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Well done you on going jogging, I think i would keel over if I even ran round the block, I dont do running!
Hah! The front of my hips are now killing me, and I can hardly walk...
Night night all....
hi mich well done for jogging i have thought about it but that is as far as i have got !! dance for the wil is good hard try zumba that is better ? hope the legs are better? i was like that when i started zumba my legs killed hot soaks in the bath helps :)
Morning shaz5,
Yes, I had soaks in the bath...A little better this morning, but still sore...
I'm waiting for the Tumble Dryer repair man to come round( 9.30am -12pm)...
It's overcast today, and it's reflecting my mood....
How are you today?
A brisk walk would be great come rain or shine Mich! I always think it does you better because when you get home you can have a bath/shower and feel great afterwards! So don't let our English weather dictate whether you exercise or not - fresh air is sooo good for us!
However the WII is good fun too, I am with you there!
Hoola hoops! Ha ha ha! I wish you luck! I bought one for my daughter last summer, oh my! It was soo hard! I couldn't keep it moving! When I was young, me and friends used to play with them for hours - effortlessly. My daughter had never really had a go with one, so I said I would show her, ha ha ha, but I couldn't even get it to go round!!
Its overcast here too, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling blue. How about writing a list while you wait for repair man. A list of all the things you are grateful for/happy about - favourite shoes! fresh sheets! roof over your head! beautiful daughter! How is she doing by the way??
Thanks Anna,
Apparently my friend said that the bigger ones ( hoola-hoops) are easier to use...I HATE the rain though( I must've been a cat in a past life!), so that's why hopefully we can do some indoor excersise then.
Well, now the Sun has come out...I think it might be changeable today...I DO love the Sun though.
My daughter is doing OK I think, although as I might've mentioned, she was watching 'Embarrasing bodies' and convinced herself she had a very nasty illness...( I asked her if she had any symptoms, to which she said 'no'), so I know she is having unfounded irrational fears...which might be a result of all this.....When she was much younger though she had a great fear of Robbers coming into the house...so I don't know...
She still sees and texts her Dad, so it's not like I'm saying that I don't want her to see him, and I am always polite when I talk to him, so I feel it's all I can do at the moment.
I also guess it's difficult for me at the moment because I still feel in 'Limbo', so I think once we can be moved and know that he is sticking to what he says verbally ( and not saying one thing but meaning another), my life will feel more settled. This will also help too when I know what Tax credits I can get and the amounts then I have to budget with.
I also think what's getting me down a bit is the fact that I am getting some physical symptoms from not eating properly with my gut, so I need to see the Dr. next week.
The repair man came and said the motor has gone, so then I had to phone my H to ask him to give me the call out money and help me with a new dryer for the winter...He said that money was short, so I said 'tell me about it'...( I wanted to add' well funny how you can still go out to restaurantes and buy other things', but didn't).He said he might be able to help me get a re-conditioned one next month.
At least the repair man said I was very polite to him....but boy, it made me so upset and I cried afterwards.
Oh Mich I am sorry to hear that you shed a few tears and completely understandable. It sounds as though you held your tongue and although I am sure you want to let rip, give yourself a pat on the back.
You are going through a remarkable amount at the moment, so the fact that you are still just about holding everything together is good. Albeit scary at the moment, as you say, once housing and income gets sorted you will feel more balanced.
I love the sun too, do you fancy running away together to the south of spain or something! We could get a lovely house with vineyards and pool and invite One Spacers over for holidays!!
Oh Anna thank you!( And yes, wouldn't that be fantastic?)...
I've been on here for hours it seems, reading different posts...I'm starting to feel 'clingy' to this place..but boy, I've realised how much I can actually 'chat' online...( I wish I was this chatty in 'Real life')....
I also need to go and eat something now ( I did manage two Jaffa cakes earlier at least).
