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hi mich hope you ok have a good weekend
sparklinglime hope they sort your ceiling out
I'm paying for that. I'll probably end up paying for the living room too (I have printed off the budget loan form) just to be able to paint it. This just isn't a home anymore, and hasn't been for over 5 months.
I'm so disgusted with the HA but I don't want further dealings with them now.
Morning...I got home late-ish yesterday from work, and H was here to fix daughter's computer...I stayed downstairs to have dinner with my daughter, and at one point he came in going on about all the bin bags in his old office room, and where were the discs for the computer?...I asked him why he was shouting at me, to which he replied that he wasn't but needed the discs...I was very calm and told him that they were where he had left them as I hadn't moved them, and wouldn't throw out anything without his scrutiny first...( He obviously found them because he fixed her computer). I then just went up to bed to read, so had nothing more to do with him....
I have to say for someone who has supposed to have now found happiness etc.He didn't seem to be a very happy person to me...In fact it just highlighted to me how he really is....bad tempered and bossy....
I know i feel very lonely and alone sometimes, but I think I am starting to realise that it's just the fact that I would love someone to love me, and I know that is definitely not him.It's the loss of a relationship I miss, and not so much him as a person. Does this make sense?
Anyway, off to work again now, and doing the late....I'll try and get on later if I can...
I know what you mean about the ceiling sparkling, a big chunk has come away in my kitchen...I need to try and fix it I suppose....
You did well to stay calm yesterday...
I do hope you have a good day today.
Well done about the way you handled it, Mich, and yes it makes perfect sense about the missing being in a relationship feeling.I reckon it is better to be reasonably happy on your own than unhappy with someone else 
Thanks sparkling and Louise.....Yes, I am now waiting for him to come over at 1 O'clock..( feels a bit like I'm waiting to go to the Dentist so he can pull a tooth out)..but at least my friend is coming over too, and then I'm off at 3 O'clock to help another friend...so only have to be with him for 2 hours....
I feel so emotionally tired with all the worry about Mediation and finances and all the rest of it, that I feel I'm sticking my head in the sand about it all now..( but there again, if I can't even get the house on the market now until Jan, it's not so crucial to keep things moving I think)...I just feel I need a break from it all...Someone said to me that you just sometimes want someone to give you a hug and say it will all be alright, and take over from you...but it's like you just have to keep battling on, on your own....it just gets to you sometimes,and mornings seem the worst for me at the moment...trying to get out of bed, although I don't actually want to stay in bed either..It's just that 'thinking' time..... and then I think of all the poor people worse off than me ( who also might have an illness to deal with, and it makes me feel awful too, that I'm just moaning when they are far worse off.)
Oh, and also my kettle lid broke....and I still haven't had my tax credits claim processed yet...
I love this weather we're having...just wish I could enjoy it under better circumstances..I just want to get to the 'just feeling reasonable' alright now Louise...
That sounds like a good goal.
Hope "the visit" went Ok. Don't feel guilty that there may be others in different/worse situations, we all have our own sorrows and no-one is more entitled to anyone else to grieve.
re the kettle lid, last thing you need. Haven't you had any news from the Tax Credits people? that's awful.
Hope you got out to your friend's house OK
hope is all ok.
xx
hi hope the visit went ok ? im dreading that time when mine can see their dad least the last 2 fridays when i went to gingerbread and i saw him i felt nothing .
hope you hear soon about your tax credits ? i got to go for another interview over my income support as my youngest will be 7 then and they say it has to stop im not looking forward to that as what will happen then ? all this added worry on top of what as happened to us is not fair
hi hope the visit went ok ? im dreading that time when mine can see their dad least the last 2 fridays when i went to gingerbread and i saw him i felt nothing .
hope you hear soon about your tax credits ? i got to go for another interview over my income support as my youngest will be 7 then and they say it has to stop im not looking forward to that as what will happen then ? all this added worry on top of what as happened to us is not fair
Evening ladies...
Ok well....my friend came over at noon, and he(H) was coming at 1pm....My friend and I managed to sort a lot of stuff out and we waited for him...he arrived at 1.45pm...He then said to me that we didn't need to get rid of this and that, and put over half of it back in, he also mowed the lawn for me as the mower needed more petrol.....We then went into the kitchen, and he proceeded to chat to me like I was his best mate, saying that he understood that this was all of his doing, so he would have to wear the hair shirt...and he wanted my daughter and I to have a nice flat etc.etc.and he would try and do what he could for us...
