This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
The whole system is crap, there is no justice and i am left crying every day. How come he can emotionally abuse our daughter and constanty lie to everyone and they al beleive him they wont listen to me and my girl is now living with a psyco, alcholic and very ill w***er. cause he coasted her to say i hit her, The so called professionals are useless he has managed to manipuate all if them. and they keep saying ''oh if he does this it or that he will look bad'' yet everytime i go to court he gets away with it because there is too much to say and if i tell them everything they just say i'm trying to score points so i can't say jack.
Tired fed up with it, been going on for 2 years now and he is not going to change is he? no he won't and they don't know what to do about it. they may well just let him have want he wants because theres no solution
If they do find out the truth will i they say sorry? No they wont they don't care nothing they do makes any sense what so ever and there hipocrits, they put her on cpp cause emotional abuse cause were fighting apprentently!!! so then why place her with an emotionally abusive pyscho and why even lsten to his b***shitting lies?
bloody stupid. Thats why this country is failing to protect mothers and children and hundreds a year are killed. even if they get it in their thick heads whats going on it's too f***ing late
sorry i am really p*d off
abt
I'm so so sorry that you're going through this, and obviously your anger comes through, totally understandable too. I honestly don't the answers, but don't give up, keep fighting back. One day, hopefully, things will change for you.
Keep talking/ranting on here, rather than keeping things bottled up. We're hear to listen, and help support you.
Hi sounds like you have every right to be p*d off honey,and what you've written above sounds very familiar ... Sadly you'd think the ' professionals' would be vidulant with these men I mean they are ment to be trained as to that effect I really feel for you these idiots enable these men and are as blind as bats to what they do or indeed don't do I sit here shaking my head .... It just should not happen in this day full stop I think angry you've got me wound up like a spring too x they are utter t**ts I agree with everything u said Sorry not much use
hi i agree the whole system sucks,these men love the family courts, an audience is wot they love
I don't think I know what I can say to you as a way of advice, I do symparthise with you angry.
I do agree kiera it's what they do isn't it
It there an abusers script they all follow :-/
well in the freedom programme book says tht all the abusive men were all thrown in the mountains at 6 monts old and taught to say the do say and do same sh*txsame things, cos they and do the same sh*tx
sorri think said last post wrong, i meant to say they were taught to say and do the same sh*tx cos all abusive men say the same thing and bhave in same wayx
hi Kiera, imdoingthis
Thanks for your support and i know were all going through this hell, it's just a roller coaster of feeling. I am angry and bitter about whats happened and what continues and also upset and hurt, and frustrated and infuriated and pissed off all at the same time and i'm sure you both feel the same. Its hard isn't it. when we do reach an end can we all get together and fight for justice, no more women should go through this sh*t as if we haven't been through enough
saw my little girl and she couldnt stop kissing and cuddling me it was lovely but then he came to collect and dragged her off wouldn't let me have a minute over the time as if to say ''well shes with me now so there!!!'' it was his nasty attitude that upset me, if he thought of her he would handle it nicely
i need to show the judge the tactics of abuse, or do they know? they may know what they do but cause they don't know a solution they allow them to continue? i'm confused. maybe i will write to the judge and ask him, and explain i'm not trying to score points but if i could prove what he does i would, i do have some evidence it's just almost impossible to prove emotional abuse. Even though it's all the same about power and control
Anyway yes i will stay strong and keep on and pray as my life is now in the hands of a pyschologist (who has to investigate each of us, hopefully they will see what he is doing, i hope so, i try to have faith but find it very difficult to have any)
love to you all
abt xxx
hi angry it must b awful, these men av no morals any decent man wudnt behave at all like that,emotional abuse is hard to prove, im hopeioj now as ex as failed drug test for the second time tht case wil b dismissed,my soliciter gona say wot effects case is avin on me, and wil it b dismissed, hope so, then if he gets no contact for good b worried wot will ex do then, wil he leave it,dont think he will, hope ur ok hunx
Ladies, you are all going through such difficult times and my heart goes out to you. Please know that there are plenty of decent men and dads out there and what you have experienced is not the norm.
Glad you are all able to support each other. Sorry but I have had to edit all your posts re language (sorry but PG certificate level on here)
We are here for you.
hi angry how are u today, i do feel ur pain, i totatly understand where ur cumin fromx
Hi.