We are here for as long as you need us, so don't feel bad, as long as you don't neglect your motherly duties, its fine. We can help you through this phase and then you will move on. That is my experience of others on these boards, it can take a few weeks or perhaps a couple of years. However it won't be forever!
I hope you made something good to eat and you sat down and savoured and enjoyed every mouthful. Remember you are a role model to your daughter and I'm afraid to say, how you handle your emotions at this stage, will subconsciously feed into her. Therefore you have to keep eating and looking after yourself.
Please tell me you ate more than another 2 jaffas! 
Thanks Anna...Yes you are right.I am keeping it together in front of my daughter and keeping up with Motherly duties ok...I'm being very polite to her father and still encouraging her to see him when he and she can, so for me that is a great achievement at least...
I just can't really bring myself to eat that much at the moment though...I'm sorry, it's just how it is...
How's everyone else this evening?
Hi Mich
It is hard to eat if you really dont feel like it! I lost quite a bit of weight when me and my ex first split as I just couldnt eat. I have put it all back on now though!I'm sure that everything feels like a complete uphill struggle for you, you just have to take things one day at a time. It is a big achievement that you are encouraging your daughter to see her Dad, I know it must be really tough for you, but you just have to tell yourself that it isnt your daughters fault and she must feel torn.
I find it tough when my 4 yr old gets upset, saying he doesnt want to see his Dad, it would make my life easier if he didnt see him but I have to try and encourage him and tell him what a nice time he will have!
You are doing a fab job and we all have good and bad days x
Morning Mich
Hope you're not too stiff today, you did fantastically with the jogging. But you need fuel for the exercise so have a think about what you could manage foodwise. Bananas are great, but was it you that said you didn't like them? a milky drink or an egg would give you some protein, maybe with a piece of toast. Don't put yourself off by making a whole meal, just a little snack. When my friend's partner died, he would go to infinite trouble cooking himself a meal and then think YUK and throw it in the bin. Maybe your GP will suggest a tonic or something?
I agree with what you said about being in Limbo, it is hard to feel you are moving forward with so many things in the air, but you are moving forward, I can see it already 
I had clean sheets as well last night, love them, wouldn't it be nice to have those every day??
Thanks so much sam.W and louise...I really appreciate your support...Yes, I still feel stiff, but am supposed to be meeting my friend again at the park later on. It's very drizzly here on and off, but dry at the moment, so not sure if we are going regardless or what just yet.
Yes sam.W, and she is going to his place tomorrow for a takeaway...I think too, it's because all my electrical appliances seem to be going on the blink at once, like my computer monitor, tumble dryer, and my boiler is playing up too( losing pressure very quickly), so that will be the next thing....It's like I keep trying to keep my head above water, but it's so hard, when other things seem against you too.
This morning I did eat a banana and half a roll with strawberry jam, now feel a bit sick...but will eat little bits at a time like you suggest Louise.
I am still trying to keep busy, and have another friend coming this afternoon. Tomorrow and Friday I am working,Saturday afternoon I am going to one of the meetup group things I joined...Monday I am meeting the single Mum I met the other week again, so at least I have few days sorted.
* Edit* Well not going to the park today, as my friend has got held up on a school outing, so we have rescheduled for sat morning...
Try and get a breath of fresh air anyway, Mich. You did well with your breakfast
Hi Mich, yes you did do well with breakfast, little and often is what people say.
You are still in such early days of the breakup of your relationship, don't expect miracles from yourself. You are doing lots to move forward, I am glad you have a few plans for the next couple of days or so.
Your message yesterday made me nod my head! Why is it that as soon as we split up from our partners all the electrical things break, I have heard it time and time again -very odd. But maybe it is to test us and also teach us that we can do all those things, it is all part of the very steep learning curve that we have to venture on!
Just out of interest what is your favourite food?
Evening Louise and Anna...
Yes, it's strange about the electrical appliances isn't it?
