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hello

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'd forgotten to save changes with her...

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 10:44am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

sadsy wrote:
My mum annoyed I am still snuggled up in duvet. She coming to help me with tidy house for estate agent visit.

I'm not good son. I'm snuggling some more though.

hehe

sy

It's not going to be easy for this, I know.

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 10:45am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Loads of hugs.

Hope you're mum isn't too cross!

Will be thinking of you.
xx

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 10:58am
sadsy

Oooh Sparkling I love your cat!

She looks so wise! Would she sit on my lap and make "puddings" with her paws?
I've not had a dog, so not able to read them.

sy

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 11:00am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

The cat is lovely. Ellie-Snuggles. I promised the now 13 year old that when we got a permanant house and if it wasn't by a road we'd have a cat...

So in the January after moving here, 2006, we went to the RSPCA and got her.

£80 - with a basket and a few bits :o :o :shock: 8-)

But she's lovely.

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 12:11pm
sadsy

Sparkling,
this Y button thing.

It is veeeeery annoying!

Need to find out how lawnmower works.

Back later.

sy

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 2:41pm
sadsy

Kids call coming up.

i always get nervous. Hope Louise not shouting at Luke again.
I think he reminds her of me.

Or, like many nights, new big flatscreen TV/sky is very loud and they not want to talk with me as movie is on.
At least they are relaxed on those nights i guess. I tell them I will call next night, so they not worry.

sy

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 7:40pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

So inconsiderate, she really is inconsiderate.

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 8:23pm
sadsy

hmm, think I'm changing mood again, still gives me something to do.

Melancholy songs now:

I met a little girl and I settled down
In a little house out on the edge of town
We got married, and swore we'd never part
Then little by little we drifted from each others heart

At first I thought it was just restlessness
That would fade as time went by and our love grew deep
In the end it was something more I guess
That tore us apart and made us weep

And Im driving a stolen car
Down on eldridge avenue
Each night I wait to get caught
But I never do

She asked if I remembered the letters I wrote
When our love was young and bold
She said last night she read those letters
And they made her feel one hundred years old

And Im driving a stolen car
On a pitch black night
And Im telling myself Im gonna be alright
But I ride by night and I travel in fear
That in this darkness I will disappear

ho hum. Y button not work. I'm too dim to figure it out.

sy

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 8:48pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

have you signed into your yahoo account and downloaded messenger? I had to upgrade mine...

Posted on: August 22, 2009 - 8:53pm
sadsy

yes, downloaded client, it's a bit flaky.

I have just ruined pansy's evening. I've been such a misery.

sy

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 4:09am
Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 4:35am
Pansy

Ok, I have said you did not ruin my evening & will say it again.

seen photos :(
this is your toughest few weeks coming now, it is going to get worst before it gets better, but then it will get better. We are all here for you :)

hope you at least get to lay in & get sleep!

Pansy x

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 7:43am
sadsy

Thank you Pansy,
enjoy the sunshine today.

It's lovely here.

sy

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 12:53pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hello :)

I've been driving around since 8.45am, and have just got in.

Sadsy - I've added you on flickr as family, so you can view the pics when you feel you want to. I could well be adding more.

I'm so sorry I made you sad yesterday, I really am.

My daughter will be soaked 17 degrees here and pouring down. I hate it when they get wet. :(

Sy, your children are gorgeous. I do hope the weather stays good for you down there.

Been to Wilkinsons and bought glitter glue - £1 a bottle with nozzle type. Do you have a Wilkinson's by you? You could get some in and some card (although that was £4, but good size pack) and start making Christmas cards - they'll love that...

xx

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 1:24pm
sadsy

Hey Sparkling,
that's a cool idea, though I don't know the store.

I am in a panic, as I can't find the form from the court for appealing against moving venue!
I've found the envelope though, sigh.

I'm panicking now.

I'll just get food for 2 days. I'm not so good at planning meals and I need time.

I have to phone solicitor guy, feel awkward about it. It's just on a favour basis.

Aaaaand I'm having to wear Louise's deodorant which is really distracting me.
I smell of lovely flowers though.

Sparkling, thank you for your pics. I posted some of mine, though I was in a bad place when i chose. Poor Pansy.

I would love to Y with you Sparkling, but I think the address is wrong, it has no dots or @ symbol when I press Y button here.

Will catch up with you later.

Need to look for this form. We tidied up for estate agent yesterday. Now not sure where things are.

sy

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 1:59pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Stay calm and try and be methodical with your searching.

Could your mum have moved it?

You can check your email address to see if it's right in your profile bit...

xxx

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 2:02pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

daughter on way back early. Thank goodness. It's been pouring all day here.

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 2:03pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

As for crafts, Tesco has some bits, and so does hobbycraft. What impressed me was the price with these!

We're going to make cards for mother-in-law's birthday this week.

