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Evening ladies...
Well, I didn't go to London..( just couldn't face it)...but a friend came over and we watched Egyptology programmes on TV...
When my daughter got home, she said his OW was quite funny, but ugly...I thought ' Yeah I could be quite funny too if my H hadn't bl**dy just run off after 21 with that B*nt too' but there you go eh?..She was trying to get into my daughter's good books, by telling her she could get her into this and that...blah, blah...( b*tch)
Oh well, all in all, what will be will be I suppose..still emotionally tired by it all at the moment...
Anyway, how's everyone elses weekend so far?
Not easy Mich.
Good bits, frustrating bits and lots of running around here so far!
But Wales won in their rugby match, so not too bad...
Sorry to hear you sounding frustrated mich which i would be too , but i think this ow is trying to make a good impression it wont last your daughter will see through things unfortunately you just have to take it as it comes ( easy for me to say) but i know how you feel and believe me there is nothing better than a MUM!!!!! xx
Your daughter sounds as if she won't get the wool pulled over her eyes, Mich. She knows she has a lovely mum.
Glad you got through yesterday Ok, I know you were dreading it, and lots on your mind 
Hope your day goes well today.
London will still be there another day Mich. Yesterday was hard for you, but you got through it. What are your plans for today?
hi mich soz you didnt go to london but there will other times x yes your daughter will see through her , they can buy all the gifts at the beginning but it wont last nothing compares to us moms :) i know you were dreading the visit yes i know what you mean when you said you cant be funny but they walked away in their new relationships rountines will kick in and then it will be like it was with us will they walk again to avoid going the same pathsx hope you having a good day x
Hope you're ok Mich. It is horrid to have to deal with all this.
xxx
Morning ladies....thanks for your support...
Well a bit of sunshine to cheer me up....( at the moment I'm finding mornings really hard, especially when my daughter leaves the house to go to School)...at least I'm not just staying in bed which is something I suppose...
I have nothing planned for today, so might go and do some food shopping later...My cat's neck is raw, and I was going to take her to the Vets, but it looks a bit better today( I tied a thin cloth round it, to try and protect it from her licking at it), so might wait a bit and see what it's like later...I'm just trying to get through each day at a time, at the moment...
I am meeting my friend in Town tomorrow( single Mum again I met through SPIN), and then as you know Wed morning Dr. and then another friend is coming over in the afternoon...
Hugs to you all...xxxx
What're you guys doing today?
Glad you have sun! It is horrendous up here.
I agree one day at a time. It is hard to stay in a routine of getting up if you don't need to BUT it really helps to keep your body clock regular. Try and get some fresh air as well. Every day, praise yourself for something you have achieved, you are doing so well and we are all rooting for you 
I have done about a million errands, well six actually 
, things like the sorting office to collect a parcel where I was "out" at the delivery time (no, I was in, postie was just not bothered to ring the bell), the bank, Argos to get a toaster big enough for bread to fit in, Superdrug etc, PHEW, time to get the kettle on.
Glad you are meeting that friend tomorrow, nice to have a new person to share things with and hopefully have a bit of a laugh.
Oh you've been busy too Louise..( Oh and read about your poor foot too, it's taking a long time to heal, but as you say is on your soul, so difficult not to keep rubbing I suppose).
Yes, she's a lovely lady...we go to Costas and make our drinks last for about 2 hours....
Heh heh good idea.
I have a friend I meet for coffee and she always says oh no we have been here ages, they are looking at us, and I say let them LOOK!
When my aunty and I meet up (Morrison's - would much prefer Costa!), we make our drinks last ages - and keep sipping out the empty cups!
Mind you, my aunty does go there a lot.
LOL.....sipping out the empty cups, you are great, sparkling!