My favourite food is Chinese and Thai....but I've also had a garlic sausage slice roll as well.....( smelly but who cares LOL)
A fiend came round this afternoon, and gave me some very good advice as she has gone through this as well...
So now my plan is to go to Mediation( even though my H said we don't have issues), I will put it to him that it will help to get things sorted so we can see what is what, and we can make a list of what will be split, and it will also mean that our daughter can feel more secure too. Then to try and tidy up the house and bag stuff up( I did actually manage a little bit today), and then put the house on the market for January if he is in agreement as well...
At least it is a plan to be going on with, as I felt a bit stuck....
Oh well, off to pick my daughter up from her friend's house...
How's everyone else this evening?
hi mich hope u are well ? that is my dread whenthings break down as my ex knew how to repair things are well i will have to cross that when it comes to it .
im luckily in away as causemy ex did what he did i dont have to go to mediation so im glad as i dont think my ex would have shown . its a shem we dont live near we could have had a chinese take out my fav too take care xx
Hi Mich
Yes it does sound like a plan, and maybe what appeals to you about it is it feels like taking control, and not just being in the linmob that is to hard to live with.
Remember, just eat some little bits to keep you going, whatever you fancy
Hi Mich, I am so glad your friend helped you back onto the straight and narrow. I think you said before that your ex isn't interested in going to Mediation, so be ready for a knock back.
How about buying a Thai curry paste and fry up some veg, add coconut milk and boil some rice. Simple but so very satisfying! Also its not heavy so you can eat just a little bit and not feel weighed down by food.
Does your daughter like Thai too?
Evening ladies.....I've been working today, and feel quite tired tonight...( on my feet all day at work).
Well yesterday and today I have felt ok,( which is SO good to feel)....My H has taken my daughter round to his place for a takeaway.....
Shaz 5, yes, I know and they all seem to go at once when they do.Oh that would be so lovely if we were and could...
Louise, yes it could be...I don't know but it's like if I have a plan my head doesn't feel so muddled...Yes will do.
Anna,yes I did say that, and you're right....I am prepared for that, but as he will be over on 1st Oct to help clear out the loft or garage, I will put it to him in as nice a way as possible, that I think we all need to know exactly where we are, and it will be helpful to our daughter too, to make her feel more settled.
That food sounds a good idea too......thanks for the suggestion...I fancy using chicken and courgettes I think.
How is everyone else tonight?
hi mich hope u ok i have still got things of my ex here too . things in the loft and the shed is full but im not able to get him to move it yet as the bail but i have pushed thenm to the back of the loft or cupboard so i dont see them but the shed i cant so unless im doing the garden i try not to go in there . never tried thai may give it ago
It's hard if their stuff is still around.
Shaz5 is it possible at least to get the stuff into boxes and black bags so it is good to go? It would be even better if you had someone neutral who could pick it up for him.
You can only do your best about the mediation, Mich, and ask him. Glad you have had a couple of better days.
Thai food is lovely and a lot lighter than Chinese, the sauces sometimes have coconut in them but you can also get a jar of curry sauce if you don't like coconut. The curry sauces are not hot, but lots of spices.
Thanks Shaz 5 and Louise....
Yes, it's horrible having their stuff around...
You're right Louise, all I can do is ask him nicely.I'll let you know how that goes.
I'm doing the late tonight at work until 7pm, so might see you all later...
At least it is sunny here at the mo....I did have a slight anxiety attack when I woke this morning, just worrying about money and bills etc. in the future....but feeling calmer now......still listening to my CD every night too..
I hope you have a good day at work today Mich, the weather is lovely here too. Glad you are feeling a little better Fingers crossed with mediation.
I too lurve Thai food. shaz 5 you should definitely try it. I prefer the pastes that you buy and stir in while the veggies are cooking rather than the sauce, I think it tastes more authentic, but each to their own 
Evening Anna, well I do feel quite tired now, so might have an earlyish night...I have to take my daughter to her friend's house to saty over, then her friend is staying here tomorrow...
