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ABT how you doing today
stay strong
go along with what they want you to do x
Hi All,
I have come to the conclusion thats it is best to hang on until september court hearing. Then go there with evidence and my mc enzie freind and pray it all goes ok.
i spoke to the social worker who said that contact has been good and the report from phycologist is good and he's put me farward for a parenting classes in august and said when i then go to court in september i will be in a better position
i agree for once think he knows he hasn't done his job properly and is moving area, he also said he dont wont me supervised for long and has already told the women at the contact centre to stop writing everything down and allow me some quality time with her and build up some trust (because little one said she didn't want to come home in case i smack her) thats abvoisley what x has been drumming into her head) never the less i agreed to doing it and then he said they also want to remove her from the protection because i am not a danger!!! wow!! (do they know what humiliation and pain i have been through first with him and then with them?) and that when we go to court it would be very likely it will be shared residence. Thats good news but that is basically what it has been anyway and that don't stop him constantly harrassing and getting to me wheather its through police, social or even his own daughter so i am going to ask them stupid social what can i do when he reports me saying i've beaten her then? like he done in the beginning and it will be like a record got stuck will he do it again?
at the moment he will only let me speak to her for 2 minutes then he drags her away from the phone saying it's bathtime, dinner or bed.
reminds me of an occasion when i was with him and he said quickly get you and her ready he's taking us out and then he knocked on the door literaly 1 minute later and i nearly fell down the stairs as i knew he couldn't stop for long on the road
he's such a f**** b*******
so at end of day i feel bit better and can't wait till hearing but same time i know he wont ever ever stop his abuse and noone will help
bloody bloke he's a bloody nightmare also evil and crual
xxxx
hi hun how are u, yes they are evil and cruel well at laste it seems iike ur getin there,and shred residence sounds positive, u wil get there hun, i no it seems like it will never endxx
thanks kiera, how it's going with you? hope its going good, you have court in august what does your solicitor say? we shouldn't have to go through all this and it's not good on our health, it is a wander we haven't had a breakdown we must be very strong and these men under estimated us didn't they? !!! lol .. bloody idiots... they think we would just give up or something. with our children no way they are stupid!!
take care xx
Hi abt, it sounds as though you are feeling a bit more positive after speaking with the social worker. Great plan of action going and doing a parenting course, I love them, you can learn so much and it really helps!
You say that you are only allowed to speak to your daughter for 2 minutes, has there been a court ruling on how often and for how long you should have telephone contact?
Hiya abt, really thinking of you, You sound somewhat better then your first post here.
Going to those classes is a really good idea if only it is so that they can't say you haven't.
Stay strong xxx
hi hun how are ux yes court august 7th last hearing,yes they do underestimate us, my ex wud thouhgt he swan in court and cafacss wud do no checks at all, well they did, and it as backfired on him , and we must b strong yes,i strated cryin in last hearin in front of 3 judges,my solicter said bout effect this case is avin on me, anyway cafacss report is gud im happy with it, cafacss wants case closed, all gon against my ex cos he lied alway thru court, and failed 2 drug tests,burt worried rtht he wil blame me , and wot wil he do, cant see him leavin it, a piece paper wont stop him, x
Hi Kiera, Shockedmum,
Thanks, yes i do feel stronger and at times my heart is being ripped in half, today i spoke with my wanderfull baby girl tears in my eyes as i listened on the phone she asked ''mum are you my step mum? No i am your real mum darling, you haven't gor a step mum. She asked her dad 'do i have a step mum daddy? she replied back saying yes she has one and its c**** daddy's girlfreind
No i said loud as i know they have the phone on speaker and are listening ''i'm your real mum and you can't have any other, what is a step mum? she asked. I told her its a another mum for when you haven't got one and normally they have to sign a peice of paper saying they are and they look after you so it's for someone that hasn't got a mother, but you have i'm your mum
ohh ok yes i know your my mum i love you mummy kiss kiss kiss kiss
so the pair of them (him and girlfreind) are playing happy familys and we aint got to court yet, i'm going to wipe that bloody grin from their stupid faces when i get there. They are not going to take my baby away from me, do they think they can and i wont do anything? they are totally deluded
hope it happens to her and see how she would feel
How can people be so crual it's bad enough having her taken but to slowly try and exclude her from my life. she will realise how horrible they are and what lies he says and she will resent him sooner than he thinks!!
abt xx
I have wrote a poem for my little girl (i tried not really good at poems but here it is)
My darling daughter i feel as we aught-a
be together forever as my heart is torn apart
to lose you now in this would be a disgrace
to our own human race
if it were down to me i'd hug you all day and kiss
you all night my little miss flesh and blood
don't despair your angel is here we soon be together
don't be scared cause i'm coming for you darling quick i'm nearly there
i'd climb the mountain, i'd swim the ocean
and run around the world that's the notion
to hold you in my arms you are my world
can't you hear the alarms
they try as they might to take you from me but that aint happening
you wait and see
no matter what he tells you don't get it wrong
i love you my darling and thats our song
xxx
Good morning ABT, thank you for sharing your poem, it shows your desperation to have her back.
