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yet another bad day, just hate being me at the moment, reasons are too many to list. And I have a massive headache. And after I've got son to bed I need to totally re-do the lesson plan I stayed up til midnight to do last night cos the teacher who normally takes the class has criticised everything I had planned to do. I'm exhausted and just want to sleep, and cry, but sadly no time for either. I am not prepared to quit but at this rate feel all the work and anxiety about it is just going to make me ill. No one else at school has young children so they no concept of how tired I am and the two lives I lead (trainee teacher and mum). sorry to have yet another moan and rant on here. Hope you are coping better than me Lindsay.
xx
Hi
Oh, I'm really sorry to hear yet another bad day. You're really going through the mill at the moment. How about that friend you spoke to last week (I think). Could you not ring him for support and a good cry? I know you say you haven't even time for sleep or a cry, but you'll make yourself ill and you'll be no good to yourself or little boy.
How about seeing the doctor to see if they can give you something?
Keep thinking ahead, and only a few more weeks before half-term. I really admire you for not quitting, or even thinking of it.
Take care, and lots of hugs
Alison
x
Hi
I have just lost my reply to you - sorry this one might not be upto the previous one! I am sorry to hear you are having a difficult time with your planning at the moment. I had to re-do a 10 week plan for my yoga course and all of us that had to re-do that piece of work found it really hard to get criticism as we had all worked hard on putting it together. It felt particularly hard because of the way the feedback had been put. i think there is a real art to giving feedback as it is a bit like tlaking to children - there needs to be an equal amount of praise for it to be accepted and taken on board.
Is it really a case of having to re-do it rather than tweek it? I managed to speak to my marker on the yoga course, get clarification and then tweek.
Good luck and keep strong (Ithink that was the jist of what I just wrote!)
Big hugs C-L
Thanks Alison and Claire Louise. yes, the feedback made me feel totally rubbish, I had spent about 10 hours in total planning and got absolutely no praise whatsoever. I can't actually see that the way that the teacher wants it done will be better but because I'm the student I have to defer to her way of thinking and start all over again, no doubt tomorrow I won't present it quite like she would have done however so I'll be in for another session of criticism. I am rather disillusioned as the school where I have been placed is very critical of its pupils and keeps telling me not to expect much from them and dumb everything down, its not how I want to be tho - I don;t want to give up on kids. I am totally exhausted and frustrated, can't see how I'm going to keep going for another 4 months at this school, smiling sweetly and having to do teach in a way I'm uncomfortable with but really don't have any other options available to me. If I give up then its been pointless going thro all the tough times that I have coped with so far. I spoke to my course friend earlier but he's having a good time at his school and I get the impression he's getting bored of my grumbles! I'm the only teacher in the department at school that is single too, they can all go home and chat to a partner, I come back and get annoyed, no spare cash to justify babysitter, no time to do anything other than work anyway! I must have done something terrible in a previous life to be going thro all this. Hard to remember that 3 years ago I worked two short days a week, had a mercedes (!!!) and a big house with enough money for treats, how times have changed, I don;t miss the money, just the feeling of not being so trapped I suppose and choicces being so limited all the time
xx
Hi
Can you not speak to your tutor? It seems this teacher is not suitable for you to be with. You need someone encouraging, not undermining you. Difficult to re-plan stuff when the direction given is so negative, isn't it? Your friend that's having a good time, to me, shows the support that there is available to be had.
Don't be down on you - please don't. Seems to me it's this teacher who's at fault. I just wonder if its not possible for your tutor to get you a new placement. Four months can be a long time when you're exhausted and unhappy.
Loads of hugs, strength, positive thoughts and a hot chocolate with a flake to dip in it...
xxx
You see, who needs a mercedes, big house, etc, when you can have a hot chocolate with a flake to dip in :lol:
We are all here for you, and we will never get fed up, (I'm sure your friend doesn't, probably just the way you're feeling right now)
Go and give your son a big goodnight kiss and hug, and remember that everything you're doing is for him. I applaud you, I really do, you're a fighter, an excellent Mum, and a great person who gives us lots of support.
