My partner found someone new on the internet. She initially told me that she was going abroad to H****** to see a friend, but after we had saved and she had got her passport, she informed me that in a week she was going, the relationship was over and the person she was going to see was her new partner. She would be away for 4 weeks and when she returned, she expected me to move out.
Since I was signed off work with being bi-polar, I had been doing everything for the kids and she had been doing almost nothing except going online. Several professionals got involved and chatted with the eldest (who is biologically not mine, although he thinks he is.)
When she returned, the professionals voiced certain concerns that they had. The upshot was that she disappeared without a word for a week, until it was then admitted she had returned to her new lover. I immediately went for a residency order covering all 4 children and was successful.
There is a lot more to the story, but that I think covers the basics of how I became a single parent of 4 children.
Garak, good for you, I really admire that you have taken on all 4 children particulary the one that isnt biologically yours, you must have a really good relationship with him.
Is there any contact for the children with their mum or does she not want any, how do the children feel about whats happened, more the older ones as the 2 little ones are probably too young to greasp whats going on as yet xxx
It all happened 10 months ago. She says she wants contact, but has been consistant in upsetting the children. She had all 4 on Christmas Eve (her last visit to England)and neglected to feed the older 3 for the 5 hours she had them (I provided jar food and milk for the baby). She asked her parents for money, but as they said no, she cleared the childrens' bank accounts, as she was the trustee. She phones every few weeks.
She is also pregnant now and is due to give birth in August. That has hurt the eldest.
I get very depressed at times, and also hate being alone. Sadly, people tend to avoid dating men with bi-polar and 4 young children. I can understand why, but it depresses me a great deal.
The children have adapted well mainly, although the eldest is the one most affected, and fears that the pregnancy will lead to a child that Mummy will spend all her time with and not visit here.
To top that off, she has offered her apologies as she will not be attending our youngest's Christening in a months time.
Hi Garak
Good to see you here. This is a brilliant place to come for support - and a laugh!
Looking forward to getting to know you.
Garak, I know it must feel that no one will ever be interested as you have bi-polar and 4 young children but there will be someone out there, before that though you need to establish your routines, I`m sure you do have them now but as it becomes more routine for you all, you will relax more and I hope in the relaxing a little you will not be so hard on yourself!!!!!!
From what you have posted you are doing a great job with the children, you can do little about their mum, all I can say is be as honest as possible with the children, the eldest will be taking it hardest but again he is talking to you about how he feels and that is wonderful as it means you can reassure him that you are there for him and if he needs to talk you will listen xxx
Please make sure that you have someone to offload to as well, that is really important, lots of us on here dont have anyone to offload to so we post on here if we have a bad day etc, it is very theraputic and someone will always answer you at some point
Hi Garak
Thanks for your postings, so we can get to know you better, life must be hard with four children as well as your own issues, well done to you for this. What support do you have for you? I am thinking of Home Start for your family support, and do you have a CPN to help with your bi-polar? As tiredmum says it is important to have someone to talk to. Maybe you won't meet a new partner immediately (you are pretty busy right now) but things will get easier as they get older and you get more of your own life going. As for their Mum, you can't control what she does, all you can do is continue being the stable and consistently loving influence in your children's lives.....gold star material! 
I have a CPN, aside from that there has been a TAC team involved. Although that is now coming to an end.
I never feel like gold star material, and as for finding a partner, I would much prefer it to be sooner rathyer than later but fear it just won't happen at all.
Thank you all for your responses.
Yes I know what you mean, sooner rather than later. It is important not to neglect your own needs while you are a parent (that's something a lot of us do, I feel). I do hope you stay with us as there is lots of online suppport here
Yes well, I have been feeling like giving up recently. To be honest, I've hated living throughout most of my life.
I aim to stay on this site, anyway. So thank you all for being so welcoming.
Don't give up. Your children need you. It's amazing too how much they can get you through.
Garak, how are you this evening? Hope you and the children have had a good day, whats the weather been like with you, it is raining here and quite cold.
Please dont give up, you might not see it but you are doing a great job of raising 4 children
We all have days where nothing goes right, I have them often, BUT when I look at my children even a really dark day can seem brighter, when they give you a chuckle or make you so proud you could burst and then the times where they just say I love you, thats what makes everything worthwhile xxx
Please do stay with one space, its a wonderful site xxx
Hi Garak, thanks for sharing your story, you have got a lot on your plate at the moment.
Look forward to getting to know you in the Discussions.
