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Pink-loads of hugs. The hot chocolate and squirty cream and flake sounds devine, and I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you get the chance to talk things through with your tutor. I'm sorry the teaching didn't go well, children can be so mean with students. I still remember a student teaching us history and the boys were horrid. I just felt sick.
Alison - glad you've had a nice snuggle with your son. Good to have a clear out too! So lovely when you can get rid of stuff. I'm encouraging me lot to have a bit of a clear up. We're going to the garage in mo - eldest has already started - just he's bringing stuff in - AGGGGHHHHH!
I love garden centres. The one I go to has a hill though, and I just can't do hills at the mo. Bad enough trying to walk to the back of the centre where they have the craft centre.
I feel so much better today. I stripped the bed too - nice to get into a clean bed after feeling rough. Just need to face the challenge of getting the bedding back on later! lol
Lovely day here today - although not quite as sunny as yesterday. It was really foggy last night.
Hello everyone
Glad you're feeling better sparkling, the clean sheets will be lovely tonight. At the garden centre, there were some polyresin models of meerkats. Most were ordinary but there was one in a military uniform that reminded me of those adverts. "SIMPLES!"
Pink, yes just one week to half term HOORAY. I do wonder if the critical stance the teachers are taking is just sour grapes and bit of jealousy? Hopefully the tutor will be a lot more helpful. I have every sympathy about the assignment, I am doing one too. Sorry to hear about your boy's dad; that's all you need. Look after yourself and stay strong.
Alisoncam hope you had a lovely snuggle with your hot choc. Re the site I know that Anna is hoping there will be some tweaks to make it easier soon, new people don't seem to be joining in as much so I think they are trying to make it more obvious where we are, from the home page. Sadsy and Pansy have been able to get on, and lindsaygii. Shortie2 may have been very busy with going back to work. Hope that things will get more lively soon!
Hi
So sorry to read that you have been having a tough time with teaching. I am sure it is exhausting, especially with a classroom full of youngsters everyday.
All new jobs are exhausting there is SO much to learn, it will get easier, I'm sure. You are doing a great job, keep believing in yourself.
I am wondering what is going on with your ex. I know that you are worried about writing about it on this board as he may find the posts, however, considering how hard we are all finding it, I doubt he would have much luck :) I understand if you prefer not to though, may be it would be good to write it all out anyway for your own clarity?
Hi everyone,
well its being a mixed week so far.
Uni tutor came to school and observed one of my lessons on Monday and gave me really positive feedback, told me not to worry, I was doing really well, one of the best lessons he's seen by a student this year:) so my confidence was much better as a result...until yesterday when one of the teachers at school had a word with me, about how she thinks I need to prepare for my classes further in advance, to quote her "you need to work all weekend to make sure you have every lesson for the week planned...I know you've got a child but it doesn't change the work you need to do"!!!!!!! (She doesn't have any children and seemed to be blaming me for having a child, and that it meant i couldn't be a proper teacher or something!!) This was after my tutor saying on MOnday how much more organised and prepared I am than he ever has been....grrr...anyway this teacher really upset me, I just said I'd do my best but weekends were difficult and escapre from her room....anyway then my mentor (another teacher at school) happened to find me and ask if I was ok as I looked upset and I burst into tears!!! whooops, I just couldn't help it.
Anyway I ended up talking to my mentor for quite a while, explaining that I work every single evening, generally from 7pm to 11pm but I can't find more hours in the day and I can't work all the weekend etc etc. Thankfully she was really kind and said she knew I was working really hard and that she would help me to work more effectively (which is where I'm struggling - people keep telling me to do things but not explaining how!). anyway she gave me a few tips and has also now created a few more free periods in my timetable that will be useful - I don;t miss any lessons where I was teaching, just extra ones that I was observing. I'm glad now that she knows how worried and tough I was finding it. As for the teacher that wasn't happy with me, well I'm just going out of my way to be nice and normal and try to get her stuff prepared, but it won't be at the sacrifice of my time with my son! She thinks I should work all half term; in reality I've got a uni assignment that I'll be doing in the evenings and the days are time for my son - i'll get the school work done somehow, and it will be good, but when i feel its appropriate to get done..