It sounds as though your little girl is trying to work out the dynamics of all the adults in her life. You felt cross when your daughters father said that she had a step mum, but if they stay together, that is what she would be. It doesn't take away you being your daughters mum, no-one can do that.
My friend has had 3 stepmums throughout her life, (and of course her own mum) she is still very close to two of them, it is like having another adult in your life that gives a damn!
Can you look at the situation like this? Your daughter needs to know from you that it is ok.
yes she does want to know whats happening but he has no right to say that to her we have court hearing in september thats when they will say who she will live with and i been told probably be shared residence also whats the point in me having parenting course if shes not going to be returned to me. also it is all wrong there is no proof of all the false allegations he has said about me and there is no reason why she should be away from me as i am not a violent person, i want justice at court and its not justice at the moment they have kept her away based on victisous lies in fact he should go to prison for purgery. can i ask it to be sent to the criminal court? then i would also get legal respresentation wouldn't i?
Hello abt, you can check any questions to do with the law with our own Legal Expert (click)
Thanks for the poem; sometimes it is easier to say things in a poem than in prose 
I agree it is wrong if he is telling her untrue things, but you need to be OK with your little girl about the stepmum thing, in my opinion, much as it rips your heart out, as she needs to know that she is not being a bad person in making a relationship with this woman, children see things in such different terms and she will be scared if she thinks the woman is "bad".
Let us know what the Legal Expert says.
Hi Louise
thanks for that but she actually likes her and she's not scared of her one bit, she wanted her to come back to him.
all i'm saying is i'm her real mum she's just his girlfreind and phycoligist even said it is not recommended that she parents our child and until september when we will find out whats bloody happening with our lives until then it's a rather aukward position and atthe moment she is prob thinking shes going to be living with him forever and i'm bad because thats what he's been telling her since she was 4
it's so annoying that he is allowed to do this and that was just another tactic he using to hurt me, and he's succeeding and is there anything i can actually do? haven't found an answer in 2 years! i will ring legal team and keep trying but its like hitting your head on a brick wall
abt xx
hi angry god id feel exactly same as u hun,u are er real mu and nothin wil ever change tht,hes playin games hun thts wot they do, dont let him suucceed, dont weaken,dont giv upx
Hi Kiera
did you read my poem above? yes i know that's what he is doing they are blood horried men playing games. Think the courts need to change cause they are allowing it. I will ring legal number tommorrow and see if i can have some advice. The other issue that's bothering me is when the physcoligist said i'm rejecting my girl? can't understand what she means how on earth am i? i love her with all my heart and will never give up.
take care
ABT Xxx
Keep going honey I love your poem it shows your strength
one day this will all be over ... For now keep on climbing your mountain im confident that one day you will get there x
its lovely poem hun, really ope everythin works out for u xxxx
Hello abt, I agree it will be confusing for your little girl not to know about the stepmum thing. I do admire that you are able to discuss these things with us. Yes it does seem puzzling about "rejecting" her when that is the very furthest thing from your mind. When you see her, I am sure that you tell her that you love her no matter what and that you always be there for her, and it is not a "choice" between parents, she can love you both.....she cannot be told that enough, that it is OK and right for her to love you both!
Do get in touch with the Legal Expert, you need to email rather than ring, see link above.
Hi,
well this is what happened i bought her a mobile and she was calling me, she spoke to her brother but x told her to end the call because he dont want her to have a relationship with my family. then how conveinient when i asked to speak on her phone her dad says ''go on tell her what happened'' she says it fell from the ballconi and broken.
so i asked for her to bring with her to contact. then i get text saying hes put in repair shop. then i text saying can bring sim card so i can use another phone he said ok. then today he said its in the shop, i said bring sim then, he said its in the phone, i said your liar, he said i'm f***ed up mad and then said how can i sleep knowing i'm a child abuser and to get to sleep as i mustn't be late for my supervised contact
Hello abt, I am not surprised you are furious...but he is playing you for all he can. He KNOWS what will make you angry and he KNOWS you cannot prove the phone is not in the repair shop (even though you know what you suspect!!)