I love this space on the site as I think it is sooo important to write down what has happened for us, I know I spent many years watching people in the outside world thinking they have no idea what I have been through, so keep 'em coming!
Hi All,
My apologies for yesterday evening. A lot of things getting to me at the moment, and I seem to be on my way down, as it were. But I usually bounce, so I will be back up again in time. There are times when it feels like it's all too much, though.
So, again, my apologies.
Garak, please don't worry, and there's no need to apologise.
We really are here for you.
Hi Garak, would you like to share whatever it is thats troubling you at the moment? Please dont feel you have to but sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved.
Have you spoken to your cpn about how you are feeling at the moment.
Please dont bottle it all up.
Everyone here will support you in a cyber sense and offer advise etc.
My CPN knows the issues that are concerning me, just not much that anyone can do.
My youngest is 16 months old and yet refuses to eat anything remotely solid. Only 4-6 month jars and milk. Health visitors have offered ideas, all to no avail. They ended up saying that I was doing everything right, and just give it time. Sadly, if ever he allows anything remotely solid in his mouth (such as Weetabix, bananas, etc) he throws up.
Being single, with no hope of that changing, is an issue. But that's my problem.
The pregnancy of my ex with her new partner has finally sunk in for my eldest, who now feels his mother will never visit this country anymore, as she will love the new child more.
I am arranging the Christening for my youngest (as all the others have been Christened) and am struggling with a few potential problems once everyone meets up. My ex has saved me some difficulties by informing me she will not be attending due to the pregnancy (Upsetting the kids even more.)
My birthday is coming up, which I always hate no matter what.
And I always feel that other parents' and such are watching and judging me. Am I paranoid? Ofcourse I am, I might be right aswell.
Hi Garak,
Its good that you can talk to your CPN.
Little ones can be fussy with eating cant they, all mine have been different, I have 5 children altogether, my middle daughter was the "lazy" one, didnt want to eat solids, definitely didnt want to walk or talk, not that you would know it now, she has just turned 18 so dont worry as long as he is content he will be fine.
Garak there is always hope, dont think there isnt
You do seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment, try to take a little time for you, do you read, watch tv, do you have a hobby that you enjoy?
We all have a little paranoia about other scrutinising our parenting skills just be yourself, you will be fine xxx
Hi Garak
I agree that all of us can worry about whether others are judging our parenting. Bubblegum, who is one of our single dads, talks about being looked at "differently" for being a single dad. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, just one that is good enough and does their best by their kids.
The food thing is soooo hard. You have consulted the people that are supposed to know and nothing has worked. My suggestion would be to take the pressure off completely (the child has realised how much attention the throwing up has got them, believe you me!!!!),let the whole family eat together with no big focus on this child, maybe there will be some sloppy foods that the whole family can eat such as stewed fruit, milk puddings etc, in a matter of fact way,and I would just carry on regardless (seem to) while also setting out finger foods such as slices of banana, small breadsticks, very soft-boiled pasta pieces, slices of hard boiled egg etc. You can take the older ones into your confidence and say we need to show X how yummy these things can be and they will enjoy the whole "mmmm this is luvverly" play-acting scenario....and if this does not work DON'T WORRY, it is very unlikely that the child will go to college still eating baby food jars, these things often solve themselves.
Lots of online chat and support for you on here
My eldest was awful with food, and used to throw up with the vaguest lump!
The next two were really good, especially my now 15 year old who would just eat what his older brother and sister left! More or less weaned himself 
Youngest was - and still - awful. But fussy rather than the lumps thing.
Please don't get hung up with the single issue. I have to say that I did meet someone, but I found that the seemed to have the same traits as my ex husband. Luckily I've been able to distance myself. I can budget well, and have been able to save (bit harder at the mo) up for things. The friend who's pushing it (he was my b/f) has no money sense.
I can rely on me. My children can rely on me. Relying on me means I don't get let down. I fill the day with as much fun as we can (ok, stressed out at the mo with the re-wiring), but we do have fun. Can't afford the cinema or days out that you pay for, but even so, we did the picnics and the parks.
As for birthdays. Nah... I don't do them. For years my children would go on summer camp with the Scouts. Last year they were all home for the first time since 2003. One of my dog's died!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more birthdays for me either! Although you do need to get a cake and candles, and make sure the children sing happy birthday to you. My Mum told me this, as the birthday after my Dad died, I didn't want to know. She said I needed to do this so the child (only had the one then) learnt about birthdays.
