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I'm at a loss as to why he is allowed to use manipulate the children so much, he doing what he likes telling them what he likes keeping them off school
Turning them against me, but seems to manage to pull the wool over the eyes of the professionals
How do men like him get off on hurting their children?
I have lost faith in any system that is ment to protect myself and my children and if I had off got help when I needed it then things wouldn't be half as bad as they are.
The only people that seem to understand is WA.What else can I do?
No one understands it and no one gives a damb he's stopped him going to stronger families now too after he did so well the first week.
I am done with all this no one gets it no one
I'm screaming out for help someone please help me
Hello Imdoingthis,
I'm sorry to come back on the boards and find that you're still having a tough time with your ex.
It is illegal for your ex to keep the children off school, and is actionable by law. If you think this is happening, I suggest you talk to the school about it (as Louise mentioned in her post).
What do you mean by 'I'm done with all this'? That seems a vague statement - and quite a worrying one if read in a certain way.
We are here for you at One Space- even if it is just a place where you can off load.
When do you next have contact with WA?
Mary
WA are the only ones that understand how he manipulates these ' professional' ( laugh) people and I have to say it like that because it's a joke.
It means exactly what it says I'm done with all this it's over, and I'm done
I can only take so much Iv reached my fill
Hello I'm doing this....so if you have had enough then what do you think would be your course of action? if you are at risk of hurting yourself then it is vital that you see your doctor.
The system carnt protect us so it's go back let him get on with it is my thoughts
Ah I see, thanks for clearing that up, you are tired of fighting and it seems simpler to go back to him?
He does what he likes and gets away with it he hurts me F***s up my kids heads that's ok
I carnt do this anymore I'm hurting that much I'm numb
I don't want to be here
I'm doing this, please please phone someone....the HV, Women's Aid, Samartians, you need someone to talk to.
Please do speak to someone...
I talked till I'm blue I banged my head till it hurts if I lose my kids then I carnt do it I carnt I hate this life I'm stuck inside
But you haven't lost them, Imdoingthis...and you've done your best to take them away from a situation that was no good for them or you.
We do understand your frustration and anger at a system which has failed you - but please don't give up. You've fought so hard.
I hope you do think of someone you can open up to about how you're feeling.
Hugs,
Mary
I don't know what to do no way out
It's a mess and Iv lied to protect him dropped charges he's made threats again I have to not invite him here I'm confused
What do you want to do, Imdoingthis?
It's horrible to feel lost and stuck; how can we support you right now?
I want to feel safe Mary
Is there anywhere that you do feel safe; a friend's house perhaps?
I don't like the thought of you been on your own with what you're feeling.
Not really
I carnt think straight
It's hopeless there's no way out I'm into his web of shit
hi hun aw u sound really desperate, wer are all ere for u, i no it prob dont elp but u av b stronmg, i do no how u are feeling really i do,there is way out, ive felt desperate as well, but u musnt go bk to tht man, i kept takin my ex bk, got me nowhere but dfelt whole lot worse,u wil get there u and ur kids,x
I have been at this point - you need to contact social services and the police if you think something illegal is happening. There is always a way out, been there and done it!
Get professional help, speak to your: GP, social services, CAMHS - mental health team.
Hello I'm doing this, I know you feel at the end of your tether with all the authorities and just so tired of it all. How did you sleep? How are the children?
I carnt do this I'm not even gona try
The kids I don't know upset confused I'm not sure
Hi Imdoingthis, it is understandable that you and the children feel the way you are right now, your going through a new phase and that alone can be unsettling, but you also have the added extra of shifting your way through emotions and all manner of other stuff that you have not been able to do up until now.
It would be really good if you could find someone to talk with or if you find that to difficult try writing everything down, we are here to listen as well, i know how alone and isolated you can feel at a time like this so it is great that you are coming on here and sharing some of what is going on for you.
What do you have planned for today? I always found that i if i had something to do it would help me to take my mind of all that kept going round in my head and making me fill stuck.
You can do this, imdoingthis you are stronger than you think!