ooops sorry for the long post. glad you are all finding your way around these boards. thanks for all the support.
ex is a total pain in the a** but hey nothing new there! I'm being sickly nice to him to show he's not capable of upsetting me;)
xx
Hi
I bet you were as proud as punch after what the uni tutor had to say to you. WELL DONE. The teacher that said you had to work all weekend? Perhaps she is a bit jealous of the fact that YOU have a life outside of the school. I would take her comments with a pinch of salt. Your mentor sounds very understanding, and it is great that she is setting you a few free periods to get some work done. Hopefully, that will free up some time for you and your son :) As for your ex, it is good that you aren't giving him the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
I hope you have a good day today, I'm guessing you're looking forward to the hols. I think you are really great for sticking at this.
Take care
Alison
x
I'm so glad you had a really good and positive meeting with your tutor and a very helpful and supportive talk with your Mentor.
Focus on what they say.
As for the teacher, I agree and feel that she could well be envious of your life...
Ex - well, clearly he's a Git. I have one of those :-D
xxxx
That's fantastic that your tutor gave you that feedback, and he is the one to listen to. Also I am glad the mentor was so constructive and hopefully that will be a better way forward.
It must be so hard to stay focused in the midst of all this and yet that is what you have to do, to get through this and to get that qualification.Hooray it is half term and you must try and get some rest as well as all that work.
Well done with coping with your son's dad, good plan!
Yes, hooray for half term!!!! All of a sudden the course seems manageable again - its such a change to any job I've done before - 6 weeks of complete pressure then a lovely break, thats going to be my routine now for the forseeable future!
Seen a job advertised for Sept that I love the sound of, going to go for a drive past the school to see if the journey is feasible...am quite excited.
Also odd thing happened: do you remember all my angst last summer when I had one super duper best ever date with a friend of a friend who said he would contact me to meet up again and he never did???? Well surprise surprise this week I got a text from him apologising profusely for his lack of manners, saying hes now working in London and been really busy with that etc etc. Bit odd as its 8 months since i heard of him. Spoke to our mutual friend, apparently the date keeps going on about me and how lovely and funny I was - the friend thinks he is testing the water with me to see if he has blown it completely. In reality i think he has blown it but its still nice to have received the text and accept that he actually must have enjoyed meeting me (otherwise he surely wouldn't have re-contacted me). I'm too busy to get uptight about it all over again and I'm very content on my own at the mo but a bit of intrigue is still nice around the dreaded Valentines day - lol.
Hope you are all having a nice Saturday
xx
Yes it is nice to get some compliments. Luckily Valentine's Day is a Sunday so those who wish to avoid it can probably do so heh heh
Valentine's Day? What is this Valentine's day that one is speaking about?
**whistles**
And think of all the money we've saved :-D
Hi
Well Done for surviving another term and for getting somre really positive feedback from your tutor and that is the one that counts as their opinion is more realistic as they are the ones that are seeing the level the other student teachers are at whereas the teachers at your school do not have that to compare you against and so might not be so realistic in their judgements.
I would listen to the positive comments and take that to heart and hear the other comments but try not to get bogged down by them. great that your mentor is helping to find some time for you and being constructive.
Good for you to prioritise your half term day time with your son. I agree with you there.
Nice to be appreciated and have an admirer even if they are busy too!
Enjoy the rest of your half term, try not to get too het up by your next assignment and good luck with any future job applications.
Cheers C-L
Hi, thanks for all your kind and supportive posts.
I'm hitting a bit of a wall this half term. Son and I are both under the weather and exhausted and I can't motivate myself to get any work done, either school preparation or the dreaded assignment. This means as every unproductive evening passes I am panicing more and more which means I can't seem to get anything done. Help. I just don't know how I am going to face going back to school on MOnday :(
x
I'm so sorry to read your post. I'm struggling with an essay never mind what you have going on.
Sending loads of hugs and positive thoughts your way. Is your tutor available to speak to?
Hi
Sorry you are not feeling 100% and you son is not well either. This is a really tough time for you with lots of pressure to get stuff done but you must concetrate on you and your son getting well again - something I have learned over the years is that actually our health is the most important thing and needs to be top priority.
