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It sounds like you got your point across, and I hope she does respect your wishes.
Isn't it nice to have some summer...
Woohoo, what a brilliant post to read of yours shaz 5, I think you handled the situation soo so well! 
You were empathetic, assertive and in control of the situation. She is obviously missing you and your boys, is ashamed of her son (that was why she was trying to excuse his behaviour) and that is why she said she doesn't want you to meet someone else, as she is afraid of losing you.
You set your boundaries up and she has had to comply with them. Again - well done you!
As for the boys sitting in front of the tv! Well, she should read this thread! (hmmm, perhaps not!! 
) They have always been at the forefront of all your actions since you have been on the boards and you have done your utmost to keep them living a 'normal' life through all of this. I think you are a fab mum and I take my hat off to you (if I was wearing one! 
)
Good luck with the car boot, I look forward to hearing all about it next week :)
hi all from one very tired person but it has been afab weekend and i look like a lobster too lol . friday night kicked off with us going swimming . really enjoyed that as my neighbour had my little one so i was able to go off swimming with the older one and that was nice . got back from there after 10pm tehn saturday we went to twin lakes with gingerbread, and that was lovely day out really enjoyed the park and the weather was great . even though i have not been to ginger bread since january i am still able to go to the trips . got back from the trip had some tea then loaded the car ready for the carboot which i went too this morning. kids were really good in getting up at 5 and going . we set up at 6 in a field and stayed till 1 and packed away what was left just before the rain came . still got abit to sale so we could do another may be next week but today we made 0ver £130 so that was really good and i even got my little one some new trainers for school at a bargainnow just checking on here having a nice cuppa after a nice long soak in the bath .
i really think tonight will be a early night for us all . the kids helped us to unload and set up and even helped in selling the goods
What an excellent weekend for you all, and how great that you have come on here to tell us about it. 
I really,really hope you can look at these last few days and think about when you first came on here and how far you have come...further than you could EVER have imagined, I guess?
Hurray for you!!!!
Woohoo, fab weekend! £130 brilliant!
morning all yes louise from when i first came on here i would not have even thought i would be this stronger and beable to do what i have done and gone through . i still have days when i feel down or even cry but i soon pick myself up .
monday didnt do much as still very tired from the weekend , tueday went to a lovely park and the kids enjoyed it and went swimming , wednesday finally got all the uniform and did abit of shopping as the weather was so bad did go to a lovely pub lunch as a treat then yesterday i had booked a trip to stourport on severn and we had a fab day out really had fun got back last night and on the way back a old dear friend from school rang asking if i could get a sitter would i like to go for a drink with him so i managed to do that and we had a fab night out talking and laughing , he needed a break as he just found out he as skin cancer but we had a good nite and today im very tired but still later today one of the local firestations has a open fun day so will be off there and swimming again later which is nice and chilling and a fab way to de stress
just had to find some more paperwork out for the mortage people hope now that is it and they will take me on there cant be any more paperwork left for me to find but i will get there soon hopefully
It is great to hear that things are moving forward for you now, you have done so well. Some lovely days for you, although I am sorry to hear about your friend and I hope he can get some good treatment.
You are all organised withe the school uniform! Are you back at work soon?
morning all yesterday was a hard day as i went bakc to work and it would have been my wedding anniversary . plus i had someone in to do my house alarm as when i lastw ent to court and the house was asigned to me the house alarm started playing up. funny that as it had not before and the guy who came sorted it out there was a dialer connected and that was to my ex's moblie which i didnt have a clue where to look for that well it was taken out and now he cant access the alarm anymore .
