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Hi MummyEmma1991,
I was just saying hello to you on the other thread and asking about your baby. I am so glad that you have got away from the awful violence :D
Hi MummyEmma1991
Thanks for sharing some of your story, we have quite a few members on One Space who have been through similar situations. It is not unusual for abusive partners to become violent when their partner is pregnant.
Have you been in touch with Womens Aid for support now? http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
I also wanted to ask if you have heard of the Freedom Programme? It is written for survivors of domestic abuse to unravel all the beliefs that they have, that have been manipulated by an abusive ex. Find a programme near you, I would really recommend it: http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/freedomprogramme/venues.cfm
You can read more about it in our Info Library in the Abuse and Violence section: http://www.onespace.org.uk/articles/abuse-and-violence
Looking forward to talking with you more. :)
my story starts the same as everyone elses thought we would be together forever we got engaged and had our first child then another one it was a long engagment about 4yrs and then he finally persuaded me to get married so we booked the wedding but even then i still backed out sayin i couldnt go through with it which then caused alot of arguments so again i gave in and married him i did have doubts on the day but felt like it was to late so went ahead anyway but my doubts were right as soon as we were married he changed he thought he owned me started bein possesive and would scream and shout if i went out even shopping with my mum if i was longer than an hour this went for a while but then it progressed to a temper he started throwing things at me smashing thing up all infront of the 2kids but what was the end for me was when he started pushing me around and locked me in the bedroom cos i asked if i could go on a camping wk end with my brother that was when i realised i couldnt put myself or my kids through it and kicked him out ive now been a single mum for 4mths and in that time ive had threats abuse and threats of kidnapping the kids i have stopped all contact as my solicitor and myself dont think he is stable enough to be involved
joanne
I'm so sorry you went through all that joanne.
I'm so relieved that you all are now safe.
I hope he's leaving you in peace.
he is now ive changed my phone number and im on with housing associations trying to move so he doesnt know where we all are. i know other people have been worse so i dont think about it all or feel sorry for myself its all about me and kids now so i just get on with it nothin else i can do but be strong for the kids especially cos my eldest understands as she is 4yrs old and she ask about her dad and when will she see him etc and she is also terrified of men im guessing its because of her dad and the things he has said and done my youngest is ok as she is 2yrs old so doesnt understand too much
joanne
Hi rowlandsjo
Thanks for sharing, that sounds horrendous for you and the kids. Well done for getting out of this relationship. You're right ,it is all about them and their security. I know you have had some bahviour problems with one of your childresn, that we discussed in another thread, but stick with it and you will come through
Take care
Hi rowlands.jo
Thanks for sharing your story....
You sound like you are being very strong. You say you know that others have been through worse, but what you have been through is pretty horrific, I hope that you will give yourself time at some point to think about it. Maybe now isn't the right time as you have to be in control with your children etc, but you do need some time to grieve, not only for the loss of your future dreams, but for the grief you have undeservedly had to put up with.
Are you in touch with Womens Aid or a similar organisation?
i did think about it alot when i first kicked him out but the second he was out of the front door i just felt relieved it was like i was free he did keep ringin me so i changed my number i am free from him now so i dont think about the past just the future and even though its hard at the minute with the kids i know we will have a good future. no im not in touch with any organisations cos im very stubborn so if i have a problem i deal with it and wont ask 4 help even though sometimes i know i should but dont want people to think im struggling ive had the health visitor out today to assess me bein new to the single parent life and where i thought i wasn't coping she said im coping very well so i do feel better about things a little :) another reason i dont think about it cos alot of his abuse was mental so if i do think about it all im worried it will just mess with my head again and im just started to think clearly again so dont want that to change i dont want him to have that hold over me so i just put it to the back of my mind and forget it its just easier that way
joanne
hi everyone im coral new to all this, im a single mum of 2, my daughter is 8 and my son is 6 and im 30, basically i met the man of my dreams, that i thaught was the man of my dreams, he was careing, loving, kind, generous everything a girl looks for had my children and he was a great dad thaught all was going well for the 8yrs we were married until one day he just decided he didnt want to be married anymore and wasnt happy, it was a total shock to me because i thaught we were ok.
we dont talk or have any contact with each other (his choice) but sees my children every wkend friday to sunday, its very hard even now 2yrs down the line and just cant seem to find a decent man about, but who knows lol i mite be surprised one day,
im glad i found this site its good to know we not alone
hi savannah
Welcome to One Space. I'm a single mum to my 7 year old. We have been on our own since day one, so I haven't experienced what you have. I have heard a lot that some men wake up one day and realise that they didn't want 'that' life. Maybe it's a midlife crisis!!!!!!!! It's great that he still has regular contact with the children. They need stability, so it's fantastic that they have this.