You DO matter. Even if all you have is the birthday cake (let them make you cards. We make cards here), it will be something you all share.
Even the youngest might try a bit of cake...
My lot have found it quite difficut that The Git seems to put his wife and her youngest daughter (who is 20) ahead of them. All I can do is point out that Dad is happy with his new life, and so we should be happy for him.
Personally, I don't think that at all, but so long as the children do...
You'll be ok. Baby steps...
Hi Garek!
I'm a single dad too, have been since january 2005. Only have two kids though, one boy and one girl, eight and six : )
Hello.
P.S.
My son used to throw up with solids too, He doesn't anymore, though he does always claim to be sick : )
Thank you all for your comments. Always good to hear other people's experiences of similar problems.
Things aren't so bad right now, but the kids are working on it. lol
And I must persevere with the lumpy food eating, which I suspect will be ever so slightly stressful.
How's everyone else getting on, anyhow?
Hi Michelle,
My daughter was planned as well... how frustrating it was when I found out that he stated in court that he never met me and he should not be there for the child that he knows nothing about...
Hi Anileve2308, thats outrageous, I am wondering whether he was made to do a blood test?
Note from moderator: This thread 'Your Story' is for single parents to write out their story in full, if they do so wish! For general chat, information or support, please go to Discussions and either join in with others or you can start your own topic under the relevant Discussion heading.
Thanks guys I know you understand! 
Hi Garek, just wondered how you are doing, not sure if you have visited the other parts of the site yet, please do come and join us in the chat towards the bottom of the page if you pop on, we would love to know how you are doing xxx
Sorry, how do I get to the chat?
towards the bottom of the page of disscusions you will see us there think its 3rd from the bottom xxx
it says chit chat xxx
Hi im Lola Ann Mitzy
I met my daughters father when i was JUST 16, he was a few weeks off his 28th birthday (so he told me) we had a wirl wind summer romance while he was here working in my town. Anyway a couple of months later i discovered he had a wife and 2 kids and ended it. I then discovered the name he gave me was fake and his number was the one he used while here (not his actual num). he obviously got rid of it very quickly. I found out months later i was 6 months pregnant and my daughter was due the day after my 17th birthday april 25th. She was born on April 28th.
I HAVE worked, i HAVE done a great job and yes i am living in a council house but if it wasnt for my mum telling me i had to be a family i would probably still be in her house haha. I was actually forced to take this house by the council. They kept showing me disgusting flats on 10th floors and that with no lifts and even wanted to put me in a one bed hostle with my daughter !!!! eventually they showed me this flat, it had holes in the walls like windows. I could actually put my hand outside. There was no insulation, no plaster on the walls or cellings (there still isnt), it was so damp i couldnt actually use my electric because the sockets were wet from the damp (there are still plugs i cant use, the amount of shocks i have had is unreal) and there was lots more, it should have been and still should be condemned. My daughter has been in hopital every winter with chest infections and crupe 9if thats how it i spelt). back to the story.... They told me if i didnt take this flat i would be removed from the waiting list and they would have no legal obligation to rehouse me or help me rehouse myself. I took it. They are after me fighting starting to fix it but are adamant they arnt going to plaster as they said it isnt a nesessity.
I am going to college in the near future and i have just started volenteering in a family support center and also started another vollenteer position in Banardos. Hoping to start in citezens advice soon and be trained to an NVQ level 3. There are a lot of teenage, single mothers where i live but im sure they didnt choose to be single parents them selfs. Who would. And i will stick up for them in the fact that nearly all of them live with their mums. its hard to be a single parent and i hate with a passion when people slag them off for doing the best they can.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Lola Ana Mitzy
Yes, what you see in the papers about girls getting pregnant to get a council house is simply not true. I have worked with large numbers of single parents for ten years now and I have met precisely two women that fall into that category!
You are doing fantastically with your volunteer work and that's a great idea to work towards the NVQ, should stand you in good stead as your daughter gets older.
Just a thought about the damp in the flat, have you asked your doctor for a letter saying that the damp has caused your daughter's bad chest?
Hi Lola, welcome along. You are doing a fab job, whether you chose to work, or be a stay at home Mum (which I am). As for the state of the council flat, keep ringing them, pester them, and hopefully something will be done. Like Louise says, maybe a letter from your GP. How old is your daughter now? Look forward to getting to know you.