last week the boys recieved letters from my ex and even my solic sadi she wasnt happy with these , in them he spoke about going camping and what he did their with friends and where he was living and who lived there and they wanted to be friends . spoke about school hope they were doing ok looking forward to new schools and how he was proud for the older one school report nothing about the little one report . said he knew he had to be patiance for them but they could have the best of both worlds and he hoped that i wasnt playing a game in saying that which i have always said that i would like them to have a relationship with their dad he hoped i wasnt just saying it for fun he hoped it was true not best way or things to put in letters to kids when they are hurt still . well best be gettinmg ready off to work . so tired and not nice when ive got bitten so many times over the weekend that they look nasty and ended up at the docs last nite . to have so many bites well i cant say how painful they are even doc said i must have been tasty lol 10 bites is too many my ankle is swollen and back as 9 
said well they are not coming back for more and i hoped they die painfuly after bitting me lol
Hi shaz
A few people are getting some nasty bites at the moment, poor you.
How annoying that the boys' dad decided to use the letters as an opportunity to criticise you, not the way to move forward!
Going back to work is never an easy day and especially on what would have been your anniversary. Hope your week gets better from here on in.
I hope today goes ok. Hard to go back to work at times...
Hi shaz5 once you get back in the swing of things, new term, work etc hopefully you will be feeling better.
Glad that the solicitor recognised how inappropriate the letters were.
A good thing to stop mozzies getting you is Tonic water as they don't like Quinnine, I have been known to add a dash of gin sometimes - although that does make me grumpy the next day!!
morning all well work was very tiring and i hated friday altogether, we were at another school helping out and they said it was spooky and sightings have been seen and heard well i love it and would love to go on a ghost walk , but this was horrible . i was cleaning toilets and the one set they say a little boy sits on the steps whistles and plays . well im not sure if its true but i think i heard whistling and that was it i went on to my phone calling all who could talk put music on which kept going off well by 12 i was a reck and then told we have to go back next week for 2 days well my nerves it be the quickest clean ive ever done i will say . people were laughing at me but i couldnt care . the teachers have said they have heard and seen things and you do go very cold in the school so tuesday can be ages in coming lol
the house is slowly coming on which is doing my head in . plus my soilc rang me fri to tell me to stop csa as im not to have contacted them till oct due to the money side of the hearing but i thought i could have gotten things in place, but nope so i had to call them plus he as asked not to go through them is has offered £300 a month for the boys but like i told my solic i havent gone through them to get more its my security should he fall behind they can attach to his wages before it goes into his bank she agreed as he has not played ball upto now. plus we go the 5th for the kids and it looks like the access he is going to take further and fight it well let him i know i have never said that the kids cant or i would stop them he may think i have but it is their own words and doing im here to look after and protect them and im their voices in this so il see how it goes wk after .
anna i will try tonic water just with out the gin that i dont like . bites are going down slowly but i did go swimming friday . last 2 thursdays i have been going out with a old school friend and have enjoyed it , hoping to meet up this week too and following week out for a curry . looking forward to oct booked tickets for nickleback concert that is my treat for myself for what i have been through .
well today im off doing ironing dinner is cooking nicley music is on so il be singing and dancing away kids looking at me strange and all i get from the older one is who is nice lol soooooooooo old lol i will educate him into the 80's and other music hope ever one is well
Music can help a lot of situations, you could take some along with you on Tuesday. Whether or not you believe in ghosts and spirits, you can say to yourself they wish me no harm and I am safe and well. Another thing that I find helpful if I am scared (of anything) is to say to myself "Louise just think of the REALLY scary things you have got through in real life" And you, shaz, what you have been through was pretty scary and you have come out really well, so believe in yourself!
Glad the bites are getting better, they can itch for ages. I always put anti itch cream like Lanacane on mine, in the belief that if I don't scratch they will heal up easier but I think tea tree oil is also good.
Yes you do need to have some security about the money from the boys' dad and of course you have to be guided by the solicitor.
The school, while creepy, sounds fascinating.