Good luck for tomorrow, let us know how you got on.
Big hugs
Alison
x
hello
No wonder you are exhausted. The teacher sounds very unkind, I wonder what her motive is? probably jealous of you, or worried about her own little patch of territory? ;) Don't let her quench your enthusiasm or optimism. Please do have a word with your tutor, as sparkling suggests.
if there really is no escape for the next four months, however, then let us find a way for you to manage it. A wallchart with dates to cross off sounds like a good first step. I do sympathise with the lack of money for babysitters. Can you find another parent where your boy gets on with their child and you can have each other's child for sleepovers occasionally? At least that would give you a break. You're right: if none of the others on the course are single parents then they can have no concept of how hard it is to fit everything in, but don't spend time and energy thinking about them and envying their less stressful lives; it is counter-productive.
One of the things that sounds the most tiring and time-consuming is the lesson plans. You can definitely get help with those from a tutor or other students, without feeling you are having a moan. I think it is really hard to separate out the different elements of a problem when you are tired, low and emotional but try to step outside of the turmoil, think of what you can get help with that relates to the course, and when you want to share stuff about your feelings and your personal thoughts then we are here for you. :)
Take good care
Hi
How are you feeling today?
We are all here for you and backing you every step of the way. I agree with the others that it would be good o speak to your tutor (at college) and do you also have a mentor at the school? I would be tempted to speak to both.
I know so many people who have done the PGCE and said how tough it is but you are pretty much half way through the course now so it would be such a shame to give up.
Would it be possible to someone at the school about the teaching style and that you have been taught differently. There are differetn styles of teaching and fashion that come around - so maybe the teacher who criticised you was brought up with a different teaching style or philosophy or has become quite disenchanted over the years perhaps?
I would voice your opinions to your tutor and ask about an alternative placement.
You sound like a great teacher with a real motivated approach which you really don't want to loose.
Keep strong
C-L
Been thinking about you loads today, and really do hope that you've got through the day ok.
Alison has been thinking of you too, and hopes today went ok.
Thanks everyone for your support. I feel a bit better today (isn't it strange that we seem to have some amazing resilience inside us that when a new day dawns somehow things often feel less daunting?).
Taught a full lesson today, started off fine, then the kids started playing up (year 9) - I'll have to be extra strict next time! Got a massive list of comments from the teacher but to be honest I haven't even read them yet! Have come home and am going to have a bit of a relax before I face them. She was quite nice to me after the lesson so hopefully the criticism will be fairly constructive. Teaching 2 or 3 full lessons every day now so I need to get quicker at the planning and will be asking people for tips on that.
Since the christmas holidays I've literally worked every evening which explains my tiredness and how stressed my whole body feels - I could hardly move my head this morning, I think due to the stress across my shoulder blades. Going to start giving myself Friday night off and a few hours on Saturday when son is with ex. Need to plan some nice things, even if its just taking the dog for a long walk.
Already got a wall chart on which I'm crossing off the days, think that will definately help once I've passed the half way mark at this school, at the moment the days seem to be stretching out forever!
Off to cook something nice now but might post again later.
Take care every one
x
:)
Hi
I am not surprised you are exhausted. It sounds like limiting the planning and preparation time is a helpful strategy. I am glad you have the wallchart; hope things will settle down
Hi
Well done you getting through a full class with year 9!!! I am not sure I can imagine anything worse!!!! I did not realise you were doing secondary teaching - I guess I just assumed it would be primary for some reason. I think I could just about manage doind PGCE for primary but secondary is a whole different ball game so I even more respect for you than I had before. Not only are you doing and surviving PGCE but you are teaching at secondary level too and all of this with a young child - you are a real SUPERMUM!!!!
I think the planning side comes with time and practice so hang in there with that. It is good to give yourself breaks. Could you not have a hot bath and think abou the planning and then do it. It is amazing what actually comes to us when we are relaxed and open. You could plan it out in your head in the bath and then jot it down afterwards. I am basing this idea on how I approach my planning for my yoga classes. At first I did 10 week schedules of work and class plans that tied it with that. Now I just think about it in the lead up to the class and practice myself a bit and go from there.
