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Loads of hugs tiredmum.
xxx
Hi everyone,
I`ve had a rubbish day and night, firstly my eldest daughters boyfriend stayed over last night as he usually does, he then always goes shopping with his mum on a Saturday so he called her to see what time they were going and she asked did he not get her text, she has left his dad this morning and gone approx 80 miles away without even saying anything to her son, on the one hand I can really understand why she didnt come here to see him, he would have asked her not to go but he is devastated poor lad, he is so close to his mum and he is a good lad, just got a job and doing really well at it, to see a 17 year old young man cry is not nice at all, he is here again tonight and does say he understands his mum going just not in the way she did.
Ok got through that fairly well, had a relaxing sort of a night, was about to log off for the night and try to sleep when there was a knock at the door, this was approx 1.15am, dont know about all of you but a knock at that time always makes me nervous so up I get and did check the spyhole in the door, it was a Policeman, so again rightly or wrongly my 1st thought was for my younger teen daughter who is staying over at her friends house tonight, so my heart was racing at this point, opened the door and the Policeman asked for me by name, so I said yes thats me, well I am sorry but your car has been damaged, some mindless thug has put the front passenger window through, so went out to look and yes its all smashed completely gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called my son and my friend and both came to help, we have emptied the car and cleared as much glass up as possible, cant claim on the insurance, well I could but the excess is £200 for malicious damage, if it had been the windscreen then it would be different as it is covered differently.
I feel sick right now particulalry that no other car was damaged and everyone here knows what my friend and I do, lots of them also know that the youngest 2`s dad has cancer so why do that to us, I really dont understand at all.
I dont know how I am going to fix it, will try the scrap yards in the morning/Monday looked on ebay but the nearest one is 80 miles away so not much use really.The Policeman is coming back today after 2pm to see if any of the neightbours picked it up on cctv,doubt it though. He told me to put a bin bag over the window but to be honest it then says oh look no window so I have left it without but taken all of the glass out so just hoping it does rain before it gets light.
Ther is a saying isnt there that God only throws at you what he believes you are strong enough to handle, he must think I am wonderwoman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry this is a total rant which isnt like me but right now I dont want to be the strong one.
I`m not going to bed at all just going to sit here and read till its light. Which is probably a couple of hours from now.
Do hope you are all having a peaceful night xxx
Oh tiredmum, this is absolutely awful. You poor poor woman. Right now, you're dealing with so much, and some mindless idiots then do this. Please don't think it will be anyone you know. I don't know anything about cars, insurances or whatever, but the scrap yard sounds a good option. I'm sure your son or your friend will take you, and be there to support you too. It sickens me to think that there are such people out there, it is really does. I'm guessing you're near breaking point right now, and that's ok. Lean on others for a change through this.
As for your daughter's boyfriend's Mum. She obviously had her reasons, but at 17, he surely should have been old enough to have been told face to face. I feel she has gone about it in the wrong way. I do hope he hears from her today, or perhaps they can meet up somewhere for a chat.
I'm sure you didn't get any proper sleep last night, but I hope you at least catnapped. Let us know what the police say. I do hope they catch whoever is responsible. xxx
Good heavens, that is truly dreadful and I am shocked to the core. I do feel that is is not personal however, that you were just unlucky (very!!!!!!) rather than it being directed against you. As if you did not have enough to deal with, and the added thing of caring for your sister's boyfriend who is stunned by the news of his mum.
When the policeman comes you need to explain to him that there is a big excess for malicious damage on your insurace and you are a single mum and ask about that fund available for victims of crime (sometimes you see in court cases that when a person is fined for an offence they have also to make a contribution to this fund). If he does not know of anything then get in touch with Victim Support to see if they do. That is the best thing I can suggest off the top of my head. Funds are distributed to local organisations by the Ministry of Justice, so it is a case of finding the right place to approach.
Money aside, no wonder you felt you were not able to sleep, this behaviour just disgusts me, these things always happen to the best people-of which you are certainly one!!!
