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I hope things went ok, and there was an adjournment
Hip Hip hhhraaahh!! i finally got it in my thick head i need to stand up for myself, which i did at court, yes it's adjourned. Now instead of them all ganging up on me there bending over backwards to help and even offered me any missing paperwork
Yes yes yes the tables are now turning
i do see her on her birthday for an hour after school but just releived i get time to sort out solicitor have to get saving fast.
love my baby girl shes so clever and beautifull she looks just like me when i was that age
thanks 4 ur support everyone
abt xx
hi hun aw im really pleased for u, well done, u brave woman,u go for it, xx
Thanks Kiera
Whats happening in your life? are you good, well when this is all over we will be experts in family law lol we can give good advice to others
hope you are happy and having a good time and your x suffering
Abt xx
well he didnt get wot he wanted in court did he,ive heard nothin from my solciter bout indirect contact thru a 3rd party, heard nothin, he didnt get acces and thts gud enuf for me, judges well ad ago at him and tht felt good,hax
Oh WELL DONE abt, that must have felt fab, taking control like that. High five you and a big step along the way now 
Well done abt, good for you 
Hi, well that just goes to show you he don't care about her if he did he would take any kind of contact he could. That's sad but well you both better off with him away, can't beleive these men
Glad you still on here
ABT XX
Another poem:
Think your clever think your smart you
nothing but a sociopathic fool
I thought I met someone special when I met you
and you promised the earth boy you got a nerve
little by little the truth shone through
hurt me in every way possible are you proud of what you do?
As you heard my cries you broke me down with your lies
as you belittled me and was so fickle with me
I walked on eggshells because of you
as you told me I would die
even though you heard me scream
you haounted me in my dream
you have no morals
you have no heart
even though you tore me apart
your sicker than sick you twisted git
I hope you rot in your own hell
cause I don't care you might as well
your nothing but an evil tw*t
you dirty old fat rat
as you held your hands round my throat and spit with your gloat
I run and grabbed my coat
I hate you more than ever and i'm the one that's actually clever
your time will come and I'll watch you fall
in that large hole what you have dug
I can't wait until you have lost you idiotic sad thug
hi hun what a fantastic poem, so so true hunxx
thanks, i'm really getting into these poems it's me expressing my feelings
well if it helps u hun u go for it hun, xx
It's a good way to express your feelings, abt.
Still having a hard time court was ajourned til dec, i saw a solicitor he said i only have 20% chance and it cost £4,000 if i want him to represent me, said i'd have to pay the pyscologist as well that god knows how much, can't do it i don't have no money, i'm contacting a mckenzie freind again a bloke i've seen his reviews he sounds good, the whole case is not fair it's against my human and legal rights it's not a fair hearing and i shouldn't be the one with supervised contact, i wanted to do a fact finding hearing but they not going to allow it are they as the judge is pressing to get this final hearing sorted, but i wanted to state about the abuse and strangling death threats and continous abuse he doing by manipulating child and had more, the other night at midnight i had a stranger a bloke pear through my windows and when i went to the door he asked if i was open? and where are the girls? i cottoned on he obvoisley been told i run a brothel. my x has done similar last year told police and they raided my house in my cupboards and they said he'd alleged i was running the place as a 'B' bloody B**** i know this is 1, humiliate and belittle me, harrassment and to frighten me. i gor police report and got on cctv
could i ask for a fact finding hearing or could i just list all these allegations report ect in scott schedule?
solicitor said the final book for half a day suggests they have already made up their minds and shes residing with him, and it's against my human rights, i don't want to delay the case i don't want my girl to suffer any longer, but at same time i don't want her allientated and poisoned and lose my relationship with her, it's at present i'm crying every day twice a day, this situation is beyond complex, were in limbo with our lives and hes allowed to carry on tearing our hearts out.
i think the solicitor just wants money and made excuses cause he dont want to take case on too much work, didn't like his negative attitude, he didn't want to see any of my paperwork and evidence he just wanted to see pyscologist report and social and then agreed with then saying were both hostile and not thinking of child, i know thats not true and i'm sticking to my guns or if i agreed like they all want me to then i look bad and thats only what it looks like on the surface they just need to look a little deeper just cause they don't reconise allienation and emotional abuse it's bloody stupid.
i'm not one to conform and social want me to give up, admit to stuff thats not the truth well i'm not
please please let me have someone on my side for god's sake i don't know how much more i can actually take
Hello abt, it does sound as if the solicitor is not seeing things from your point of view. Good luck with the macenzie friend.