My aunty's 89 - she's just as bad!!
morning mich hope you ok . hope when you see your friend it goes well :) take little steps and louise is right try to praise yourself i must say that is a good point i will try that . if you are tried or want to rest listen to your body but it helps if you do do things it stops us thinking and it helps us to move on . time for us is the best healer xx
i now when dry walk to work and that is good doing me good must say with this wind i just fly to work lol take care xx
Morning Sparkling, Louise and shaz....Well, as usual as it's the morning, a bit down...I had a warm bath to try to cheer myself up a bit....I just want to get out of these doldrums....( as I say it's mainly in the mornings when my daughter has gone to school).Plus it's raining and grey here today...( but yes, at least I'm going out later). I am trying to keep doing things and keep busy,but I am feeling lonely and sorry for myself right now....as it's the lost feeling of security and someone just being there for you..literally like your rock, that I'm missing...( as I say not particularly him)...so I do think that is a step forward at least...I hope....
The cat's neck was bad last night, but a little drier this morning, but I'm sure I will have to take her to the Vet( I'll ring up when they're open)...* Edit* She's booked in for 5.30pm
What're you up to today? ( I love hearing about what you're doing too)..
Hi Mich, sorry to read that things are still feeling tough.
I remember when I used to wake up and feel really low.
I found a way to make myself feel a bit better - I used to be in love with Destiny's Child's music, I loved the positivity and could really relate to it. One of their songs Happy Face (click to hear it, if you have speakers) was really uplifting and every morning as soon as I got out of bed I would put it on loop and cranked up the volume! My daughter still remembers it now!!
I know it sounds crazy perhaps, but find a song that makes you feel positive and use it to your advantage!
sparklinglime often talks about how therapeutic she finds music and I have to agree with her. What sort of music are you into?
Thanks Anna, I hear what you're saying...My daughter puts her music on in the mornings...( and she's into retro music due to the fact that she likes the 'Fallout' games)...but the other evening she had Patsy Cline on which was all doom and gloom..so I made her change it...
I like Abney Park, Duran Duran, Muse,...but not too into listening to music at the moment( I think you go through this stage)...but I've just got back in from town and do feel better than this morning at least now...
Off to the Vets in a while, and then Aldi for some shopping( Now don't say I'm not living the 'high life'!)
Hi Mich,
Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down at the min. It is hard to try and stay positive. I know what you mean about feeling lonely, I still do but like you I think it is just being with "someone" that I miss and not necessarily my ex.
I hope everything went okay at the vets
hi mich hope you ok and everything goes ok for you today thinking of you sending hugs xx
Hello Mich
Good luck for the doctor's appointment this morning, let us know what happens.
I know what you mean about the music, after my mum died I couldn't bear music for a while as so many tracks threw up memories or were emotional. But you need to have a think about what would help in the mornings, if this is one of your most difficult times. Kids TV? something that you have to read each morning? have you seen those little books of calm or books of sayings? or something to eat that you actually fancy, even if it is not mega healthy, but you're not allowed to have it till you are up and dressed....or some lovely shower gel that you enjoy using, or maybe enrol a friend or two to give you a "get up" text in the morning and you have to text them back when you are up, and you are not allowed to fib?
Talk to you later, thinking about you today
I have found since my Mum has died that I can't really watch emotional films as I just sob and sob for the rest of the day. So, if I know there's an emotional film I tend to not watch it - Hatchi, which I watched last Christmas was a big mistake! I well up just thinking about it!
Same with photos. I find looking back - even to those taken when I first moved here - take me back. And I don't want to think of how things were then.
Killers were my saving grace when I moved here. Can't help but tap my feet along to them. Now its Glee **ahem** (don't tell anyone) 
Hope you're ok.
Good luck for today Mich. Am thinking of you.
Last night was horrendous! I got back from the Vets( with the bill I just had to pay out)...She started scratching again...great, NOT!...anyway, then I poured a drink, which knocked over( sticky all on the floor)...tried to clean it with the floor mop, the head broke off, my daughter was sick all over the carpet..I really lost it! ( saying how it was alright for him to swan around and get all the best bits when he wanted too, and not have to deal with the crap!)we had a massive argument ( as my daughter hadn't helped me much and left empty bottles on the floor, and not brought her plates and cups down from the bedroom, but said she'd helped me for the last hour)...but later we made up, I apologised to her, but told her I had a lot on my plate, but things would get better...all in all they were little things but all mounted up...I explained this to my daughter.