Don't they say, if you don't look, then one day, the man (or woman) will turn up!
Well, I haven't looked for years, and no one has come my way either :lol: :lol: :lol:
Glad too, that you found this site, you are definately not alone!!!
Hope you have a good evening
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi savannah
Welcome to One Spcae, it is good that you have found us, there is lots of online support and friendship here :D You're right, it can still hurt a long time down the line but it is great that the children still have a relationship with their father. I promise you that there are some great guys out there, it just takes a while to meet one ;)
Hi my names J a single dad for now over 4 months, had been married for 17years and together 20, we married when i was 23 and my wife just 19, had 4 amazing children, 6, 14 + 14 Twins! and one 16 2 boys 2 girls, the twins were born 10 weeks prem and both have cerebral palsy, isaac confined to wheelchair and and Zoe just wobbley (not a medical term) for 14 years life has been very hard dealing with the struggles of caring for children with disabilies and it took a toll on both of us and our marriage, 2 years ago i found i had a sti and my wife confessed to having had and ended an affair with a lifer from a local prison (great choice!) I told her i loved her and didnt want it to be the end so we ploughed on through good times and bad but generally things slowly seemed to be getting better. In may we had our first family holiday abroad and all seemed well, a in July she seemed sad more often than not, and after we had both left for work i texted her to ask why she was so sad all the time, i got home to find a letter saying she couldnt do it any longer and had left.
I have the kids, Isaac spends the week at a residential school so i have 3 monday to friday and 4 on the weekends, my ex (that sticks in my throat) has the 3 2 evenings after school and then the 4 once a fortnight on weekends, there is no way i would of ever left her or the kids so i may have backed her into a corner in having to leave kids with me, and i hate the look of shock when people manly women hear she left the kids.
2 months on a friend of both of ours who had told me to give her space and time, came round to tell me they were dating, he suggested i could hit him and admitted he as a Sh*t, but i didnt give him the satisfaction, i struggle with how she can move on so quickly after 20 years together.
The things i mainly struggle with are
her always bringing the kids back early when its her time with them
her thinking its ok for her new man to take our youngest to school after weekends she has them, whilst saying he will never replace me as their father
still loving her i guess, and being made to feel responsible when she tells me shes struggling to have money for food let alone think about buying kids xmas presents, i have a good job which i manage to fit round being there for kids, the family home and the kids, when i suggested she gave some money to their upkeep she said she couldnt afford to and had been told she could charge me rent for her half of house, but wouldnt if i wouldnt ask her for money, because of having disabled kids the house is adapted so we cant sell it and split the difference, so its complicated.
I guess i better stop otherwise anyone reading may lose will to live.
through the imense pain get joy from the kids
Hello j4ever
Welcome to One Space! You certainly have got your hands full with a job and the kids. I can see that you have a range of things
that are bothering you. I know it must be hurtful when she brings the kids home early and also you can feel some hurt on everyone's behalf (including the kids') when other people are so quick to judge her for leaving. There is a wonderful organisation called MATCH which supports mums apart from their kids, just thought I would mention it in case it is useful to you or any other members.
Backto you: you still love her and it is difficult for you to understand why all this has happened when you never would have left. and now there is another man involved, taking our little one to school. Life has been hard for you two, bringing up the family and by her "leaving you to it" it can feel like a double betrayal. I think that when bad things happen, disbelief is one of the very first emotions that hits us. Have you had some support for yourself, J? I am thinking about counselling etc, you can get it through your GP. I am guessing that you are so busy that you don't get much time for yourself.
Re the money, if you are joint owners out of the house then it would be possible for either of you to go to court and get a ruling about how much of it each of you owned, although it is likely that any payment to her would be deferred until the youngest was grown up. If the house is rented, then the tenancy should be changed to your sole name. I understand that she is telling you she is holding off any action on the house if you do not pursue her for child maintenance. Perhaps you could get the situation about what would happen with the house clarified? Personally I would not worry too much about her shortage of money, you are the one with the kids and you need to think about yourselves
Hope you will stay wiuth us and keep posting, there's lots of support here :)
look of shock when people manly women hear she left the kids
+1 to experiencing that.