When I met my husband he was in UK as asylum seeker. Shortly after
we met his last appeal was refused and was facing deportation. His only option
was to marry. Although I knew it’s a big risk I agreed to marry him so he can
resolve his immigration status. I moved to UK 3 years later after his request. He fed me all sorts of excuses why I can't yet come - no job, no place to live etc. I got fed up and he got warnning from a friend that Home office is doing checkups to prevent sham marriages. He lured me to move in with him with promise of a child. He took me to a doctor who specializes in genetics to talk me into having a
child. I have genetic condition and I am not in a very good shape health wise.
I agreed. I always though I wont be able to have a child.
Then he got his financial job. Before that he was working
in a shop.
I got pregnant and suddenly he decided that he loves his
freedom more then having a family. He got his papers sorted and job and I
understood that now it’s over. It was obvious he married me for papers.
I left 8 months pregnant jus because I wanted to earn right maternity leave.
When our daughter was 1 his visa was expiring. Again he had
no choice but to obtain my passport. I knew but I was desperate for my daughter
to get to know her father so I came. Since I knew that will not last I
suggested we might try for another child so at least our daughter has another
sibling. Due to my disease my future is quite uncertain. While I was unsuccessfully
pregnant 3 times and facing 3 abortions he was already having affair with
another woman. I found out 2 weeks after I lost third pregnancy. And that was 3
weeks after he got his citizenship.
According to him I had no reason to leave but I did. This
time for good.
He has used me no doubt.
Our daughter is now facing a life without a father.
It breaks my heart.
hello Katka
Your daughter has a very strong and loving mother, that's for sure
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Hi Katka. Welcome along to One Space. Your daughter may grow up without a father, but she sure does have a mum that loves her very much. You've gone through an awful lot, but you've come out the other side, and you should be very proud of yourself.
Hi katka
You have been through some difficult times. 
At least now you know where you stand and you are the one back in control again.
You daughter may face life without a father, or she may in time go looking for him, but from what you have said, do you really think that having a deceitful man in her life is a positive thing?
hi...
im rianne im 21 and have 2 children my little boy is 1 and my little girl is 4.
i met my ex when i was 16 he was 5 years older than me, its like the saying goes they are so nice at the begining then they have you on thier fishing line and start to reel you in. i got pregnant just after few months and thats when it all changed he had me on his fishing rod and he had hold of me, he started to be violent verbually then after i had my little girl its like a monster was unleashed. me and my daughter left when was 18. then after a few months he promised me he would never do it again, so i took him back. he was nice for a few weeks then started blaming his behaviour on me, so i started to believe it was my fault, he turned me against my family telling me they hated me they didnt love me nobody did except for him but his love was not normal i thought it was at the time, the way he said to me i do everything for you made me think he did love me. i then got pregnant with my little boy, after having him the voilence got worse than ever before with my children watching him beat thier mummy up, time went on i was too scared to ask for help i didnt want my children to be taken off me they were all i had i needed to protect them, but my little girl felt like she needed to protect me she was my shadow, telling me "its ok mummy"
i had to ask for help i couldnt put my children through this any longer, so i finally went to the police and asked for help.
my little girl has been very traumatised from what she has seen, and my little boy was only a few months old when we left but still to this day he is scared of shouting and loud noises.
but im so happy now to see them smile and laughing!yo
thank you for letting me share my story with you
rianne
Hello rianne21
Welcome! and you have done so well to walk away from this abusive relationship, you have been through a very traumatic time and now is the chance to rebuild your life and to reinforce the sense of security for you and the children. Do you have any support from Women's Aid?
I would like to encourage you to think about doing The Freedom Programme. This is a free online course we offer which is for survivors of abusive relationships and you can do it at your own pace. Have a look and see what you think
Hi rianne
What a terrifying time you've been through.
I'm glad your children are smiling and happy. I hope you are recovering too.
Hello rianne. Welcome along. Well done for getting out of that relationship. That takes a lot of courage, and you must have been so scared. How are things with your own family now? I do hope that you're getting all the support that you need. Do you have any close friends? Please keep posting here, as you'll receive our of our support too. You're doing great
thank you to all who have commented...
womens aid helped us when we got into a refuge, our health visitor is also trying to get my little girl some counselling sessions through womens aid too, but its taking forever. a womens aid worker also helped me through court she was fantastic she really helped me through it, as i had to stand up and give evidence which was terrfiying. me and my family have a great relationship now too they help me so much too, i have also made some lovely friends who also help me, its actually really nice to have friends and my family back around for us because i was never allowed. me and the children are finally starting to see in to the future now. my little girl still gets scared about seeing her dad again and gets scared if there is loud noises or out in the dark but i just reassure her that mummy will never let anything happen to us again. i still struggle with panic attacks but im on medication until i am ready for counselling.
thank you for your advice and comments :)
Hello again rianne21, glad to know you have had some support, have you had a look at the Freedom Programme I mentioned?
hello.. yes ive started the freedom programme. thank you
Hello rianne
I have just been reading your thread and am amazed at how well you are doing considering the traumatic experience that you have been through.
