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Gosh they did that to me, guardians statements coming out in Court whilst long overdue I could never understand why this was acceptable because we all have deadlines we have to meet and yet those very important reports we get whilst in Court to me they actually said: I had my report ready but my line manager had not yet approved it. And reading their report in Court gives you no time to prepare a response properly
Have a great Christmas ABT and good luck in London!
xx
hi hun god u av bin thru so much, really ope u get ur dawter, ur strong hun, happy exmas to u to xxx
hi kiera
I do seem to be having a hard time, nothing is going right, i think i got to look at things differently, sort my life out after christmas, find the right solicitor and be wiser
feel like i fell down a well and it's too slipery to get out! lol
i'm still ok just stronger and even more determined
Thanks for your support to all on here, wishing you all merry christmas and a great new year
xxx
abt
I just wanted to give you my best wishes for the festive season, abt. It's a while since I was on the boards & I'm sorry to hear that your ex & the court system are still proving such a minefield.
Have a lovely, relaxing Christmas & gather your strength for the New Year. Us One Spacers are all behind you.
M x
It is so very hard to find the right solicitor especially when you have a difficult case. They also don't always want to tell you what is going on.
My solicitor seemed to just help the judge move the case forward rather than helping my case and I then changed solicitor. This change for a moment seemed better but then again they seemed to be working for him rather than for me.
I then went online, after this letter of instructions my solicitor made for the visiting centre was so appallingly subjective, distorting the findings and blaming me for it all and then instructing them to assess me and the children with these instructions, I was shocked. What kind of an assessment was it then going to be? This was creating evidence against me. When I wrote them how shocked I was that my own solicitor sent this letter of instructions, they did not respond and did not reply to my phone calls.
I then contacted the legal ombudsman. I found them online and phoned them, not to bother them yet with details, but asking them what the procedure was.
The man was very kind and told me they would send me a template of a complaints letter and asked if they could help me by contacting the solicitors firm, as it will take 8 weeks for them before they will handle a complaint, to which I said yes.
All of a sudden I did get a reply from my solicitor, telling me that the letter of instruction had to be passed by the other sides solicitors first and that the first draft had been very different but was not acceptable to both other parties. That unfortunately the judge persevered in his beliefs and we had to work with this. That now my case was going to be handled by one of the partners of the firm.
Sometimes a firm has only one or 2 good solicitors and how do you know beforehand which is a good one? I am glad I have asked the help of the legal ombudsman as at least I now will have a better chance, and will follow the parenting group for teenagers and will ask help for my children, to show I am a good mother.
Maybe then, there is some lenience towards me
I wish you well with finding a new solicitor, a merry merry Christmas and happy New Year,
xx
soli have found when ive approach solicitors they dont want to go against ss and they liase with the other party to please the judge. i think if family cases moved into a civil court justice would be done. ss wouldnt be able to lie give oppinions. there would be real evidence. lets face it the family courts are not working well for us but it works for solicitors who drag it out for money and ss for money its all currupt and its not in the childs interest they make me feel angry. i really the one in bermingham can help becauae i havent got any money left. and im looking for ones that have experience in parential allienation. i have nightmare last night. so worried about future and after christmas they better let me have more contact outside the centre like they said missing my baby xx
I really hope it works out for you with this one in Birmingham. I agree it is all corrupt as it can be kept secret in Court "for the sake of privacy of the child" and they do lie and distort evidence.
Then they create new evidence with "profesional assessments", already making the views of these professionals subjective by the letters of instructions they get. It is the worst nighmare a parent can encounter.
It does not matter to solicitors to win or lose as they get paid either way. They do not look at all at the best interests of the child, they force the children into what SS or the judge wants for them and they make sure the children's rights are taken from them.
It must be such hell to have your child taken and live with the very person that hurts them.
please let us know how you are doing with this solicitor from Birmingham,
xx
This is how nasty they are and how they really take the p***, i was told that i would see her this morning supervised by x at contact centre, at court it was agreed that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to be supervised by x because of my feeling against him and the women at the centre knows this as i told her i'm not prepared to be by a man that has said many lies about me and is the reason why i'm being supervise in the first place. So when i arrived this morning, our little girl said ''daddy's coming in the room with us'' so i couldn't say anything or it would upset her. i however took no notice as i wanted to enjoy the time with her and we did but feel angry about it and i will tell them i'm not putting up with it again. Why are they letting him treat me like it? there as evil as he is
abt
It does seem very one sided from what I have read of your posts, idt - but I am not a legal expert.