I'm a single dad too though we have absolutely no contact with my X, mum of my two, apart from a letter a month ago asking for a divorce which struck me as strange seeing as I'd been trying to get one for four years, which she always refused and now all of a sudden... but there you go.
As a single dad you will always be judged as some sort of novelty, some women get all oohhh isn't he wonderful and some get all defensive as if you're somehow invading women only territory. Most things, I was going to say everything but luckily that is not so.. to do with being a parent is geared towards women, so all the sort of courses and clubs for single parents are nearly all exclusively women, in my nearly five years as a single parent I've met one other single dad and been told about another. I realise there are more just not in the circles within which I mix. So I'm always confronted with staff that don't really know how to deal with me, handing me A4 printouts full of words like mum, mummy and such, if you get what I mean.
But apart from that, constant, element to being a single dad, I love it and apart from all the hassle my wife has given me it's been an entirely positive experience.
i struggle with how she can move on so quickly after 20 years together.
Don't let it get you down, Some people find it very easy to jump from one person to another.
I'm sure if you hand about here at onespace people will give you lots of good advice, there are some nice people here.... and here is mine : )
Don't worry about it, deal with your children and loving them and doing stuff for them around them, be it keeping a roof over their heads, fed clothed, happy all that. That's the most important thing, well apart from keeping your self happy and health as without YOU none of the other stuff will happen. I have gotten my kids, finally! to understand that from seven in the evening is DADDY TIME, so bugger off and entertain yourselves. ..and they generally do.
But good luck, I expect it will be difficult dealing with stuff in the beginning but it passes and a few years down the line you will be able to look back and smile. I do anyway because everything that we have now is all worth everything we went through to get here.
Later
Simon.
Hi J
Welcome to One Space. Wow, you certainly have your hands full with not only the children but also holding down a job. I absolutely take my hat off to you. :)
Speaking as a woman, I cannot imagine ever leaving my son. Perhaps your wife couldn't cope, and left them in your care, because she realised that you'd be able to take care of them better than she could on her own.
I'm sorry you are going through all of this. You obviously still love her, and so you are still hurting an awful lot.
From the sounds of it, you are doing a great job all round.
look forward to chatting to you
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Bubblegum
I don't know what it is about your posts, but every time I read one from you, it always makes me smile :)
What I'm really seeking advice from you about, is how do you get the kids to 'bugger' off at a certain time to give you 'me' time. :o
I'm doing something so wrong here, as I've told my son for a year now, and he just won't listen. :evil:
I hope you and the kids are keeping well
Take care
Alison
x :)
j4ever here
thanks for the positive replies
Helo J,
hope you stick around on here. people are great on here. I have not been on much lately so sorry to all otheres I have missed in the intro's & hello to you all.
Hi Bubblegum
I don't know what it is about your posts, but every time I read one from you, it always makes me smile :)
I have often wanted to say that to you myself bubblegum! I don't know what it is either, but they also make me smile :D
Pansy x
Thanx Pansy and alisoncam for your kind words : )
What I'm really seeking advice from you about, is how do you get the kids to 'bugger' off at a certain time to give you 'me' time. :o
I'm doing something so wrong here, as I've told my son for a year now, and he just won't listen. :evil:
They have a very big attic room between them and each of them have a computer, not that I want you to get the idea that I'm rich, I've built them from scraps and donations of old PC that people give me (I do ask) and they both run Linux (not windows) which is free and there is a whole world of free software out there, games and stuff, they play on CBBC they watch videos on youtube, they are been playing on computers since before they could walk so I suppose it's just second nature to them, it's kind of scary to watch how they navigate around stuff.
And apart from that.... Three years of leaping up and down and frothing at the mouth has taught them that sometimes I don't wish to be disturbed.
Seriously though, they don't actually leave me alone for very long, my son does more than my daughter, my daughter will come into my room and say can I sit on your knee, she sort of sits on my knee and I type and operate the mouse around here... anyway, I generally say no! but she just ignores me and sort of pushes herself under my arm and wiggles her way until she's there.
But sometimes on a really good day they will disappear upstairs and do stuff for a few hours, my daughter likes to sing along to youtube videos just like that, maybe I posted that clip here before, sorry if I did.
