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Have a wonderful holiday, hope everything pans out the way you want it too!!!
Hi Ronnie,
thanks for posting! It's always good to know I'm not on my own (really it's stuff you read about that happens to other people, but not to yoursefl, isn't it!?!). When I'm back from hols we can exchange stories! x
Thanks Hazeleyes, am just taking 5 mins then I'm finally starting to pack. Have been straightening house and preparing pet instructions until now! Daughter been fantastically helpful. No2 son a little. No3 son is passively resisting everything. At least I'll sleep well! 
Hi Hopeful
Yes we all wish you a great holiday, will miss you and look forward to hearing all abou t it when you get back.
Hello Ronaele.irwin
So glad that this thread has helped you, too. And that you have been brave enough to post that.......I know that whilst threads on this board are helpful for the person who posts them, many people read them and some of those people are in the same position and can benefit from the information for themselves
Also....isn't it great to know that however hard things may be, other parents are going through the same thing!!!
Hi Ronaele.irwin, welcome to One Space, I am sorry to read that you are experiencing similar issues as Hopeful.
Is your son home from camping now? Was the issue with him going camping:
1) He didn't ask you?
2) He didn't tell you he was going?
3) You didn't know where he was?
When you talk to him about it, don't let him sidetrack you into an argument about anything other than the one issue. A good tactic is repetition.
Do you have other children?
Hi all! Finally got some internet access, hurrah!
So far so good, No3 son seems to have calmed down a bit although he keeps telling me he wants to go home and he's bored, but I think it's probably more because he feels he has to.
Managed to hire some bikes for all three (£ 12 per bike per week - bargain!) so they try to follow the hiking trails in the forest. No2 son came off and really hurt himself quite badly, but he's back on now. The best thing is they stick together - not too much arguing, and the boys look after their little sister quite well when they're out on the bikes. :-)
Weather is around 28 - 30 today, hurrah! :-)
This is my postcard from holidays... Hope all are ok! x
Hi Hopeful
Your holiday sounds wonderful, especially the weather!
FYI - Its grey and rainy here and pretty chilly - make the most of your sunshine!
It sounds fantastic that all the children can get along (most of the time), they obviously have a strong bond together. Take a mental picture 
While the youngsters are cycling, what are you getting up to?
I was just think about you last night, Hopeful, and wondering how your break was going, glad to hear all about it (although I would be daunted by those temperatures, I bet sparkling will agree with me ) The bikes sound a great idea.
Sitting here, with the rain lashing down, and reading your post with envy Hopeful. Really pleased it's going well. Enjoy the rest of the holiday. Happy biking!!!
Ah yes, I am so with Louise!
I'm so glad you're having a really good time. I'm glad the children are getting on too.
Hehe, those temperatures are just my thing! I'm loving them!
Son No3 turning into a right explorer.
Went swimming (they have OUTDOOR pools here!) with daughter twice.
Son No2 still a couch potato.
Son No1 and girlfriend arriving on Thursday.
Have seen lots of old friends - AND been asked on a date! Now what was one of those...????? 
Hope it's not too rainy in Blighty x
No, no, no Hopeful we will not be jealous....I SAID WE WILL NOT BE JEALOUS 
Seriously, I am so pleased you are all having a good time and hope son no 1 will add to the fun.
Are you going on the date? 
I hope you did go out on the date!
Glad you're having a good time.
Me too
Date is on Wednesday. Yes, I'll go, it's such an ego boost! Just a bit of a shame that nothing will come of it, because I'm not sure I can do long distance and all that....
Thanks for all the encouragement though! xx
I'm sure it will be a boost, and I'm glad you're going.
Have a good time.
Hopeful, just go on the date and enjoy yourself, it will be a brilliant ego boost! Am excited for you!
It sounds as though you are all having a fantastic time. The weather is quite lovely here today, but I hear rain is on the way - oh how I would love to jump in an outdoor pool right now! go for a swim for me!
So, tell us more about your date, is he an old friend or someone new? Where are you going? What are you going to wear??!!!!
I'm back!