Evening all....Well I went to the Meetup group yesterday, and met some nice people there...
Today I have had a down day of feeling lonely and sad...so not so good. BUT at least the two previous days weren't so bad, so that is something I suppose.
My daughter told me that she is supposed to be going into town on 8th with my husband and his new woman ( the first time she will meet her), and that made me feel awful too....I asked her if she was ok with all this, and she said yes, so not much I can say really...So yes, I feel really sad.
Hi mich. So sorry you're feeling sad tonight, but totally understandable. Try not to dwell on your daughter meeting this lady though. It will only bring you down further, and there's nothing you can do about it anyway. Harsh that may sound, I'm sorry if it does.
Your tumble drier and monitor. Have you checked out Freecycle site. You might be able to pick something up from there, it's totally free too.
Thank you hazeleyes...of course you are right....I know I can't but it hurts nonetheless doesn't it? ( as it's only about six weeks since this all happened)...so no doesn't sound harsh, it just ...'is' what it is...
I will have a look at Freecycle too, so thanks for that...( I am using an old monitor that he left here anyway for now which will do me)....
Hugs xx
hi mich hope you feeling better ? try not to think of it as his new women try to see it as a friend or try not to think of it go off and do something for the day to take your mind off it. or you could picture her as a green monster lol
well i saw mine ex new bit friday nite and i can say im no oil painting but least the pic on facebook does do her a favour!!! : 0 my ex took the kids to the park three weeks before i found out about the affair but told the kids it was a mommy he was talking too now that has had a affect on them the big one really hates her things they do and they dont see what they are doing or have done that they have caused any trouble!! hugs xx
Hi Mich,
I love shaz5's post about the green monster, lol. Actually I had an experience which might help. It wasn't re the father of my children but another relationship afterwards, which lasted three years on and off. He eventually had another woman in tow and I built up all sorts of pictures about her. At the time, my ex husband stopped paying child supprt so I ended up with an evening job as well as a daytime one...in this evening job I happened to meet this "other woman". Whilst this felt like being hit with a thunderbolt, I saw that she was a perfectly nice woman and as much a victim of this man as I was.
Now when children are involved of course it is a completely different kettle of fish, and I know that is the upsetting bit but what I am saying is that not everything is black and white.
Mich, your daughter has quite a hurdle to face in meeting this woman and all you can do is be strong and not give her the impression she can't talk about it for fear of upsetting you (of course it will but she needs to be able to do it 
)
Hope you have a better day, are you working or will you get out for a walk as the weather is supposed to be better.
Thanks shaz5 and Louise....
I didn't say anything to my daughter other than the fact that as long as she was alright with seeing her, that was ok....( I know I can't do or say anything here)...plus I can't see this woman as a victim because after all she went out with him 25 years ago and went off with his best mate, and knows he is married to me, and so has the same lack of integrity and low morals that he has( so in fact they are well suited).
I was thinking about their relationship actually, and however long it lasts, it won't ever be a great relationship because they are both cheaters, so as far as I'm concerned, you can't build any relationship on that, that will have any solid foundations...
I felt physically sick this morning( I tried to eat a crumpet and banana but couldn't finish it all)...but that feeling has subsided a little now, and at 1 o'clock I am meeting the single Mum I met the other week again in town for a coffee...
I'm working Thursday and Friday this week Louise...( my two days change each week though, which is a bit hard to keep up with).
I think I'm just feeling panicky about how I'm going to cope with bills and such in the future, and have no pension to speak of but contracted out of SERPS....so I feel a bit lost....If I knew I would be able to at least manage and feel safe....that would help me a great deal...I know it's insecure worry, but I can't help it....also the fact that i will have to see him this Saturday when he said he will come over to help clear the garage, and I will have to talk about going to mediation again....things just feel a bit on top of me at the moment...