I am not sure iof that is useful and applicable in any way ???
Have a lovely evening and some quality time to yourself over the weekend.
Cheers C-L
Hi Claire Louise, just found your message from last week, thanks. Yes, secondary it is, not sure if its harder than primary, just very different. Whilst I've found this old thread of mine I've looked and looked for the threads I posted on last night to see if there are any recent posts but can't found where they are....I used to click on the 'see my posts' button which showed just the threads I had contributed to recently - is there still such a thing?? or whatabout the 'see new posts' button? at the mo mine all seems a bit mixed up... I'm sure its probably just me and technology tho....
Nooooo, it isn't you, believe me, haha. I have posted, and then they disappear, or can no longer find them!!! Am not sure here, but if you scroll right to the top to the 'your say' button, click on it, and it takes you back to beginning. There you will see the newer posts!
I'm sure that's it, but don't put your trust in me girl, hehehe. I am well and truely confused.
Hope you are having a good evening. Off to wash up and watch Emmerdale!
Take care
Alison
x
Hey. How's it going today? I was telling another single parent on my course about you yesterday. He was saying if it gets that bad he'll chuck it all in! But we were talking about why we're doing the teacher training, and how it's all about the kids, and I guess we'll all get there in the end...
Tough times though, eh? I really am NOT looking forward to being where you are now. :(
Is there a forum for trainee teachers you know about or use? As well as all the great support here, I'm thinking it would be useful to have a place to chat with others going through the same course, because it really does sound like a tough one... I'll have a look about too if you don't know of any.
Good luck, keep on keeping on, and many hugs. xx
If there is, I can't find it...
I'm sure they're things that will be looked into.
I'm quite missing Anna, Louise and Claire-Louise too.
Prefer to quote a message to reply, rather than this way of 'pushing in' (sorry to those I've pushed in front of!)
I prefer the quote a reply too Sparkling. I do like the fact that we can read all the posts by scrolling instead of all that clicking.
Right now, I'm trying to find the thread I did for the bullying. (the first one I started months ago)
It's so quiet on here at the moment. I'm sorry, but I can't sort the messenger stuff out! Missing our chats.
Hope you and kids ok
Take care
Alison
x
Hi
I, too, am getting used to the new format, which is a bit of a surprise to me. Hey, sparkling lime, let's hope it doesn't do that "jumping thing" when we post longer messages! That would be great.
Alisoncam, here is the link to your bullying thread, which originally appeared in the Separation and Divorce section.
http://www.onespace.org.uk/your-talk/forums/why-dont-school-deal-bullies
Hi Lindsay, thanks for the message.
The good news is I'm beginning to like my school a bit more (or maybe its because I know its not forever and I'm slowly counting the days off - 11 more weeks to go!). The bad news is the quantity of work I'm having to do. So far I've only taught up to 7 lessons a week, next week it will be 10 tho and then 14 per week. I'm struggling finding time now to plan so living in fear of the next few weeks - I've just got to get quicker somehow. I do love it when I'm actually teaching tho so I know its the right thing in the long run and it will be so much better than any other job to fit around my son.
As for other forums, the tes website is really useful if you haven't found it already. Its got loads of great info about teaching, resources for lessons, job ads and also loads of discussion boards. There is one for trainee teachers but I must admit I don;t look at it that often. I find the other students on my course are easy to keep in touch with via facebook so thats quite handy. I know lots of other trainees both at uni and at the schools I have been placed at but I still love this site the most cos we are all in the same situation of bringing our kids up alone and I haven't yet found another trainee teacher at uni doing that!
Yes PGCE is a tough year, but I'm almost half way thro so hopefully in the Summer I'll look back and think it went quickly, for now its just one day at a time. Hope your enhancement course is going well and your son still likes nursery.
Take care
xx
We're ok thanks.