Here's the headsup: Date was very very nice (turned into some more, too). I have known him for about thirty years so it was a bit of a surprise to suddenly do the dating thing. Didn't really think about the what to wear question - I only had limited wardrobe anyway! He really would like to try the long distance thing, so we'll see....
-------
On the children front - they had a good time, even though they won't admit it. They especially loved it when No1 son joined us for a long weekend - it was like something out of the Waltons with so many of us!
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On the down side, No2 son's GCSEs were not good enough, so we have a meeting with the school on Monday to see what he can do. Any helpful links on 'child-can't-stay-on-at-grammar-school-what-to-do-next'???
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Will do some catching up on here over the weekend! xxx
Hi Hopeful. Welcome back The dates sound promising I think it's great that you've known each other all these years, and then BINGO hehe. I really hope the long distance thing works out for you, plenty of people do it, so why not you too.
Sorry to hear son no2 didn't get the results needed. I don't know what to suggest I'm afraid, but am sure someone will be able too. Take care. xx
Hello Hopeful, we have missed you!
Glad that the holiday generally worked so well and you hit it off so well with the chap, sounds exciting!
Sorry about your son's results and good luck for the appointment. The school will have the local knowledge that will help you consuder his options, but here is a general education info page. There is also a National Helpline on 0808 100 8000
My eldest re-did year 11 and achieved really good results. Sometimes it helps them realise how much effort they actually need to put into their work (not that this worked with my eldest...!)
Good luck with the meeting.
He he Louise, I wonder what 'the chap' would make of being called 'the chap' - he's 6'5"....!!! And yes, Hazeleyes, it's strange after all those years. What a surprise!
Thanks for the link Louise, I'll have a look! xx
well, Hopeful, the alternative was to sing in a silly five year old's voice: "Hopeful's got a boyfriend" LOL
I am a very happy Hopeful today! 
Just got back from the appeal meeting at the grammar school and No2 son has been given a second chance and is allowed to stay on for A-levels!
If I had any champagne, I'd open the bottle now! Instead I'm heading to buy a suit for said son, and a camera because he's taking photography.
Hope everyone's bright and cheery, too!!! xxx
Oh, forgot to say: No2 son insisted on going into the meeting by himself first of all and I was called in at the end just to learn what they'd talked about. This means that he CAN take responsibility for himself and I haven't done such a bad job after all!!!
Am very very proud of him!
Hooray that really is good news!!!
I think you should treat YOURSELF to something too....heh heh
Hmmm.... but what Louise? Really, it's him who did it all! :)
I might decide to drop in on a friend tonight and celebrate then....
Oh, AND No3 son has asked me to go through his English syllabus with him (does that have two ls?)
The world is beautiful!
Wow that's a bit of a turn up for the books! Bit like my son actualy agreeing to have cookery lessons from me at last.
Yes time with your friend sounds good. Sparkling lime would recommend some music, singing and dancing too!
Hi Hopeful, well done to you and all your children, it sounds like your break did you all a world of good, re connecting with each other.
Don't put any pressure on whether you will have a long distance relationship or not, it is what it is, hopefully if nothing more but a good friendship that makes you feel good. Any pressure and it is not good.
I stupidly went out with someone who said they were an all or nothing sort of person, when they wanted us to live together. I wanted the 'happy family' but still wanted to keep my own space. Because of this all or nothing option, I bought into it - BIG mistake! Listen to your head first and then your heart. Most of all, just ENJOY!
Cheers! **chink of glasses**
I think that sounds brilliant!
I was rather proud of my son when he went to see the head of year to re-do Year 11. It was very difficult for him but he did really well...
He certainly did, sparkling
Ah, Anna, but we're talking about someone I have known for a long time and I think we're both old and wise (ha ha ha) enough to be relatively sensible. I have no intention of giving up my whole life and plans and everything just like that on a whim and neither does he. He's coming over in four weeks for a long weekend and he won't be staying at my house, but at a B&B, so you see, we're being good little urchins! 
Will of course enjoy!
No2 son is being very horrid at the moment. After his great performance to get back to do A-levels I'm not allowed to tell him to do the washing up, drying up, picking up after himself etc etc. Grrrr!!!