Lanacane is marvelous stuff...
afternoon all well work is over its been hard cleaning but i must say the schools look fab for when they go back. well today i recieved the absolute plus my son wrote a letter to both his dad and the judge stating he really didnt want to see him and that he would along with his brother run away , my ex as done the right thing as decided to withdraw his decision to make contact with the boys and leave them alone. when i let my son read the letter my son fall to the floor crying with joy . now my life can really start and although i have got to go to court on wed to end it all now i know that the kids wishes have finally been taken into account
Wow, what a brave little boy you have shaz 5, 'Are we there yet?' Yes, I think we very nearly are!!
Do remind your son though that at any time he changes his mind, you will contact his father, the option is always open to him.
Roll on Wednesday! What a rollercoaster it has been for your little family. How will you celebrate?
Oh shaz what a year you and the boys have had and how well you have done to get through it all. We are so proud of you
I agree with Anna, a celebration is called for once Wednesday is done and dusted!
evening all what a day its full of every emotion to be honest . court was today and even though it went in the boys favour it is still sad, cause he is their dad but i cant nor would i change them if that is what they want . like i said before my ex had wrote to say that he would not be going ahead with face to face contact and today that was what was granted , he can write to them once a month and send gifts on their bdays , xmas and easter that is what he stated nothing more no pocket money either. he cant go to see them at school but he as rang the schools to see the teachers propbably to ask for reports to be sent to him, but least they can go through school now being happy and get on with their lives .
its sad in away as at times i would like a break and if he had them every other weekend i would get a break plus i could do things but i cant force nor would i so i wil have to work around them and things . but if they are ill i have to contact him if it is serious or they broke arm eg. i did take pics of them in for him and his solic said i was very kind and thanked me for caring .
he was late for court and he came with his new partner who stood starring at me but i sat with my friend laughing and oh boy were we laughing planning a night out at the end of septmeber .
well it as finally ended my year of courts, solic , police etc i have ridden a very rocky road but i have come through it and fingers crossed i shall be getting a answer about the house and then by next week it will be all mine and i will then be totally free . there as been times through this that i dont mind saying i never thought i would ever see this ending nor get through it . many times did i feel like throwing in the towel in, but im glad i didnt even though it is hard and ive got very little family to fall on i will cope ive gone through alot and yet he can deny what happened but with my son writing a letter he knew that he had lost and deep down he knows what he really did but cant face it but one day it will catch him up but myself and the boys will have moved on . it was funny saying bye to the solic too as im free of that too now . coming from the court i got home and i didnt feel like i wanted to be alone so i went into work as i did have the day off but i needed my little class and company and seeing their faces and getting hugs is what i needed .
i got asked do i hate him i replied , to hate , to be bitter , to carry anger are all emotions and to move on while you carry these you are never able to move on fully as these will always hold you back and in the end it will only be you that gets hurt as they wont feel these emotions that you have as they have moved on . it is best too look back and smile as we move on as it will help us to recover and get stronger x
Glad the day is over and things went ok.
You get used to no time out, to be honest, and before you know it they'll be all grown up.
Hope you are able to have a relaxed day today.
Hi shaz 5,
It sounds like you are feeling a mixture of emotions now that the legal side of things is coming to an end.
I hope you are finding some time for you once the boys are in bed on a night - you might not have any opportunity for 'proper' time out at present, but even a long soak in the bath or watching a film & switching off is taking a little time for you. As the boys get older it will become easier, I'm sure of that. It sounds as though despite only having a small number of relatives you have a good support system - don't be frightened of leaning on your friends from time to time, if things feel hard - that's what friends are for!
Your positive attitude to not holding on to the negative emotions is great to hear. I wish you and your boys all the very best.
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! What a big day yesterday was! Emotional...painful but all in all, you came away with a good result. The boys wishes taken into consideration and hopefully by next week the house too.
I am ecstatic for you. How are you feeling today shaz5? Do you feel light headed as if a weight has been lifted or you may find that you feel a little blue as now is the time that you have the headspace to actually grieve what has gone on.
I agree with you when you say there is no point carrying negative emotions about your ex as they just eat you up and only damage yourself. So big thumbs up to you.