I just feel as though he has won, she's with him until assessments and court and then i dont know what they will recommend either they will say were both no good she be in care, or she stay with him or returned to me. but when i spoke to her on phone she said asked me to find her toy and she said it don't matter if it's messy because she not coming back she's not going to go in her bedroom anymore
so what has he told her?
very upset now. he planned all this, he coaxed her into drawing me smacking and he applied for housing with her birth certicate and moved into flat then i'm told she has to stay with him and then he moves his girlfreind in. so now he will say he has a proper family unit and can't provide better? what about my family my mum, dad, sons freinds all want to see her and we can't. don't know if i can stand this supervised visits for 3 month as it's too hard
i'm crying all the time
Sweetheart you are in such a hard place right now, take strenth from fighting for her or doing what can help keep strong for her she needs you right now.
have you got someone with you family or a friend? You need to accepThant offers of help or support
its very hard to think or see clearly I was not good at it but try to think straight take advice on board eat sleep as best you can , look after YOU angary because you need your strength to fight as best you can
tale care x
I agree IDT, it is good to lean on people and get through each day as best you can, do try to eat properly and I know it must be hard to relax but do at least rest, you need your strength.
It sounds as if as well as the obvious distress in missing your daughter, you are really, really angry at the way he has manipulated the system against you. Anger is an emotion that can either eat away at you or it can make you think "Right, I am NOT going to let the ******* grind me down, I am going to fight him every step of the way" and the anger can give you the energy to do this.
mornin angry, how can a man do this to his own dawter, turn er against er own mum, hes evil,but wot goes around cums around hun,and truth wil cum out for u, please please b strong, i no easier said than dun, i shud no,im angry and upset for u hun, why hell shud u av supervised visits, god my ex cud get supervised and hes vioelnrt thug for gods sake, the system us disgustin, i feel for u so much. i am ere for u, please dont giv up,.thts wot he wantsxxx
How are you feeling today?
Hi All
I'm sorry for being like this, yes the anger does make me strong i'm a very determined person anyway and strong. I just can't help worrying cause the system has let me down so far, i try to be positive and yes underneath it all i am sure the truth will come out in he end and that will wipe the grin off of his face. He is so evil it's unreal. my solicitor is helping shes told me some very usefull advice to what to say and what not to say cause she knows the system. so feel good about it.
I'm due to see little girl tommorrow can't wait for hugs and kisses, she's been blowing kisses down the phone and telling me she loves me, she's so sweet bless her.
Its ben fantastic having all your support on here and i really appreciate it. i hope i have helped you all as well cause were all suffering with these problems
Love to you all
abt
xxx
hi angry do no apologise,u av elped me hun, yes we are all suffering by these evil men, love to u toxx
Glad your going to see your little girl ;) stay strong sounds good wise words from your solicitor x
Have a good day tomorrow x
well been to phycologist and explained everything to her, he wasn't going to go and she asked me why? i said the only reason i see is that he has something to hide? surely that don't look good on his part. i explained everything and answered her questions honestly and seemed to go ok. will just have to wait now untill beginning of july for her report. told her i think he is ok as a father and wouldn't physically hurt her but am concerned about his health but mostly his emotional abuse. and she asked if he would be drinking my answer was yes as he has this alcolhol problem which he denies of course but it is there as he has operations don't drink for a couple months but then bing drinks which also effects his health. she asked what i want and i said i want my daughter returned to me and will except any help available i admit i have made wrong choices and part of that is something i suffered as a child and she said that makes sense as i am quite capable but find my emotions over rule my head sometimes and it over whelms me. i think she realises whats happening and realised she had been taken from me after being with x for a short period of time. i told her i been trying to protect her but i can't stop him from saying or doing what he wants and i have to defend myself i hate lies and i been unable to protect her because it out of my control. what can i do? i try and do what i can, its like i try and be amicable but it's almost impossible
i said there perhaps needs to be a parenting order where if he breaks it then thats down to him and he will be in trouble. i have never stopped him having a relationship with her i have always wanted her to have that
i wander what she will say?
suppose i'm going to be sick with worry for the next 2 weeks
abt xx
Hello abt
Well done for how you handled this meeting, it does sound as if she really "got" you and understood your point of view. It's always scary waiting for a professional report, it can feel like a "verdict" but you have done your best and been honest and informative.
When are you seeing your daughter?
