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I think this lot are already happy to be in the routine of school!
I just hate this feeling I have that it's going to be a long winter already.
I know at the end of the working day, I am often pretty tired and don't feel up to the chatterings of a 16 year old girl! However I know drive home and prepare myself, so that when I get in I make a cuppa and sit down with her for half and hour to an hour. Then I feel I have given her some quality time.
Then we sit together for supper and talk some more. Then she goes and watches the telly while I do other stuff, or we watch together.
I think it is important to balance work, play and family life. Although we don't always feel like it, just try and take half and hour here and there and give yourself over to your little one.
He doesn't need your attention 24/7, that isn't healthy for him either, he needs to find ways to entertain himself, you also have weekends together too, SO pnkgrapefruit stop beating yourself up!!
As others have said, and yourself, your boy has a lot to take in and he is probably just generally exhausted. Give him a couple of weeks!
How did it go today Pg? Hope your son had a good day also. xx
Hi, today was better than yesterday although I've got one really difficult class, determined to make progress with them tho.
Son seems to be doing ok, he's a bit disappointed as he has been moved down a group, he was in the top, now he's second from top. I think he's worrying what i think to that but I've told him I know he tries hard and that makes me very proud of him and its fine, seems wrong tho at 6 that he has to worry about that kind of pressure. I just want him to be happy and grow up a well rounded and balanced individual, oh there is always something to worry about! He has put his name forward to stand on the school council and got into the last 3 from his class, apparently today they have all had a written vote and he won't find out if he's won until next week. I know it would give him a massive boost if he were voted on but i keep telling him I'm so proud of him getting this far as I don't want him to be too disappointed if he doesn't. Fingers crossed tho ;)
Still daunted about the 7 weeks in front of us but its almost the weekend (well sort of...)
How is your son getting along hazeleyes? Are you still volunteering at the schooll?
pg x
It's horrid isn't it Pg, at this age, worrying about groups, whether they've been voted for stuff. I have conversations with C, always reassuring him that if he is moved down a group, it's not the end of the world, nothing bad is going to happen, and it just means he will be working at a level more appropriate for him. He has seen his friends being moved down, so now he is wondering 'who's next'. Tonight he told me that at the end of the year he'll be doing SATS 
I know they've got to be prepared, but blimey this is only the first week. On the first day, they were told about all the rules that the teacher has, and again, blimey, so many, and so different from the year below. So much to take on board for age 8's and 9's. One of the rules was that if you needed the loo during the lesson, you have to give up 5 mins of breaktime. C can go all day without going, but yesterday he came out asking if his kidney could be damaged as he'd held on to his wee for so long!! He had violin lesson during the morning break, so couldn't go when he first needed too, then it was straight into assembly. He was absolutely bursting, but was scared that should he ask to go, he'd miss some breaktime. I think this is absolutely awful, supposing he didn't get to the loo on time, all the kids would have made fun of him, and never let him forget it.
I shall keep my fingers crossed for your little fella.
I will be volunteering as from next week I think. They do like to get the children settled in first. Am keeping my fingers crossed for me too, need a job, 16 hours. As from yesterday I'm on JSA, so hopefully something will come up, as I really can't see me signing on each fortnight!!
Good luck with your class tomorrow. Just show em who's boss lol. xx
Hi pg
Hope you soon settle in with your new class, and that your son will be OK in the new group. I know you are a teacher and maybe you have some inside knowledge that says putting them into graded groups gets better outcomes? but I always think it is a bit stressful for kids, what do you think?
Hazeleyes that is terrible with the toilet rule, now I understand why they do it, some children think oh well I won't go at break as I will miss playtime and also it is getting them used to self care ie thinking I had better go to the loo while I have a break, in preparation. However!!! I remember as a child, I was a bit younger than C but the teacher said no-one else had better ask to go to the loo...so I wet myself....and obviously there was a big puddle and she said why didn't you ask and I said you just said no-one was allowed to go. Do stress to C that it is really important to go when he needs to, even if he loses some playtime.
That's not good with the loo. It can lead to infections too which will mean some will miss school.
There have always been sets in the high school here. In primary school, they would move around the classroom and some would sit in the group with the one to one to give some extra help (my son had one to one, but the whole class benfited, which I thought was brilliant).
Poor thing though being changed at his age.
