This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
thanks my friends - how was your holiday Louise
Things have taken a really nasty turn - the idiot forwarded an email last night (why he couldn't have left it until he returned from being with the kids I have no idea) but he has changed my name in his address book to an abbreviation which I know is derogatory.
So what do I do but tell him to no longer email me and that I have blocked his email account but I couldn't stop there - I told him something from when we were together that disgusted me about him but have always kept it to myself - mind you I nearly copied VEW into the email
I was SO angry by the abbreviation he used and I really wished I could have just ignored it
Never mind I have blocked him now and don't need to read anything more he sends me I guess the only problem is that we still have to do contact but I won't have it through emails 
oh and eldest is miserable(or so she tells me) - she texted me at 11.30pm last night
I had a good break thanks, but am now recovering from a cold!
It's sad if the girls are not enjoying themselves but dont forget that at 14 they are pretty bored of "EVERYTHING".
How hurtful and nasty that you saw that email name....do you think he knew you would see it or he did not realise it would appear on his email? I do not blame you for wanting to retaliate...and you have been thinking of blocking him/changing your email address for a while
Deep breaths!
aah Louise sorry you have a cold - don't forget to put vick on your feet before you go to bed - it really does help
re the idiot emailing yes I am pretty sure he knew it would show but if he didn't then he is living up to his name - anyway I have blocked him now and that is it - he will have to sort out some other method of communicating regarding contact although I don't want texts from him either - don't get me wrong I am not all innocent but I think all I have done is told him the truth in the past and he doesn't like it but I am keeping quiet as of now
I am not too worried about the 14 y/o I know she is after sympathy from me and its great she is turning to me - I am not getting involved but just saying things like oh dear and it must be hard for you but empathising and not egging her on 
Youngest is enjoying herself I think!
Yes sorry hear about your cold Louise, i hope it didn't have you feeling to miserable on your holiday.
lrh i had to laugh as i could just imagine your 14 year olds face when you were doing all that empathising 
It probably is a great idea to keep mum in future in regards to your ex.
It won't be easy, but i found that it was easier if i was prepared with statements and phrases for when the ex would inadvertantally say or do something hurtful.
So what are you doing this evening lrh?
Nothing tonight but went to World Press Photo exhibition today - it was very moving
Horse riding tomorrow evening for first time in too many years
Wednesday going to see The Angels Share and then out for pizza
Job interview thursday - at my current workplace - it is for more hours and a stupid local authority system where you have to apply for a job you are doing but there is no guarantee so I am not getting too ahead of myself
Going to a friends for dinner on Thurs evening - phew!
Wow lrh considering your wobbly start it sounds like you have embraced this time to yourself 
Horse riding, wish i was coming with you i have not been in ages either.
Fingers crossed for the interview, but i am sure you will do well, are you likely to find out on the same day if you have been successful?
Yes I think we will find out the same day - I can't really afford not to get the job but if I iewdon't then I don't
I just hope I don't fall off the horse tomorrow and break something before the interview!
Hi LRH,
I have only read the last few pages of your thread so not fully up to speed on your story.
I hope you are enjoying your free time now, it sounds like you have a packed week planned.
I can hear the frustration you feel with your ex's behaviour, and the desire you have to try and create some kind of reasonable situation between the 2 of you. I can really relate to that, my ex likes to push my buttons, I find it so hard to understand why he does it when being reasonable would take much less effort, but then I remind myself that towards the end of our marriage he wasn't a good husband so its unlikely that he'll be a good ex-husband!!
Good luck with your interview, it sounds crazy to make you interview for a job you already do!!
thanks pancakequeen - I cannot claim innocence though or a desire for reasonableness (is there such a word!)
In summary I hate him for lying and cheating on me - I hate that he is with my ex best friend (VEW)
He was a bad husband and not a great father either
But after nearly 20 years together old habits die hard
I don't want him anymore but I will not be walked all over and if just once he had said sorry for what he had done maybe there would have been a way forward
Having said all that I will not be treated badly by him now and he doesn't like it that I stand up to him
Today I made a resolution to ignore him completely unless it is to do with contact with the kids - I can live without him and have done so successfully for 9 months
Tomorrow is another day
Hi LRH,
Sorry for putting words into your mouth, I should have read all your thread before making comments and asumptions.
It sounds like you have had a rough time. I know what you mean about old habits, its hard when you have a history together that spans a long time. I was with my ex 18 years before it all broke down and although it was my decision to leave I still find it hard, wondering if i made the right choice etc.
How long are your children away?
don't apologise pancakequeen - it is a long thread!
I just wanted to make sure I was portraying myself as an angel
Others know me too well
My kids are away for 10 days - it feels like forever but I am trying really hard to enjoy myself - just arranged another lunch with a friend on Friday
That sounds nice. My ex has just started taking my girls out for a whole day at the weekend so I have been rediscovering my passion for being a 'lady that lunches'
Lady that lunches, eh, PQ? where do you like to go?