How about contacting our legal expert (click) to ask about whether you are able to have a fact finding hearing?
Whilst I totally sympathise with you and this awful situation and cannot imagine the extent of your heartbreak, the judge etc will not be interested in your feelings or the effect this nightmare has had on you (except whether the effect has been to make you incapcable of caring for your daughter, ironically!!) so do make sure that ALL your dealings with the officials concentrate on your daughter's feelings and the human right she has to have a close relationship with her mum (rather than your own rights) do you see what I mean? not that I am saying your feelings do not matter, just that the LAW will not take those into account.
Hi everyone. I am so tired of all this and don't know how to end this nightmare, the social have lied on their reports and now say i have to contnue to have supervised contact because i'm emotionally abusive. meanwhile my mcenzie freind says i should concentrate on contact and it's supposed to be a final hearing, i don't want or see why i should admit to stuff i haven't done and be greatfull for a contact order that would just continue with me having no rights. was advised i have to play the courts game, well sorry but no, it's against my daughters and my human and legal rights and x is committing purgery, he says he stated on his will he dont want me to have any rights should he go into hospital and don't forget he's told our daughter she is not allowed to see any of her family on myside. i'm trying to get legal aid if i can get my x counceller to sign a form, my life is in limbo until dec meaning it going to be another s**t xmas, i'm broke, emotionally drained. social dont make any sense they say i need self esteme and councelling because i've lot my daughter then they say because i cried in contact 2 months ago i'm emotionally abusing. they till haven't investigated him at all and he's still making false allegations. the social and phycologist don't beleive he lies or manipulates, everyone is against me and mc enzie freind even believes them and says i need councelling for anxiety to show the courts i understand that but the same time i need to prove these lies against me and thats the reason she's taken from me and if there is no time as the hearing as already been booked for half a day then tough they will have to book more time
abt Really fedup with this c**p
xxx love to all
I'm sorry that you are going through such an awful time abt, have you contacted the Family Rights Group to see if they can suggest something? Are you going to do the suggested counselling?
Hi ABT,
So sorry to see what is going on in your life, if you would like to understand the mindset and the why of your ex and also the mindset of Court and professional people, I suggest the books of Lundy Bancroft "Why does he do that" is a simple title but tells you so much about him and the Court system we have to work with.
I am going through Court right now and have been assessed by a psychologist and her report had more than 15 pages of factual errors in them. I have had myself assessed by a psychiatrist, I was advised against it by my solicitor as "what if he finds you with a mental illness then you are stuck with it" but in my case that was the best move I could have done, it helped my case enormously to present his findings right next to the psychologists assessment. If possible bring someone with you during the assessment of a court appointed psychologist so then there is a witness of what has been said.
Unfortunately, once a case goes into a certain direction, everyone on both sides then seem to push further into that direction as solicitors get paid no matter in which direction it goes. And they do not inform you about it.
I have changed solicitors because I felt she was more helping the judge move the case forward rather than what was in the best interest of my children.
Then I found, that the next solicitor, very easy to talk to at first and understanding, once they read through the papers, having exactly the same stance.
It takes courage and strenght to turn the wheels slowly and a lot of determination, but first you need to understand where they are coming from and how the system works. Then maybe you can use this to help your case. I wish you so much courage and strength...
Dear christmas2012
Thanks for advice, i am getting 30 minutes free advice from a solicitor, cause i can't afford one although i have a mcenzie freind, i think i will do my own statement and list of events to try and show his behaviour and just get the mc kenzie freind to go over it with a professional eye and support me when at court, meanwhile i'm working on changing things in social and guardians report, get more time with my girl, seeing a doctor see if i can have some councelling be good to show plus maybe be refered to pyschologist so i can show i haven't got a problem (Yes worry it could backfire though) it's a wander i have any sanity left!! lol ..... may get private investigater as social dont do and havent done their job properly. i am stronger and i do have lots of determination i will never give up on my child and i'm not addmitting to things i haven't done, i understand i need to play by the rules to a degree but they need to know that his lies about me and abuse is detrimential to our daughter
thanks for support
xxx
abt
Dear ABT,
So good the way you are aproaching this ABT, fantastic ! You sound so strong and yes, you are the sane one !!! Hope December will get better for you and good thinking about the investigator,
xxx
Christmas
We are all rooting for you, ABT!!!