I'm not surprised you felt angry today, but well done for holding your feelings in for your little girl and doing your best to enjoy the time you had together.
You have done so well ABT as if you react to it, they would report against you, you are so incredibly strong.
x
hi thanks skyflower & mary. Yes thats what they want and it's proof that they are bias and working with him. I can't understand how people can do that and they are supposed to be caring for our child. they all sick and need shooting
o well i carry on being strong and they will be sorry they met me and so will he
merry christmas! love to you all xxx
Wishing you all the best for Christmas and the new year, ABT, stay strong.
what social have done is horrendas they have wrecked my family and because of what? im not going to let them get away with it they are sick twisted *astards and i cry everyday and every night for my baby
hi hun aw god when wil it end for u hun,i really feel for u, dont giv up xx
On reading your last post ABT, it sounds as though you are ready for the fight. I wish you all the luck (and energy) for it in the world.
Keep posting & let us know how you're doing.
M x
The solicitors in birmingham won't help and he said i won't get anywhere angry. well sorry but if it happened to him he'd feel bloody angry and i dont show then that. see i noone will listen, before i say all what has happened they form an appinion without hearing all the details. noone understands, i know whats happening and because its difficult to prove they won't do what i won't them to. i want justice and my girl back i don't want parttime relationship with her drifting further, i even running out of word to say to her, maybe i will agree with him supervising and record it so i can get evidence? i don't know anymore and i have a pile of paperwork that reaches the ceiling very tired just looking at it. think what i need to do is point out the most important points then answers to all the allegations and all the positives showing i am a good parent
think i may be losing my sanity as this is on my mind 24/7
I think you sound very together, considering what you have been through and all that continue to goes on for you ABT.
I'm sorry that the solicitor in Birmingham has declined to take your case on & you're right, given a week or so in your shoes, anyone would feel angry.
Reading your post above, you know what needs to be done - '(I) think what i need to do is point out the most important points then answers to all the allegations and all the positives showing i am a good parent'. You are a wise woman, ABT - use that anger in a focused way and I am sure you will be heard.
I hope you feel able to give yourself New Year's Eve and New Year's Day off.
I'm not surprised it's continually on your mind.
People just don't get it until they have a taste of walking in someone's shoes.
How are you now ABT have you found help for your situation ? It seems a long time since you posted
Hi,
Sorry i hadn't been on here for a while been a bit down, still same as it was when i started this battle 2 years ago! still angry bitter fedup frustrated, emotional, tired, determined, humiliated, sad, upset etc etc.......
never mind the show must go on. Tommorrow i am contacting my old solicitor to refer me to the barristors in london that are free. i'm speaking to the domestic violence team and see if they can actually help me by speaking and being involved with social services. i am see social in the next few days one of their meetings, which i'm going to record so they can't go back on their words, i'm collecting contact notes tommorrow so i will go through each one to find what he has been telling our daugher which is proof of his behaviour.
saw social worker today but everytime i see him i end up shouting at him because he just says i'm fighting with x and need to think of my daughter. they are like a record got stuck they just think in black and white why can't they see in 3D bloody ridiculas
need to have a meeting i dont know when about contact outside centre but need supervised well i'm not being supervised by his drinking pals in fact i don't know if i can't hold myself back as if i come face to face with them i feel i can't control my actions apart from humilated they have already lied for x and in past had kept girl saying they hadn't seen him. plus they only with x cause he buy them drink and they spend all day in the pub whilst their girls are fedup, plus when i left x told them to take our stuff to the tip and so they did which included her story talking nighttime teddy
i really hope the barrister understands and represents me and has a bit of backbone because i haven't found a solicitor like it yet, everyone frightened of social well i am NOT they just get on my pi**ing nerves
Morning abt it is understandable that your so angry, frustrated etc, but if you want to get your daughter back then you will have to try to keep your cool, everytime you get into an arguement with your ex and SW then that will all go against you. I know that you just want your little girl back and feel that they are all telling lies, but at this stage and this will sound unfair, you have to do what they are asking of you however unjustified that may seem to you.
I hope your able to get the barrister on board to help you fight this and that the domestic abuse team are able to help aswell.