Please let us know how you are this morning, you will be in my thoughts 
Hi everyone, thank you xxx
It appears that it was my next door neighbours son, you know the one who drove into me on voting day, having spoken to other neightbours he was in a complete stress last night, something has happenend to his car but as yet we are unclear if he crashed it which is highly likely, they think he did it in temper rather than to target me, doesnt make me feel in the slightest bit better.
I am waiting for the Police to come sometime after 2pm so we will go from there.
My car isnt the most common one so it is proving difficult to locate a window but need to find one asap, have put some plastic sheeting over it for now as it is pouring down here.
I am just totally brassed off, dont think either of the places you suggested Louise will pay but thank you for trying to help xxx
Tiredmum, I hope your neighbours help with this. I wish I knew what to say, but my head doesn't seem to be able to come up with anything helpful. Has he apologised to you?
I think its awful that the insurance company won't cover it - do they need to know (sorry, probably suggesting fraud) its malicious? One morning on the school run a lorry kicked up a stone which smashed the drivers window. It was terrifying, but side windows do get broken. I did have to pay an excess though.
Sending loads of hugs your way. xx
Oh he wont admit it but my neighbour had seen him out there and then heard the smash but came out to check her car and was so upset this morning when she saw mine, she is happy to talk to the Police for which I am grateful, it wouldnt matter malicious or not the excess is the same so not worth claiming xxx
I just feel sick xxx
She should be paying here. I know I would if it was one of my lot!
It was my other neighbour that saw them, the mum to the other one was drunk and the Police were only here because she had assaulted her 14 year old daughter, none of which I knew about last night, the mum did a runner with her boyfriend so when the Police came she wasnt here, sounds like a soap opera doesnt it!!!!!!!!!!
I have the best kids in the world though, they have all pulled together and my eldest daughter has located a window close to her, the scrap yard is open till 5pm, she even manged to beat the guy down from £30 to £20 bless her, so eldest son is on route now to get it xxx
omg!
That is fantastic though tiredmum! You do have fantastic children.
xxxxxxxxx
Yes, do tell the police all that you know tiredmum, and it's great that your neighbour is also going to tell them.
Really pleased that the kids are pulling together for you. xxx
That is good that your daughter has found a possible replacement, and the lad DOES have to be reported to the police, you can't just go around damaging other peoples' property. He (or parents) should pay the cost.
What a traumatic few days for you.
Hi everyone well the Policean called me just after 2pm and came to see me not long after, he went to all the neightbours and there are quite a few so impressed with that.
He then came back to see me with my next door neighbours mum with him, she was quite aggitated and asked me to please tell the officer that she had offered to pay for the damage when her son ran into my car, yes I did say that as it wasnt her responsibility but his.
Then the officer said he had told my neightbour that he did believe it was her son that put my window through and she did concede to this, so me being me went over and sat with her put my arm round her and told her that she doesnt have to live like she does, the cycle of violence has to be broken and today!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Policeman just sat there didnt say much, think he was possibly lost for words, anyway I asked if she wanted a hug in a mug(our friendly term for a brew) so she went to put the kettle on, the officer got up to go and was so nice about what just happened, said he couldnt believe I could be so calm and so understanding and with that he left saying he would be back before the end of his shift to talk to the son as he wasnt in.
Not 10 mins later there was a knock at the door, the door flung open and it was the son from next door, really aggressive and his language was awful, my 18 year old daughter did try to calm him down but it wasnt working, I didnt engage with him at all, I just picked up the phone and called the Police, who came very quickly, by this time his mother had sort of dragged him back to her house whilst apologising, then her daughter came to also apologise, the Policeman was so unimpresssed with him coming and kicking off with me, especially after I had just been so nice to the mum, he went round and wipped the floor with him along with another officer who turned up, he came back to see me and said that if I have any more problems at all he will deal with it.
He cant arrest him for the damage to my car because although he knows he has done it, he cant prove it, but his card is well and truly marked and I have not one scrap of sympathy at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to go and have a lush bath and try to relax, I was shaking when he came round, still not feeling too good but I will be fine.
Thank you all for being so supportive xxx
That's so frightening for you! I'm so glad the police came back so quickly though.