We are very proud with how you have dealt with everything and coped so well. Bring on the end of September and 'your big night out'!!
hi all im going to start off my screaming ive been granted a mortage lol it was past yesterday morning and im only just coming down to earth . this week as been a roller coaster and im so glad it as all come to a end. my ex well he is well and truely in the past and i can now move on . i do hope that one day the boys will want to see their dad and i will help them in that but for now the year we have had as finally come to a end and now its looking a head and not back .
people have said how happy and beaming i look this week and i do feel brighter . teh kids have gone back today to their activities and im going out for a curry tonight with friends and the park tomoz with the boys.
the boys have both liked their new schools and the older one really is full of the seniors and cant wait to go , which as helped me this week knowing he is ok plus that school as really helped me over my ex and they told me that my son was the main importance not us parents and they would protect him as much as they can but now i have a court order my boys can finish their school life in peace .
i want to thank every one who on here as posted me support this site is amazing for help and support . at the beginning i would never have said that i would have come out feeling like this or even believing i would get through this so many thanks to you .
yes the end of september will be a big time to go out and enjoy and let my hair down and have fun and have afew drinks lol
my new life begins now 
Hi Shaz so sorry to hear what u going thru,be strong for your kids,I am not allowed to go to the pub and have a drink as my ex (out of spite) has reported me to ss for drinking,I have lost my 16month old son plus the money and someone has reported to me to my landlady and my ex called the police to get me done for harrassment,my eldest is in bits as she see her Mum in such a bad way,not mean to go on but thought it may take ur mind off stuff to hear how a shitty ex has treated me also ,thinking of you xx
Hi marianne42,
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment. I'm a bit confused as to why you think shaz 5 needs her mind taking off things though - she sounds to me to be in a great place from her last post.
How are you going to adress what is going on with social services? Have you spoken to a lawyer? You can contact our legal expert through the link I've inserted here if you'd like to.
Mary
Oh shaz I have been away a few days and am popping in to say YOU ARE A STAR! You are a wonderful example to people who are just starting out on this journey. I remember many times when you thought "I can't do this, I will NEVER move on" and yet you did and here you are. Hope you are bursting with pride, I certainly am!
Hi shaz 5, I love your post too, hoo-blinking-ray - you did it!
And well done you! You have been consistent with your boys and kept up their activities and it is brilliant to read that they are enjoying school and although they have been through a terribly emotional time, it sounds as though you have got them through pretty unscathed!
Woo hoo!
Just keep looking after yourself at this time. As a word of warning, sometimes after the rollercoaster you have been on, you may find that you dip. You have had to keep your energy and your emotions up to deal with all that you have and sometimes it is when the major stuff has passed and we can begin to relax that it can hit us the magnitude of the previous months. I am not saying this will happen, just know that if it does it is only temporary
Did you have a good curry?
hi everyone yes i had a lovely curry then went for drinks after really nice . i will watch out for that anna as i have been through alot . still waiting to finialize the house but hopefully that will happen this week and my ex shall be taken off the deeds then that is it :) .
this week it as been a nice week kids have settled into their schools .have some catch up time with friends over this weekend and that as been nice . the end of the month im having my house repainted , certain rooms . my dad as brought all the paint for me so it be all nicely changed by october .
today as been really enjoyable , i have always wanted some nice pictures taken in a studio of us as a family my ex never did let us have them done so we have gone today plus ive had some taken of just me so next saturday we go and look at them . they will need to air brush me alot lol then came back had a tidy up in the garden then went for a lovely walk in the park conker hunting for over 2 hours and late ive got downton abbey back so i shall be there watching that with a glass of wine .
Glad you've had a good week Shaz. Its good when the children settle into school too.
I am so thrilled that things are finally settling down for you shaz after everything you have been through. Hurrah!