No3 son has promptly got himself into a spot of bother on only the third day at school. He got bored in maths (he says it's too easy and he should be in a higher set, but because of last year's behaviour he didn't perform accordingly.....) and disturbed the class. The new teacher seems quite strict and sent him out without a warning first. He ended up in the maths' head's class where he sat on the remote control (by accident he says) and disabled the white board! So now he has to report every lunchtime for a week.... And so the saga continues. It's his birthday tomorrow, so maybe he'll grow up a bit!
Oh heck. I'm sorry things aren't so good again.
I used to give the "now you're an year older" talk
...so number three son could be encouraged to "show THEM" that he is better than this, by getting top marks, with the added bonus that escaping into another set means that he gets away from that teacher!
As for your non-chore boy, well I don't know what you have done about that, but my own attitude is that I tend to say ok let's none of us do our chores, oh whoops no tea made and not even any food in the house. It really does seem to take them ages to realise that we parents are really not enjoying the trail to the shops or the piles of laundry and we do it as our part in things. The privileges of the house, such as Xbox, internet etc, only go to those who have done their chores as well!
Sounds as if you have your eyes wide open re this new relationship , hope you have a lovely time when he comes to visit.
Hey Louise,
Have had that talk with No3 son already (great minds, ey)! He seemed to be in accordance with me for once, let's see how long it lasts....
Have tried the not doing chores or anything (remember my mouldy washing up? Yuck!) AND they all have to do their own laundry anyway. Really my only option is the internet (no xBox etc here!), but then No2 son needs that for homework and without constantly sitting next to him I can't control how much other stuff he does (big sigh). I think he's probably got girlfriend trouble or something else he doesn't want to talk about; he's not normally as bad as that.
No3 son is crying and won't tell me why! He's supposed to be happy, it's his birthday!!!! 
He's asked to go out now and I've said ok.
Sparkling, it's not that bad. He doesn't misbehave deliberately.When he chats he just gets distracted - usually teachers give him a warning and he buckles up. This teacher didn't do that....
I do hope No3 son's ok.
Trying to work out what's going on can be so tiring.
Issues with youngest now they're back at school. He's found a really good friend in high school, and I've become friend's with this lad's Mum, which selfishly is nice for me.
Back at school, another lad, who was grounded throughout the holidays is now making waves. Attitudes of my son and his friend have both immediately changed.
His Mum was here yesterday evening as she needed to get away from her house - as this lad lives close by.
I do hope you have a good weekend.
My younger two lads have been up for a while and have done quite a few chores - without me asking **faint**
Happy Birthday to your son, Hopeful
I seem to have missed some threads lately!! Hopeful, I do hope your son had a lovely Birthday. xx
I hope he enjoyed it too. How is he today?
Hi Sparkles!
Didn't get to post before.... No3 son cheered up yesterday - maybe he was just hormonal on his birthday, who knows? He seemed quite alright this morning, too, with lots of pleases and thankyous....
Still leaving chaos wherever he walks, but hey!
Tee hee Hopeful, your post made me chuckle! Of course you are both grownups and I trust you to behave accordingly!! 
Are you still making that effort for special time with son2? I wonder if there hasn't been any 'two of you' time, so feels put upon when you tell him to do things around the house.
sparklinglime, great to hear that your boys are helping out around the house! Good stuff!
Ah Anna, good point, I was thinking about that, too. Still working on the hotel thing...
He's already decided (after 1 week) that taking Spanish for A level is 'too hard' because he's already 'forgotten everything'.... and can he change it to some other subject. Grrrr. I've told him he has to sort that one out himself. It would be a shame though as he's got a talent for languages.
No3 son came home crying again. He's having trouble in English now. Had a call from the teacher who said he has to get his attitude right or she'll put him down a level. I told her to speak to his former teacher who was excellent and built such a good relationship with him over the last three years and who has really helped. He is upset about the new teacher (he takes ages to trust anyone...) and says he doesn't want to be in this class. Am at my wit's end again and don't know what to do........ I am sure it will sort itself out though.
Sorry for moaning! It just seems everytime I take a step forward something pushes me back two....
Any ideas on motivation???? Bribery doesn't work....