I'm missing the chats too!
xxx
Hahaha!! No jumping yet, Louise - thank goodness. That did drive me cross-eyed!
I gather you two are trying to get Yahoo sorted out?
I have been playing around on the site and it is not that different really, it just takes a while to get used to it. Missing the smilies!!!
Let's get things going on here again, the support is great for us all
Oh yes, definitely need smilies :-)
I was in bed for most of yesterday - had an awful migraine. I'll have a wuzzy head day today.
We've had snow over night - at least .5mm! Melting already, much to the annoyance of the children!
Sleet now, and they get excited when a snow flake comes down.
Youngest has a teacher's training day tomorrow. I might take him to the mountains. There shouldn't be too many visitors there on a week day.
Hi Louise
I have the problem with yahoo. (its always me, haha). When the internet explorer went down, I was also having the problem with yahoo. Now I'm on Mozilla, I have tried downloading yahoo again and again, but it won't let me, boohoo. I really have messed around with this thing, deleted, installed, etc etc. I have msn, but for some reason or another, it tells me i'm not connected to the internet, when I know that I am. Totally wierd, and totally confusing!!!
Oh that's so annoying about yahoo and MSN.Computers are wonderful but can have us tearing our hair out. Totally illogical too!
Sparkling lime poor you with a rotten head, migraines are awful, hope you are a lot better today. It would be great to get out tomorrow, especially if the weather is nice. We had a sprinkling of snow as well but it soon went.
Let's have a smiley campaign. Bring Back Our Smilies!
BRING BACK OUR SMILIES
BRING BACK OUR SMILIES
BRING BACK OUR SMILIES
Hope they heard that one, sparkling!!!!
You could make a special smiley placard and........ok, ok I know you have got enough to do!
Hi Louise
Sparkling can pull it off, she needs something to do when she's lounging in her new pj's!!!!!!!!
Hi pink
I was just wondering how you're doing this week? I hope everything is ok, and you are coping with the work load, and extra lessons.
Thinking of you
Take care
Alison
x
Busy in my pj's!!!!!!!!!!
I could get the Scouts to do them...
Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
Tee hee!!
My son made me laugh he other day, he phoned when I had just got out of the shower, I said I have to go, I am expecting a phone call and am not dressed, he said Mum it is not vision-phone!
Oh Louise, I'm guessing your son thinks you've now completely lost the plot!!!!!!!!
Have had a restful day. Couldn't do any more painting, my back was too bad, and now, my neck has ceased up. I think that could be tension though. I'm soon going to head off to bed as I'm shattered, even though I've done nothing except dinner etc. My son is off to the science museum tomorrow in London, so I really want him to get a good night sleep.
I hope your neighbour is doing ok Sparkling.
Take care all, Louise don't forget to get dressed before you answer your phone!!!!!!!
Alison
x
I hope your son has a fantastic day tomorrow.
Have you tried a hot water bottle for your neck? I'm sorry you're in pain, as I know you've had fun doing the painting.
Hello
Yes, neck is painful. I have one water bottle, so it was going back and forth between back and neck last night! I can honestly say I did have fun painting, butttttttt, I don't want to finish it off now. Oh dear. I would have liked it completed by tomorrow, but if I do some more today, then I think I could possibly be laid up in bed for the weekend. What a dilemma!!!!
C....... is really looking forward to today. Every trip he has I have the run down on it, from the time he enters the school to the time he gets back from the trip. Just about remembered to get some sickness tablets for him. He had one bad experience with me, so since then he won't go on a coach without them!
Hope everything is ok your end.
Take care, and have a good day
Alison
x
Hello alisoncam
Poor you with a painful neck. I got one of those lavender wheat bags ages ago that you heat in the microwave but I can't say that it is any better than a hot water bottle. I don't know if you feel able to do some gentle exercises to keep your back and neck mobile? Only you know what is helping.
Hope your son has a brilliant time on his trip. You will hear every single detail later, lol.
We had yet more snow here last night but it is not deep so am not marooned like I was last time.
What sort of a night's sleep have you had?
Oh no, not the dreaded word again, snow!
