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my situation bit different, i av non molestation order on my ex, and residency order is now in my favour, for saftey of my little girl,thts wot cafcass said, i dotn have to see him,but i do worry bout if he gets supervised , id otn want bump into him , cafacs sl;ady said there are big concerns how contact wud b managed cos of my fear of ex and risk to me, so im prayin non contact in june, but stil its wrong ur ex astil abusin u and it as to stop, surly sumone in authrity can do summatx
Hi IDT. How are you feeling this morning? How are the pains? Perhaps you could pop along to your Dr's surgery at some point, they know you, and the situation you're in don't they? At least then, it'll be on record what has happened to you over the weekend.
Hi hazeleyes thankyou :) im fine if I stay still but if I move I can feel it, I really don't know what to do I carnt see anything there myself,
hi im doin this u cant look after ur children in pain like tht, wot bout infection hun, please get checked out, its ur kids dad tht as dun this to me, it must b reported , and out on record,if u leave it hun he keep doin it, it make u ill, u need b right to look after ur childrenx
Good morning Imdoingthis. You need to do 2 things today.
1) make a doctors appointment
2) contact the police.
There is no other way to deal with this. I am presuming that the children were around when he was shouting and throwing glasses around?
It is not ok for you to keep doing the handover and now is the time to start recognising this and putting more changes in motion.
I know you hate the police getting involved, but even if you were a hardened criminal, you still have the right to be safe from violence. I don't know what has happened with them in the past, but I know that you feel terribly guilty and that you think that they frown on you, however, this is a different scenario.
So please even if you don't go to the GP (which would really help your case), phone your local police station and get some advice. The only way this doesn't carry on is if you stand up and get YOUR voice heard.
This is never going to 'settle down' where the handovers go smoothly and you smile at each other and share intimate details of your childrens day - however much you wish/want it - that is just NOT going to happen.
Now you in battle and it is your word against his, you want/need to protect your family and the only way to do this is to use the authorities to your advantage.
hi im doin this how are u av u read last post to ux
Hi thanks I just need to think about it x
The more evidence you have against this man, then there's more that can be done. You think you have glass inside you, you have scratches where the glass made impact. This is all evidence, and the Dr could quite clearly see what has happened.
Thanks for all the advice x
We I think it's to late, yes I have some scratches? That don't prove nothing, whos to say he did it? It's happened to me before and no one will believe me trust me police say they will,I know they have to say that to me that doesnt mean they mean that either ? It's just not happening they won't believe me so I'm not putting myself through that again.
X
hun u cant keep letin this vile man getin away with wot he is doing to u, mother of his kids,these men do get away with wot they are doin unless u get police involved and professionals, i no wot u think bout police, i thought tht as well,so wot bout next time eh, wot wil he do next
The police hate me they think I'm shit and they arrested me I'm on bail when iv don e nothing wrong, no way will I be believed in fact it will look like I'm slinging mud at him for being arrested won't it?
the police were patronising to me as well, well sum of um sum were nice and understanding,aw hun, must b summat u can do, have u spoke to womans aid, are u stil goin to freedom programmex
It's took me all day to figure this out last night I needed some perspective on it I needed tome to think x
Hi IDT, i can understand that you want to think about what you are going to do, but if you leave it to long you are more likely to talk yourself out of doing anything about it and start to minimise what he has done.
If you feel you can't talk to the police, at least go to the doctor and get checked out, what about talking to your WA support worker, at least then she could log what has happened.
Nothing will change if you do nothing about it!
Anyone online Kiera hazeleyes ?
Morning IDT
How are you today? It sounds to me as if you are at a turning point, the first step is accepting that nothing will change if you don't take any action....it is not going to settle down or EVER be normal, as the others rightly say. Very sad but very true.
Can you phone the WA lady today?
Hi Louise, it's a problem if I tell wa lady shell tell police anyway, it's just best left alone x
It will calm down when the dust settles from court.
But I think it is GOOD if the wa lady tells the police! Whatever you feel about them, they have a duty to log this and take any neccessary action, otherwise you may just get a glass thrown at you again. What if it had gone in your face?
hi im doing this louise is right, what if glass ad gon in ur face, and scarrred u, wot then are u gona say it b fien, what bout ur kids hun, pe dontkeep letin this vile man get away withwot he is doin to u, dust wont settle hun, it never wil when u keep brushin wot he is doin under carpet, please do somethingx
Thankyou both,I will ring her.
Hi IDT, I know it is a hard decision and you just want all this to go away. But it isn't going to until he realises that you won't stand for it.
