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£57 making bracelets is a lot of money! Respect to your son for being over half way to his target, that's a determined young fundraiser you have there! I ma sorry to hear that you have to go to court again on Friday, what a pain! But there is no reason why the judge should overturn the order now, and it doesn't sound like your sons are at all keen to see him anyway. But it must be so worrying. I really don't know how you manage, and with your 3 (!) jobs?
It does sound like he is just playing mind games, but make sure you keep yourself safe! Good luck for Friday....
Hello shaz, thinking of you, how did it go yesterday?
morning all well friday was not nice and infact i would not do it again .to be there while he was sitting there was not a nice feeling got there for 9.45 and left 1.50 and the funny thing was the time we went into court was the exact time 3years ago to the same date 16/5 we split up and i was walking to walk when her ex came to me and told me about the affair yes it as been 3 year since i found out and i have come a long journey too .
my ex handed a statement too and i didnt know he was so i had a copy and had to read it so did the magistrates so we had to go out of court again . in his statement he says he is a pillar of the community , going to the school they were not respounding to him so left him no other way , no cause ive asked and this in oct was the first time he had approached them he does admit to coming to the house to drop off cards and yes he does come late so not to see the boys and they agreed this was not hassing yet the judge says he has no need to come ????? he never said anything about the computer or alarm yet he knows that this has to be true or he would commit on it or deny it . seeing me at the cash point he was never there so i saw him as they stopped outside and watched me is in my head now and following me no does not recall yet had i braked he would have gone into the back of me as he was that close and yet the police went to him as the school called them and in there infront of the magistrates he sayd he has not spoken to the police this makes me mad so very
anyway the non mol got cancelled and he had to make a promise to keep away from the house and not to write to me he cant ring me or email or text as he doesnt know anything of them nor will cant come to my work cant pester the boys and yet he can continue to write and can go to school only if he makes arrangements first so bascially back to the first part other than writing to me and comig to work or house is extra and this stays in place till next year .
how can one person say something then you go infront of 3 magistrates and they say totally something else do not get it at all he was told by me as i turned to him and said look sorry the boys want nothing at all to do with you not now
sitting there like i have the last 2 weeks talking to woman that are in the similiar state as me we all say the same police let us down and come here and you left fearing and sometimes let down by the system . i dont blame the police really cause its hard when couples split to do something i suppose but there as to be more this one woman was scared that hers may go to trial hearing which at first he wanted to my ex and this meant i had to have more soild back ie photos of him outside house cash point etc to back up my statement which i have not yes i had the letters and the police and the school would and the alarm guy who fixed it would and computer one would but no photos so had he not done the promise mine would have been thrown out over ruled as they say then they are left open to come cause trouble at our doors and i would like to hope that within the police force ther is a dv unit but most likely not due to funds .
going and hearing others there too going through this just to get a non mole makes me like to help but wouldnt know here start or look at doing
i was given a number of a lady who works for womens aid and was told she was good and would be in court with me if i wanted so i rang heard nothing now i will give doubt here as she may be ill or away so she if i do hear anything next week be interesting if she will call back
think the hardest thing is that the lies he stated and as in past how can they lie infront of court and yet they believe themselves too
least he was told they dont want to see him but he was told if he wanted he can apply to cafcass again and try to see if they want to see him thats down to him and if he wants to try i know they are more solid in not wanting to see him so really he would be wasting money so i have placed everything away again now and hopefully this is the end of it
I hope it is shaz...
What an ordeal for you, shaz and I am glad it is over. Peoples' behaviour never ceases to amaze me and it sounds like you share that feeling. Make sure you keep a dated record of anything else that happens and I do hope you can now put this behind you.
morning all no friday was not nice and i will not try and do anything like this again but if anything ever comes up with the ex playing up i will continue keeping a log and if he is outside the house i will take pics etc and carry on calling the police as one day someone will listen but i do think that this may be the turning point of him and he sees that i will do something and im not scared of going back to court .
so i have now filled everything away again and is now behind me and we shall yet again look forward and pick up where we were
Good morning shaz 5, i have been away for a couple of weeks. Back today and reading the ordeal you have had to go through, firstly very postive and brave of you to then have everything overturned. It all seems very bizarre.