Sorry tiredmum. what an awful day for you.
xxxxxxx
Hope you're ok tiredmum. The police acted promptly too which is good. Must have been really scarey for you, not surprised you were shaking. How dare this lad come into your home like that!!
I`m ok thank you xxx
Just had my lush bath which was lovely, now going to do nothing tonight but try to relax xxx
Hope you are both ok xxx
Good grief, your head must be in a whirl, thank heavens the police came up trumps and sorted the lad out and hopefully have put the wind up him, I do feel sorry for his mum, despite everything, although YOU are my main concern, tiredmum, glad you had a bath and feel a bit calmer
Hi Louise, I`m fine thank you, and yes I also feel sorry for his mum xxx
Oh tiredmum.
How awful for you. You have so much on your plate without all this extra stress. I am just so sorry to hear all of what has been going on for you lately. What a disgusting boy to do that.
I hope you are ok tonight tiredmum. Any news on your ex? It's dreadful about your daughter's boyfriend's mum too.
I hope you managed to relax after your bath. Any plans for tonight? Hopefully you will reply by saying relaxing.
Thinking of you xxxx
Hi mamaoftwo, yes its a lot of stress at the moment but I`m good under pressure, just as well really xxx
We have heard nothing from the childrens dad at all so adopting the no news is good news at the moment, he will be back on Mon so we will go from there. My daughters boyfriend it is such a shame, he is a lovely lad, and his mum hasnt even called him since Saturday!!!!!!!!
I had a much better day today, managed to hoover the car out, it stopped raining, also managed to get the tickets for my little boys concert tomorrow night, its a lot of schools performing in our biggest venue in our city, tickets were £5 each and I needed 2 one for me and one for 16 year old daughter so really didnt think I could afford it with the window for the car, but a very very special person came to see me today and gave me the money for the tickets, I cried xxx
I did get a little sleep last night, plans for tonight hmmmmmm not really but yes relaxing sounds good to me xxx
That was lovely about the concert, tiredmum, what a kind gesture but very well deserved. I was just thinking about what a mega couple of weeks you have had and if we wrote it as a TV script, I bet the powers that be would say " sorry, that's too unrealistic" 
Louise yes it was so kind and very much appreciated by me xxx
My little boy had a bad night last night, he was very tearful about his dad, took me till about 1am to get him to sleep. Its so horrible not being able to promise him that everything will be ok, I am deliberately not doing that but saying that the doctors and nurses will do their very best.
Well dont really know how I feel about what I have just been told, the lad who smashed my car window, last night was driving along a dual carriageway at 60mph, dont know what happened but he has lost control, rolled the car 5 times and hit a tree, he spent the night in hospital, has severe whiplash and a dislocated finger. He is saying that he is so lucky to be alive as his car is unrecognisable. Maybe he will learn from this, I do hope so.
Louise yes you are right, it does seem so unbelieveable doesnt it, think the next few weeks are going to be the same xxx
Yes and we will be here to help you through
tiredmum, i am just trying to catch up with the boards as have been busy with other One Space business recently and I am sooo sorry to read all that has been going on. You deserve a medal, or perhaps a 2 week cruise eh? 
What does today hold for you? Is your daughters boyfriend still staying with you or has he gone back to his dads?
Hi Anna, thank you xxx
Today is the music festival so off to that at 6pm till approx 10pm, little one is excited for that today.
Daughters boyfriend has gone home but comes here very day so we know he is fineish, his mum still hasnt text or called him though and its really hurting him xxx
Poor chap, I think you said that he kind of knew why his mum left his dad, but I guess that her not getting in touch with him, makes him feel rather abandoned. Are you reassuring him that she must be going through a very difficult time and no doubt she will be in touch soon?
Do you know her? Can you contact her?
How was the festival, I hope the weather held out?
I`m really not looking forward to this next week.
Little one called his father today off my mobile, luckily he answered, little one wished him happy fathers day and told him he loved him, he has settled better tonight for having been able to talk to him on what he calls a special day.
I also had a quick chat to him and all he kept saying was I need to get home I am so tired, he didnt sound very well.