It is very normal, as Sally said, to minimise this, it means that you don't have to deal with it and it will go away, however, it really doesn't just go away on its own, you have to keep on top of it.
I am really proud of you for deciding to call womens aid, its not easy. What did they say?
I appreciate all your help I really do, but it didn't hit me in the face and it wasn't that bad at all I probably made it sound worse and now it seems bad when it's not,
I don't want to make a fuss when it's nothing x I want to move on and not think about him I have things better than this in our future x
I do think this is getting out of proportion :(
Ok I hear what you say, but actually he hurt you (I am guessing it is because you are almost getting "used to it" after so much bad treatment over the years that you think we are getting it out of proportion)
Hi IDT. I don't for one minute think this is getting out of proportion. The man glassed you in your stomach, and you're getting non stop hassle from him. He hurt you, you yourself said you were in pain when you moved. I wouldn't care whether the police believed me or not, you have every right to report him. What happens when the next handover takes place?
We all want you to be safe, and we can only give advice, people to reach out too, that can help you on the 'outside'
You're right though, you do have better things in your future, and it's good to forget what's happened, but what about the next time/if there is a next time?
I feel upset like your all against me, I feel like I'm odd and I don't like it no one was there
And I don't knowwhu I'm talking like this on a public foram tbh
We're not against you IDT, far from it, like I said, we're all here to help and support you. You're not odd at all. What do you mean no one was there? Like the rest of us, 'chatting' on this forum, you're looking for the advice and support, and hopefully, we are giving you that. Please don't feel upset though IDT
IDT we are on your side and no-one is against you, we just think that no-one should be able to treat you like that and get away with it 
And Louise I'm not 'used to it' it's not like that it's as bad as your making out,Your trying to make it worse it's really not.
IDT, we can only go by what you are saying on here. No one is trying to make out it's worse than what it is, we're only guided by your posts. I'm in total agreement with Louise, no one should be treated the way that you have been, and are still being. Like I said before, whether the police believed me or not, I would have reported it, then it's all logged down. I completely understand why you're reluctant to do so, and your ex knows this, so he continues to harrass, bully, and assault you.
I
did
Hope you're feeling okay today.
Hello IDT I really don't know what to say to you. You have told us of how terrified you are and have hinted about lots of difficult things between you and your ex. We want to support you but it is hard if when we suggest it is important to get help, you say that we are wrong. Many years of experience have shown me that IN GENERAL, victims of abuse can find it hard to recognise that abuse because it has happened so much that THAT is their reality...in other words they become "used to it" If you have not been subjected to abuse on a regular basis over the years, so much that it has become hard to recognise it as abuse then I offer you my sincere apologies because I have genuinely got the message from your posts that you have had years of abuse to tolerate.
I'm upset today don't know why really,it's when's it's written down like I'm used to it makes me feel like I'm nothing worthless, it's because it's written and not spoken words x
Ok I understand...maybe I put it in a really bad way. I meant your perception of what is abuse was different to mine. You know like, I have a really bad foot and if someone sees that I have to wear bandages all the time they say oh no that's terrible, you are in pain, it is hard for you to wear shoes. What they say is true, but I don't think it is awful because my foot has been bad for three years and I am "used to it" (it is my reality)and quite surprised the other person thinks like that.
I am very sorry indeed that you feel worthless. It is because I think you are so very worthwhile that I want you to see that how he treated you WAS WRONG. This is really hard for you, I know,
Of course you're not worthless IDT. You say when it's written down, and not words that are spoken. I'm just wondering when you speak to the WA lady, doesn't she offer similar advice as us?
Not sure if that makes sense?
Hazeleyes yes it does and she does say the same advice yes, she knows I lime to take my time she don't pressure me and understands me well,but has supported me for a ling time more than she's ment to do, but I know once I tell her it will get to police then they act,regardless and she fills in marac forms it then blows up I don't like it.
Louise it's not you I understand what you mean this is my normal and that's why it's good to go back to not that I like it but it's familiar almost feels safe in a strange way.
It's the fact that I don't like to admit/say it or see it written down.x
hi im doing this, how are u today. hope ur ok, we are just worried bout u, this man is stil abusing u, he as no right at all to abuse , its not gud for kids at handover either, its wrong, needs to go bk court, and sort it out where u dont av to see him, cos u dont av tox
Hi IDT, you sound very wobbly at the moment, you are right at the beginning of the rest of your life and I imagine it all seems very daunting.
