daughter, as be an hour in soliciters,she want to get out pram, ex been ringing tonight
When can you get some childcare for your daughter so that you have a childfree chat with the solicitor? keira this is really important and you must get an appointment as soon as possible.
hi rang made another appointment for monday at 9.30, mi mum will have my daughter, ex ringing last night late, just when he quiet i think that its not to bad and im being drastic going to a soliciter, he doesnt leave nasty messages or anything,
Glad you've got another appointment with solicitor, although if that had been me, I would have made arrangements for daughter, even taken her if all else failed, and even put sleepover on hold, as I do feel the solicitor should have been priority. Yours and the families safety has to come first, above everything else.
no my daughter wouldnt of sat in pram for an hour and over. she been runing round and and need peace to speak to a soliciiter, sleepover been planned allweek and i totaly forgot with everything goin on,not leting my son down, we are safe,ex ringing but thts it, i feel that to other people seems serious but why dont i feel that, why., confused,
It is good that you have made another appointment with the solictor and you were lucky to get another so soon, do keep this one. As Anna said in her post you are not over reacting keira, he is playing games with you, and you really need to get and see this solictor so you can stop him from contacting you and having you on this emotional rollercoaster.
You know from experience that his niceness only lasts until you respond how he wants you to, or when things don't go his way, then he is back to be nasty to you.
Have you had anymore contact with womens aid? do you have plans for the weekend?
kiera, you know it is serious, you yourself have said so. Even frightened to go into your own garden? Alarms were fitted. Terrified in your own home, in case he is watching from outside. Sorry, but I cannot see why you are confused about it all. You're seeing a solicitor, that in itself says something surely. As for letting your son down, again I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be entertaining some one else's child in my home, with everything that you have told us on here. My son would have told that he wasn't having a sleepover full stop. He could have gone for a sleepover at his friend's house maybe. Your posts have been full of fear, so I don't understand this at all. My opinion of course, and don't mean to offend in anyway
hi thanks for reply,well its weekend so see what happens ,ex usually mithers at weekend, just with ex all empty threats, well he as carried out couple threats,but i dont seem to think its so serious as every1 else,mean ex doesnt come banging my doors down or leaves nasty threats, r u sure im not being to dramatic in geting non molestation order out on him, no it wil really pee him off, bit worried bolut it,
look im trying to do my best, every day goes by im starting to av doubts,and feweling guilty over not even speaking to ex, blanked him for days now, cant help way i feel,
ive been thru so much last few months,my dad nearly died,my mum not well, to much,plus mi ex,feel like walking out and not coming back,,and u have offended me, i dont need ur comments ok
im sorry every1 for being like this,all ive ever wanted is a family, never happened, a family unit,and i am on edge looking over my shoulder in case ex following me,or driving past , or watching my house, as i no what he capable of,so far he asnt turned up, he just rings off witheld all time and leaves messages which are not nasty,i am gutted tht it asnt worked, anover failed relationship,i am better off on my own, why cant i meet sum1 decent, why,
I think you have tremendous support from us Kiera. We're so worried about you and would like to know you're safe.
At times you doubt how serious it is. In a way, us commenting is, we hope, keeping you strong to be safe.
I cannot see how I've offended you kiera. You are saying how it doesn't seem so serious, and then you are posting that you know what he is capable of. You've already told us that he assaulted you so badly that you ended up in hospital. I am posting these things for your safety, as we all are.
Dear kiera - this is a horrible time - I remember it well - the things that your ex has said to you plays in your head - you think you are over reacting - you think people will think you are being stupid - you think that you should be able to cope.
If you had someone loving you right now, they would be saying Its not ok that he rings you ALL the time - that is harrassment.
It is not OK that you feel fear - that is harrassment.
It is not OK that you are questioning yourself - that is how much he has played with your head.
Don't worry kiera, you will get to your conclusion in your own time. We often discuss there is no 'right time' for people to leave an abusive person.
You gave your heart to this guy and you are still confused over why he is behaving as he is, you are probably wondering if there is just One thing you could do and it would all go back to 'normal'
It is another failed relationship, you are being shown no love.
If you were trying to contact a boyfriend and he was ignoring you, what would you do? Ignore him back, beg and plead with him, have a rant and then leave him to his own devices. Your ex could have done any of this, but instead he is just picking up the phone and being irritating with no real message for you.
He could have written a letter telling you how much you meant to him and how sorry he is for the past.