Hi
I've seen her today and next is saturday, i want to ask the social worker for more time and see what he says. what i'm worried about also is if she has all this time with him until september that'l be 3 months will they say she's settled with him?
its states on court order she stays with him until early september and august my statement update regarding my contact arrangements in august
the guardian will give her recommendations regarding residence and contact just before court in september.
i'm nervous about guardian as i don't think she likes me same as social worker
if it all goes wrong i can contest it can't i? and i can tell the court they are bias and don't aggree with them as guardian has had very little contact with my girl she doesn't know anything only what the social has said. It's rubbish these so called proffessionals only know what to do my books and what it looks like on paper and it really isn't real life. they have no idea of our lives they were not living with us and didn't see what really happened.
i think i have some faith in the psychologist if noone else and shes been asked by the court so her word is the most powerfull?
pray for me please as our lives depend on it, if i lose her then my life is over
abt xxx
Good idea to speak to the social worker, I really don't know what your rights are in terms of the court so you need to check that with the solicitor or the Family Rights Group.
On an emotional level, you say your life would be over without your daughter and I totally understand that as a mum myself....but whatever happens, your daughter needs you and you need to stay around to support her as much as you are able/allowed to
I think your meeting with the psychologist sounded very promising.
hi angry ope ur ok, my court hearin yest didnt go as i planned, scared to death my horrible ex gona manipulate the judges,like he as everyone else, he didnt turn up yest, said he ad wrong date, so mre delays, i cried in colurt room cudnt elp it, to much now, i hate ex even more nowx
hi, i think it sounded promising but still don't know what she is going to receommend as she said the social are seriously thinking about care proceedings because they think theres problems with both of us, if she was to go into care then i wont see her again and if she stays with him i will be very limited and he will continue to do parential alienation. she then asked what i wanted to happen and i told her i want her returned to me and she has the weekend contact with her dad as before with a parenting order and if he brakes it he will be in trouble, i can only have more time if i can persuade the social worker who has all along been bias on x side and x has won he has it exactly as he wanted. if psycologist can't find him to be a physopathic naccasist it's doomed. because that is what he is. she asked me what happened when he ordered cars and sex objects on ebay using me account. but she wont know all the lies and stuff he has done. example his last statement was so full of false allegations untruths exagerated lies there wasn't one word of truth
xx
Hi Kiara
yes more bloody delay tactics, f*****g B****** it's a joke. courts allow them to delay all the time and then tell us it needs to be sorted as it's no good for the child
just ridiculas why do they listen to this ballsh*tting bloody lying b*****s
1 1/2 years and i am still angry bitter and twisted and bloody frustrated
it's ok to have a cry, something they don't do cause they got no feelings, i absolutley hate x for what he has done i hate the air he breaths i have never despised someone so much i will never ever forgive him and why should i, he is evil to the core and doesn't care how much he hurts me or our daughter so he doesn't desearve any forgiveness
yet keep the anger and it helps fights you fight him. they are also unbeleivable do they think were just going to give up? there deluded stupid ********s
hi angry i said to my soliciter why hell are they givin him chance after chance, he as lied alway thru court, and failed 2 drug tests, he is violent thug, cafcass guy did say in court tht he as lied alway thru court and failed 2 drug tests, yet he adnt turned up ,his solicter said he as bin to every hearin to b fair, omg and wot, god i hate him, i cried and cried,my solicietr said wot effect tht court is avin on my health and she wants case dismissed, anyway final hearin august 7th, i rang cafacss guy yest upset, he is on my side and says hes avin no contact til ex dun all the work hes supposed to,ex wants case adjpoured cos he cant afford put another application in, cafacss recomennds case closed which is wot i want, god if i adnt turned up i wud of bin bollocked,x
i rang lady from wave who runs freedom programme i cried and sobbed to er,it all came out, my ex said he aint goin away and he means it, aw hun i do feel for u,i really do, why dont they all see thru ur ex, why, these men are cold and no feelings,
It's good that you are still in contact with wave keira, hopefully you feel better for having got things of your chest.
Hi, because their useless they can't see what happens in front of their faces, yes it's not any good for your health or your child. Even if it gets to the stage when they finally stop helping the wrong person think how much damage they have been allowed to do. It's pathetic, like with me they given my beloved daughter to a phsyco same as he could be a murderer then if something happened they say oops sorry we don't know he was a murderer. It's a good job he isn't but he is capable if he didn't get his own way. we have to keep strong keep fighting the system and make sure they get stopped
xxx
abt
Hi abt and kiera, you are absolutely right, you have to stay strong, you also have to be kind and gentle to yourselves too.