Is there any way you can get a note form the dr for yourself? And can you contact the college to let them know you are not well?
Something I am still trying to do is to listen to my body much more, if I feel tired and unmotivated then I probably do need to rest.
Is there anyway you can rest and read preparation stuff for your college work at the same time? This way the info is going in and is there for when you are more able to get up and write.
We are all thinking of you and sending you best wishes.
C-L
Hi
I hope you and your little boy are feeling better today. I guess my advice would be, get yourself strong and well first, and your son, before you think about the school stuff. There are still a number of days left, and if you can just do a bit, at least they can see that you've done your best, and made an effort even though you've not been 100%. Have you been able to speak to your tutor?
Take care, loads of hugs
Alison
x
Hi, just been to the doctors, got antibiotics for my chest infection. No doubt these will get me feeling better just in time for back to school on Monday :( sadly done none of my lesson planning or assignment tho. Am going to email my tutor to ask for an extension for my assignment, not ideal cos it just pushes the stress into another week but I'm just not capable of anything when I feel like this.
Hi
That is good that you have got something for you chest. If it is anything like I had over xmas and new year, then it is pretty nasty. Did you manage to get a Dr's note for the period you will taking the anitbiotics for as you can then give this in to your tutor and to the school as proof that you were ill. You should not really be going back untill you have finished the course of anitbiotics - have you got a weeks worth?
You are right, there is no way you can feel up to or even be up to doing work for college while you have a chest infection. i think an extension is the sensible way to go and I am sure you will be able to find time to get it done once you are feeling 100% again and more able to deal with it.
How is your son doing? Does he have a chest infection as well?
I hope you both get better soon.
C-L
I'm so glad you have antibiotics and hope you start to feel better very soon.
I'm so sorry you're feeling so stressed. Its so difficult to deal with, I know.
I was speaking to one of the girls in Scouts last night. She's been off work with stress, and last night I was speaking with her and just broke down. I just totally feel so as if I can't justify feeling like this anymore. However, the way she's explained it has made me feel less down on me - I think.
Loads of hugs
I think I've formulated plan....so got my antibiotics but think they always take about 48 hours to really kick in?? So I'll feel grotty til Sunday afternoon. The problem with going back to school on Monday, even if I feel well by then, is that I'll have done no lesson planning so it will be a really horrible day. So my plan is to hopefully start feeling better on Sun then have Monday and Tues off sick when I can start really getting my head round a bit of this work when son is at school. I feel really guilty even considering this but the way i feel at the moment i want to give up totally, a couple of quieter days might be what i need to get back on track. The doctor didn't give me a note but she did say not to go back until i feel better and if school or uni query it they can write to her and she can confirm she saw me today and I did have a chest infection etc. In reality i don;t think they will question it as i am always so conscientious, i just feel guilty like i always do whenever i have days off sick.
I think that sounds like a good plan
Hi , that sounds good, get yourself better soon, and then concentrate on what you need too.
Hi Pink
That sounds like a great plan and I don't think you should feel at all guilty about doing that way as that really is the most sensible way round I think. You are meant to take the antibiotics for about a week so I would suggest you don't actually go back till you have finished the course of antibiotics and use all that time to do the planning and essay that you have not been able to do over the half term and get yourself totally well before retuning to a stressful environment. After all you have missed your relaxing/planning time over the half term and you do need that time.
Hi Sparklinglime
I am sorry to hear you got upset speaking to your colleague at Scouts the other day. It sounds as though it was a good relief - it is good to let go of the grief/stress and that you felt better afterwards which is good. I hope that you an start to feel positive about yourself and not be down on yourself as you are an amazing person and a real support for a huge number of people.