Tears again from son this evening, as others in his class are being mean to him about moving down a group and laughing that he really struggles with his spelling. He is so worried about both his spelling and his handwriting and says the teacher won't help him now hes in year 2 and he has to sound things out but then the others laugh if he gets the spelling wrong. I'm getting really upset for him, I tried to get him to do bits of spelling over the summer but he was very difficult to persuade to do much and now we're back at school he gets so tired and gets upset if i mention maybe we could do some spelling together. Anyone got any ideas?
Also I'm blaming myself for working full time and not having enough time to spend doing this kind of stuff with him - something that i always feel if i picked him up at 3.30pm i would be able to do - do most mums manage to do spelling and writing and reading and maths with their kids? and have i really neglected things? he does read to me every single evening without fail and thats something i make sure doesn't slip. feeling very worried tonight.
pg x
Hi PG. Do not blame yourself. Children can be so mean can't they. I'm sure you've explained to your little fella that being moved down a group just means that this level is more comfortable for him, and so he doesn't have to struggle anymore. Could you perhaps go in and see the teacher or maybe write a letter outlining your concerns, and also the concerns of your son. I used to play I spy with C, and once he or I found the word, we had to spell it. In the early days, we'd do the sounding out, and then the spelling, walking along the road, I'd point to something, ie door, car etc, and C would then spell it. I always think if you can make learning really fun for them, then it comes a lot easier. Spellings on the website? They are also games, so a lot more fun to do.
You haven't neglected anything, so don't even think that. Last term when C was in year 3, I know a lot of children were telling their parents that the teacher would no longer help them. Outrageous. If I were you, I would also voice concerns over what your son has said regarding this. It is a huge worry for him. I constantly tell C if he doesn't understand, then he has to ask the teacher, as that is what they are there for. You are doing the very best you can at home with him, as well as preparing your own stuff for school. I do hope tomorrow is a better day for him. xx
thanks hazeleyes, am beside myself with worry for him, can't do my work tonight, been too busy crying. Going to ring his teacher tomorrow and see if i can go and see her, but deepdown I know he really struggles with his writing and spelling (and reading too really...) I'm wondering if it might be dyslexia and how i can help.
Well the teacher will be able to guide you in that, pg. Please do not show your boy you are so upset, that will add to the pressure. Rather, acknowledge HIS feelings calmly, something like "I am sorry you are sad about what is happening, don't worry I will do my best to sort out out for you, I am so proud of you and as long as you try your best it doesn't matter what group you are in, you are my top boy!"
Hazeleyes has given you some excellent ideas for spelling games, too, and you know from your own teaching experience that if he IS dyslexic there is excellent help available.
Hi Pg. Hope you managed to have a chat with your son's teacher today. Here is a link for some fun spelling games.
Hope you both have a lovely weekend. xx
Good luck with the school pink grapefruit.
Don't beat yourself up about things you think you 'should' have done better. Or working full time. This is normal and lots of one parent families do it, its called survival, your son gets lots of your time and by sounds of things really doesn't need more to make him a 'better' person, he's fine as he is.
You like to admonish yourself pg, look at the good stuff, all is well, Your son reads to you every night, you are going to talk to teacher, you are going to support your boy with the teasing (we all have to learn how to deal with it at some stage in our lives). I know it hurts as a parent, however you know that no intentional malice is meant by it at this stage, it is children being silly.
Hi Pg. I hope you and your son have had a good weekend. Week 2 and hopefully it will be a better one for him. Thinking of you both. Take care. xx
One down six to go...
Spoilsport for saying that 
Hi everyone, sorry vanished for a few days, just been really busy. Son seems to have settled down a bit in his class now, I spoke to the teacher and things seem to have improved.
I'm just ever so tired. I know I'm always saying that but I have a massive list that needs doing for school and loads and loads of marking sitting next to me making me feel guilty even for taking the time to type this. I'm not doing anything else tonight tho. I'm tired and I haven't had any time to myself really since wwe went back to school. All i do is spend time with son or working, I have absolutely no interests and i feel i am losing touch with lots of my friends (not just my fault - everyone is so busy just surviving, aren't they?). I'd love some kind of hobby that involves me with a different group of people or that means i see more of my exisitng friends but i can't seem to tackle the issue of yet more childcare if i was to do that - seems wrong when i'm already putting son into breakfast and afterschool club - i just feel that i'm going to end up a pretty lonely boring workaholic. And its now getting to the point when if I do mention going out somewhere and getting a babysitter son gets upset and asks me not to go...its been so long since i've gone out anywhere much really. do you think i should do an evening class or something? anyother bright ideas to keep me sane and in touch with people??
thanks
pg xx
ideally i suppose i'd have a small group of friends that came to my house every week (therefore saving on babysitting costs) but how could I arrange this? my friends are pretty busy with their own families (albeit they are all married so do have the childrens dad around to help out) - i thought about suggesting a book club or something but i suspect it would sound like too much hard work for people - any ideas?