What are some positives things you could do that would make you feel better? abt I was wondering whether you do much writing? You might consider writing little notes for your daughter when you think of her, so when she is older she can have the book or folder of Your Love? This means that when you feel at a loss, you are still connected.
kiera, I was thinking perhaps you could have a 'Family meal' and surround yourself with the people that love you, to remind you that you are not alone.
lets see what would make me feel better, oh yeah if my scumbag ex wud disapear
Yes i know i can do letters for her, not that i am thinking i wont get her back cause i will, but it's also not just me thatis missing her theres the rest of the family, i am not going to let the social break up my family.i will tell that to the social worker who is as crual and evil as x is. wander if they go drinking together? he has something on him perhaps he paid him? or bribed him
anyway they are out of order, they shouldn't be allowed to play with peoples lives they are supposed to protect children but they don't and haven't have they, whist they waste time faffin about they should act quickly and get proof of what is actually happening for example they could get voice recordings or even better film it. then take action on abuse. Not just make stupid poxy reports on what they read in their books and make exagerated accusations on hear say or their opinions and waste too much time. That bloke that was on the news some years ago that killed his kids was a naccasist. The social need to be experts in these kind of men and stop all this fart arsing about wasting time getting nowhere. except lining their pockets with cash for every child they place in care!!! that what it all falls down to!
kiera, Yes if x dissapears then your free to live your life, keep praying if we keep praying every night that would happen do you think it will give off those vibes and actually work? that's it i'm trying tonight!! no joke i beleive in spiritual stuff so i will then i be free as he's the only problem in my life
take care
xxxx
abt
yes i will pray now everynyt tht my scumbag ex wil disapear, he sonly problem in my life to xx
That's a good idea from Anna, to find some positive things you can do to help yourselves
Kiera, whether he "disappears" or not is out of your control. So what IS in your control....that is what Anna was asking, what could YOU DO, to help get yourself through the next few weeks?
Her suggestion was a family meal. I think that's a great idea...and myself, I would be making a countdown calendar of the number of days till August 7th and crossing them off....but I would also be reminding myself that the school summer hols start before that and thinking of some things to do with the boys before the court date 
Kiara
Please email me so we can keep in touch, also i have my own website
(website details removed)
i have got to go over some and make sure i correct some before sharing it to the world but it's there ok
love
abt
MODERATOR: giving out personal email/website details is against Forum rules, sorry, so this has been deleted
xx
hi angry aw i wud of loved to av emailed u but not allowed giv out details on ere hun, how are u xx
Hi Kiera
I am fine, everytime i see my girl i end up crying when i come out. today she ran to him and cuddled him as soon as end of session and i think well she's had all week cuddling him and he never used to cuddle her. i'm loosing her as in the beginning she cried and didn't want to leave me she wanted to come home, now she's happy with him, so will they say she is settled now?
i was thinking of how social is so bias and convinced he has either paid him or even threatened him as social worker does seem frightened of him and that would explain why he wont investigate his past or current girlfreind and he has been told twice to do that. he has very clearly been helping x get what he wants.
and it's not in my head as i know exactly what x is like, on the surface he is making out he's a saint but he does all the tactics of an abuser. i found a book called devorce poison so i ordered a copy, it's about parential alianation
i have asked social for more time, i'm waiting for him to arrange it, also i should get physcoligist report before 5th july so can't wait to see it
it's terrible isn't it, we try and live our life but can't really untill over and your one said he wont go away, mine said similar i told him last year i will fight him to the death and he said alright well your dead, and we want to move on but they are stopping us cause untill we protect our children they wont stop and we want them out of our lives so we can get them out of our heads
not long now, lets still be positive
abt
xx
hi hun, ur ryt we cant move on at all, at least for me last hearing 7th august, ex as do loads bfore he even gets any contact which doubt he wil do,give sme breathin space doesnt it, he ownt b happy tho cos he asnt got wot he wanted as he,means he wont b happy with me, he wil blame me tht he asnt got access,bit worried bout tht, how can a protection order protect me,eh, u wil get thru it hun, we av to dont wex
hi,
tried to find you on netmums but there loads of kiera
abt
xx
PLEASE NOTE: These forums are monitored. For the security of all our One Space users, members should remain anonymous. Attempts to meet up or find one another on external websites is against our forum rules.