But great news for today....RELIEF!!! My blood test was ok...( I burst out crying at the Dr.)..She said it was all understandable, with the stress and everything going on atm,...still don't know why it happened, and nothing more to be done at the moment( she said if anything changes or it happens again to go back)...
A good friend came over and took me into town to get a few bits in Sainsburys, but also for a little light Lunch...she also said how well I was doing going out and meeting new people, so I said yes, she was right..I am bl**dy doing well ( and gave myself a bit of a pat on the back)....She also said that I was an easy going person, not demanding and I would find someone else( which also gave me a great boost)....
On the way out the door though, Andy( the bloke who used to do the garden), said that my H had still not paid him the £40 he owed him, and was he getting his texts( Now how long ago did I tell you I'd cancelled him?)....It was really nice too that my friend heard this because it showed her that I wasn't lying when I said my H would say one thing then not follow through with what he promised...
Also the vets cost me £44.30...and I was going to ask H for the money, but as he hasn't even paid Andy, I can't see myself getting it any time soon..( BUT of course he has the money to take his OW out)...
I'm working tomorrow and Friday, so will be busy then...not sure what's happening at the weekend yet.....
I WILL get to the point where I feel just indifferent to my H.....I know it will take time, but I'm not going to let him bl**dy win...Yes, I hope it all goes T*ts up for him..( I know this is a little fantasy in my head), but that's the mood I'm in at the moment...
You're right SamW, it's not particularly 'them' we miss, just that secure feeling...but again my friend was great today, and said that we even see the relationships others have through rose tinted glasses, because the reality is, doing their dinners, washing their dirty clothes, and if they get in from work, they either go on their computers or watch telly, so we don't usually get those hugs, or cuddles we wish for, and in fact other people's lives can be very mundane just cleaning, cooking, shopping, washing and stuff...so I thought " Yes, she's right"...when we feel down, we take it all out of perspective....I remember once when I was going through a bad time at work ( in a job I had before this one), that I told my H about it, and instead of him just listening, saying not to worry, and knowing how I felt...he just turned round and told me to 'get another job'...So yes, we need to see these relationships for what they really were, not for something we thought they were...
I love your ideas for the mornings Louise...It will get better..I just have to give it time I know ( it is only about seven weeks after all)....Just feeling more positive today...and thank you all for your continuing support.....I love you guys xxxxx
( well, that was another long one)...
First of all HOORAY about your results, I feel thrilled for you 
But...sorry about your awful evening. It won't do your daughter any harm to see that you are under stress, and you need to get her bringing the pots down. You know my cunning trick of only having one mug and two beakers that son can have, already, but he also has to wash the pots in the evening, and part of that is bringing down what is in his room. I was having a joke with him the other day and said we have a new game called Hunt the Teaspoon, I get £5 from you for every one I find in your room. Of course this was in fun but sometimes that is a good way of getting a point across.
Your friend is right about other peoples' relationships, they can be very different things behind closed doors.
Let us know what you decide to try for your morning routine
Hey Mich, great news on results, really pleased, so at least that's one thing not to be worrying about. It could all have been caused by stress couldn't it. I think it's good that you had an outburst yesterday, relieves some more stress from you. I would say we all have our flare-ups every now and again, so don't feel bad about your daughter witnessing and hearing it. I admit to sometimes going off on one, especially when I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul, and I'll rant that if I was receiving money, even a little bit, it would help in some way. We're only human after all.
Hope the cat is ok. As for the bill, I'm guessing it would be better to forget asking H for the money, especially if he hasn't paid Andy what he's owed!!
Have a good evening.
Thank you so much Louise and hazeleyes...you are both right...