Hi pinkgrapefruit
This time of year is always tiring. After 6/8 weeks of relaxing and slowing right down over the summer, it is all systems go now. I think what makes it harder is that it is getting darker earlier, it rains and Christmas is coming (eek!)
Do you have a To Do list for all the things you need to do? So you can tick them off and you can manage the work effectively?
I think a book club sounds great! Or a supper club? If 1 in 4 parents are single parents, we are all surrounded by people experiencing the same thing! A friend of mine has started doing Kung Fu with her son, she wanted to find something that they could do together and that was the result, she has met a few nice people and really enjoying it!
You could advertise something either book club, supper club or just get togethers for mums and sons perhaps (remember lots of women have partners who work late on Fridays, work away etc) either in the local paper or on Meetups, just to see what kind of interest there might be?
Supper club sounds good - they can use your cooker when its their turn perhaps.
I do think the darker evening somehow make the day seem so much shorter and I know i'm ready for bed by 9pm!
Missing summer already here.
i like the idea of Kung Fu! would be great to both go along to a new club where i join in as well and meet people. Done a quick internet search and can't find anything convenient tho for a combined adult / child class, will keep looking out tho!
supper club sounds even better but requires me to be braver to approach people and arrange and what with my current state of shyness i'm going to struggle with that...
...but people would totally love to be asked and I am thinking that you would make their day!
I agree, everyone likes to be fed! I think the hard thing would be getting people to return the favour!!
Perhaps you could make it an enrolment supper club, with or without children. All proceeds go towards the drinks for the evening! 
hi - rubbish day, rushing around like a mad woman, feel shattered.
a family friend died earlier in the week and this afternoon i've found out that my best friend has been taken into hospital as shes had a fever for a week and they have noticed a heart murmur so shes having lots of tests. wanted to go and see her in the morning but they don't allow visitors till the afternoon and i've got other friends coming over in the afternoon that has been arranged for ages so don't think i'll manage to see her.
its all making me think. i really don't feel happy at the moment, i'm so lonely kust working too hard and then being too tired with too little time to do anything else. i want to move to another part of the country, closer to family, but that would mean moving son further away from his dad and i know his dad would not handle that well. i hate conflict and just can't stand the thought of that conflict so just keep putting up living somewhere i don't really want to be. just feel stuck her by an ex that makes my life as difficult as he possibly can. if we moved i'd have to commit to son staying everyother weekend with his dad but if that was in another area it would mean he couldn't properly commit to a football club, friends etc that all revolve around being in the same place at the weekends, its really getting me down.
have spent the last few days listening to work colleagues grumbling and bitching about each other, other friends are having other problems, the family friend died and i feel terribly sad for his immediate family, there is not much good stuff around at the moment. i cried this afternoon and my son had to comfort me, hate doing that to him, but i just felt so down and lonely, wish i had someone here when son goes to bed, or even good friend that i felt i could ring anytime, my current friends i always feel i'm interrupting and its never the right time to ring.
i felt great over the summer, how can i feel so low now? seriously considering resigning from my job, life is surely too short to do something that steals so much time and energy from me and leaves me an emotional wreck.
pg x
Hi pg. Sorry to hear about the loss of your family friend, and now your other friend being taken into hospital. I hope you're able to visit soon, but if not, she's aware of your situation, and will understand perfectly that you have a busy schedule with school and your son, as well as other stuff.
When someone we know dies, we do take a long look at our lives don't we, and think life is too short. Yes, it is too short, but is giving up your job really what you want to do? I actually think if it's still making you so unhappy, and it's not just weeks, it's been months and months of it hasn't it, then perhaps it is time to think again about what else you could do maybe. Something in teaching, but not so stressful? How about the infant or Junior schools? I know that would still entail a lot of preparation in the evenings, but I'm thinking it wouldn't be as hard as it is for you now, working in the High school I mean. (Blimey I hope that makes sense). As for you and a possible move, you've got to do what is right for you, don't think too much about your ex. He would still be able to see your son, have access etc, and if you'd be happier living nearer your family, then...... Have you spoken to your son about a possible move, just to get his feelings on it? I've often thought of moving somewhere else, but even though others would say, our children are young enough to settle anywhere, I don't think I would actually do something if C wasn't 100% for it.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time still. Loads of hugs xxxx
Hmm that is a thought, Hazeleyes, teaching a younger age group.