He could have sent you flowers and thanked you for a great relationship and wished you well for the future, but no he just continues to harrass you for no real reason other than to frighten you and make you feel uncomfortable.
hi but then its my own fault for keep taking him back so of course thts why he mithers me cos in end i always end up speaking to him, this time i really dont want speak to him or see him or be with him, blanked him for over a week now,a normal boyfriend would just accept its over, i no what u are saying,all ive ever wanted is a family unit, evenm woman said tht from sure start, she as referred me to wave, they would understand she said, when ex rings and he leaves messages its all bout him, u no he asnt meantion his 19 month old daughter once in the messages he as left, not once, all goin on bout me and how i am ruining everything, and why am i hurting him, oh and at the end of every message he says hope ur n ot cheating on me,cos i no what he thinking,cos im blanking him in his world he believes im running round with all these men, and of course im in the house with kids
I AM SORRY HAZEL EYESX
You don't have to apologise to me kiera. I completely understand the stress that you're under, and really am just trying to help look out for yours and the children's interests.
I do hope you manage to have a stress free weekend. x
Good point kiera - he has not once asked after his daughter.
I am glad that you are going to be referred to Wave - that is exciting - another step forward.
Did you know it has been 2 months today when you joined our forums and you have definitely gotten stronger.
Remind yourself that your ex is going to always think the worst, even though you know the truth.
What are you up to this weekend?
hi im so worked up again, ive ad house fone unplugged,yet again, mi mobile working yest, loads txts from ex, so tuk sim out again, no contact with any1, i have use mi sons mobile to txt any1, ad plug mi house fone in today, ex asnt stopped ringing, keft mesaage in sarcy tone saying he on way down to do my garden and i need to stop playing games cos it will get me nowhere and to save me alot of stress, he said bye in smarmy tone, im shaking , heart pounding,awful, why do i get in state, i answered fone bfore thinking it was my mum it was ex, he said rite u gona speak to me now, i put fone down, he asnt stopped ringing, hate him, i jump when i ear car door go, i no he geting angry now cos blanking him,u no i av blanked him for 2 weeks now, yet he thinks im playing games , he asnt let up as he,feel like crying,again, please replyx
and he sent txtx last night saying who watching our daughter, meaning he thinks im out with mi mates, which i wasnt,at home as usual, he txt im on way urs do u want owt from shop,i tuk sim out, i get so upset, really do hate him,
i have psorasis like excma, flared up, not surprising with stress, got coldsore,im scared to go soliciters and scared that ex gona b not happy the steps im taking, scared of his reaction,dont no what he will do, never tuk it this far u c, he as ad 2 harassment orders on him and been on bail and he still mithered,what will stop him,what if he doesnt stop harassing me, u no i wish iwas brave enuf to move miles away, i no if i wanted to i could woman at refuge said tht to me, dont want ex near my family, how could i let vile man near my kids, how could i even have baby with him, how could i take him back after serious assault on holiday, how stupid am i,im crying now i feel sick what sort of mum am i, wish never met him,
I think I have mentioned before get a free sim from tesco and tell your friends but not him - that way you don't need to know what he is texting on your other sim
sometimes giving up all contact is scarier than the rubbish you are having to put up with
don't stress over what has happened before - think about your new future - don't dwell on things you can't change - of course its scary to change but you have a bright future
kiera, try and think along the lines of 'he is said he's coming down before, and he hasn't, he is all threats'. Keep on telling yourself this, as I do believe, that is all that it is, pure threats. He is doing this, for you to give in to him, as you know.
You had a child with him, because you loved him. If you had known what sort of a man he was before you had your child, then I would be saying something different, but you didn't know what a threat he was beforehand did you? If the answer is no, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Keep the appointment with the solicitor tomorrow, give them the texts, tell them EVERYTHING. Listen to the advice they give you, and take what ever steps neccessary to get his man out of your life.
In the meantime, put some music on, ignore the texting and the calls. Have you called the phone company? Perhaps they can do something, like logging the calls for you. I'm sure they would help you.
Hi kiera, I am so sorry that you are all alone dealing with this. It is natural that you are shaking and it doesn't make you a weak person, he has scared you.
I am not surprised that your skin has flared up with all this stress. Please remind yourself you are not a bad mum, you are doing this to protect your family, so you are doing a good thing.
If it were me I would call the police, just dial 101 and tell them that you are desperately scared. I know that you don't trust them, but the call would be logged and it will be useful for the solicitor and the courts if necessary that you are trying to find help.
He won't like it that you are going to the solicitor or the police or telling anyone in fact, but I truly believe you could be in danger, so I urge you to take steps now.