Cheers C-L
Hi, well i'm finally feeling better, had today off sick and going to do the same tomorrow, then hopefully back on Wed. having a really self piteous time at the moment - how come I haven't got a gorgeous (i wouldn't mind if they weren't gorgeous - just want kind and trustworthy really) bloke to take care of little old me sometimes....why is everything such bloomin hard work...i walk down the street and there are couples everywhere....i'm not a bad person...i can be nice....when i've slept i can even look pretty...and i'm clever...and like every single mum, have an amazing sense of humour - what more do you want chaps???!!!! lol I realise i haven't got time for any dates or all the woo-ing stuff, but how come i didn't settle down 10 years ago and manage to keep him, wouldn't it be nice to snuggle up to someone rather than my son's old teddy every night... hmmmm...i'm avoiding doing my lesson planning, as you can probably tell, hmmmm best go and try to work :(
Sounds like everyone is struggling at the moment, can we still blame it on the time of year? When will it feel like Spring?
xx
Hi
Glad you are feeling better, it is amazing what antibiotics can do. When we are down or ill then I think it really comes home to us that we are doing this thing alone (although I know plenty of couples where they might as well be alone, I was in one of these when the children were little and if I was ever ill I got no care or help)
With spring just round the corner it is the final push; we are all sick of the snow and ice and want some lovely sunshine.
Are you off today as well? if so I hope you get some chances to relax as well as all that lesson planning.
Take care
Hi, you ask why you didn't meet someone lovely 10 years ago and are now nicely settled....
Yawn! How bored you would be of him right now, he would feel like the faithful old teddy of your son's by now. You have the chance to live your life to the fullest, make all your own choices, decisions and follow new career paths!
No thats a bit mean of course you can do all those things with the right person, but unfortunately we made choices to be with men that weren't the right one, but there is always the future.
You are finding your own happiness and it is the making of you, as your son gets older and you are settled into your job, you will look back at this time and feel really proud of all the steps you are making.
We believe in you, your tutor and mentor believes in you, your son believes in you. You are obviously doing something right and all in good time, the right person will come along. :)
Are your lesson plans going well today? Are you feeling better and still going back to school tomorrow?
Ah thanks :)
yes, feeling lots better today. Have planned my lessons for the week and now have the dreaded assignment in front of me! I've got an extension to the deadline but it would be nice to get a bit of it written before i get back to school tomorrow.
I suppose everything just seems a bit of a grind right now but I know it will get better, I've also decided that, regardless of how busy school is, I need to keep planning stuff at weekends to look forward to - i tried to work every hour I had last half term and it just made me feel so fed up and i still didn't get everything done..this half term will be more about a balanced approach...working hard is unavoidable but the odd break for some 'me' time, this Friday i'm out for drinks (can't remember the last time.. one glass of wine and I'll be asleep or dancing on the tables, not sure which!!), then next weekend I'm meeting some very old friends in London for a girlie lunch...hopefully it will all keep me sane.
These two days off work have made me feel human again, I definately needed them and hopefully it means I'll make it to the end of the course, only 4 months to go now :)
Really appreciate everyone's support xx
I am so very glad you're feeling human again.
:-)
Hmmm well my new relaxed attitude is working well, perhaps too well.....just can't seem to find the motivation to get my lesson plans or my assignment done...aaargh Had a lovely weekend tho ;)
Hi
It's lovely to hear you so relaxed again! Hope you managed to get the assignment completed. Great to hear you've had a lovely weekend, sounds like just what the Doctor ordered, plus the antibiotics of course!!!
Is it next weekend that you are meeting up in London? Uhmmm, I sense another chilled out one then, good for you.
Have a lovely week, I really hope it is stress free, or as stress free as it can be.
Take care
Alison
x
That sounds good. :-)
xxx
oh this is so tough :( I've been battling on, determined to see the course through, literally counting the days off. I've got to the tough part of term again tho, still two and a half weeks til the Easter hols. I've shattered and so fed up of working every evening. Got nothing to look forward to as no time or money for anything else.
Kids were wild in class today, makes me feel like I'll never be able to cope with teaching, and as a result i come home and am extra strict to my son which isn't fair on him at all - it wasn't him ignoring my instructions all day.
Sorry i've been quiet on the boards, just been trying to focus on work. Seems very selfish of me to disappear and then just come back on for a massive rant but somehow the typing makes me feel slightly better.