Am I right in thinking that the glass incident happened on the Sunday just gone, or did it happen some time ago? I have just re-read your post on Sunday and although you mention the incident, you also said that you didn't see him, so I am wondering if this didn't happen at the weekend.
If it happened a while ago, I understand your reluctance to raise it now, if it did happen at the weekend just gone, the thing to think about is 'How did you feel, when it happened?'
If you felt fear, then this is abuse and you deserve to be protected. If you felt numb, then it is our job to point out that it is abuse and you need to do something about it. If you felt fine about it, you wouldn't have mentioned it.
I think members on these boards are very fond of you and want to see you come through this. I believe you do feel supported by us and you want to move forward.
If I said to you that last night I upset my boyfriend and "he went nuts around me, I froze I didn't move or speak , it was like I wasn't there, I didn't speak or look at him I kept my head down" what would you say to me?
Hi Anna What do you mean wobbly as with him? Or not No Sunday was an extra contact day and I didn't see him then it's a resent thing, and I felt petrified I didn't dare move ;( didn't like it put it that way. I do feel supported that's why I come back when i need help, iv talked very openly and freely on here and received some great advice and it's got me through some s**t, I know you know I'm not so open now for obvious reasons but I still do tell you things and how I feel.sometimes I need to 'thrash things' to work through them do u know what I mean? It helps me. Well it sounds different when you turn it around doesn't it but any situation would I guess? When I read what u all right especially kiera ( cos I know she's been through it, I don't know others sit, I think iv wrote something wrong and it's like you not talking about my life. It doesn't seem bad and yesterday I felt strange like why were you all writing one thing and I'm thinking non of that, I know your not wrong. And I feel confused again today a bit mixed up I feel lost Hi kiera I don't want to go back to court I have no strength to fight anything else, I just want it to calm down it's been a hard year and it just needs leave me alone so we can just get over it and I don t know live in piece I guess x
I am trying to put this together in perspective but its muddy I carnt see it, I felt like this before then things were clear again after court I was focused and things were clear I was focused on the children and felt happy, I don't like feeling like this I am overtired thanks to son 5 who's two and full of beans at five each morning
I feel like I'm literally rambling on and on and I have no focus I'm talking b*locks so sorry x
You do have a focus and that is your children. As well as yourself, you have been fighting for them too.
hi hun im same i dont want to go bk court in june.i dreaded last hearing,want b left alone in peace,thts all i want, its bin hard year for me to hun, im sorry hun, i am here for u, one space as bin loads support for me since last year, x
Hi IDT, when I said wobbly, I was meaning that your mind feels like it is all over the place, which is completely normal. One minute you feel strong and prepared to battle the world, then perhaps the next minute you are questioning yourself, then you are wondering what all the fuss is about.
You were feeling good after court, you had a good chat with the womens aid worker, then the weekend happened and it knocked you back again, I think partly because you had hoped that things had been sorted but also because you hadn't been mentally prepared for his behaviour.
I really feel for you and want you to know that everyone here is rooting for you. I don't think you will realise the extent of the abuse you have suffered (and survived) for quite a while. Things have been twisted, manipulated and become really horrible for you.
Now you are overtired from your early morning bird! And also exhausted from years of trauma.
Apart from your womens aid worker, do you see a counsellor?
Thanks for the support everyone it is helping I need it right now x
Kiera it has been a tough a year, thanks for being there Hun it's nice to know I can talk on here when I have no one else x
Anna thankyou and no I don't( I did briefly) when I just left him, but it didn't work well in that
I couldn't talk in any sense about it( police said I talk in short burst that don't flow or make sense I was a mess.
Second that I needed feedback not just knods and "ah ha 's and third that there were silanses that she got frustrated with me shed fidget tap i felt not at ease so I stopped going and it was expensive even though aranged through wa I had to pay childcare x
When you I will realize extent the only thing I think is maybe I don't know any different ?
Took kids up here now x
I guess no-one really knows how long it will take, IDT. Shame your counselling was not a good experience for you, maybe it was not the right time, I wonder if further down the line it would be useful though?
Ooh you must be exhausted with yout 5am human alarm clock!
Just to re-ierate, everyone on here wishes you well and wants to support you through this next part of your journey 
Thankyou Louise x
You are help I think you see it clearly as it is, I don't I see it as happy families but it isn't is it, I see what I want to see not what it is really like.
I went to court with my wa lady for support
He had twenty plus his family there, I got ripped to bits by his barista for having someone there for me but he had a family day out to court with kids x
I don't know how to not have to see him