LRH you have lots arranged, make sure you have time for chilling too. What you say is right....there really IS no need for you to have contact with the girls' dad apart from regarding his parenting time. Don't worry, we know you are not an angel but we do know you are a great person
Hi Louise,
Anywhere I have a voucher for!! Being a lady that lunches can be an expensive habit!!
LRH, hope you had a good day yesterday.
omg the horse riding was hard,wonderful and scary all at the same time
I doubt I will do it again though - I felt so unstable (pardon the pun!)
It is harder than I remember - I know I was an experienced rider many years ago
I have realised how unfit I was and to do rising trot was agony
When I got off my horse my legs buckled and I had to stand for about 5 mins as my legs would just not move - I was really scared because I had watched a programme about a girl who had done a spinning class and ended up in hospital because her muscles went into shock or something like that
Eventually I got to my car and sat for a while but found driving home really difficult
I had a shower and then sat using a massager on my leg muscles - got a hot water bottle and went to bed - within 10 minutes my knee was in agony - I couldn't straighten or bend it - I had to put a cushion under it - I barely slept and felt sick most of the night.
It sounds weird but I am so glad I did it - sad that it is one of my dreams to start riding again and I know I never will -
Feeling a bit sorry for myself today but going to the The Angels Share and out for pizza so need to keep moving I feel
Have a good day everyone
Ooh well I am glad you enjoyed the riding but very sorry to hear about the resulting pain. Hope it eases through the day and you can enjoy the things you have lined up.
Oh dear, sounds very painful lrh. Best to keep moving today so you don't sieze up, I always find nurofen (if you're not allergic) really helpful if your muscles are stiff, and ice is probably better than the hot water bottle.
Hope it feels better quickly.
How's your knee this morning, lrh?
ok thanks after putting ice on and massaging it quite a lot yesterday
got my interview this morning
spoke to kids last night - eldest told me that the idiot had told them he wasn't in his flat anymore but didn't think to tell them where he was now going to be living - getting kids to do his dirty work is really the pits as far as I am concerned - I cried after I spoke to them and phoned the helpline that has helped me so much in recent months 
time to pull myself together for my interview
It is always disappointing and hurtful when someone we once trusted behaves in such a low-down way. Glad that you were able to talk on the Helpline.
And GOOD LUCK for your interview, you will be fine....knock 'em sideways!!!
I will try - thanks for your good wishes - I hope to hear later today - got beer in fridge to celebrate or drown sorrows
Sending you good luck vibes lrh.....I'll join you in a nice cold beer later to celebrate
I got the job
yaaaaayyyyyy.....it must be beer o'clock
Woohoo! Congratulations! Cheers! and Salute! Well done you, so you will now have a few more hours. I hope you have a lovely, stressfree evening :)
HOORAY! I know it was not your ideal scenario but it was the best thing you could go for, well done for your success!!!!!
thanks for your good wishes - if I am honest it is probably going to be highly political and awful but I don't care - I need the job and I am not going to let anyone stop me from working - I will just have to handle it.
Sadly my friend was unwell today and couldn't meet for lunch so I had a lazy day - am reading Love, Death and Vanilla Slices by Jenny Eclair - I am really enjoying it
Not sure what is on cards for tomorrow - I have a friend with her leg in plaster - her sons have gone away with their dad but she is not committing to a coffee tomorrow so I will just have to wait and see
Tomorrow is my last day on my own - looking forward to having the girls back and then ask me that again on Sunday night!!
I am taking a break from the boards - thanks to everyone who has supported me
I am sad if you are taking a break but if that is what feels right, then of course. We are here when you want to pop in again. Hope you enjoy getting your girls back again, you have done really well this week, take care and hope to talk to you again soon, we will miss you
Sorry you feel you need to take a break lrh. Come back soon x
Hi lrh, it has been great having you around. I hope all is well with you and your choice to leave us is a positive one.
We are here as and when you want us Missing you already!
Louise or Anna is it possible to delete this thread - Its unlikely I will be back and would prefer it was deleted if possible?
That's a shame and we are sorry to hear that, very much so. I feel sure that ALL regular members would wish you to stay.
The thread, all the threads, are the property of SPAN, as far as I understand the rules so I don't think it will be deleted. What I can do, if you wish, is mark the thread "read only" so no more comments can be posted to it. As you know, threads appear in order of most recent post. If we moved the thread to the very busy Introduce Yourself Section then it would disappear from the first page of Introduce Yourself within a very short time....would this make you feel a little more comfortable?
Another thing you may like to consider it to change your user name, if the current one is one you use elsewhere.
Hope this helps some.
no it doesn't matter then Louise - thanks anyway
Hi lrh,
Its a shame you are leaving the forums. I haven't known you long but you have been very supportive and friendly and I shall miss you.
Hope you are ok.
Hope you're ok lrh.
Ex would never let the children contact me when they were with him...