Got to plan 3 lessons to show the ice queen teacher tomorrow - no doubt they won't be good enough, I've come to accept that whatever I do that is what she says. I really struglly to find the motivation to gt anything done tho when I know that I will get that feedback regardless. I realised today that I behave with her in a very similar way to the way i used to behave with my ex. Tiptoe round her, be terribly polite and nice and just try to please her. She is so controlling. Or maybe its just i can't handle her very well. Whichever it is i find it tough and wish i could stand up to her more. Its just i'm always aware that I'm the student and I'm supposed to respect her position. I hope i never make anyone feel like that tho.
really struggling to fit everything (ie the rest of my life) into the weekends at the moment, the house needs a good clean, i'd love to get out in the garden again and my friends seem so indignant that i havent seen them for ages that I seem to spend sundays running round after them when all i want to do is put my feet up - aaaargh - really not sure i can lead this sort of life forever - surely my white knight on his lovely horse must be due to appear out of nowhere soon???!!!!
x
Hi
You do have things to look forward to. At the end of this, you will qualify, and you will have more money than you have now (hopefully). You are doing sooooooooo well, and I know from your posts it is hard, but you really are a godsend for me, because I look at your posts, and think, if she can do it, then so can I. (I'm only going for a teachers assistant, so I'm not nearly as clever as you, but you keep me inspired)
I actually cried when I read your post, because you are so strong , and you just keep on going and that is great. You're a brilliant Mum, and yes you are tired at the moment, and yes you are being hard on your son at the moment, but you recognise that and that is good too.
You don't give in, and that is what I admire about you. I've given in to smoking, (so much a slight thing to what you are going through)
Concentrate on what you're doing, we will all be here for you. Take care, and sending lots of hugs and strength to you
alison
x
You'll get there. Days now to the Easter holidays. While you may not have a break from the work, you will from the teacher.
Your son will realise you're tired, but this is for him too...
I gave up the OU, and life isn't any easier! lol
Loads and loads of hugs and strength.
Don't worry about the posting - we know you have to focus on the course, and I know you're thought about...
xxxx
Thanks Alisoncam and sparklinglime....oh why is life so tough for us?? I'm having an 'its not fair' moment. I have a friend that exudes happiness, she tells me the secret is just to focus on the good stuff, the stuff that is going well, that I enjoy, that I want more of...sounds great, but really can't see the good stuff at the moment...just other people busy relaxing with partners and having fun whilst, like everyone on here, I seem to face new hurdles every day. Wish I wasn't so full of gloom tonight. I just want to cry and cry and not go to school tomorrow! But that really isn't the answer. I can't give up as I know i've come so far, still wonder tho if I'm really doing the right thing, for me and my son, feel i'm missing out on so much of his stuff at the moment. Oh i'm grumpy :( no wonder I'm alone!!
It's always worse when everyone else "seems" to be having a nice time.
Sparkling is right: the countdown to Easter is on...and then you will only have ONE TERM to go. I think it is very astute of you to recognise your behaviour towards the teacher being similar to the way you behaved with a former partner...and maybe that is the key to why she presses your buttons, that she reminds you of him. Then again, we might have been right in the first place about her, ha ha.
As you can see by the replies you have received, you are a real inspiration to others and you should be very proud of yourself that you have stuck with it.
Hey, you are more than welcome to pop in and out of these boards, in fact it keeps us in suspense and then a welcome surprise!
I am going to start off by telling you that you are not alone because you are grumpy and also that a knight in shining armour WILL NOT change your life, it will just be something else to contend with, which you don't need or have time for at the mo, so hold your horses!!
This is your life and you are creating it right now, so whoever comes into it will only enhance all that you have achieved rather than change it.
You are doing a fine job and a great example to us all. We are all so proud of you.
It sounds tough at the moment and although you cant see the wood for the trees, do try what you friend says, try and see the good. I went through a phase (about 3 months) of writing down last thing at night 3 things that I was greatful for. It was a really good exercise. Most of the time it was just small things like grateful for the tulips blossoming or my cosy bed, or managing to get dinner cooked, washed up and my daughter going to bed easily! It really helped, especially looking back over a few weeks. Its the small things that count.