Hi J4ever
Thanks for the post and being able to explain all that you are going through and feeling at the moment. I echo what some of the others have said about the initial disbelief that it has happened and the lack of understanding about her being able to move on so quickly. I guess we are all very different and deal with these things in different ways.
It sounds like you are cpoing very well with looking after your children and working as well. What do you do work wise? Are they flexible in terms of work hours?
I hope you do find the support and information you need here. Look forward to chatting again soon.
C-L
Love the clip of your daughter singing bubblegum :D
My daughter does this too, except she is much older & singings so the whole street can here & when here friend comes round at the weekend with the mic & amp they BOTH sing at the top of their voices & next door bangs on the wall :lol:
One day I will film them & put on u tube & put link on here for all to see.
Pansy x
That is so lovely bubblegum.
Pansy - my daughter's the same!! A girl thing maybe? :)
I've gotten her a pink guitar too, I'm doing everything to encourage the pair of them to be into music..
They have both asked for microphones for Christmas to plug into their computers and luckily both my neighbours are rarely in and even when they are there is about a meter of age old random stonework between us so very little carries through.
later.
Simon
Pansy - my daughter's the same!! A girl thing maybe? :)
That and pink! with mine at least... where does that come from? I'm convinced it must be something innate. Mind you, my daughter yesterday at Sunday dinner from completely nowhere, I don't know where she got it from, but she is five and I told her to stop messing about, behave and eat her dinner and she basically burped OK! On purpose, it wasn't and accident, not your traditionally girly thing..
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do but I burst out laughing.. : )
I've gotten her a pink guitar too, I'm doing everything to encourage the pair of them to be into music..
They have both asked for microphones for Christmas to plug into their computers and luckily both my neighbours are rarely in and even when they are there is about a meter of age old random stonework between us so very little carries through.
later.
Simon
Pansy - my daughter's the same!! A girl thing maybe? :)
That and pink! with mine at least... where does that come from? I'm convinced it must be something innate. Mind you, my daughter yesterday at Sunday dinner from completely nowhere, I don't know where she got it from, but she is five and I told her to stop messing about, behave and eat her dinner and she basically burped OK! On purpose, it wasn't and accident, not your traditionally girly thing..
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do but I burst out laughing.. : )
mmm. My daughter does the awful burbing - and she's 15...
My daughter used to play the violin, I was gutted when she gave it up.
She might take it up again one day, or maybe you've sown the seeds for some other sort of interest in something musical. I think so long as they are exposed to music and creating it that's all you can do really, my mum sent me for guitar lessons when I was about 10 but I stopped going, it wasn't until I was about 16 that I did it of my own volition : )
Hi there yes I agree with you Bubblegum that music is great for kids and I know from personal experience that they do come back to it. I certainly have. we have just managed to get an old fashioned electric organ from freecycle which is in mint condition and the kids love it. They wake up and it goes on before breakfast, then come home from school and nursery and on it goes and then in the evening too! I love hearing music in the backgroud and I think the organ makes a good sound even if not played hugely well!
All too quickly they get shy of perfomring etc so we might as well encourage it as much as possible while they are young and bold enough!
C-L
Bubblegum, your daughter is truely a star in the making!! I loved it, and the little coughing in between, true professionalism :lol: :lol:
My son got through at school to play the violin, so today for the first time, he has brought it home. Can't play a ruddy thing on it, but he knows some notes so that's a good start I guess. He also has a keyboard, which he loves to tinkle on. I haven't a musical bone in my body, but I do like to give it a go on the keyboard once in a while.
Hope the harmony lasts at yours :)
Take care
Alison
x :)
When I was a kid some friends of the family had a daughter who was learning to play the violin.. she was often the butt of many jokes concerning the killing of cats, even now I can remember the screeching sounds.
She's now an archaeologist.
:)
Oh dear, alisoncam, I didn't realise the violin had NOW ARRIVED! :shock:
Hi Bubblegum, I definitely prefer your daughter's version to the original!
My story is what I wrote on my intro, so I just copied and pasted into here, but just to add I live in Bristol
Well. Where to start? I'm Paul. 39. WAS very happily married for 5 years until march of this year when I found out about her affair. Needless to say I was, and still am, devastated. We have a 2 years old son, little Sam, who is the centre of my world - I love him to pieces and miss him so very badly. I get to see him more than some fathers I have heard of, every week I see him Monday/Tuesday for a couple of hours in the evening and every other weekend he comes and stays with me, so that I guess is good. But my God to I miss being with him, more so that it was not my choice to break the family up.