Motivation, there are two ways, the carrot and the stick. I think the carrot is better. There again, the stick doesn't actually have to BE a stick, it could be "consequences", something like "oh dear, if you are not going to do your homework then I am thinking that you have not earned the Pc that day" or similar. I always used to tell my youngest that if he did certain things he would be banned from the Internet at home for a certain period AND I would be in touch with the school and explain that as we had no Net, he would be doing his homework every lunchtime and breaktime on the computer in the school library 
Hi Hopeful
My daughter has decided to drop English Literature in the first week of A Levels, I was worried about it for a minute or so, but she has to make those decisions herself, I was going to talk to the 6th form, but she wanted to deal with it. She says they treat her like an adult and she wants to deal with it as such.
With your eldest, I think we have to let them decide for themselves. They are now in non compulsory education and it is pointless them doing something they are not happy with. If he is good with languages, maybe he will end up travelling one day and pick it up again?
Can you speak to the teacher of son2, the one that you and he like? See if there is anything they can do ie: have a word with this new teacher on how to work best with your son?
Two steps forward one step back - that sounds very familiar! Just keep going forward. Spend some quality time with son2, point out his good qualities, see our article Each child is unique. Whatever he decides to do with his life, as long as he is confident in himself, we can't ask for more. It sounds as though this teacher has knocked him a bit, maybe that is why he is being more difficult at home.
Hi Anna,
I think you're getting all my sons mixed up! No1 is out of the house, No2 is the one who is now doing A-levels and No3 is the one who made me come on here in the first place and who's struggling with his new English teacher! (There is my daughter, too, but she's not a problem - yet! Also there's only one daughter, so no mixing up....)
I keep looking for things to praise about. And I have told No2 son that he has to sort his own A-levels out although I think it would be a shame to drop Spanish. I have said the most important thing is that he is happy with his choice. The thing is that he'll have to do something about it himself and I hope he does it because if he gets into his lethargic state again it'll be too late. But I've decided not to worry about that too much now. He IS almost seventeen......
No3 son always has a problem with new teachers, more so with women than with men. He says this particular teacher doesn't carry through her threats and therefore he has no idea where he stands. He wants to go down a set - not because he can't do the work, but because of the teacher - but I have pointed out to him that he should aim at the best grades possible and that he always has this new teacher problem. Fingers crossed it'll sort itself out!
Have decided to be very optimistic alround!
Will be keeping my fingers crossed too, Hopeful, it is always tempting to panic when teens start throwing spanners in the works but quite often things settle down by themselves.
Hi,
he's off school again today. Complained of headaches all yesterday and was very flushed. Was sick in the night and took a shower around 2 am! And it's his sports btec today, so he'd not normally miss that.
He made me giggle though: I had a letter and he was all in awe, saying 'it's all the way from Germany! Is it IN German? Can you READ German?' Bless him!
So much for being optimistic and apologies in advance for sounding negative:
Just had a running with No3 son who says he's feeling better now and can he go out. I've said no, people who can't work can't play and he's saying but he's feeling better etc etc and now he can't do anything. As this 'conversation' was still ongoing a friend knocked for him and No3 son said he wasn't opening the door. The friend was quite persistent so I started getting up to go to the door to tell him why No3 son wasn't allowed out. So No3 got up, too, towering over me and telling me to 'stop behaving like an idiot'.
I felt so scared that he would hit me again. (like at the beginning of this post?). Now I am really upset that I am scared of my own son. I CAN'T HAVE THAT! I don't feel I can talk to him about this and anyway, I don't want him to know I am scared.
I was very close to saying just go then, but I think that's wrong. He kicked a bit of stuff downstairs (haven't checked yet what) and is now on laptop, probably facebook. I did tell him he was not to talk to me like that, which is when he went downstairs.
Fear is so so ugly! 
Hi Hopeful,
I've just read through all your "stuff" and had to check a few times that someone hadn't done a post on my behalf!! I have a very similar problem with my 15...nearly 16yr old son. Even down to the going camping without permission (last night). This particular saga is still up in the air. At least reading the comments and advice left for you has giving me a few tips. I will keep reading and hope like you our sons decide that actually we're on there side and we love them and deserve some respect!!
Ronnie x