Well a complete turnaraound in attitude...he also mentioned about the money he would give to support my daughter ( like he was doing me a big favour, but in fact would have to pay something like this for CS anyway)...but he said we should be amicable blah, blah
Now after that I had had enough of being with him, as I now didn't know what to think...and told him he could easily change his mind, so I DID worry about all this...but I also know that IF he sticks to what he is saying it WILL make things much easier for me to cope with...but between you and me, I don't know if I can trust him on this...
Anyway I had to go to my friend's and he took some of the stuff to the Tip...
Sunday morning my daughter and I were up early, to do the car Boot....we split the takings between us which weren't too bad...and so at least had a bit of a clear out...( when I do the Loft there will probably be more stuff for another one )...
So basically...last time he came over on Saturday he was talking to me like I was his best mate...and now I don't know what to think about if he will be true to his word on not( whether I can trust what he is saying)...So now feel emotionally exhausted...
Working tomorrow though...Oh and have heard from the Tax credits( gawd what a long winded letter three pages long)...they're paying a bit, then every four weeks so much...but they take your earnings from last year, but this year I've had a very slight pay rise, so maybe need to call them again, as I don't want to owe them money, and need to ask what happens if work wants me to do overtime...
Also tonight our street had a powercut for an hour...but at least it's on now...
Sorry for the long post only I don't know whether to believe what he is saying or not...
I'm glad he was amicable. It would be ok if it lasted...
I was able to talk to The Git for the first year or so, and it does make things easier.
I hope work goes well tomorrow.
hi i know what you mean when they are all nice mine was like that too till he hit me then he would still be like that at odd moments but mine was you be nice to me and stya quite and il pay the bills and the house . like i was going to be quite after what he did yes it would be nice to stay friends for the kids but then they have to sit down and talk and mine was not willing to do that
hope your carboot went well and you made abit the weather was nice for one hope you have a good day
hi i know what you mean when they are all nice mine was like that too till he hit me then he would still be like that at odd moments but mine was you be nice to me and stya quite and il pay the bills and the house . like i was going to be quite after what he did yes it would be nice to stay friends for the kids but then they have to sit down and talk and mine was not willing to do that
hope your carboot went well and you made abit the weather was nice for one hope you have a good day
Glad you got throught the stress of seeing him, and let's hope he sticks to his word.
Re Tax Credits, at the end of each tax year they send you a form to fiill in with your actual income and then a statement and if you have been slightly overpaid then they knock it off next yeat. That is ok until you get to the last year you get the benefit and then they ask for the overpayment for that last year, my friend's was £300 but they agreed for her to pay £30 a month. Anyway what I am saying is it probably ok this year given that your rise is only small and you may only get occasional overtime, plus don't forget we are already halfway through this tax year
Hi Mich, how did the garage clearing go?
Thanks for that Louise....ok well, I'll leave calling them for now...
Yes Shaz 5 and sparkling...who knows...he could be back to his grumpy self next time...plus actiona speak louder than words, and still no mention of a tumble dryer...
It's weird because on one count it's garder emotionally to cope with them being 'nice' but easier if you think they will stick to what they say, as it will make things smoother...
I mentioned about it in my last post Anna.....he basically was 'nice' and was chatting to me like I was his best mate...very weird, but I'd had enough of him by an hour's time with him as it was stressful...
I was feeling a bit down today, but tried to clear out a bit more...then phoned some friends and came here too....* still trying to find that chink of light*
How is everyone else feeling today?
Hi Mich, don't know how, but I managed to completely miss your long post about the visit with your ex, I must have got interrupted! Silly me!
sorry to hear you were feeling blue at lunchtime. How are you feeling now? Did speaking with your friends pick you up a bit?
No worries...I know your busy with other issues too....
Yes thank you though, it really did help...I feel much better tonight...
Tomorrow I have a Dr. appointment in the morning, and in the evening a School meeting about my daughter's trip...then afterwards H is taking her out, and I am having some people over from the Lone parent group for a few drinks and nibbles...so nice to meet new people too.