What a lovely idea about the photos
Tell us about what colours you are painting where, so we can imagine you in your new space!
morning well the shoot went well and going this saturday to have a look at them and pick . im having done the lounge , hallway and my bedroom and its going to be cream and then im having the colour in the curtains etc . the lounge is cream and green calming colours .
ive been busy trying get my little ones birthday presents sorted as its coming up in oct and he wants a party so with another mom we are going for a joint swimming party .
today im off to go see the solic as the papers from the courts have come so il have to take them to the schools so my ex then cant go in and see them while they are at school plus ive got afew things to sign . heard about house yesterday its still going through i suppose its time and solic etc just wish i had this part sorted but alittle more time wont hurt
It will get there, shaz, I imagine you think "come on then, I have done it all, I wish everyone would get a move on!"
I like the idea of calming colours.....lovely
Swimming parties are great but dont forget to take your earplugs, I remember the last one my son went to, the noise echoed so much round the place I had to leave the building for a coffee! (I wasn't the host) Excellent idea to double up with another family, you would both probably be inviting all the same children anyway!
Thanks cant even get hold of my solicitor on phone it's a joke,I am just a bit too angry to speak to ss at mo,they dont turn up when they say n my daughter had to attend an appointment with them on Monday-when she arrived the woman was off sick and no one bothered to inform me,I find it incredible ,I am fortunate to have my best friend around otherwise I would have totally cracked by now,I will look at the recommended legal advice many thanks,hope everyone is well x
Hi shaz5, I love hearing what you get up to, you have such a busy life and it is so good to read that you are now making changes to your house. All part of moving forward. The paperwork will come through all in good time, as you say.
marianne42, I am sorry to read that your daughter attended an appointment but the woman was off sick. Was your daughter able to see someone else?
morning all went last sat to see the photos i was a little upset at mine really probably cause i hate my photo being taken and i see myself as ugly. but i have picked some that i do like . the boys on their own were fab and hard to chose form lol.
went out saturday night was so looking forward to it , but afew comments made hurt me . my one friend i was shocked as to what he said and how he acted and i did ask him but he said he meant nothing by it . it was over some one he saw in the pub which had been a blast from the past and i got the blame . then we moved on and i had my bum pinched by someone whne myself and my friend turned round the blokes started to laugh and shouted out the local dogs are out . well that hurt as it brought me back to when my ex left me and my childhood as my mother always said i was ugly and worthless and then when my ex left i felt again worthless and ugly again . i know that they were drunk but it still got to me and what had been a good night ended alittle sour but ha ho il get over it just myself esteem needs working on .
well the house as begun to be painted and i cant wait for it to be finished and dress it nicely with things . sat i brought a ornament, its one i wanted for awhile, williow of a lady holding 2 boys so that will go on the fireplace when done .
well looks and feels really autumn now boots are out and socks still now got the heating on yet or the fire manage with blankets and snuggling up on the sofa .
The Willow things are nice, aren't they? My friend has a lovely collection of them.
Oh dear your night out sounds a bit upsetting in places. Those silly lads, you're right, they were just drunk and they thought you were attractive enough to pinch your bum, and then oh dear, they had to face up to real life, they might have to ACTUALLY TALK TO A WOMAN, and so they just made a horrid remark, that was to cover up their inadequacy, if people feel inferior then they try to put others down, I think that is what they were doing there.
But of course it plugs into any insecurities you are feeling. That is definitely something a counsellor would be able to help with. I can tell you that you are fab and a worthwhile person (which you are!) but of course you need to believe that for yourself. I think you should feel very proud of yourself for the way you have coped over the last year or so
As a first step, have a look at this article about self-esteem.
morning all well monday after school my son was walking home with his friend and they were mugged , he did try to run away but they grabbed him and asked him what he got on him and he had only 25p and they took that his friend they took his phone , another friend ran to them and took them to her house and then the police were called . i was called out of work at my wits end as i knew that i had to call my ex as this had to be reported to him.