Sorry to hear about your bereavement, pg and that your friend is poorly. I think it seems that your life and schedule are so full that there is no "slack" in it, ie when something happens, there is no time avaialble to take it into consideration.
It's natural to think "I want my Mum" when the going gets tough.....and yes maybe it would mean that she would care for your son sometimes and free up some time for you. As you say, the other side of that is that your son would then be going off alternate weekends. Try not to get too down about the possible negative aspects of things, however, nothing is ever perfect and one of the ways to get the best life for yourself is to be resourceful ie do the best you can at any particular time, with the resources you can summon.
What a difficult week you have had and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Have you been able to speak to your friend, even though you've not been able to see her?
Moving away is something I seriously considered. I have such a good friend who lives in the north east, and she has such a good network of friend, I know it would have been good. It was also close to my best friend, who has since died.
My situation is different though, and I would not have been moving closer to family.
I think the reasons you put forward as to what your son would be missing out on is key. My lot were 12, 10, 8 and 5. The things that mattered most to them was the consistency of school, their friends and with my youngest his football club...
Is there anyway you can cut down on your work load? While I appreciate that marking and preperation needs to be done, are youi perhaps putting more work than necessary into it? I know you want to give 100% in everything, but is there a way that 98% would do? Are the notes you made last year able to reduce things for this year at all?
As for the bitching. I have worked in different evironments over the years from the civil service to Tescos, and the bitching, believe me, goes on everywhere. And if you think women are bad, you should work with a bunch of plumbers 
Loads of hugs pg.
Hi pinkgrapefruit, you are hitting a low again.
Think about what you have learnt with your counselling. Since you have been with us, you do hit lows sporadically, however you do come back up.
Having a close friend die, can have a much bigger impact on us than we realise. You need to keep looking after yourself.
You have talked about moving nearer your mum before. You really have to trust your own heart and feelings. Your son will be able to find a new football club and make new friends he is only young. You have to do what is right for you. I am sure if your ex got offered the opportunity of a lifetime but had to live elsewhere, he would take it.
This is your life and the only one you get, so you have to do whatever it takes to make the most of it.
Have you done a pros and cons list recently about moving?
Hello Pg, just wondering how things are going for you? Really hope things are settling down for you at school, and you are managing a bit better. How's your little boy? Have a lovely weekend. xx
Hi - thanks Hazeleyes. Things are still pretty tough at the moment to be honest, not been on the boards as it seems like all i do is come on here and complain and grumble. Cried at the end of school yesterday as I was tired out and someone asked why I hadn't done something - the fact is i work every spare moment I have but it still doesn't seem good enough. Having a big think. My son is my only priority. I know they won't fire me but I have to either let the criticism wash over me and jump through as many hoops as I can or walk away from it as I can't carry on letting the negative environment have such an effect on me. I'm someone that performs much better tho with a bit of praise rather than being made to feel inadequate so its a difficult job for me. Walking away tho doesn't stack up financially so unsure really what to do. Am keeping my eyes open for other options like you have previously suggested. Hope everything is ok with you xx
i hope you manage to have some fun and a rest over the weekend.
xx
Hi pg
try not to be so hard on yourself. It comes across from your posts that you are someone who sets really high standards for yourself. Rather than needing to feel you have achieved 100%, if you cut yourself some slack and say I am doing what I can, and 75% is fine.....then I think you might have a different feeling about things
Hi Pg. I agree with Louise, don't set yourself such high standards. I'm sure that would take a lot of pressure off. I hope you haven't got a lot of work on this weekend, and you're able to forget the books for a while. Half term is coming up, are you still going to your Mums? Perhaps a heart to heart with her is also what you need? Take care. xx
pinkgrapefruit, your mantra this week shall be...
"I love and approve of myself"
Repeat it 400 times a day for a week, see how you feel :)
Hi Pg. Another Friday, yeahhh. How has your week been? Really hope things have been better for you. Do you have plans for the weekend with your son? Whatever you're doing, have yourselves a good one. Half term just a few days away
Four more sleeps....
defineately on count down to half term.....will post more then when i have a bit of breathing space. Am toying with requesting to change to 4 days a week (am i right in thinking they have to be reasonable in this request as i have a child? how old does the child have to be for that not to apply?)