He is flying back overnight and lands in Manchester around 8.30am, hosital Tues so should know more from then I guess xxx
In one sense it is good that these days have come, that he is in hospital and the treatment will start, these last couple of weeks have been so hard for you and the children, in a sort of limbo, at least things are now happening.
Sending you lots of positive vibes
Thank you xxx
Thinking of you all. xxx
Thank you xxx
Hugs from me tiredmum.
Thinking of you too.
xxx
Thank you xxx
Well what a night!!!!!!!!!!!!
The youngest 2`s father flew back in this morning and little one asked after school if his dad had been over, I said no not yet so he said oh thats good he has waited for me to finish school so he will be here soon, now you know when you get that feeling, well we waited, ate dinner, by 6pm little one was really mithering so I said we would give dad a call,he answered and little one asked if he had had a good day etc told him he had been swimming and then asked if he was coming over, he then aske dfor me so on the phone I went, he said he had lost his car keys( I think they have been deliberately hidden, not to be horrible but to stop him from driving certainly tonight) so he said that my almost step daughter was bringing him over, fantastic, we waited and we waited, at 8pm I called him to see if he was still coming, almost step daughter had changed her mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here I have ex on the phone crying, little one here crying, 16 year old daughter grumpy and 18 year old daughter looking at me as if to say please sort it mum!!!!!!
I called my eldest son and asked if he would be able to take the over and yes he didnt have a problem at all but didnt have any petrol, so bank of mum paid £10 to have all 3 taken over to see dad, my 18 year old isnt his daughter but as he has been around since she was 3 months old she regards him as her dad. He has lost more weight whilst he has been away and as my 18 year old daughter put it, he was wandering around doing bits of things he didnt need to, all of them are really worried now.
To his credit he did bring back a lovely tee shirt and cap for little one, really really nice, and some hersey bars for everyone else.
I am drained now, little one is in my bed and just having a coffee(me not little one) xxx
I'm so glad you managed to get it sorted.
What awful pressure on you though tiredmum
xxx
Thank you sparklinglime, I`m ok, I am good under pressure, joking apart though I am feeling it a bit tonight.
It was worth it though, even got a call to say thank you for sorting it which again was very unexpected but was nice.
Hope you are ok tonight xxx
That was a lot of stress for you all, glad they saw him though
Hi tiredmum. Glad the kids got to see him. What a let down on nearly step-daughter's part. You always seem to come up trumps for the children, well done. Do hope your ex is ok. Is it today he goes into hospital? Keep us informed. You take care, and hope tonight is less stressful for you. xxx
Hi everyone, well we all thought the appt was today but its tomorrow, he must have got a little confused about the dates we think as he did tell us it was the Tues that he got back but no its tomorrow at 5.30pm.
I`m tired and tearful tonight, just feel out of sorts with myself.
I think a lot of it is to do with me for the most part being a problem solver or making things better and with this I cant do that can I.
xxx
No, but you are brilliant at supporting them. It's tiring though, when it is 'only' you.
Thinking of you tiredmum.
xxx
Aww, tiredmum, sometimes we can't solve, we can only sit alongside someone, and that is valuable too (and you're great at that as well )
Thank you both of you xxx
It is mentally draining and my little one is upset at night mostly so thats not nice, the appt is today so might know more later.
I`m off to view the building in a while, I know it might seem odd to be doing that but I see it as a postive to focus on, wont think that when I cant raise the money but I do have a plan b and at least I can say I have tried.
xxx
I think a plan b is always good.
xxx
...and c and d....
Hi tiredmum. No one can solve a problem all the time, nor can they make every single thing better. You're doing what you can to support the children and the ex by the sound of it. Don't be too hard on yourself. I do hope you hear some news later, and hopefully your son will not be too upset tonight. How did the building viewing go? Take care. xxx
At the moment i'm on plan zz. I live in hope that one day I'll get something that works out 
You will.
In fact I can see plan aaa is imminent 
Aww there is a lot for you to carry right now, tiredmum
All you can do is keep on being the fab support you have always been for your children. Although do encourage them to go on that RipRap site and talk to other young people in the same situation