my son was shaken up but ok crying and the police are not going to press him any more with doing statemenst etc as they know he is upset and when i told them as they knew something had happened they said best leave him . it was horrible to hear my ex voice and he kept wanting to see the boys i know he is desperate to see then but they dont want to see him but on the other side my ex as not wrote to them or tired to answer to them as to why he has done what he as . on the phone he was chattting to me telling me that he as problems with his earing aid and that him and his new girlfriend are going out and they have joined and new gym i jsut said as to what point are you telling me this and said that i have a duty to inform you of the boys have done so and put phone down . he cant except the court order on him not to see the boys as he kept saying let me see them , talk to them etc but at the end of the day it is his doing and this is what he cant see or except.
found out that a friend as been talking about me saying how does she do it go out , have the house painted and even talk about holidays etc she is a single mother whether i shall say something is yet to see yes im a single mom but that doesnt mean we dont have a life and we can go out enjoy ourseleves we are not tried to the house and holidays well if we can afford them why not i budget myself and if i can afford them why cant i . why should we go with out we all deserve holidays and treats . just makes you mad people have to say something or are quick to judge when they dont know the full facts but then i suppose its life
least my son is ok the test will be tonight coming home on his own
What an awful shock for you all. I do hope he'll be ok walking home...
Your poor son, shaz, and poor you, what a terrible thing to have happened. Yes you did have a duty to tell his dad but that's the end of it.
People sometimes think that single parents and their families should never have or do anything. You work very hard and if you have managed to budget for treats then good for you. 
to them is what I say!
morning all not much as been happening the house is slowly coming on being painted looking at carpets for my bedroom this weekend hopefully i have treated us all to go to the pantomine this christmas again so they are looking forward to that . being gettting prices of holidays for whitsun next year feel like i want to get away , to be honest really need a good holiday and the boys have not been aboard have worked out a plan and hopefully i can stick to it and go.
been helping my friend out just by being there really as her mom as very sadly gone into a hospice , she had just gone in to sort her pain relief out but think i think she wont be coming home but there is always hope x when we went out for our night out the other weekend my friend bumped into a girl she had not seen for ages and she was lovely bubbly sadly last week we heard she had had a heart attack , her son tired to help her as she had the heart attack infront of them , but sadly last monday they switched off her life support as she was pronounced brain dead . she leaves 3 sons older and a 3 year old little girl . i only meet her that night but she was lovely women life at times can be so cruel .
last weekend i got the garden all done and got upset over letting the garden go abit silly really after what i have just wrote, makes you think really what is more important . the garden is looking nice even after 8 bags later .
well schools break up friday cant wait even though i have got to go in and clean but i have not got to double up hours so i still have most of the day to be with the boys and it is my little ones birthday so he as a swimming party next saturday so busy getting things ready for that this week .
we have had letters form my ex well the boys have photocopied ones they were sad reading them as i have read them but not the boys they dont want too . in them he goes on about the police court etc he mentions my sons name four times and me to do with him not being able to see them . i read them out to my friend and she said they were not nice letters if he wants to see them but like i say it is his douing not mine and that is what i keep telling myself , and i put those letters away in a box so in the hope they will read them or want to have them . all to do with what as gone on i have boxed away for them to have when they are older to see for themselves . during the yr i wrote a dairy of events so they can read for themselves as they know alot but there are things taht i have kept away as they are young and this would have been too much for them to have known it all .
well i best be getting ready hope everyone as a good day
Hello shaz5 I love reading your posts and knowing how you are getting on
Great idea about putting the letters in a box.
8 bags in the garden eek! We have a fortnightly collection of a garden bin here so mine is being done in bits. I have a little garden at the front of the house and this year have filled it in with turf to make more grass and less flowerbed, my friend helped me dig everything out of the flowerbed and I chose some new plants so it looks very nice now.