Have you raised the topic of phone contact with the powers that be? It could be that you could get a set phone contact time every week...or are you doing this outside of the contact order (in which case he thinks he is on firm ground)?
What a cheeky little piece of poo.
How dare he, has the nerve.
he is deluded he actually believing his own lies now.
This reminds me of my ex so much.
He crosses one fantasy world and lies and spilled it into reality.
We all very well know the truth.
phycopath if may say so.
Phycopath narcisistic fool.
I admire you abt, honestly I do and I want you to know since he lost his control over you this is his last ditch attempt to weaken you and believe me this is the worst he can do.
manipulate and twist things.
When this is all over and believe me it will be.
Cut him out your life! completely.
For now stay strong girl.
You have shown AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZING STRENGTH with everything he threw at you.
And I repeat THIS is the worst he can do.
His day will soon come my girl.
His DAY WILL COME!
untill then this is the worst he can do.
So keep that fighting spirit that amazes us all.
It will all be worth it in the end.
If he cared for the child he wouldn't risk her being taken to care.
I am really praying the phycologist nails him down as the phycopath he is.
Remember that case where custody got switched over.
keep reading that over and over and over again and show your solicitor because this is so similiar.
The thing that he has that is working against you is that he has care of your child while this is going on.
If he hadn't it would have been easier to fight the case because you still have the child with you.
With easier I mean emotionally for you, and he be unable to deliver any blows by delaying.
Thats show he really does not want you in her life.
Undermining you and all this will work against him.
and that is what he is working with to grind you down and even that is temporary.
Hold you head up my girl.
You have shown strength that amazes me.
You are worthy of admiration.
How he delivers a punch and how you dealt with that so eloquently.
How you articulated yourself so efficiently.
How you just do not give up.
Worthee of a medal.
and an example to us all
I feel your pain so much, its hard to respond
because
I have know women to commit suicide when dealing with such phycopaths.
and have faith that woman he is with now.
Wait and see.
My ex is phycopath himself.
and you should see what she put me through and how he now abuser her since he cant get hold of me anymore lol.
Her day will come.
Leopards can't change their spots, they only change targets.
your his hobby atm.
That looser probably sits in a dark room plotting and planning on how to aggrivate you next.
and half of what you believe is just an illusion.
or half truths mixed with lies.
I dont think his girlfriends really cares about your daughter as much as you think or really wants to be her mum
and i dont think they are as happy as you think they are.
they are 2 bored bullying loosers with a target.
and its you.
so that even a small phone call is a moment to undermine you.
sorry they just have nothing better to do.
even you given a phone to your child is a moment to undermind you and you daring to speak up about him lying well he nastyness really came out didn't it.
how dare you question him.
You are the source of his whole confidence atm.
he feeds of your misery.
he is a parasite.
there will never be any good redeeming feautures in such loosers.
wicked till they enter their grave!
Thanks louise i am speaking with social next week about contact
Thanks Shockedmum your also very brilliant and great advice i will show my mc enzie freind what you have said thats very very usefull
Trouble is Shockedmum when we saw the pyhcologist she listened to his false allegations about me and she beleived him and thinks i'm paranoid cause he told her i was abused as a child (sexually) and thats effected me, it has effected me but not the way he told her. now thats why she thinks shes better with him whilst i have councelling and parenting sessions which i am, but she dont reconise what he is and that our child is manipulated she didn't think thats happened or happening.
do you think i could ask her for a second apinion? saying she hasn't known all his doings and its no good her reading his statements which are full of lies or the ss which also got it all wrong
Thanks so much for your continued support i think i wouldn't have had the strength if it wern't for you and the support i get from here. although i do also have supportive freinds and family
ABT xxx
I do not even know what to say abt,
Other then Your daughter is soooooooooooo lucky to have you, amazing mother.
and so what if he mentioned that, you spin that in your favour.
Not sure how will think of something lol.
He gave her some dribble and you correct it and keep putting the spot light on his questionable conduct.
and about the phycologist you need to speak to your solicitor about that.
But I will see what I can dig up online for you.
If I can spin mental health issue's and a attempted suicide in my favour bloody hell you were innocent you can spin that too definately get a second opinion you are entitled to that courts just examine the evidence and if there is evidence lacking well how can they make a fair judgement? It never effected your parenting is what you need to show and all that they are looking for and he is basically saying it has.