So - I moved out to a bedsit room in my mates house, which, since it was 2 doors away, was not the best plan as she then moved her new man in with her and my son within about 3 weeks. So I had to stay there while I saved up to rent my own place but it got too much and I now live in a flat with my friend, which is really nice of him. I;m just looking for friends...me and Sam are great together, we play, we laugh, we throw ourselves on the floor and giggle, but I need to talk to people who understand (and dont know Sarah) and Sam needs to meet little people his own age. I think I was doing OK until the clocks changed and then I realised I can;t just take him to the park and play with him until I need to get him ready for her to pick him up. I;m doing OK folks, I think, but like I said I need to meet people who dont want anything from me other than a coffee and a chat and a chance for little Sam to play with some new friends - he's such a beautiful, happy little guy I just cant bear the thought of him not being with other children when it's my time to have him and he's been through so much. And I also want to help and support others who have been or are going through the hell I have been put through.
So hi. Here we are, Sam and me, a bit lonely, a little bit sad but so much to give.
Thanks for sharing your story, Paul G. It must have been torture to live just a few doors from your former partner, sounds like you did the right thing moving into that flat! Hope you find some new online friends here :)
Hi PaulG
Echo Louise, thanks for sharing. You will in time meet people who are quite happy just to meet up for a coffee and chat, do you have a local scamper centre - soft ball play area? If so, are you able to chat aimiably with other parents there, or do you feel a little shy?
I am also wondering what it is like sharing a flat/house with a friend! Is it like being a 20something again, with loud music, boozy nights and baked beans, although it is not where you thought you be a year ago, are you able to enjoy it too??
Hi All,
Ah the joys of flat sharing. It's OK, but my flatmate is hardly ever there and when he is it's very much like living in an episode of Men Behaving Badly! It’s OK, but as a substitute for my family home it doesn’t come close and it’s not really that suitable for Sam, being quite small and he can only really play in my room. Hey, I know there are thousands of people living in worse places so I am very very grateful for what I have, it’s just different and, as the house was in her name only, I just got railroaded. Ok so it’s fun at times, but I feel a bit like the guy in that book “The Best A Man Can Get”.
One good thing though is that my housemate is very very untidy, so I have learned a very valuable lesson in keeping a place up together and the amount of work involved. Never again will I put off a cleaning or tidying job just because The A Team is on TV or I’m a bit cross at my day being stressful. Much as I may not like her very much, I do now totally respect everything Sarah did to keep our house nice (and, come to think of it, my Mum too when I was growing up). Marriage should be a partnership and I do have a better understanding that I didn’t really keep my end up. (Having said that, it’s no excuses for her going off to keep someone else’s end up either!!)
So – we don’t have broadband at home right now, and I will be diving in and out of here from work – is there a way of being e-mail notified if there is a response, or should I just check every now and then? It’s a pain in the bum as I can’t talk in the evenings when it’s loneliest, but by end of next week we should have the connection made.
In the meantime I have a great weekend planned with the little guy and you know, it could be so much worse and have even managed to keep a civil tongue long enough to negotiate an extra half hour with him on the nights I have him and even an extra night each and every week!! Doesn’t look like I’ll have to dress up as batman and go climb a building just yet.
As for a soft play? YEs we have one locally - I find though that people dont really want to chat as they are in their own groups. Shyness is not a problem (I play in a band so it's just not an issue) but I can;t just stick Sam in the ball pit and go off to find someone to chat to. But, I will try harder and see what comes of it. Not many other men down there and those that are, well, they are with their parnters so they either think I;m a) trying to chat up their partner or b) gay and to be honest that just not a lifestyle choice I'm willing to make :lol:
Hi Paul
I can sympathise with you and your flat sharing experience as it does take me back to my college days where I constantly cleared up for other flatmates and their friends as I couldn't stand dirty plates piling up with food drying onto them!
I think the broadband connection will make a huge difference to your lack of contact with the outside world especially in the evenings. As far as I know there is not an email notification service on this site but will check that out for definite and get back to you. Does anyone else know on that one???
The soft play sounds like a good place to go when the days are short, its dark earlier or it is raining but I know what you mean about going there alone and chatting to others. it is not as easy as it should be. I am gald you have a good weekend planned with Sam. I hope we get some dry weather so we can get outside a bit.