Also toying with self employment .....can i ask an honest question? Do you think after school maths classes would be popular in a community centre or similar? Not individual tutoring but say max 10 kids at a time in a calm positive environment? Do you think parents would pay for that??? And how about pre-school maths classes for the yummy mummy brigade during the day time? Every toddler activity i used to take son too used to be very popular - do you think i could push a numeracy angle?? Any initial thoughts very welcome...
pg x
Hi Pg. I think school maths classes is a fantastic idea. I do know though that private tutoring can be very expensive, so if I were you I'd enquire first about the interest in it, from parents in another high school perhaps, or even the junior school. You've obviously got your thinking cap on, well done. I for one think the ideas are great!
If you live in the area with a 'yummy mummy' brigade then why not?
I'd love to have tutoring for my younger two, but it isn't feasable for me.
Perhaps an idea to put a business plan together and investigating the prosptective client base around your area.
Is there a regular group in the community centre? You could get an idea from them of the people who use the facilities and if they think they'd be open to the idea. You could look into costs too (which you've probably done already...)
Three sleeps....
Hi pinkgrapefruit, I agree I think people would pay for it, yummy mummy brigade or not, most of us want our children to do well in school and we all know that if they can get the basic maths under their belt before senior school then all they are well on their way.
I don't know where you live, but where I am there is a lot of community classes for children whose first language isn't English. They are well behaved and want to learn.
Sounds like you have some research to do! Do you know your local community centre and what they offer?
Keep us updated, I love it that you are thinking outside the box! Good Luck
thanks for the encouragement - i think there would be demand but what I have to be careful about is the hours - i would have to run the lessons afterschool that mean that i still would have to put my son in afterschool care or expect him to come to classes with me - it would be quite restrictive if i had lessons more than say twice a week after school, its finding stuff to do during school time that would be better...i'm contining to think altho i'm exhausted today, not much real thinking happening!
x
It would be a real shame for you to give up the teaching Pg, as you've worked so hard for this, and succeeded in becoming a fantastic teacher. How about looking along the lines of carrying on full-time teaching, but at a Junior school perhaps? I'm sure this would be much easier in the sense of after school work, preparing lessons etc. From what I've seen as I've volunteered, is the year teachers all give the children the same homework etc, so they work together on it. I'm not for one minute doubting that it's hard work, but perhaps a lot less stressful for you, which means a happier Pg. Only a couple more days to go. When are you going to your Mums?
Hi pg
I like your ideas! You do need to test the water as to how much people would pay, to see if it would be financially viable. You might even find that as well as running your own session you could write a workshop for parents with their small children and deliver it to established toddler groups/children's centre meetings in your area, obviously they would have to pay a fee to get this, which would be your wages...and then you can advertise your regular class to them
You asked about altering your hours. Here is the law about flexible working, have a look at all the ins and outs
Working after school would start to take over (having worked from home for five years, I ended up, on average, working 70 hours a week...).
Would teaching adults during the day be an option? Again in the community centre. A lot of adults want to get extra qualifications or be able to help their children (I hate maths and just don't attempt to confuse my son with my efforts!).
Along with an evening or two maybe.
The main issue, I feel, would be matching the income of being employed...
Sorry to be moidering here.
Hi Pg. Just thinking about you, and hoping now you're able to chill out for a week. If you go to your Mums, have a fab time with your son. Perhaps chatting to your Mum will help you in your decisions. Take care. xx
have been feeling very tearful today - not sure why, think its just my tiredness and relief that i've made it to half term. Can't think straight right now, will post more when i'm more together xx
Hope you're ok Pg. You're probably right, the two mixed together, tiredness and the relief of it all. Take care. xx
Enjoy a couple of days off before working on the business ideas.
Hi pinkgrapefruit, welcome to half term! I am sure you are in much need of a break!
I wonder if it worth keeping a diary, as you seem to have high points and low points and you could see whether it is due to tiredness, not eating healthily, over work etc.
Glad it is all going ok. It sometimes takes the younger ones a week or so to settle, though saying that, C has always settled in on day 1 (think he's pleased to escape me, hehe) By next week, it'll feel as if we've never been out of the routine (I hope). It is so miserable in the mornings, and you just know winter is coming, and it's definately not a nice thought.
Hope tomorrow is a good one for you both. xx