You need a solicitor love. Legal advice.
I do think it would be good to get a second opinion. Glad you are getting counselling about the abuse you suffered. I don't understand why this would neccessarily affect your own parenting unkess you were abusing your daughter, which you are not!!!!!
It's great that you have so much support from those around you, you really need this while you are coping with all this difficulty.
hi hun how are u, u av alot support on here, we are here for u, i av ad alot support for the last year on here, why are to professionals so blined to ur ex and his lies,i no these men are very manipulitive,cafcass guy said to me after he interviewed ex tht hes very manipultive man,glad he saw thru him, u can get a 2nd opionion hun, b strongxxx
Thanks shockedmum. yes i did see this especially where is states if they keep false accusations they are committing perjury i really need to put all this down in my statement and have a word with my mc enzie freind i cant talk to her until mid august cause i can't afford to pay her any more money at moment but if i get this all ready for her i will make sure she has the most important information on my statements
thanks so much your so kind and helpfull sometimes its all too much to cope with
ABT Xxxx
Hi to Keria - Thanks for your support i don't know where you get your strength from Love to you xxx
hi hun aw thanks hun love to u to, i dotn no where i get my strentgh from lolxx
Thanks for the research Shockedmum.
You are all strong women
had a conference plan letter and firstly it states our girl needs a settled secure place that has been missing in her life (how can they say that she has always lived with me) and that she should be with one of his family should he go into hospital (what about my family?) and that he should monitor her behaviour and mood because she had said about a nightmere that i would kill her) and she needs councelling because of witnessing DA, Moving to fathers and elleged abuse from me and being asked by varous professionals who she wants to live with (AND IT WAS THEM THAT BLOODY ASKED HER) plus she should go on the childrens freedom program (so how on earth does that make any sense they are admitting abuse and yet shes living with him) And i need councelling because shes moved to live with her father.
Will i ever get her back? the social worker that left told me i will have a better chance at court hearing when i have completed the parenting and they want to remove her from protection plan and i should be having unsupervised visits to enable me to build a relationship and we would probaly get shared residence, they say one thing and do another, and how would councelling help me? i wont ever come to terms with my child given to emotional abuser i want her returned
What have they actually done to improve our lives? NOTHING! Just caused more emotional abuse and caos!! Idiotic no gooder -ankers
Hey abt,
WHO ARE THESE PPL MAKING THESE DECISIONS?
and what is a conference letter?
wth.
Is this court?
they are the social services nothing they say is true and it dont make sense it actually contradicts itself UTTERLY STUPID
Freaken hell.
since when do social services have this kind of power
They keep making these dumb reports filled with their own opinions.
Have you recorded them?
and their contradictions?
I was liking them a little while ago but this has re-affirmed my hatred of them.
You know abt social services are full of crap.
To be honest when my child was not even in my care And i wanted her back they made it imposible for me because my sister had her and didnt return her.
Then i spoke to the higher powers lol my mum and she gave her back.
and they couldnt even say a peep!
other then we have looked at your house and think she will be alright there lol.
when 2 weeks earlier they were like well it will take time and you need to take slow steps you cant have her back like that lol.
I wish i could do something about this for you.
Do you have a solicitor?
Hi yes i have a mcenzie freind but i cant talk to her till mid august as i cant afford to
but i am making notes and i printed out that court case where they granted residence because of false allegations.
I am seeing the social worker whos new to the case and hope she can be reasonable
we will see.
meanwhile i have written to the phycologist asking for a second opinion because her report will have great powers in the court room.
it's just very trying have to fight social service, the x plus the court
thanks , you have helped me a lot, more than anyone prob because you been through similar experience
it's wrong isn't it. tell you people should be locked up for doing wrong and wrecking lives and the social should be shot. they are totally wrongn's hypercrit, lies conspircey and they say in the childs best interest Hu they are causing so much harm plus not saving children that have been badly abused or murdered
best wishes to you xxx
for example i was sexually abused as a child from the ages of 5 untill 15
did they help me then? no did they spot the signs: withdrawn, no confidence, constant sadness.
then they prob assume i'm abusive cause i been abused WRONG i love my child more than anyone in the world i wouldn't do any wrong for her i try to protect her but i can't.
if court dont work i will just take her and elope i will find a way
Don't do that, please you can fight this it will just take time.
Time and patience.
And a clear head.
These social workers get on my nerves. Honestly what a Injustice!
Have they even considered the childs wishes?