Hi ABT so nice to see you back,
Unfortunately I have seen myself ABT, that nobody wants to look at what has happened and want only to push forward to both parents needing contact with the child.
SW really just wants contact for both parents as that is the best interest of the child no matter what that parent has done and if they see one parent obstructing it for whatever reason, they will just not grant that parent until SW see that parent has become "reasonable" and if the other parent has misused substances they want to help that parent with that and still want the child to have contact.
Sally is very right though how the only way forward in getting more contact for your child as to look reasonable in the eyes of SW which is so hard for you as you are fighting for justice, or you want people to see how bad he has been behaving and that he is not safe, that he is manipulating etc but they are not going to look at that as that is not the way forward for them.
I feel for you and hope you will get more contact and get your child back to live with you xx
How did it go with your Solicitors in London ABT are they able to help you ?
I so hope they can
Dear all,
Feel positive happier and making progress, i can understand people telling me i need to work with the social because of their power, but it's not working i have tried that for 2 years, i have someone on my side now from the domestic abuse team and i have a barristor or mckenzie freind. i have made improvements in my life, done parenting, freedom program, councelling, life coaching and doing my IT Training, sorted my fianances out, closed my business and looking to move home shortly. getting work and saving. social have been working with my x and what they have done is victimise me and helping him continue his abuse well not anymore! i'm going to wipe that sadistic grin off his stupid face, i am no longer a victim, i'm me a strong determined intellegent person and they will be very sorry for judging me. i'm not going to let them get away with it, soon as i get my girl back i'm exposing them to the world and i will sue them for the damage they done. as for him he should be locked up as a sociopath shouldn't be allowed to travel around detroying people he will suffer as he is glaoting whilst he thinks everythings how he wants he has total control well thats coming to an end shortly and he will be sorry he picked on the wrong person.
i hun u ok, well u sound positive, thts gud, u get ur girl bk hun, xx
It's great to hear that you are moving things forward ABT and feel you have some people on your side. You report making big changes and doing various courses, which will demonstrate how sincere you are. I understand your wish to take legal action once it is all over and I would feel the same but please don't spoil the benefits to you of the final outcome by doing this. Good luck as you continue your battle, what's the next stage?
Yes ABT so glad you feel so much stronger and better in yourself. I really hope you get your girl back, they never should have taken her from you. Don't expose them ABT because it will backfire they all protect each other. xx
ABT we haven't heard from you like it seems since a long time...how is it now with you ? What is happening with your daughter and did you manage with the McKenzie friend and barrister ? How are you feeling? xx
Hi Skyflower, All,
Still bad but getting somewhere slowly, since last on, Have a domestic abuse wellfare officer thats helping me she's laising with ss, i should get a barristor as the bar council are looking for one for me so keep your fingers crossed please and your toes, arms, hair ect lol .. everything really... He's stopped me having more time with her and has now suddenly demanded her passport and bank account without any notice (suspicous) especially as ss say if we can't get on they want to apply for a care order. and before he gained custody he threatened me saying when he gets her he will give her to his sister in france and i wont see her again! so what are his plans? so far his plans have gone his way and if he wanted to take her on holiday why didn't he just tell me that, and shes back at school shortly anyway, maybe i am paranoid? no that's his gas lighting!!! found out that an emotionally abusive technique and he defentaly used to do that and i have text message last week when he text me saying i'm crazy and everyone knows i am.. how about everything he blames me about is him. he called me a prostitute and yet he's the one that goes with them. he's the one that's crazy, lonely sad, ugly, fat, whore etc ect... sorry ranting on again.. if i am crazy it's cause he's making me like it, can't wait to have barristor
love to all
xxxx
Hi ABT, glad to hear that things are slowly moving along now, not glad to hear about how your ex is behaving but your right i have often heard others say that they are called things by there abuser that is actually true about themselves, i think it is called "self projecting".
Have everything crossed for you, hope they find you a barristor soon.
Hi ABT, glad to hear from you and so good to hear you finally have some help in place. yes Sally is right they blame the other person for exactly the things they are doing themselves. I so hope you will slowly get your daughter back
I will keep my fingers crossed for you xx
Poem
I now wander in fear as i am really missing my dear my darling Girl
How can this be that they blame ME when it's so easy to see
It's Him NOT me
What have i done fot this to be so wrong? and for so long...