Hugs,
xxx
hi mich great news about the tests it may well be down too the stress you are under , but good news . dont worry or feel down about losing it with your daughter i have done that with my boys and yes i feel like why should our exs have all the fun and not have to worry about bills and the things we have to but this will make us stronger and at the mo let them have their new lives its all rosy for them put denial and life will at some point hit them in the face . they may have ran from what they had but their new lives will in time go like waht they had with us ie rouitines etc will they run again and again .
its hard for us now and we will get through this and we will have set backs i have this week but i wont let him beat me nor will you hun have a good day at work i know im busy doing swimming karate food shopping and taking son to a party then there is the jobs lol i will sit down too i am going out for drinks on sat nite so looking forward to that . stay strong we are all here for you xx
Hi Mich
I wanted to say Hi to you but I have to be brief so,
Vets bill - Ouch!
Blood test - Hurray!
Good friends with good advice and support - Yay!
Good cry - Fab!
Husband - **+!!&^^*
Daughter - Fine, important learning for her, it will also make you closer and stronger as a unit, I'm sure.
Morning routine - Whats it going to be??
Hi Mich really glad to hear that your blood tests came back ok, its because you are really stressed and worn out at the moment. Hope you are ok thinking of you x
hi mich hope you feeling ok today x
Hi Mich, sorry for the brief message yesterday was ironing out further glitches with the Freedom Programme.
I hope you are having a good day today.
I was thinking about you asking your ex for money for your cats vet bill. Is there any way you can budget for it yourself?
I found it so empowering to stand on my own two feet and not ask for anything off ex. This means that when you disagree you feel more powerful as you are completely in control, rather than needing him. I know the money would help, but you are also unsure if you would receive it. He still hasn't paid for the tumble drier etc, so rather than set yourself up for a fall, how about sitting tight and not mentioning it. What do you think about that?
Hello Ladies, I've been working Thurs and Fri, and with a friend yesterday...I am making myself go out today,and working again tomorrow. But I will catch up with you all later..
( Oh and your first short bullet point post made me smile Anna, so i will quickly do one too)...
Thurs: ok, not too bad
Fri: ok, not too bad
Sat: Morning crap, can tell you all about that later.
Sun: Morning not too great, but making myself go out to the Meetup group today...
Hi Mich. Hope this afternoon is better for you. Making yourself go out is a great idea too. (Must follow your example) Take care
Oh no...
I do hope you had a good afternoon.
xxxx
morning mich hope you are better today x
Hello Mich
Your bullet point post made me smile, too
Sorry to hear that there have been some down times. Hope things looked up when you went to your group?
Hi Mich, how was the meetup group? Did you enjoy it? Was it just a discussion group or did you DO something??
Morning ladies...
Ok, now a day off work, so I can update better...
Saturday morning was bad because I found out that H had gone for the weekend to his OW house in Spain( as my daughter needed to be dropped off somewhere and I asked her if her Dad could take her).She also then said that he had mentioned that Roger( you know the friend who is good with computers....he managed to get back some of my daughter's photo's that had been wiped)..had been round a lot...and it would be good if he and I 'Hooked up'...I was SO bl**dy cross at this...yes, it would help to alleviate his guilt...and I just couldn't jump from one relationship to another..( plus it is purely a platonic friendship)...we've been friends for years...( and he and my H were friends too)....
I told my daughter that if he mentions me again, to just say that it's their time together and not time to talk about Mum( or words to that effect)...
THEN, I got the post, and a letter from the Council Tax saying that the installment of £142 hadn't been paid, and if not there would be a £100 fee added...I was SO angry Saturday morning I can't tell you!
I have emailed him yesterday about it...and still had no reply( don't know if he is still in Spain for a long weekend)...I really don't want to have to see or talk to him...I've been good as it's over a week since I've seen or contacted him...seems longer but I prefer it that way...I can just about email him, as it's still not personal...I really don't want to have to look at his stupid face.
Anyway Sunday was good...I went first to the photo group from 2-3pm,( there were four of us, and we took photo's around our local station, then had to upload just six to the meetup site) then it was the cake committee from 3-4pm( in a cafe in Town), so I met more new people, and had a better time.
Yesterday I was working, it was an ok day( a few bad moments but ok)......
This morning again wasn't great...but it is Sunny here and I feel better now...( I haven't yet got a good morning routine as such, but I will let you know when it gets better)...