It is a human right to feel safe in your own home, so he is repeatedly breaking the law.
He may not be happy with you, but remember you are not happy with him either.
Hi Kiera, here's what stood out for me from all the stuff you posted today: You answered the phone to him, thinking it was somebody else, and when you realised it was him, you put the phone down! How strong is that! Well done! You are definitely moving in the right direction, hang in there! :-)
hi well i dont feel strong,i feel like crying, im scared of the action im gona take against ex, scared how he gona react,really am,
and im back on face book, ex didnt want me to be on it, so if he sees im back on imscared of his reaction as its a pic of me with my daughter on our night out, and he didnt no bout it, no doubt he call me aliar or slag or call my daughter,
Why isn't your ex blocked on your fb account? If you adjust the privacy settings you can shut it right down so only friends can see you. Don't be 'friends' with anyone who is friends with him.
If it's the games you like, you could set up another facebook account in a different name.
I have to say that I never put pics of my lot on fb though, as I know there might be people who know him who'll spot them.
Different for my lot now as three are old enough to put their own pics on. I do have the password for my younger two (my 16 year old has special needs) and will go in and edit their accounts and explain why.
Do check the privacy settings though - and only friends, and not friends of friends... Less posts but then you can choose who sees you.
well ive never met his family, strange i nim,o, they dont even no me and i dont no them he lives miles away, tho he myt aswell live round corner with how much he nos what im doing all time, yeah just so friends and my 18 year old daughter on facebook, and she hates him
I'm not talking about his family.
It can be shut right down though. It's the only reason my brother's on it and stick's to 11 friends.
Your daughter needs to set her privacy settings too. And block him.
Sparkling is right, block him from facebook. You know it's going to rile him, and it'll put fuel on the fire, and I think you have enough going on don't you? It might not be fair, but to be honest I would even stay off facebook, until something has been sorted with him at least.
Have you done what Anna has advised about ringing the police etc? She does know what she is talking about, and is worried for your safety.
hi ex isnt on facebook at all, and of course i will block him, he as rang 27 times today,i av blanked him for 2 weeks now and normal lad wud take the hint, he as said few times ur never geting rid of me,and dont make an enemy of me, tht what he as said bfore,he as a screw loose,
Hi keira, how are you today? How did your appointment with the solicitor go?
hi sori not been on ere, im seeing soliciter this friday, my daughter wasnt well at all last week, ex turned up this morning, im bit shook up, he ad parked down the street, i was on way school, i didnt av my fone with me,my 10 year old was bit worried icud tell on his face, ex said he aint leaving me alone, and he wont be responsible for his actions if i keep blanking him, and if i think bout ringing my little polkice friends il be sorry, i said i didnt want be with him and he aintcuming in my house, he said he is and wot am i hiding, i stood on front, he said do u want keep standing on on front like a dic, isaid yes, bit started raining, i ad to in, he followed me, discreetly i put my sim bk in my fone and said i was goin on toilet, i rang police, all ex was doing was questioning me, police cum, he was nice as pie, he said course il go nicley, iwas upset, police said if he cums near agin we arest him and a non molestation order b gud thing to do,ive spoke to lady from wave as well, ive been so down this week,
Well done for phoning the police.
Kiera I've been following your posts. Stay strong hun, I am so glad you called the Police. Yes he was all nice as pie to the Police, however they WILL be able to see through this act.
Way back in my twenties I lived my abusive Boyfriend, I wanted to leave yet he would only allow it without my clothes and personal effects, perfect example of keeping contact and CONTROL.
I too called the Police explained in front of him what was happening. They stayed whilst I quickly packed. He was all nice and smarmy. The Police escorted me out and before I got in my car they said he has problems we can see this. If he contacts you please call us.
From what I can gather from your posts your ex not only is abusive but more than likely have mental issues. Good luck.
hi yeah he prob dus av mental issues,i am actually worried for my saftey, mean hw cud of ad a gun or knife, wot then, b 2 late, x
i doubt non molestation order wil stop himx
I would strongly advise to go for a an order, it's a first step. If he breaks this, then the Police have grounds to arrest. You need to go through the process. He will end up in court and incarcerated for what he is doing. Clearly he has no respect for boundaries. When children are involved in the picture the judicial system take a strong stance and a dim view of the person who is arrested believe me.
kiera tesco do free sims - I would recommend you get a new sim and send a message to all your contacts and then swap the sim over - that way you have no need to get messages from him - unplug the house phone and tell your contacts to phone your mobile if they need you.