The've torn us apart and think their so smart
Now you have your control and taking her from me
will they ever see the truth and set us free?
to live our lives how it's mean't to be
There is no justice it's true and it's making me blue
i really don't know what to do
It's all corrupt and not upto much
In the best interest of the child' they say
when they take that away what a mistake
purgery and slander
human rights and glander
parential allienation
naccistic congregation
sociopathic nation
secret lies open to negotiation
instead of common law, wheres the common sense?
no just Nonsence!
Wow it looks like you got a lot out in your poem abt. Did it make you feel any better?
Every now and then i like to write it down, yes makes me feel better. Does anyone know if he could get a copy of a childs passport? i have her passport and i'm not giving it. unless he gets a fake one because he had one for himself? and also what if he don't turn up to the court which is about contact?
Hi abt, I don't think he is able to obtain another passport unless he says it is lost, however I am not 100% sure. Contact our Legal Expert who will be able to answer this question, let us know what he says 
No he cannot get a copy ABT, unless he claims it is lost and will have to go to the police and report it. With this report he could apply for another passport.
However he can ask for her passport to be taken from you and kept by your solicitor, so you can't use it either
Hi am i wrong?
this is what happened today, i went to ring her mobile tonight as usual except he said she didn't want to talk, so i said i don't beleive you and he told her to put her hands over her eyes and tell mum she don't want to talk, she quietly said she don't want to talk and then he asked why i haven't given him her passport. then he said that i should do this to her and i hung up. she is always happy to talk to me and everytime i normally ask her if it is ok or shall i call tommorrow? and it is because i haven't given the passport that he's angry.
Now i am worried what is he saying to her now? and is he going on at her, i know he will tell the social i upset her on the phone and they will listen to him again
the have said before it's normal for a child to not want to talk on the phone they dont like it
am i wrong in keeping the passport and should i not ring her? see how he is gradually eliminating me from her life and she never calls me mummy anymore
i'm going to speak to the domestic abuse women in the morning but i'm still worried about her
It sounds like you've had an awful time ABT. One day , you can get things put right and get your daughter back with you, where she belongs.
Personally, I would hang on to the passport as you have rights and if you are concerned.
How upsetting that must of been for you abt, do speak to the Domestic Abuse people today and let us know what they recommend.
Big HUG.
Big hug to you ABT, you should really record these conversations and let others know as he is doing emotional abuse xx
Hi Kiera
How are you doing? any progress, a lot has happened i got a really good barristor and she has helped a lot, but i still having supervised contact and he has made loads more allegations and stopped my contact, anyway court ajourned for yet anothe month so fed up with it and fedup to the back teeth of social and guardian they contradict everything they say. never mind must carry on, what's been happening with you?
xx
hi, remember me? sorry it's been a while. i got a good barristor now from london and she's had a go at the judge, lol told him 'so your honour your abanding this child?'' and don't suppose you have even bothered looking at our paperwork'' well i can take to another judge or court'' anyway my next hearing is final and 18th july. cross you fingers for me, i'm really tired of this and have been supervised for over a year!! it's beyond a joke even the judge said it's got ridiculas and this child is now being abused my this system, anyway i been getting lot help from cassnadra from facebook page and learn't a lot about the system
He has even stooped so low as to bring my past up on his statement saying my sexual abuser is living with my mum!! bloody ba****d trying to stop contact with my mum and hulilliating me in court.n
anyway i hope your doing well and looking farward to hearing from you
regards
abt
Hi abt
It is good to hear from you , glad you have found a good barristor to help, sounds like they are tackling the judges about their decisions! will have my fingers crossed for you on the 18th, i hope contact is resumed soon.
What a wonderful news!!! Finally things are turning around for you, I will keep my fingers crossed for you on the 18th.
Good luck for the 18th ABT, excellent news about the barrister, it must have been good for once to see a judge being put on the spot!
Hi abt, its the 18th and I believe today is the day of your Final Court hearing.
The One Space team wishes you the best of luck, we are thinking of you. Be brave, be strong, big hugs
ABT we are all here supporting you !!! fingers crossed xxx
Hi ABT how are you ? How did the final hearing go? how did your barrister do ? I know all sorts of lies come up about family, could you rectify it ? Big hug ABT x
Are they deluded? i still feel positive and at least i am learning what to do and i need a little time to sort my life out. i'm looking to move into a better flat, earn more money, improve my prospects etc
take care everyone and have a great xmas!
xx