I really do appreciate the support you give me hear though, so thank you so much...x
Hi mich it is an horrible time when you have to face them and know you have to make conversation i feel wound up and sick every saturday when my ex picks the kids up, i have learnt though to keep conversation about the kids. As for your daughter meeting his new bit it is going to be very hard for you but your daughter will/is no doubt very curious to how her dad is living, i remember in my first relationship when we boke up my ex couldnt wait to rub my nose in the fact hes got someone new a week after he left me (which suggested to me he was seeing her before he left) as he asked when could he take our son out with her at the time i was bitter and said not yet and it just resulted in him not seeing his son for a long time over my bitterness. I eventually gave in as i didnt want my son to lose contact with his dad but it hurt so bad and he was only 3 yrs old so couldnt ask him what she was like and was she nice to him. She even use to pull up outside the house right outside my window to drop him off which really did annoy me.
It does get easier especially when you see that the kids are not really bothered whether this woman is there or not they just want to see their dad!!!
thinking of you xxx
Thanks so much for that trying hard...yes you are right...I suppose too it's because he's left me for her anyway, and it's still early days....but yes, I hear what you are saying....
Trouble is because he has painted her out to be so wonderful (and she is very rich etc.) it probably all sounds so glamourous to my daughter...I suppose it's just crushing my confidence...
Yes, I can totally understand that. Don't forget that some of it won't be real, though. I also understand why you can't see her as a victim, but I am glad to see that you are not just blaming her, but him as well!! What I am saying though is if he can be unfaithful to you then he could also do it to her.
Hope you enjoyed meeting your new friend, you have a couple of days at home before your busy days at work.
Try and eat a little tonight, even though the thought of Saturday is horrid
Evening Louise, no in fact as I mentioned earlier their relationship isn't founded on solid ground, so however long it lasts it won't ever be totally fulfilling, and he won't have a supportive partner watching his back, he'll have to look out for himself...
Talking of the devil...he phoned earlier as he had to go to the dentist, and wanted to come and get a phone charger. So he turned up, and asked my daughter to go and get it for him, and she replied that he could get it himself. He saw all the black bin bags( as my daughter and I managed to clear out her room and cupboards), and he made a remark about them.My daughter had changed her room around and asked what he thought, and instead of just saying "Yes it looks really good", he made some comment about the fact that she had changed it, but as long as she thought it was ok, but in a really derogatory way...which actually made her quite upset...I mentioned Mediation again to him, saying that we should really go, and this time he went along with it, so don't know if it was because our daughter might've been listening, or maybe his new woman has said something...not sure, but good anyway...then he nearly landed himself in it, and had to check himself, because after I told him, we had lost the window of opportunity to sell the house before Xmas, and so should put it on the market in January, he nearly said something about before moving in with her, but stopped and said he'd have to stay in his bedsit a while.
He also looked like he had lost some weight, and quite 'jowly' to me, which made him look older..Then he said that he had to go as he had more work to do..( don't know why he was telling me this).
In the afternoon, I met up with my new friend, and the stories she was telling me about some of the men she'd been out with did actually make me laugh...and I haven't laughed like that for a long time...so it was lovely....Just a shame he came round when I got back to put a dampner on it...
Hi Mich
Sorry you are feeling down at the min. It is perfectly understandable to feel bitter and to not want your daughter to meet this woman. I felt the same about my kids meeting my exes gf, I hated the fact that she was spending time with my kids and my husband playing "happy families" I found the worst thing to do when they were away was to think about it. I used to try and plan things for the weekends they were away, even if it was just catching up with a friend.
A few months after we split, my ex's sister invited me to her daughters christening, i still get on really well with her and did debate going to the christening as i felt that I had more of a right to be there than his gf did. The sensible part of me decided against it and also it would have been difficult for the kids. I knew I would feel down that day so I arranged to meet up with an old schoolfriend in Bournemouth for the day.