Hi,
Just had pychologist report and it's bad, basically she says she recommends she stays with her father and i have supervised visits because our girl says she wants to stay with him and his girlfreind cause i smack her and i have emotional problems because of my past and need treatments, he told her loads of lies as per normal and our girl said she likes him because he buys her everything she asks for and takes her everywhere. she agrees his girlfreind should not be left to parent her but agree with his suggestion of having one of his family members to care for her should he go into hospital. all she said was she needs to keep a relationship with me but until i admit i'm rejecting her by doing punitive actions i am needed to be supervised. she is listening to her and doesn't beleive there is allienation and thinks that i cant trust him (oh what a supprise) i cant trust anyone because of my past!! thats not true i can't trust him cause he lies and even lies about lying! she dont know the whole story and she is basing her apinion of listening to a child of 6 that has been minpulated and what he has said about me. and there is no proof, again he says stuff like i'm voilent, smack that he hasn't done anything wrong and i never cuddle or show affection. why does everyone believe everything he is saying and not beleiving me, thinking it's all in my head. well it was quite real when he used to tell me i was going to die
not been asleep, it's killing me now he's going to be laughing at me even more....
xx
morning hunit baffles me wot is goin on, how hell can they believe evil manipultive abuser like tht, i really feel for u, she is 6 year old as well, im sorry hun, its not fair is it, its not in ur head hun, xx
my heart goes out to you honey I'm here to hold your hand
please don't go through this alone
who do you have for support? any family or friends xx
hugs
and forgot to say ... Who gives a stuff what he thinks anyway consentrate on you and what's needed ... No waisted thoughts.
hi hun how are u, ope ur okxx
Hi thanks for support, been to see my freind who is very helpfull and feel bit better, still very upset though it feels like i'm slowly losing her
just have to keep strong. Like my freind said look at all the positives, at least she not in care, i need more time and she could change her mind and want to come home with me, if she gets fed up with having everything she wants. also telling court i want his girlfreind and his x with kids investigated. And i recommend my relative to care for her should he go into hospital as she has known my family all her life.
it's not over yet
abt
xxx
good for u hun, it isnt over yet, ur er mum, u b strongxx
Well done honey your sounding positive and that will help you keep it up your doing all good x
hi angry i have been reading through your thread to and find your story so heatbreaking and frightning, i to am going through court over my lil one and could see my ex trying somehting like this in the furture if he gets contact , we may bith have to have a sicological assesment also , you must be strong cos if i had my lil one taken from me i dont think id be able to go on. i really really hope it all works out for you its so sad x
Hello anonymousmum,
Keep us informed on how things go for you when you get to court - and indeed how you're feeling as the date approaches. I hope things don't become as complicated and frightening you fear they might.
abt you are right - it's not over yet. Keep hold of that thought.
M x
Hi
Thanks, I am strong but it's killing me, i do literly spend each day crying. and all he is doing is taking her away from me, i can't beleive how cruel he is. and the fact that he knows he wont live that long so when he goes to hospital he wants her to be given to his sister or girlfreind. If the court even considers that i will get p***d off and tell then a few home truths. Thats the other aspect when i go to court i can't just reply to all the false allegations, i can't explain why i think he is doing it and theres no evidence and even the psycologist has based her oppinion on false allegations and what our girl says (don't think she realised she could be manipulated) people keeping saying the truth will come out and he can't keep getting away with it. i want to feel positive but so far he does get away with it. even the saying you can fool some people some of the time but you cant fool all of the people all of the time ..well in this case i think their wrong because he has fooled all of the people all of the time. meanwhile my girls with him so she will be getting settled thats what the social will say i know it, plus if the phycologist recommends i go on a self confidence and parenting course then how can i complete those in time for september which is supposed to be the final hearing, they are supposed to reccommend who she lives with but shes has already been given to him and whats the point of me having a parenting classes when they will say she can stay with him, and it wont be over as i have the right to contest and also i will be going back to court to get her back as soon as i done the course but that when social just keep changing because thats what they are like. you do everything they want and they just find something else they can say because they probably want to place her in care and get the £25,000 they get for each child they do.. they dont care its all about money at the end of the day, they have caused a lot of emotional abuse one of the things they say she on protection for. they just do gooder liar hypicrits
the reason i am having a hard time is i'm up against the court system that doesnt reconigise emotional abusive men and think they can still be parents and it don't effect the child (mad! we know he is currently bribing her, cause she says she wants to stay with daddy cause he's buying her everything she wants and taking her out) Then at the same time i'm up against my x and i'm up against the social services so what p**ing chance have i got?
very tired
Thanks for your support
ABT xxx
hi hun aw i do no how u feel, takes p*** dun it, how can ur ex av ur child livin with him when hes like tht, dont underrstand it, like my ex is violent criminal thug, he ad his house raided twice last nov ,why dont they say no bloody contact eh, why drag it out, why even giv him another chance avin hair strand test, usein my bloody legal aid, disgustin, im glad he tested positive for canabis, gud result for me, when are u next in courtx