Hi Mich, I would agree that it is harder when they are being "nice", I am normally very wary when my ex starts being nice. It is almost upsetting in a way that they start being nice after you have split up. My ex also tried to act like we are best mates now, which is very bizarre!
Good luck at the doctor's, Mich and also I am delighted to hear that you are hosting a little get together. Hope it goes splendidly, and good for you, for organising it!
hope all goes well with your get together . me too i got a meeting at my sons school for his trip . hope all goes well at the docs x
Morning all....well feeling very low atm, because after seeing the Dr. I now have to go for a blood test...and so I don't think I can handle it if there is something wrong now with my health too on top of everything else!...I've been crying this morning....
Aw Mich what are they testing for? anaemia? thyroid?
Well, don't know how much to say here( but a week or so ago, I had some bleeding when I went to the Loo)...That's as about as delicate as I can put it...so of course I'm thinking it's probably not good, as she didn't think it was hemorrhoids...
Ah I see, oh poor you what a horrible worry. Of course I can tell you there are lots of other things it can be (especially if it's red blood) but that isn't going to stop you worrying. I think a VERY big batch of hugs is called for 
Hope you still enjoy the evening with your friends and good for you, going to the doctor, best to get things sorted asap.
Hugs from me too.
I hope you enjoy your evening.
xx
bigs from me too mich easy said then done but try not to think of anything yet take each day as it comes and deal with that day only for now hun x
hope your evening went well x
Hi Mich
How are you this morning? When do you go for your tests? How did the evening go?
Thank you so much for your support Louise, sparkling and shaz5...all hugs greatly appreciated.
The evening was good actually...very nice people...then Thursday ( today) I've been working......
I go for the blood test tomorrow morning Louise..* WARNING-Don't read if easily put off.....*
( and yes it was red blood), but a worry nonetheless...I went to one Dr. a couple of years back, and then he said I did have hemorrhoids, but I also had to have an endoscopy( that didn't really work well), but the other Dr. just said I needed to eat more fiber...so I used to drink fibergel to try to keep them at bay..but it's never really been right though..( sorry if this is too much info)
I think it's just getting all on top of me right now...I was trying so hard to cope with the relationship crap, and now this....I feel emotionally exhausted...and I didn't sleep well last night either....
Your kind words mean so much to me though ladies...thank you all very much xx
Hi Mich. Sorry I've missed so many of your posts on this thread, and not been on here to support you. Feel bad 
Am glad you had a great time with your new friends. Are you meeting up again? Good luck for tomorrow. The bleeding, as I'm sure you know, could be a number of things, and I know you're worried, understandably as anyone would be, but try not to worry too much. Get the test out of the way, then it shouldn't be too long for the results should it? Take care xxx
hi mich glad your evening went well .
goodluck at the docs least you are getting it sorted and not putting it off . you will be stressed with whats gone on and till its all sorted we cant breath right and this problem just adds but you are doing the right thing in getting it sorted and not leaving it so hugs sent to you
in our own way we all have things to go through but the ones that have been us at the early stages like we are say there is light and we pull through so hang in there we are all here for you hun xx im trying to stay up beat my ex as got the court this month then we find out what is going to happen if it goes to trail . i also found out that by the end of the month he should be served his divorce papers from the courts so i was pleased as punch yest when i got told that then i got to sort this house out so i do little steps at a time for now. we got the best things and taht is our kids as they cant replace what they have missed out on mine cant replace seeing the boys faces each morning like i do . our best repay is when they realise what they have missed out on but by then its too late we will have moved on .
so take care go and have the tests then try to put feet up and rest snuggle up on the sofa with a book on a hot choc jobs you can do over the weekend hun just rest and take care of yourself xx big hugs xx
hi mich glad your evening went well .
goodluck at the docs least you are getting it sorted and not putting it off . you will be stressed with whats gone on and till its all sorted we cant breath right and this problem just adds but you are doing the right thing in getting it sorted and not leaving it so hugs sent to you
in our own way we all have things to go through but the ones that have been us at the early stages like we are say there is light and we pull through so hang in there we are all here for you hun xx im trying to stay up beat my ex as got the court this month then we find out what is going to happen if it goes to trail . i also found out that by the end of the month he should be served his divorce papers from the courts so i was pleased as punch yest when i got told that then i got to sort this house out so i do little steps at a time for now. we got the best things and taht is our kids as they cant replace what they have missed out on mine cant replace seeing the boys faces each morning like i do . our best repay is when they realise what they have missed out on but by then its too late we will have moved on .
so take care go and have the tests then try to put feet up and rest snuggle up on the sofa with a book on a hot choc jobs you can do over the weekend hun just rest and take care of yourself xx big hugs xx
Glad the evening went well.