Thanks everyone, this site is so good it's great having the support and advise and like having a bunch of mates
xxx
Hope we all get justice, I has made me feel as though i'm selfish as others are having a hard time as well, think we should all get together and fight for changes in the family law and social services and more power from abuse
I agree ABT, it is great having the support and advice here like mates as people that don't go through this don't understand what we are actually going through.
You are not selfish, you are honest in expressing what we women are going through after finally having the courage to leave a terrible situation and by expressing it, helping all of us. It gives other women in this situation the courage to keep fighting, and observing the result of it. It does give hope for justice
That's right, we know from our statistics that many more people read the boards than actually post so what we discuss and campaign for will affect many more people than the visible ones....
hi angry how are u, ive bin off ere cos ad no internet, sorry to hear wots appenin, so unfair, not right is it at all,b strong hun, keep goin, i do feel for u i really do, x
hi kiera
Had internet problems as well, been busy but everywhere i went seemed to come up against a brick wall. however today came accross a solicitor thats very reasonable costs and he sounds really fantastic he says he's going to unpick this case and dispute and also book a longer hearing with a higher judge, he's going to check through what ss have put and if they have done their job properly! (think he will find lots of faults, ha ha) he sounds very thorough and he said if we don't win we go to higher court to appeal, i feel excited, at firsti burst into tears then was jumping up for joy, hoorah i think i got someone on my side i feel great, all the others have no backbone and they just wanted to go along with the game of the family courts and i'm not prepared to admit to stuff i haven't done as i told my x 2 years ago i will fight to the death cause shes my baby girl and i love her so much, if he was a loving care father he would have been happy with our shared residence but he only wants to take her away from her own mummy, how evil can one person be? i have literally spent each and everyday crying for my baby and i'm sure shes crying for me but she don't dare show her feelings in front of him
carry on wishing me luck, take care and thanks to everyone on here, love to you all
xxx
abt
What a fantastic ray of hope for you, ABT!! You have battled so long and hard that it must feel great to have someone on your side. Fingers crossed now
Wishing you so much luck ABT, finally you found someone who will stand up for you and your child, I am so happy for you that your solicitor feels he can help you through it as you need good support in there. This is so great !
Fantastic news, well done!! Love
xxx
hi hun aw tht is great news, im so happy for u, finaly u av decent soliciter, u fight girl and get ur baby girl back, he isnt lovein father tho hes a evil abusive bully, ive sultbin thru courts and i did get the result i wanted, i was lucky, i hope u get the result u want hun, im sure u willxx
Great news abt about the solicitor, your persistence will hopefully pay off.
poem: Hello my x
Hello my x
i wander who's next?
I know your game
it's just a shame
why don't you stop your denial
and finish your lies too
that's the best thing to do
Stupid idiotic fool
Your so pathetic
it's almost tragic
you think your clever
you think your smart
but winning you'l never
That nasty grin on your fat chin
will soon be wiped off
so now you can just f**k off
Tell me now how deep is your hole
jump in it and see
their all out there laughing
cause your so crual
well now i know how to handle you
i am nice and new and happy too!
Well said, ABT!
Hi i have run out of tears, i tried to get legal help can't even get citizens advice and just been ripped off by a bogus solicitor. I have had to close my business,nearly lost my home, broke and tired and social have said i'm lucky he's allowed me to have contact for 1.5 hours 23rd supervised by my x. so whats the point of court anyway if they have given him total control.supposed to be final hearing 20th dec. i asked for my records from social under data protection and they are not given them and i need them for proof and to refer to from mystatement. i have to represent myself. tell you why do they all support abusive men and allow him total control? i am writing a statement and i dont care how it is supposed to be i'm going to write everything down and i been told theres only a handfull of solicitors that will contest ss well i'm not scared of them i will stand up to all and when this is over i will expose what they do everywhere because i went to them for help and instead they gave my precious daughter to a sociopath and prevented me from protecting her, i hate them and they shouldnt be able to get away with it
hi hun so there is final hearin 20th dec, u do what u can hun, u av to, how can they giv ur dawter to mental case, byond belief hun, x
Hello ABT I am so sorry to hear that things have been such a struggle for you, well that is an understatement. Citizens' Advice bureau will help everyone but they do not have the specialist legal help that you were asking for. Can you get a Mackenzie friend? If you wish to make a complaint about the solicitor, you can do so via the Legal Ombudsman
You have the final hearing on 20th and it sounds as if you are saying you have a Christmas visit on 23rd with your daughter.