I found it very therapetic sorting out all my exes stuff, every weekend he came back, he had another few bags of things to take with him. I also found buying a few new bits for the house helped. I know it is difficult to afford things, but I found even just getting new cushion covers and new pictures helped.
It is a worry about affording things, I sat down and worked out a budget taking into account my outgoings to work out what I can afford. I know you work, but have you checked that you are claiming everything you can? I only found out a few months ago that I am entitled to housing benefit
Take care
hi mich yes my ex as lost weight when i did see him he did keep saying to me did i think he looked fab hows to how much weight he had lost i just said well it aint through stress you lost it !! he didnt like that . afew friends have seen him around and they say that he looks older more haggered my reply is well he chose this and nothing to do with me
i have not come to that point yet where my kids have to see her as he still cant see them , well he can but cant find a third party or he as not tired hard enough . thats why he coming to the gingerbread club each fri so for abit he sees the kids but doesnt get it that he is upsetting them. they have seen her before we found out about the affair but both are sure they dont ever want to see her or have anything to do with her well i have to cross that bridge when i get to it got away yet to go before that , i know that my eldest would just either play up be nasty or he would run away to phone me he as told me over and over again.
yes i agree with sam it was nice to pack his things up sepcially his clothes . i threw that at him he wanted me to fold them and put them in a suitcase . well i said on your bike you are getting black bags and thank yourself lucky that they were not smart prices ones . when the one broke he asked for another no i replied they cost and i cant afford it . he did say to me when i did this that he didnt think i would do that he really believed that i would fold them up in a case lol well socks didnt match tops were screwed up old pants were put in that i had throw out i got them out and his washing that he had put in the washing basket i got out and added . if i could have gotten itching powder then i would have added that too evil i know but it would have been fun . even better that i have thrown things away or even done carboots and sold things he wouldnt remember what he had and he dont give me any money towards the kids so they need things is my answer .
yes its finding that we are getting the right benefits i have just been told that i cant get income support any more after 19 oct as my son will be 7 so i may have to go on job seekers i have interview well i do then they say i have to phone so i have kept the interview to get it sorted and then they have dropped my money now i get £8.00 aless and they have just said that is what im allowed . i just got told that the kids can have free school meals which i have not yet done as im used to them having sandwiches i did find it hard trying to get their school uniforms but we do things i think its a case have having too
take care
Thanks for your lovely support Sam.W and shaz5....
Well last night and this morning have been horrible.....Last night my daughter must have clicked on a bad site and she thinks she has a virus, so she phoned my husband, who said that he couldn't come round until Saturday as he was busy working...so she threw a bit of a fit at him and put the phone down. he texted her and said that he was very angry with her putting the phone down on him and she could say sorry to him. She texted back that she was sorry that she had an uncaring Dad...( this morning he texted that what she said was harsh and unwarranted). So I had to spend the morning before school trying to explain that she should just apologise and he loved her etc.etc. She then had a go at me saying that I was sticking up for him( GOD I felt awful!)...I tried to explain that we both loved her and tried to smooth it over, but it's upset me so much and I've been crying....I ended up saying that I didn't have all the answers for her, but she should sort it out with him, and that they would make up...
As she was cross she started to say a bit more about when she's wth him, he says he hasn't got any money, but then tells her how they( him and his new woman) both go to exhibitions and the Cinema,and the other week he bought her( my daughter) an expensive top, but then said that it cost so much that they could only have a takeaway...plus she is upset that he's not texting her daily...it was all so painful to hear, but I was trying to say that he must be very busy with work at the moment, and also that it was going to take a bit of time for things to settle down with him and his new woman as it was all new and exciting for them at the moment....She then turned round and said that he obviously had more time for his new woman than her....
Any advice on what I can say to help her....please? Or do you think I should ring him to tell him to give her a bit of leeway?
Hi Mich
What a morning.