Sending lots of hugs your way
Thanks Sally no one wants to know my hv was good at the begining everything's a mess I don't want all this why is he doing this to me it's one big mess if he kills us then people will see.
Today I have to take the children to to his house despite everything the court of law says that's safe and ok so my panic attacks already started just because it's Friday.there's no way out.
Imdoingthis call Womensaid on 0808 2000 247 they will be able to talk you through this, would someone else be able to take the children for their contact time?
You could message our legal expert on here to see if they can suggest away forward around you having to take the children to have contact, click for link, would you be able to get referred to a contact centre?
I know it is difficult for you right now, but it will all work out right in the end, this is part of your process of recovery you will come out of this even stronger than you are already it just won't fill like it right now.
Please be good to yourself and ring for some support.
Thankyou I appreciate all your help
It doesn't feel like anythings going to make me feel better only him and I know that's not good.
See how confused I am carnt you? And how messy it is Rollercoasters an understatement
Hi All
excuse me for butting in, but this chain of messages is a bit confusing to me. Imdoingthis - when you said `him` are you referring to your ex?
M66
Yes him is ex
What is that all about? You are giving the impression to me, that you are after your ex's approval?
My heads cloudy but what do you mean ?
Are you still looking to your ex?
I'm not putting it here for now Iv set my alarm for two hours I'm tired then I'm going down I need to sleep
Mark 66 I dint know what you mean?
It does not matter, I could help you, but not sure this site allows me to?
If you want any advice you may talk to the stalf on this site or ask me, they seem more qualified.
Hi imdoingthis. I really hope tomorrow is a better day for you, and you wake feeling more refreshed. Take care, and don't forget, there's always someone at the end of the phone to talk too.
Hello I'm doing this, you sound tired out! Hope you got a decent sleep.
Thinking of you, did you get on Ok with dropping the kids for contact with him yesterday?
Her prison without bars
Her life in his hands
Her feet would tap
In a trance, she danced
She smiled he'd stare, that glare
Her air gone non left to breath
Sucked dry, she's left to cry
His trance now gone, invisible to the outside world
Her glass box her windowd world
Lost alone afraid
Fear of a free world
Baby steps she walked
Prison she left
Those gates behind
Sweet freedoms insain
Her insides ace
Her Thoughts Amis
her arms to kiss
A spiralled world
Eyes see black it's dark
End insight
Her spark not left to ignite x
Hi imdoingthis. Have you been able to speak to anyone yet, over how you're feeling? I'm so sorry that you're feeling so low.
No I havnt, I carnt.
People know that I'm going through a hard time.
What's the saying when your on your own your on your own , too true.
Thanks for your post it helps x
I know you don't want to write it all down here on One Space, but have you considered e.mailing someone like Louise, Anna? I'm sure this is okay to do, and then once they see the whole picture, they then might be able to come up with something.
I'm not sure that's gonna help my situation really.
I don't really think anyone can help me, I have had help from agencies they are aware of my kids, shame their all blind though.
Thanks hahazeleys x
HIM The caring farther
Body of a python
Fist of a elephant
Voice of a lion
Tonge of a snake
Strength of a ant
Mind of a fox
Game of a cat
Jealousy of a buck
Beuty of a leopard
Are these your own Imdoingthis?
It's the only way I feel I can 'talk' right now
It's my thoughts poured onto paper.
Your poems are a brilliant way to express your feelings I'm doing this. I know that you have been in touch with agencies etc and I hope that in time this will be effective help but I understand that you feel very alone with this at the moment. I hope you will keep your writings and make a collection of them as they are very evocative.
I am alone
No choices left either I'm trapped and that's it x
There's no point to non of this it's just hopeless I just carnt do it.
He's never going to stop
Hello I'm doing this, I am sorry not to have a clear answer for you. I am glad that WA are being understanding about this, are they in the local Safer Communities partnership? If so then they will have some contacts within the police.
Keeping the children away from the school is indeed a concern, have you been in touch with the school to see if there is a Pupil Support Service?
What does your solicitor say?