It is good to hear that you have a good support network and people that you can turn to. I hope that you are able to get that counselling soon for yourself and your daughter. Glad to hear that you are also doing the Freedom Programme.
Have you found anything that helps with your panic attacks?
Hello folks. I am new to this forum / site. Just wanted to pop in to introduce myself and say hello.
I am getting an divorce from my husband - we had been toegether for 20 years and have three grown up young ladies aged 19, 18, 16 two live with me here in wiltshire and my middle daughter lives with her boyfriend and his family up in lincolnshire.
My story is a long one and don't want to bore you to much - so in brief back in 2006 I and my ex were busy working on our degrees and found my ex to be moody and distant, he would cause many arguments and I hoped we would work through this rough patch, well sad to say things seemed to go down hill after finding he was on many chat sites and sex sites * spending money we could not afford to talk to other women ( telling them he was single, living with his brother)
after that the trust was not great, but he promised he never took it off line and seemed to want to stop this and work things out.
Then in 2007 we had loads of uni work as well as him working at college part time teaching. well there I am at home - online using the laptop and a power cut occurs, so i have some battery life left and for some unknown reason looked around the laptops files and hidden folders - YEAH you guessed it, was pictures upon pictures old chats etc of new online acttivities of his betrayal.
Well with that I walked out and got on a train to travel back to S****** from L****** ( as when I was with him we lived there) after a few days at my sisters I went home. Mainly to get my degree done and hang in until I figured out what to do. well we had a fight and he got in the car and was gone, he left me and girls for 2 whole weeks - I got the police and newspapers in to help me find him, I never ate nor slept - kept looking for him, until one day out of the blue he sends a text asking if he can come home. I kept saying in my head come back in a mess and his clothes dirty, well when he arrived home my heart broke, he was tidy - the bag in which he had some clothes was tidy and i was shocked at how much clothes he had. I knew he was with some other person (female). His story was he was sleeping in the car on the service stations and used their wash rooms to clean his self. well After days of talking, we both decided to go to relate, but before going into the first appointment - i made him give me all his emails, accounts online that he used, well after three long weeks of signing in onto his emails, chat accounts. this women pops up asking when i'll ( my ex) is coming back, well after a while I came clean and told the women I was infact my ex's wife not him. I asked her what car we had the reg, to describe my ex, then after she dug in how they had sex and all he told her and they done together she answered all my questions, so here I am a real mess, he ownes up and begs forgiveness, I love him and was hurt so bad, my best friend became my worst emery why??? so as the weeks passed we got on with working on our degree course and life carried on, with what he did fresh on my mind and kept me from sleeping or feeling secure, the trust had gone......
2008 rolled by we passed our degrees he found work in a school and i finally found a lovely job in 2009 as a ward clerk.. Then his school was having a prom and the ex wanted to go, so he went saying he be back by 12 1am. Well on form he never returned. I knew he had found another, just knew it, then the fights started and the gap grew until one day he texts me to say he not coming home and will stay with a mate and his family. Before I knew what i was doing I was in the woods near my home with my medication and volka >>>>> i cried and drank and ate my meds and passed out, to awake much later on to my mobile calling ( my ex and my friend where out looking for me ) i came to my senses and came home, seemed to be sleeply but was ok.
Then the fights started and he would lose it and hit me. Then three weeks after I came home from work after talking to a lady about my life, and desided to learn to trust him and really move on, well after a silly bout my ex took dogs out and left his mobile on the side counter, well i found a text to him saying have you told H and N ( two of my daughters) well I quickly took note of the texts sender, and when he walked in I lost it and went mad demanding answers... He said he has had it and was gonna leave, before he got out I walked out and went off into the night, and called the caller who texted. she was a older lady I could tell by the voice.. she hung up and did not reply nor answer me again. I found a place in a field layby and was telling my exe I wanted him to tell me the truth, and not to leave if I returned. well i had a object within my pockect and i shouted id use it end my life - un known to me there was a car parked and two men heard what I was saying and they called the police, who arrived and took me home ( on my return my ex went nuts and walked out) he left and this was on a friday, after putting me and the girls through hell again, I lost my head, all went still and i found myself in a ditch a fews miles from my home - this time i really did want to die, and nearly had sucess has the police not found me.