I'm not a doctor but as a total lay person I would think that the fact that you have hardly eaten for the past few weeks could be a lot to do with your problem. However, I really admire you that you are sorting it and getting it checked out, if anything IS wrong then the sooner you get seen, the better. Get the blood test out of the way and see what is next.
After you have put that behind you, what does the weekend hold? is it this Saturday that you have some time on your own? A treat is called for!
Hugs Mich. I agree, definitely need a treat.
I really can't thank you all enough for your lovely support........You are all so very kind and considerate.
As you can imagine, I'm feeling nervous right now...I will ask how long the results will take too...It's the waiting isn't it?
hazeleyes,thank you so much Hun...I know you've not been having a great time of it either...
shaz 5,You're right everyone has things to have to do and go through...I know you are up against things as well....and it must be such a worry having to have the court issues you are dealing with.
Thanks Louise, I have a friend popping over a bit later....( I am feeling at that stage again where I don't want to be alone in the house)....Saturday another friend might come over too....but that's the day the H is supposed to be taking my daughter in to Town with his OW for the first time......
Oh and I've also booked in a few counselling sessions( I think I get six , but not sure how long), to do with work...called people support I think....so I'm hoping that will help..I phoned after I had been to the Dr. as I was so upset that day....and just feeling like everything was ontop of me...
Yes, I thought it was this Saturday that that was happening.
Glad you are booking in with a counsellor; the "standard" amount is 6 sessions, although you can often squeeze an extra one or two.
There is always support for you here and I will mention The Samaritans as well, as I think they are great especially in the middle of the night, I have phoned them a few times 
Something I have recommended to others before, this might sound silly but it REALLY WORKS (and sparkling will back me up here) is that colouring books can be really therapeutic. You don't have to spend much money and just get a cheap pack of crayons as well and concentrating on the colouring in really is de-stressing so consider that as an activity too.
Hope you have had the blood test and can put it behind you for a few days 
Thank you Louise...yes I've had it done, and booked back in with my Dr. for Wednesday morning to get the results...as you say, I've done all I can do, and not ignored it at least...and I LOVE your support that you lovely ladies give me here too...I will bear in mind the Samaritans too...
I like the idea of colouring books, so might get some...I've also bought the book 'Runaway Husbands' that someone recommended to me...so waiting for that to arrive.
My friend has asked me to go to London tomorrow, so if I feel up to it, might go, as it will get me out of the house...especially when H is taking my daughter out..
Hi Mich thinking of you hope you feel better soon a trip to London sounds great wish i could come too!! It will definately be a distraction for you when your daughter goes with her dad, not a nice feeling letting her go but she cant blame you for anything when shes older, sending hugs xxxxx
Thank you so much trying hard....
I do love colouring books.
Daughter and I have found a word search book (cheap one again) and we have races to see who can complete a puzzle first. It's nice as we sit close together doing it too - she'll do the puzzle on one side and me on the other.
How are you this monring, Mich?
Hi Mich. Have a lovely time in London. Are you just going to look round the shops or visit the museums or anything? Wrap up warm, it's pretty chilly here. Hope today helps to take your mind of stuff for a while, I'm sure it will. xx
I always loved the Science Museum.
The National Portrait Gallery is my favourite! but I also like just riding on the buses, you see a lot that way, and not much walking
Jill lived in London for a while and we did do loads of walking - as I have a phobia about going down hills - and down escalators! She would find which underground stations had static stairs for me, and then we'd walk where there wasn't!
Well you see a lot more that way. Some tube stations are quite close together anyway.
Have you decided if you are going, Mich?
hello hope you are alitlle better today x
hello hope you are alitlle better today x
You did a lot though.
I've been reading through stuff (OU, so not really time wasting) rather than carrying on clearing.
All on hold here though as I want to skim the ceiling in the kitchen as it looks so awful, and the housing association are meant to be sorting out a big damp patch in th living room, where all the plaster's dropped off the wall...