How very sad...your friend's mum and then the sudden collapse of the other lady. I always think when I hear news like that, gosh life is so short, it is important to use our time well and to enjoy our lives. You are doing just that, shaz, you are making the very most of things and I tke my hat off to you!
morning all well yet another weekend over and i went to see my friends mom which was nice sat night then we went for something to eat so that was nice x
yesterday well i went to meet up with my ex mother in law and went for a carvery , its my little ones birthday this week and it was the only way he would get his present . she was going to post his card then told me that the present can wait , well i was very polite and told her no way it wasnt fair to him as the other son had last years present and you came over and dropped off his card and money so this is not happening to the other one , and to be fair my older son picked up on it so this way it was a onther meeting and he was able to get his card so this is what i did . she did talk abit told me all what she had done and her family and her older grandson alot about him nothing about his brother though. this time my son did talk about school and later said whats the point ! plus she gave him £20 towards his trip in nov but gave no pocket money to the little one and when we dropped her off my son said he was going to share teh money as it wasnt fair which i thought was sweet.
ive been intouch last week with csa and had a call friday off them keeping me informed that they had tired to call my ex but he wasnt answering the calls so they have wrote to him then they will go to his wrote place. he is trying still to get to me some way , as he doesnt like the fact im doing things and i hold the strings if you like . plus he as still yet to sign his papers for the house so im having to trace that up too . he wont get far as if he doesnt comply he does face prison or a very heavy fine as it was on the settlement .
well ive got soem running around to do still trying to find a bilb for my new lamp and ive been to 3 shops and nothing trust me to get a awkward lamp hope everyone as a nice day x
I hope you enjoyed the carvery though. I hope your son has a lovely birthday.
Hi shaz5, wow your house and garden seem to be coming along nicely. I think it is really healthy to make these changes and it sounds as though you are finding it therapeutic too!
I am excited about your holiday too 
Glad that you saw your ex mother in law, although i can read your frustration in her actions, it sounds as though you are willing to keep trying for the boys sake. Hopefully yours, the boys and her relationship settles as time goes by.
So what are you getting your youngest for his birthday??
morning all , well little one had a fab 8th birthday and on the plus side he broke up from school too so he is well happy. the party went well and all who came enjoyed it . my friend made his birthday cake and as he loves vw camper vans that was his cake in blue and white. he had lots and as spent some of his birthday money too. i got him a 3d ds 2nd hand one but you would never know as it is in mint condition . he wanted this talking dog so he had that plus afew other bits.
working cleaning this week so just doing two and half hours in the morning just so tried after . i got the boys a bigger tv for their room had a bargain dvd freeveiw etc 22in for £80 but it works ok except the dvd wont load so i have got to take it back after work this morn then later i have the densit .
he did have a card off his dad with 2 gift cards in them his dad is pushing it as he is supposed to post the cards in the post not push them through my door on the morn of his birthday .
think im having the blues at the min was hoping i wouldnt ,have had afew teary days over the last 2 weeks even having the house panited i dont feel like it is mine , which as been the biggest upset next monday i get the house all in my name and i start to pay the new lend for it , even that i dont find it exciting i very much find it scary . to be honest think we are in need of a break and alot as happened and a break would be nice . t may be the winter blues starting too il get over it
I'm so glad your son had a lovely birthday. It sounds like you all had a good time.l
Knowing how upset my lot get not having a card, in a way its nice he has had a card and gift from his Dad. I know that its difficult for you after all you've been through, I'm not dismissing that side of things at all.
Ah yes, winter blues. We never really had a summer here in north Wales, so I figure there was never a chance for the winter blues to go away!
Hope you're ok shaz.
Hello shaz
Thanks for telling us about your boy's birthday, it sounds fab!