When I was reading your messages from earlier, where you were saying about how uncomfortable you felt that your daughter was meeting the 'new' woman. I was thinking how difficult all this was for your daughter.
She will want her dad to love and be there the same way has he has always been and now there is someone new she is going to have to share this love. She is going to see the new girlfriend as the apple of his eye and it will hurt her. She will see the attention he gives the girlfriend and it sounds as though she is already angry with him. She has been rejected too in all of this.
I understand you covering for your ex, but actually their relationship is now none of your business. You have to be there to support your daughter in her decisions, but you don't need to cover for him. He has made his bed and has to lie in it. I think it is natural that we do this because we want our children to have a 'lovely' dad, however, I covered for my daughters father for a long time and I feel that I made a mistake with that. She had to see him for who he really was.
Your daughter is a young woman now and it is important that she learns what is acceptable behaviour and what is not, so that when she is choosing future partners she doesn't accept anything less than what she wants. She was angry with her dad, why should she have to back down? It might have been a bit childish to hang up on him, but she is confused and learning to deal with her emotions, but to apologise just to make him feel better is not cool. He needs to be the father and talk to her about it, not just demand an apology.
When you talk to her you can say that she has every right to feel angry, let down and pushed to the side because of this new relationship. You can say that hanging up on him, because she couldn't get what she wanted, probably wasn't the best way to deal with it., but that she needs to talk to him about how abandoned she felt by him. If he hears her and recognises that he let her down, then she can apologise for her behaviour.
I imagine she is thinking, he hasn't apologised to me for leaving me, so why should I apologise to him?
I have said to my daughter that I expected her dad to be there for her and I am sad that he has behaved the way he has. You can also say that you were disappointed in the way he spoke about her room and you think it looks great.
You ask if you should ring him. Do you think this would help? Would he listen? If you think that you are going to be able to parent effectively separately, then you definitely should, however if you are not sure, I would save all your efforts in supporting your daughter and let him work it out for himself.
Hmm, long post. What I see as important here is building your home, family and inner strength, you and your daughter have got each other and your relationship with her will bear you the most fruit. Work on sharing stuff together and building your bond. You have both been let down and you are in this together.
There are good days and bad days, you need to be strong, now have you eaten today? If not, I want you to make a conscious effort to decide to
Hi Mich. I absolutely agree with Anna. Your ex has hurt your daughter too, has he apologised to her? I think you were great in what you said to her this morning, you didn't bad mouth him (even though you probably wanted too). Stay strong for you and your daughter, you're doing a great job. Now, head off to the kitchen and eat!!! She needs you strong and healthy xx
Thank you so much Anna and hazeleyes....your words and support are totally invaluable to me....When she gets home from school I will see if they have texted each other, and say what you suggest if not...
A friend took me to coffee which was lovely, so I managed to feel a bit better....
I've had a banana today, and will eat something a bit later too...I'm making sure I drink lots of water and fruit juice...I just can't eat a lot at the moment, but am getting there...and eating at least something in the morning and a small meal later with a couple of things inbetween.
Hugs to you xx
Good good well done Mich, small steps at the moment, I am glad to see that you are making the effort with food, it is so important.
Good luck with your daughter, if she isn't in the mood for talking about it, leave it till the next time. Or just pull her to you and said something today made me realise just how much hurt you must be going through. Or perhaps get her a little bunch of flowers and give them to her saying something along those lines.
Hope your evening continues to keep getting better
Thank you Anna.....well, I think they texted each other...but she's saying that she's lost her pictures and I tunes..I said that he is coming over Thursday to try and fix it for her...I know he can re-install things....but she's not happy and shouting at him again...and putting the phone down on him, as she is upset...I spoke to him on the phone to try and calm things down a bit, and told him she was upset about losing her pictures and such........Now she's gone out for a jog she said..I said to her before she went that I could give her a hug or make her a cup of tea etc.....I think she's upset as well because she says she only went on a lyric site to get some lyrics but it looks as if that was the one to do this....