But you have shown your ex that you mean business and I take my hat off to you for finding the strength to do it.
I am pleased to read that you have put the paperwork away again, I think this is a therapeutic stance. You are putting it behind you so that you can focus on the future.
It sounds as though you are holding your boys in a very safe place and they are happily moving on. Do you have any nice plans this week?
hi all well the week is nearly over and not really done much as weather as been so bad did go to the park on mon with friends and that was nice and a friend came over to see me sun and we went out for a meal amd boys came so that was nice as not really planned .
saturday was alittle upsetting as i found out my cousin has scattered some of the ashes of my aunt and uncle and my son found out on facebook when i mentioned it they went off and went mad really and said it was a private doing nothing to do with me and not yet spoke really
rest of the week not done much thursday i was so shattered that i really didnt have the energy for anything yesterday i took my little one to hand over the money he has raised for the cancer ward of the childrens hospital ,£120 he raised i was proud and he enjoyed that and now im waiting for the muffins to bake as i have made mars bar ones and not sure how they are going to turn out ?
this with the ex as unsettled them again the younger one as gotten clingy and the older one alittle anger as come out its hard to deal with it myself yet alone them and have no one i can turn too really other than friends as having no family is hard but we will get there have too no other choice
Yes it is hard but it wil get easier as the boys' strength grows and is not so easy for him to rattle them.
Well done to your son for the charity money, a massive achievement. Shame about your cousin, I must say that things to do with weddings and funerals so seem to cause a lot of family upset.
Back to work on Monday I guess though you may have had to do the cleaning job this week, have you?
morning all have had a few troubles with older son think going back to court as not helped but as asked for help within the school and think with a mix of hormones kicking in and mixing with the wrong crowd he as saw that he was silly the younger one was in hospital last sunday as he as a tare in his back passage so on cream to help was horrible as they were thinking of operating on him and from the hospital i rang ex as i should but nothing didnt answer phone nor ring hospital nor sent a letter so it is his loss and his doing and still after going back to court drives past the place of work so let him hang himself cause i wont go back to court nor do anything this time he knows i mean business but unless its too much or gets nasty no let it ride over me and he will hang himself im sure
cant believe they break up soon booked a day trip to blackpool and weymouth so looking forward to that sea air nothing better
Hello shaz that is great that you have the seaside trips to look forward to.
So sorry to hear about your son, sounds like he had an anal fissure, agony for him, I do hope they have sorted him out now, does he have to eat special foods now to help his digestion? Keep a note of his dad's not bothering when he was in hospital, the dates and details, you never know if you might need this in the future.
As for your eldest, he is getting to "that age" now so it's wonderful that the school is helping and of course they tend to follow their friends. Try to stay calm when things kick off, he needs to feel safe (the stuff with his dad feels "unsafe" to him, I think) but at the same time stay strong, which I know you can do after all you have been through!
Aww, your poor son! I do hope he's recovering...
I'm glad you have the trips to focus on and enjoy.
morning all its hard to have to go through this again but have to , at times this week i had thought have i done the right thing or should i have just left it but after not recieving my csa yesterday and having to call then yes i have done the right thing . he as made the payements just late so i will get it late nearly aweek and this is most likely because i did not write to him after he wrote to me this is all down to mind games and he thinking he as control but im sorry to have to say he has not got control and lucky for me everything i have based this house and bills on doesnt not rely on his money cause deep down i knew he would play up and mess about but he will come unstruck if he carries on .
i have rang the courts but cause the order only says workplace and house im ok in court . it wont be nice seeing him that is if he turns up but this is what i have to do i shall face it only be the worse hour but my fear is that teh judge will over turn and allow the boys to see him again and over turn the cafcass order too im more worried about that this on fri seeing him
well my friend who lost her son came last night we had a good chat and she cant believe this is happening agian and my little one is making loom band bracelets to raise £100 for the childrens cancer ward at the childrens hospital even though her son didnt go to that hospital this is the one my son as choosen so i was telling my friend and she felt honoured bless him in just over a week he as raised £57 so not bad