They have the nerve to use that against you!
how dare they If this was a court of law then they would have commited a grievous injustice to just presume every parent that has been abused will turn out to be abusers.
They can't be allowed to say these things!
You know i did some research on my ex and his behaviour.
Look up sociopath.
ring any bells with him?
http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html
Keep that fighting spirit, you are amazing and you will achieve your goals!
Record them, and then when its all done see if you can sue them for pain and suffering!
Hugs abt, You be alright.
This is a story for the grand kids one day.
How you slayed the evil dragons lol
Hugs xxx
Hi,
Yes he is defenitley a sociopath he is a sociopathic nassicstic liar!!!
lol... and he keeps telling me i have mental problems!!!
thanks shockedmum yes i will keep on fighting and taking notes of all your advice which is really helping me with my statements
thanks to you
have a goodnight my freind your marvalous support
abt xx
hi angry aw hun ope ur ok, when wil it end, u are strong keep bein strong hun, it is hard, believe me, i no, xx
hi Kiera,
5 days till your court is it? are you ok, yes i am as strong as an ox, nothing and i mean nothing breaks me. just gets on my nerves, lol
hope you have success at court sure you will, it just takes so long it's a really ridiculas proceedure
i'm still going to start a protest for justice for women that has suffered at the hands of abusive men and how the courts need change and social need getting rid of
have a goodnight
xxx
Yeah thats what sociopaths do pick on those they feel need guidance or have been through things and can emotional exploit those issue's for their own gratifications.
They are chamelons and can mirror your own emotions into becoming the perfect partner.
You are at the stage of having exposed that narc so he is attack the truth.
and is fearing his web of deceit will be exposed.
that is exactly what he is fighting.
Not at all for the welfare of the child, which is meant to be of paramount here.
But a tool of power to beat you down with, and social services and court are his audience.
He is a sociopath.
You will win girl.
I believe in you!
and night night guys xxx
oh and check this link
http://datingasociopath.com/2013/03/07/top-15-signs-you-have-been-dating-a-sociopath/
You see when you realize what you are dealing with, he has then lost his power over you.
I pity that fool that is messing with our abt.
It will be his downfall!
It's good that you can support each other through this. It's great to have a fighting spirit but try not to let the anger eat away at you, you need to keep it external, to provide the energy to take the neccessary action. Onwards and upwards!
louise i have court next wednesday, bit worried bout ex, its last hearing, u hear stores women bein ambushed outside the court by ex not happy with outcum, cos he wil,blame me
abt, have you visited the Family Rights Group website? Did you find them helpful? I think they are brilliant, they do such a good job of supporting people in your position. I have not heard of childrens Freedom Programme, that is a new one on me, but I think it would be great if your daughter could learn more about what is going on.
Hey shockedmum, what goes around comes around.
kiera, lets talk more about your fear of court on your thread.
Hi kiera,
You'll be fine.
He wont be able to harm you at all.
If you are surrounded by friends.
To many witnesses.
Hi anna, indeed what goes around does eventually come back around.
spoke to social today and she said he is the better parent and we are to stop bickering, and because phycologist recommended her placed with her father i dont stand a chance getting her back because our girl is saying she dont want to live with me in case i hit her, where i am strugling with parenting she said because of abuse in my child hood i'm effected and i either get emotional or overwhelmed or not consistant. I told her i'm doing the parenting classes and trying hard and she said well thats just so that your better when your having contact but you wont get her back because your abusive
i told her they keep listening to his lies and they are not reconising shes suffering emotionally with his abuse and i want quality contact but he is sabataging it, but they have already made their minds up they think he's a saint and even said i may have to have less contact and i'm not to give her a mobile because shes too young and caught up in the middle of our arguing
i told her about my son not being able to talk and she said well she dont need to see him very often and it will need to be arranged with x
then i asked why they wont investigate his family but they have mine and she said he's already told them why he aint had any contact with them and what more do they need to know? Then in the same breath she said he's reported to the police i have a dangerous person living at mine and they are going to do a police check on x because they had 2 records but 2 different dateof birth? very confusing abvoisley a lie that they are listening to. i don't have anyone thats dangerous living here
Oh ABT, I wish I could say something that would make a difference to you but I'm not sure that I can.
I am presuming you have good legal representation and I can only encourage you to go along with whatever your psychologist and/or social services 'suggest'. Even if it feels pointless and arbitrary to you, to be seen as cooperative can not do you any harm in the fight to get your girl back. And it seems fight is wha you will have to do.
Stay strong and please keep posting.
M x