I was rushed to hospital and still my ex never went home to be with the girls, 24 hrs later he comes upto the hospital with a packed bag and threw it down and walked away., I know I done alot of damage to myself and my dear girls. I was a mess. Me and my ex were over.
I keep thinking I had no one - but i had my three girls. well finally I get out of hospital - and he stayed for a few days then he would leave, I was out of my mind.....my and the girls lives were in a mess. I could not look the girls in the eyes knowing how I messed up. I really hated myself for my attempted suicide.
Well he kept coming back and staying he might get back together, if I changed. I was unable to go to work, eat, talk nothing I was in shock.. then he would get volient and hit me about, june, july august september went by and the final straw came when he did not return for my daughters birthday. I left him and took my youngest to come here to S******.
So finally in october the 1st I rented a place out and broke the news to my two older girls that i'd not be coming back... lucky for me my eldest came in feb 2010 to live here also, it was a hard time mind for my middle daughter as she was on a course and had her long term boyfriend so she stayed up there.
After two weeks of living here as a single lady, He phones to say he is dating a person from his work - well truth catches him up - he was knocking off with this tart for all the time he got that job. and was not coming home from work (his work would finish at 2.45 and he be home just befour 6.30/7 ........................
2012 - He is with yet another women who is 20yrs older than his self, christmas came and went and none of the girls heard from him, not a phone call.text,email nothing.................
I am half way through the devoice, and moving on with my life, at times I cry and wonder what I done so wrong to him for him to treat me so bad.
I am trying to totally forget him (funny this first time I spoke about him in A while). what goes around comes around and one day he will be on the receiving end of his own treatment.
the girls all are hurt and cant bare to have nothing to do with him, he blames that on me of course.
well I suppose I best write off and carry on living my life with my girls and my dogs and parrot :::::::)
Happy 2012 and to all those who have or going through similar my heart goes out to you.............. sorry for rattling on
Hello Mando
Welcome to One Space!
The first thing to say is that if you have used your real name then please do change yor user name for the sake of anonymity. Click on Your Profile at the top right hand side of the Home Page then click the edit tab and you will see a line that says user name. Just change it and then click the save button at the bottom.
You have clearly been through a lot and I am glad that you finally found the strength to say enough is enough and instigate a divorce. Now you can concntrate on you and the girls. When you look back over the last five years or so, I expect it is almost as if it happened to someone else, there was such a long list of happenings...and yet you did and you survived.
Interesting that your ex husband seemed to want to label you for your behaviour and yet had lied and cheated for all that time. I don't know if you can recognise this as a form of abuse, as well as the hitting that went on? Have a look at this list here and tell me if you think he has any of the characteristics of the types that are described. One thing that might help you is doing our Freedom Programme online (click to see)
How are you feeling about everything now?
Hi
I'm glad that your getting on with your life without him.
I have found that you can't totally forget someone though when you have children, but sort of have to accept that they're out there somewhere...
I also found that in my case I have been blamed so that he feels better.
My divorce came through on my 20th wedding anniversary Quite significant to me.
Hi Mando. Welcome along. I'm glad you found the strength to leave this man. You ask what you had done so wrong. He is the one that was in the wrong, not you. Your girls have done nothing wrong, yet at Christmas there was nothing from him. He is the one with the problems.
I hope 2012 is a great year for you and the girls.
thank you every-one for all your comments, it is great to open up and talk out loud some of what i and my girls have been through! you see i am alone, no friends, no mum nor dad both passed away, i turn 40 on march this year, i become housebound and gained so much weight! started to dislike myself and have become very alone and dont like to moan! great to read im not alone, and others have been through peeps.
Hello again
I am sorry to hear you have beome housebound and wonder if you are getting all the help you are entitled to, for example have youi applied for DLA and do you have any practical help with self care?...or is your restriction to the house associated with agrophobia?
Thanks for sharing your story, stuart, I know we know some of it but not all, and it is interesting to hear about your life when you and your wife were together. Also, with the benefit of three years' experience since the separation, you have a lot of wisdom to pass on to those who are new at the whole process!