Oh and the Cat's neck is still really bad....she keeps scratching off the scabs, so it goes raw again...but I'm not going to the vet again just yet...
I hear what you're saying about the money things Anna, but at the moment any payment from him would at least show he was putting his money where his mouth is. It will also give me something to go on should I need it at a later stage....
Anyway, I have done a bit of washing, and will do a bit more now...
What has everyone else been up to?
Hey Mich. That's the best way to go, telling your daughter that. It must put her in an awkward situation too when her Dad discusses you. Well done Glad Sunday was a better day for you.
Lovely and sunny here, blowy too (good for the washing) not that I've done any. 
Hope you enjoy your day off.
Thanks hazeleyes....I've been slack, as it was a bit overcast, so the washing is still in the machine...still i can put it on the airer...
I'm sorry it wasn't a good weekend Mich.
That's a good way to deal with it... I try that here.
I hate it when the children talk to The Git as you can ask him asking questions about me (I'm assuming The Gittess can't be around when he does that). Previous call I could hear daughter saying that friend who's pushed things beyond all boundaries hasn't been here for years (it's over four years now...).
Blooming cheek him asking.
I'm sure you have, but have you changed the council tax to single adult occupancy?
The Git defaulted on what working tax credits classed as an overpayment. He'd taken the letter and said he'd sort, and never told me he hadn't. He defaulted and chased me - he never told me mind.
It's raining here again, and definitely blowy.
Hello Mich
You had a rather stressful weekend, but you handled the situation with your daughter very well She must have felt rather puzzled as to why her dad was saying all that so speaking to you will have helped her.
Yes, sparkling, I was also wondering if Mich had transferred the council tax to get the 25% discount......and now you are on Working Tax Credit you "might" be able to get some Council Tax Benefit, see here. There is an online tool to help you see if you are eligible.
Glad you had a good Sunday, Mich.
I saw on another thread that you were thinking of some voluntary work as well....maybe you could fill us in a bit?
Morning ladies...well another really bad morning...cried, felt bad yadda,yadda...BUT I KNOW it will get better...I'm feeling a bit better now, and later I am going to a 'talk' with a couple of friends to get me out the house...
Yes, I have changed the Council tax to get the discount( that's why it's just in my name now, where it was in his...so actually doing him a favour so he pays less, I've actually shot myself in the foot)...I gave him the letter over two weeks ago with the detail changes, and installment charges...so he has done squat about it all...Sent him the email on Monday, still no reply to it, so will most likely have to ring him up at his work, which of course I didn't want to have to do...so I'm putting it off until a bit later.
The voluntary work was maybe some admin work at my local Polyclinic, but I have to go to the recruitment day in the hospital the other side of Town which will be a pain to get to...but again, I'm just trying to get out and try new things...
I am working again tomorrow doing the late, and seeing my single parent Mum friend Friday, then it's my daughter's Birthday party in the evening..at least two more days covered...Weekends are gloomy though...
Oh and the Cat has just brought a mouse in my daughter's bedroom, and now she's lost it...( her neck is still bad too).
Eek a mouse!
I am sure you are doing the right thing to have things planned whenever you can, it gives a shape to your day, gets you out and about and you will meet new people on your travels.
Have you not claiimed Council Tax Benefit then?
I hope you find the mouse...! They're so difficult to get hold of.
You have a busy couple of days...
Evening...I'm leaving for the talk at 6.30pm....Found the mouse ( still alive so put it in the garden...I know you are supposed to let them go miles away..but hey), and another dead one....
Got an email from H, he said he'd been away and only just got back...but he has put money in my account to pay the Council Tax( I'm just hoping money going into my account won't affect my Tax credits)....No, Louise I haven't looked at the benefit part of it yet, so something else to add to the list to do...
Thanks again for your lovely support...I'm glad it's a new day tomorrow, and get rid of this up and down day today...( still we all get them don't we?), and you just have to recognise them for what they are and just go with them until they pass...
Very true...
I do hope tomorrow is a better day.
xx
Hi Mich hope you did go to London today if so did you enjoy? I know today would be difficult for you but how are you feeling? Thinking of you x