Not a good night sleep I'm afraid, It wasn't really because of the back or neck though. Aaagghhhhhhh.
I decided to finish the painting this morning, after a lot of umming and aarrhhing. All done, just got to do the grain thingy tomorrow morning, then all finished. (famous last words)
Couldn't believe my son this morning, but I was delighted. I said goodbye, told him to have a lovely time, and he turned to me and gave me a kiss!!!!!!! What a little darling. Normally, I'm not allowed to show him affection in front of his pals as 'it's embarrassing'.
Had to laugh on the way to school though. Walking along, I told him I loved him, in a normal voice, not talking loudly or shouting. He then said 'sshhh', and looked around. Then in a big voice, he asks, 'so, have I got nits or not'. Hahahaha
Hope you're ok, and hopefully no more of the white stuff!
Take care
Alison
x
Sorry to hear about last night, I was thinking that it might have been hard to sleep with a stiff neck :-(
Your son is very clever...how to embarrass Mum right back again! He will have had a lovely trip, I am sure. You are lucky to be allowed to kiss him. My "allocation" from my 15-year old is one small goodnight peck, as long as the curtains are shut!
Snow melted here, thank heavens.
Well done with the painting. I suppose one way of looking at it is if you have a bad back and neck then there is no point in them getting better just to be in pain again when you do the last bit of painting.
I have finished all of it! I am pleased with the outcome (I think). Just having a hot chocolate, (hope you got some for your son Louise). Not sat down since arrived back from school!!! My lad had a wonderful time, and is very tired after 'all the walking I've done'. Bed soon me thinks, haha
Hope you're having a good night. (don't forget to draw the curtains) Aren't kids funny
I'm so glad that your son had a good day Alison.
Well done for finishing the kitchen. I bet it looks fabulous. I'm so glad you managed it, and really hope your neck isn't too sore this evening.
Haven't stopped today. I actually got to crafts. Its sewing - using a machine. I hate sewing and I'm no good of machines - I'm scared of them! Not as bad as I have been though! lol The company though is great - the main reason I enjoy it. I've also said that I'm not going to worry about not being able to get there.
Eldest has a trip to Liverpool tomorrow. He has to be at the bus stop at 6am for a lift of the teacher. They boy has enough problems getting up at 8am. All of us have had such a laugh over this. I'm sure that the excitement will mean he gets up easily.
The teacher has been really kind and told him not to worry about money at all and that he musn't feel he has to miss a trip because of money. He didn't go on a previous trip because he worried about the cost - he didn't even tell me about it. I emailed the school, so this shows they did read the email!
I have the money though, so he has that in an envelope and spending money too.
Now the fleece he wants to wear has finished in the washing machine I can hang it up to dry and go to bed.
Hope everyone is ok.
xx
Hi Sparkling
Hope your son has a great time in Liverpool. An early start, but sure the trip will be well worth it. Perhaps he can nod off on the journey!!!! Really pleased you're enjoying crafts. I too hated sewing machines. I still cannot sew to this day, yet my Mum used to make our costumes for school plays, do every bit of sewing etc. She was very domesticated too, I'm sure they found me under a bush!!!!!!!
Not had a good sleep. Awake since 4, and asleep about 12. Thank goodness it is Friday. Are you doing anything nice at the weekend? What is everyone else up too?
Take care
Alison
x
We've got no plans for the weekend.
I was up at 5 with the eldest. I was fine then, but as the morning wore on I started to feel ill. Youngest got up feeling ill, but got dressed and had Calpol. Bug going around the school. He's home and we both went back to bed!
I've got so much I need to do though. Just sitting her trying to muster th energy to do it.
Loads of hugs
xxxxxxx
PS Must make a note to get my calculator out when posting :-D Seems I can't add 3 + 5 lol lol lol
Hello sparkling lime,
At least you don't "add two and two together and make five" lol.
Hope your son's trip went really well, what did they go and see? There is a fab Beatles museum there but a bit before his time!