Cheers C-L
HI Paul
Not sure if this is of any help to you at all about the e.mail things, but if you scroll to the top of the page, click on faq, then it has stuff on that page. I would try it out for you, but knowing me, I will screw it all up :lol: :lol:
Take care
Alison
x :)
What makes me laugh about the play space is that I'll say "Do you want a coffee" and what seems to be heard is "Can I get into you knickers?" Why do people assume that a guy on is own cannot possibly be looking just to have a chat. Is it a Bristol thing? I want to talk about my little boy, how proud I am of him, how beautiful he is, how clever and sweet and mad he can be and yes, sometimes I might want to talk about her and how much I miss her, but you know, that's how conversations go!
Rant over! :)
Hi Paul
just posted a reply on another topic and at the bottom of the posting box, there is a tab that says Options and in there you can put a tick in a box that says "Notify me when a reply is posted" - do you get that coming up too? So you could tick that box and see what happens.
C-L
OK, have replied and put a tick in the box - let's see what happens! Thanks Claire-Louise!
I am Sej2009; I am single mom of 27, with a 7 month old boy.
The long and short of it is this:
I had a stoke while pregnant, week 20. Husband didn’t believe i had a stoke. Never visited me while in staying at my parents. Cos in Indian culture we go and stay any parents for the pampering all sorts. He never liked it. He said his mother so more important. In 7 months he has only seen his son twice. And now wants full custody. :twisted:
HI,
If you haven't done so yet you must get legal advice, get a solicitor. Also Citizens Advice bureau can be good for help with most things, your local one could most probably point you in the direction of a good solicitor too.
I cant imagine any court taking a seven month baby from it's mother.
Take care.
hello sej2009
Firstly I am sorry to hear you had a stroke and I hope you have made a good recovery.
Bubblegum is right, you need some advice, you can go the the Citizens Advice as he suggests, also check this link to find a local legal adviser http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/en/directory/directorysearch.jsp
There is always support for you here too, from other single parents, do keep posting! :)
Hi sej2009
I'm sorry you're going through this. I too hope you're making a good recovery.
Hi Sejal
Welcome to Onespace. How are you now? Have you recovered from your stroke? It is good that you have the support of your parents at a time like this? Are you still living with them? The others are right that you need support from Citizen's Advice and a solicitor to represent you - do you have a solicitor?
How are things going since your son's birth?
Please feel free to come back here whenever you need for support, advice or a chat.
Speak soon
C-L
Hi sej2009
Do you think that your husband was looking for a way to get out of the relationship? Or does he genuinely believe that you were just at home being pampered by your parents?
Are you glad he has gone?
Hi sej2009
Welcome to One Space. I hope you are now on the mend. Take care of yourself.
Alison
x :)
Im Vicki and im 19 years old and 4 months pregnant. My ex always wanted a child and so did i, so when we conceived we were both ecstatic.
In the early weeks we argued through my mood swings and it was all blamed on me, then last week i started to improve, going into my 2nd trimester and he deteriated. He hadn't smoked cannibis for months and avoided seeing one particular mate at my request as he was trouble.
But he argued for his wants and forgot that he'd promised things would be better when i was pregnant. So i ended it, and left our flat with some of my stuff to stay at my parents.
Things haven't been much better at my parents, i've got constant pressure to get my own place, pay rent, clean the home and to deal with my parents opinion of my ex. So when we were going to try to work things out, the uncertainty of when i would see him, how we were getting on was becoming too much, so again i ended it.
Its been hard because i still love him very much and i believe he does a little too and the flat was my home for over a year and my cats are still there. But after the recent attitude from him, i've decided im on my own and will go to any cost to ensure my ex doesn't have any involvment until he proves himself.
Im looking forward to learning things myself but am very anxious about his aggressive attitude when fighting to be involved :s
Vicki xx
Hello vixxie
Welcome to One Space and thanks for sharing your story. :) I am sure you will do whatever is best for you and the baby and it would be great if the dad was involved but as you say you would need to make sure he is clean of drugs...also if he has an agressive attitude then that is something else to be careful of. Perhaps that is worth pointing out to him, that if he shows himself to be aggessive then the courts will be far less willing to sort out parenting time for him....and you certinily won't, until you know there is going to be no violence involved.
How are you getting on at your parents' house now? that must be stressful in itself. Are they saying they want you to be living independently before the baby is born?
I'm so glad that you left a violent relationship.
I'm glad you have the support of your mum.