Are you in touch with the Family Rights Group at the moment?
Loads of virtual hugs.
What a terrible thing you have to go through ABT, there are no
words for it, I so feel for you
ABT how did your hearing go ? I have been thinking about you and so hoped for you but the system is so difficult to cope with. Hugs for you ABT
xx
Hi, Didn't go entirely good, Judge told him off for saying stuff to our girl and made him promise to stop, then he said shes settled with him and because ss and pychologist recommended he gave him residence. and because i have to be supervised, It did shake ss up a bit though they realise now they can't get away with everything all the time and if he says anything to her i will have more evidence.
i told the judge i will still try to get a solicitor, so he knows i'm going to appeal.
he said we got come back about contact and i'm to have more time supervised by his freinds, well i'm not having them do it because they already lie for him. the social still say its down to x who does what
see how they are currupt, they were trying to work with him and reduce my contact untill i only have 1 a year, that's what they done to others cause they write lies on their reports, and say sh** about why i should have time reduced then they send child to foster and adoption and its his freinds that they want to give her to
At least i know exactly whats going on and have all the paperwork i just need a solicitor to sort it out and if they don't do exactly what i want i find another
it's made me even stronger they think i would give up, never never and when i do get her back i will expose them accross the web, they said i wouldnt appeal if i were you cause you wont win cause you got all us professionals against you!
***cing B******ds
going to london after christmas, all i will tell you they wont know whats hit them!
by the way to show how caniving they are they waited until i gave my statement which was 2 days ago cause i had to spend 5 hours doing it, and told me he wouldn't be giving another, then they gave his one yesterday and didnt get guardians one until i got to court, well when i appeal i need to do a hearing of facts
It does sound as if you have a lot more info now ABT, good luck with it all. What are you doing over Christmas? I am thinking you are seeing your daughter on Monday, is it?
yes im seeing her monday. why did he grin before we went in? because he knew hes won everythings going how he wanted. but i know the truth i rrally hope i can get a good barrister. he doesnt want her to have councelling but if she did she might tell more about what hes been telling her?
Hiya hun.
Seems like you got SS sussed.
Have you heard of that horror story of essex social services and what they did to this italian mum?
You need to maybe make a graph.
Like sometimes saying what has happened to you has no effect sometimes you need to show dates times and how the ss acted against you in a graph to show a pattern of behaviour then you need to write a most amazing statement of all this info to try and get a free solicitor
Because there is a solicitor in birmingham that does free work and is on the case of the italian mum.
http://www.brendanfleming.co.uk/
You might want to try it it.
But make sure you present your case effectively and make sure you show they are trying to give your child away. Perhaps get the media involved you need evidence.
Hi
i will contact them definely.and i had asked social for all the reports and telephone logs ect everything under the data protection act but they haven't sent them and i need to contact the obodmens company to get it, they said it takes months though. it's really hard but i will keep trying and social been on the local kent news for being the worse in england. i did right a good statement but the judge but i needed a solicitor and show evidence, and he didn't even see the parenting report which was very positive she said i am a capable mother and couldn't see any problems and recommended i have more contact outside the centre
i'd feel a lot stronger have some back up as well. thanks so much they sound better solicitors than the barristors in london as they know what ss are doing, but i need to explain that not only do i have a sociopath against me but also the ss and they have allowed him total control. when i go to the contact centre to see her they told him he has to protect her from me!! i feel like a criminal and he makes me feel like i'm a nobody
xx
Hi ABT
So sorry to hear how it is going with you, you will have to fight so hard as it will always be 2 against 1 in Court and Court will listen to recommendations made by SS or Cafcass. You can't get the media involved as then you are in contempt of Court and can be imprisoned.
You can only talk about your case to seek advice, you are doing so well to fight this, for yourself as well as for other women in your situation, you should be so proud of yourself but yes, they will make you feel that way as they want you to give up.
yes i won't do the media thing but try gather evidence from anywhere else. i need to get to her to have some councilling and i have asked bredemhemming as advised by shockedmum. thats yes think i am proud and yes they all expected me to give up, well lol that won't happen they don't know me at all, l love my daughter and would never ever give up
ABT I agree that they are trying to get you to give up. I am glad you are pursuing this, I would kepp fighting it on and on myself.
Yes keep fighting ABT we will support you xx
God willing I'll be back, you'll be fine abts xx