*Edit* She came back in and spoke to him again, and at the end said "love you too"...so guess it's all ok again......until the next time...( still I suppose at least she is expressing herself, and getting it out of her system).
Ah yes, until the next time...
None of it is easy.
Hope you're ok. xx
Thanks sparkling...yes, not quite so bad tonight,( hah probably because I'm feeling tired, and that overrides feeling crappy)...
So I'm off to bed with Paul McKenna...Night night all xx
hi mich yes at times we forget that they are hurting too and they seem to bottle it up and we think they are coping till something goes wrong then they let it out . i know i forgot that it is not just me going through this but my 2 sons are too . the eldest as gone to being the man of the house and wont go to bed till i go so i tend to go up with him and stay in bed watching tv it makes him feel calmer at the min.
i know when the tv went over they were getting upset as they thought they had done something wrong :( and i didnt have a clue what to do so i asked a neighbour to help but they got all angry . its hard as i say i love them each day and they can always talk to me and i give cuddles but there are times when i need one andthere is noone .
i can remember when my ex was coming i would text him to say our son was not good or in a mood so tread careful but he would in and if he said hello then ex would look at me and say what is wrong ???? that got me mad as then i would say to the kids why you do that you told me how you were then when he coems you act like nothing wrong i wished my sons had expressed how they felt then he may have seen it for himself not like now thinking i have done this to them and said things to them to twsit it.
i took steps with my boys talked if they wanted or just sat there with them hugged if they wanted its hard as you want to hold on to them all the time but they may not want it me i would let her vent her emotions out towards to your ex , if mine did them i let them as they have to see what they are putting them through and that it is not all one sided but then thats me . kids have emotions that have to be vented too but it is that fine line again and it always boil down to us picking up the pieces hope it goes ok thursday could you try to be in another room while they are doing that so if she wants to vent out you are not there but close by?
its hard as we want to protect them and yet still tell them to have manners too god wish there was a book to help and guide us through things like this should teach life lessons at school hope u ok and feeling ok stay strong x
Of course we want to protect them, that's the natural thing. But I do think it is a question of the age of the child and your daughter, Mich, is quite grown up now and can see things with her own eyes.
I endorse the long post Anna sent to you, I think that is a fab overview of the situation. It is one thing being civilised about your ex and quite another to feel responsible for them and my own feeling is that if you got involved with phoning him etc then it is almost as if YOU are taking responsiblity for solving it when in fact it is up to the two of them but especially him, as the adult
Thanks so much ladies for your advice....You are right...and Shaz 5, I agree with what you say too...that they might be in a bad mood or say something to you, but then not to your ex....
Sorry I haven't been on earlier...I couldn't get the site to load properly...
I didn't feel too good this morning, but got the washing out, and took some bags to the Tip...I also cleared out the understairs cupboard...
I am working tomorrow and Friday...then H is over Saturday afternoon( he said 1pm), I am leaving at 3pm to help a friend....so hopefully not too long, and another friend is coming over( he seemed a bit perplexed at this) tough though...
Hi Mich
Sorry yesterday did not start out too well but you made some positive achievements, which was great. Sounds good that you have got some plans for Saturday too! Hope your day at work goes well.
Thanks Anna, hahaha yes, I only usually talk about it too. I think it's because I actually hate jogging( it makes me feel quite ill, and I go VERY red in the face like a tomato)...although we said we'd meet up again wednesday afternoon before end of school to go brisk walking( I said I won't do that in the rain, so we are thinking of doing the Wii dance or Kinect dance thing if that happens, and I'm going to try and get a cheap hoola hoop off ebay)....yes you are right, it's true about the anxiety and depression...but every night I am still listening to Paul McKenna's CD...
I can't wait to get into bed tonight...I brought them in from the washing line and they are draped over the chairs at the mo, and smell lovely and fresh...
Off to go shopping soon..