Another thing that I have done in the past is...when dealing with a difficult situation, I have pretended to be one of my friends who is very assertive! That really helped!
You can do this and we believe in you :)
Thanks for the encouragement Louise and Anna, I never expected this PGCE course to be such an emotional rollercoaster or so relentless. But I'm proud that I'm getting through it eventually. Hopefully next term the pressure will ease ever so slightly.
Yes, I agree Anna, I have no time for a partner at the moment, was just having one of those lonely days when it would have been nice for someone to have made me a cup of tea and given me a hug, I know from bitter experience its not always like that tho.
Friday tomorrow and I have my lessons planned ready so I'm looking forward to tomorrow lunchtime when I finish my teaching for the week (I love having free periods in the afternoon - altho these days I seem to always have marking to do) and can look forward to a nice weekend seeing a few of mine and my sons friends and catching up with stuff at home.
Will post for longer soon, off to bed tho now
Night
x
Hey Pink,
HAPPY FRIDAY!
I hope the lesson went as planned and the children behaved themselves! I hope there isn't too much marking?
Have a fab weekend with your pals, relax and enjoy your time.
Speak soon
Hurrah for Fridays!
Enjoy the weekend
xx
ah thanks everyone :)
just watching tv whilst drinking a glass of wine and eating cheesecake, my friday treat :) life feels pretty good tonight. It never fails to amaze me how my moods and ability to cope with everything change on a daily basis.
Love my son. Love teaching (just hate the late nights planning but thinnk that will ease). Love my house. Love my family. Love my friends. And Spring is here. Good times :)
Have a good weekend everyone
X
Anyone heard from lindsaygii recently? was wondering how her course is going and wanted to give her some encouragement and tell her the pgce gets better! Hope you read this lindsay
xxx
Haven't heard anything and have been wondering how she is too, and hoping all going Ok for her and the little one.
Back to school on Monday so busy struggling with the latest assignment today - boo hiss cos the sun is shining and I want to be outside!! Current teaching placement finishes in 3 weeks tho so I'm hoping things get a bit easier then for the remainder of the course, fingers crossed the weather stays nice so I can finally relax and enjoy it!
ooh no maths test?? I must not have posted for a while, didn't knnow that had disappeared!
I think we only just got rid of the maths, :-0
Good to hear from you amidst all your hard work. Only three weeks to go...yay! I bet you can't believe you are nearly at the end of this placement. Well done you; we are all very proud of you.
Hopefully there will be lots more sunny days when you finish the course proper and you can have a fab summer.....
Second that, hope all goes smoothly for you from now on. Hope you and your son have had a lovely Easter.
Me too!
Good to know that you're almost there!
xx
thanks everyone :) lovely Easter thanks but in foul mood and feeling very flustered tonight - why didn't I do more work in the holidays? why do i never learn? lol, oh well it will get done somehow...
Hope you've all had good Easters too. Got my son's school uniform out, feel really sad, been a lovely couple of weeks with him, especially with this lovely weather.
xx
You'll get there...
I know. I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
Hi
I'm truely sorry that things aren't any easier. On top of the school thing, now you have the added pressure of the ex. I hope your uni tutor gives you lots of praise, and recognises the hard work that you've been putting in. (I'm sure he will) You'd think the teachers would give encouragement rather than criticise all the time. Don't let them grind you down, you're a real trooper, honestly you are.
I hope you get to spend some time with your lovely son tomorrow, and the day isn't totally taken up with the lesson planning for next week.
Enjoy your hot choc, especially with the flake. The squirty cream is a big no no for me. (I loathe it). I have had two hot chocs this evening. Unfortunately no flakes! I'm heading for bed soon, so might take another cup in with me.
I'm finding the site easier, but then I'm able to get on much more than you. I am missing the other members though. Its very quiet here, just Sparkling, Louise and Anna. Sadsy and Pansy have popped up too, and also lindsaygii. Am wondering if the others are having problems getting on here. Louise, Anna, do you think thats possible??
The little fella is falling asleep beside me, so I'm going for a snuggle. I hope you have a good night, and that things with your ex settle down quickly for you.
Take care, hugs
Alison
x