How are you feeling today? There are some really nasty bugs going round at the moment, my poor friend was ill for over a week with one, just hoping I will not get it. You getting up at five o clock yesterday will not have helped. Hope you get some time to relax over the weekend.
That's great news about the crafts, and good idea not to worry about attending every week, I know this has been an issue in the past. Sewing machines, eek, they're scary. Are you working on the craft techniques at the moment or will you make an item?
Hi alisoncam
You should be very proud of youself finishing all that painting. Three cheers for you! Hope that last night's sleep was better than Thursday's, you were up so early, you must have been exhausted last night. I was tired, but not too tired to watch "Pop Star to Opera Star", which satisfies my craving for rubbish reality TV.
I am glad your son enjoyed his trip, with any luck he will be a bit tired too heh heh.
I am going to a garden centre this afternoon, taking a friend who doesn't drive, she loves plants and then we will treat ourselves to a posh coffee in the cafe. I still haven't bought any hot chocolate for my son. What are you up to this weekend, alisoncam?
Hi Louise
I enjoy wandering around garden centres, (in warmer weather though). Thats really kind of you to take your friend :)
I hadn't anything planned, but I received a call last night from the woman I helped last weekend. She said, she will take some stuff for me to the tip. No idea what time that will be, so I'll just have to lounge around waiting!!!! I've done a few bits and pieces this morning, so I can chill for a while.
Have a lovely day, and enjoy the posh coffee.
Take care
Alison
x
Oh well at least you can get rid of your stuff after the big furniture shuffle and kitchen refurb! Hope your friend did manage to help you out.
I quite fancied buying a hyacinth at the garden centre but there weren't any white ones, so I didn't. We had a coffee but it is thick fog here so I was a bit scared driving home.
So I will have to see if there is any terrible telly on tonight. My Mum has lent me an old video of When The Boat Comes In (do you remember that?) so that might be making an appearance. What are you up to?
Wasn't that a series, When The Boat Comes In. Just singing it now!!!!
Stuff has been shifted. I bumped a big tv down my stairs, (must be bonkers) It could easily have toppled on me! I treated myself to a stir-fry, (advertised on tv, a starter kit). OMG, it was soooooooo hot. My son couldn't eat it, and neither could I. I was so looking forward to that too. So, we resorted to pizza and a bit of salad. Not doing anything this evening, just want to relax, and hopefully watch some tv, (if anything on). Once I've done dishes, I shall get pj's on, and curl up. My lad asked to stay up late, midnight!!!! I didn't answer, just laughed. Midnight indeed!
I hope the fog doesn't last long. At least you're in the warm, and safe indoors.
Enjoy the video, and have a lovely evening.
Take care
Alison
x
Hi everyone
Sorry its been a while since I posted. Life is just too hectic at the moment. Teaching has been going pretty badly, had a couple of terrible lessons that have really knocked my confidence and find myself always exhausted. Just another week to go tho til half term, altho have got a 3000 word assignment to write then! My uni tutor is coming to see me at school on Mon, part of a routine visit, altho it will be nerve racking having him observing one of my lessons I hope it will also be quite positive as the school teachers are all very keen to criticise and never acknowledge anything good that I do. Hopefully the tutor might be a bit more balanced in his feedback.
Hope you are all getting along ok, thinking of you all as I'm sat here with a hot chocolate with squirty cream on top and a flake - the height of luxury for us single mums hey?! About to start getting some lesson ideas together for next week...
My ex is behaving appallingly at the mo - long story and don;t want to post the details in case he stumbles across the site and recognises himself - I'm trying to not rise to it and not let it affect me but it is an added strain for me. I can't wait for the summer and my course to be over, the weather to be better, and to have some fun days with my number one boy.
Still getting used to this site - have the rest of you found it gets easier?
take care everyone
x
Hi
I just want to echo what Louise has said. really glad you were able to speak to a fellow colleague on your course and one of your tutors. Take each day at a time and remember the positives - how much you lik being at the front, the holidays! etc etc. And remember we are all behind you cheering you on to our hearts content!
Good luck
C-L