Sorry to hear that you feel a bit down, it is normal and not just to do with the weather. When you have fought so hard for something and dreamed about how good it will feel when it is all over, then it is a shock to the system that although yes, the problem has receded, real life is still here with all the cares and tribulations (we sort of put real life on hold during "a crisis")
So take care of yourself and hope that things will gradually feel better for you. I know that you have arranged for a few changes in the house, keep doing things, it need not cost a lot, just some new cushion covers, a picture on the wall....
evening all what a horrible weather wise weekend , i have had to come to putting the heating on as it as been so cold. well our half term is over they go back to school tomorrow and this week i have seniors first parents evening tues followed by a talk about when they go away in nov i have been and got him some thermal vests. they will have fun and he as got a thick sleeping bag . it will be odd just having one son to look after for the week .
i have had to get a new chest freezer as this one is slowly packing up and thats coming next sunday . i have had to have my friends brother in law come in and change my alarm as my ex still had control via his phone , thought we had disconnected that but nope he found another device hence is why it was going off at times and then packing up all together , well not any more he cant get access .
yesterday i have booked us a holiday for may to majorca for aweek , so looking forward to it the boys have never been on a plane and its been over 20 years since i have too so looking forward to it plus alittle nervous . the flights are not good but that will part of the holiday . its funny the place where we are going is where i went for my honeymoon all those years ago but least its not the same hotel . the kids are excited but they cant get over we have to wait 5 months lol but its something to look forward too plus gives me a goal to aim to save for .after all we have been through we need a good treat.
yesterday too my older son was signed off his counselling as they said he is in a happy place now and no matter how much he is asked he will not speak or talk about his dad , to him he is happy to forget that sad but they said to put him through anymore would be too damaging as there is no point . they have worked out ways for him to control his anger and how to do things when he gets upset . so for me its hard cause i would like him to talk about his dad but i have to understand and except this is his way of handling whats as happened but he told me he is happy . also as a girlfriend too but i cant ask too much with that lol
well tomorrow is the final day when the house totally becomes mine and my ex is off the deeds very nervous as i own this now on my own but im doing this for the boys and now i want to look into doing a will more so as the boys dont want to go to their dad should anything happen to me plus i do have that court order that he as no direct contact and they want to go to my cousin so thats the next thing in place i have to do .
well i have over done it this week as my back is hurting badly and im struggling to move good .i had carpet fitted in my bedroom and the stairs , good price £253 for all that and them doing it nice green colour but i had to take the old one up and this is what did it lol
today i have carved pumpkins ready for wed and i have made up 2 shoe boxes for the soldiers xmas present which i shall drop off at the point i have to tomorrow. i have made a female and a male box filled up with nice goodies ,soups, hot chocolate ,sweets pens notebooks dried fruit and toothpaste etc just doing my little bit for them well best be signing off boys have just had their showers time for hot chocolate and cuddles before bed x
You've been busy shaz!
Exciting times ahead. I know when we went away it was a fabulous week. Our last holiday, more than likely, but it was brilliant.
Hi shaz5, yes you have been busy! Can't keep you down eh?
Holiday in Majorca - ahhhh I love the talk about holidays, so exciting for all 3 of you. Yes it may feel abit daunting, but you will all have a fab time, is there a pool where you are staying or will you be at the beach every day?
Your carpet sounds like a bargain, shame you did your back in though, what are you doing to soothe it? Heated pillow? Deep heat?
Good news about your eldest being signed off. The day will come when he wants to talk about his dad (probably), but it sounds as though he has things sorted in his head for now and he is happy with that.
Big congratulations today - you own your own home!! You have worked hard to get it and you deserve it, so well done you!
I have turned on my heating now too. Although the sky is a beautiful blue, I am sure outside is pretty nippy!!
Take it easy today, rest your back and enjoy your home
Oh shaz...can you hear my round of very loud applause from here? WOW you did fantastically at that meeting, I am very proud of you. You handled it all in a calm and sensible way even when she said rude things like she thought the boys would be sat in front of the TV all day or things that were totally none of her business, like about you finding someone new
I was GRRRR when I read that!
I totally agree with you about the phone number. There is a risk that he would get hold of it. You are right: she is indeed finding it hard to come to terms with it all and hopefully this meeting was a good building block and the boys will still have contact with her in the future. Well done you!!
Glad you are enjoying the sun, your trips sound nice!