Off to get daughter.

Catch you later. Have a cup of tea and then try looking again. Don't panic.
xxx

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 2:05pm
sadsy

Found it, pheeew!
Found that pesky form.

I'm destined for the petrol station to get food tonight, I'm sure.

C'mon sy, phone this guy. Phone him now!
he won't remember me. I'll try later.
Then remind him! It'll be too late later!

Sorry, having fight with myself in public.

sy

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 2:54pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm so glad you found it. :)

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 3:19pm
Pansy

I hope you have made that call Sy!!!

STOP LOOKING YOU KNOW WHERE & GET ON WITH IT!

I am watching you again :lol:

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 3:36pm
sadsy

Oh gaaawd, solicitor didn't remember me.

He not give much advice but I did painfully learn a couple of things. He not very patient with me. Very unpatient in fact. He say he charge £1,000 a day. Gulp. He keep saying "well how do I know?" and I say back to him "well how do I know?".

This 45 min court direction session is only the 1st and that is why Louise and her solicitor are not attending.

I cannot fight having the case moved to Romford, as that is where they are living. The puzzle piece about ex telling mum she making residence more permanent now rather than leaving boyfriend makes sense, as CAFCASS and Court require a proper address for care of children report. Report takes 16 weeks or so.

He tell me off for not getting a solicitor. "Oh come on, you can afford it!"

Feel a bit battered. Painful way to learn.

sy

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 3:47pm
sadsy

Pansy!
you see ALL.

It's scary!

:lol:

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 3:48pm
Pansy

sparkling are photos active?

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 4:03pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Not surprised you feel battered.

That's not bad rate for a solicitor... Around here it's around £200 an hour now. Was £180 an hour when I saw a solicitor back in 2006. I got legal aid, which surprised me, as I'd written requesting a bill after each meeting, as she was a good family lawyer.

This is why I say she knew what she was doing Sy, moving the children away without telling you.

They've still not started school. Would you be able to cope with having the children with you permanantly? FNF, aren't they providing any encouraging info here?

You could work from home. :?

Sorry, me putting pressure on you. It annoys me though that the children have been taken away from their home area...

I've not been through the Courts, so have no idea there.

I'm sorry. I really am so sorry.

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 4:03pm
sadsy

Hi Sparkling,
I not had much luck with FNF, I've been really cosy here.
Their factsheets are good. FNF is bit unfortunate name really.

It would be great to have a OneSpace legal expert on family law to give just general guidance.

I just get so overwhelmed.
I still have the odd day, like yesterday evening/this morning where I not function properly.
Counsellor is right, I'm still at surviving stage. I did not believe him, because I can still drive a car, answer phone, walk around etc.

I still don't understand: I have done nothing criminal, yet I have lost my children and their is no recourse. Solicitor tell me I won't get any more than alternate Saturday contact.

oooh got to take mum to pizza express, catch up later!

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 6:12pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

It should be alternate weekends, not Saturdays... Also you need to be agreeing holidays. Although please don't get worked up over birthdays and Christmas'. Children love having two of them... Honest.

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 6:20pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Sadsy

Solicitors usually charge by the hour, as sparkling lime says. I think it is ridiculous that they think you have a lot of money "swooshing" around to afford a solicitor for hours on end. I thought the original agreement was for alternate weekends and you have that in writing? Stick to your guns!

As you have been told, it is likely the first hearing will be adjourned pending the CAFCASS report, but you knew that before. I know Bubblegum has told you a bit about his experience of CAFCASS.

Hope you are OK, thinking of you......

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 8:27pm
sadsy

Hi,
thank you all so much for your thoughts.
PizzaExpress was £16. Really nice sitting under the evening trees. My conversation was a bit one track.

Sparkling, wise words. Arwen enjoyed having 2 birthdays as you said. hehe.

Best drive back now. Mum lending me Honda with functioning radio to pick up children. Is a bit sturdier than my little old hatchback. Espace is leaking water.

I'm mesmerised by stepfather's 42 inch plasma :shock:

bye

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 9:32pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

That sounds good.

xxx

Posted on: August 23, 2009 - 9:36pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hope all is ok.

I'm off to do interviews with prospective adult Scout leaders :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Me! Interviewing!!!

Ummmmmmm.... and you are?

As you can see, they're desperate.

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 6:38pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

OOh good luck with interviews, you will be fab!

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 8:15pm
sadsy

Sparkling,
hope the interviews go well!

You'll be great.

Children all in bed. I have 1 hour to myself.

Had a full day, 3hr round trip to children up. Job centre call 50 mins. Court call 30 mins. Birthday money to spend for Arwen. Luke get game for DS with money he save. Dinner bath and bed.

I'm pretending I'm not unemployed tonight.

Need to Y with you at some time. I'll load some picks onto flikr for you.

hug for you Sparkling.

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 10:07pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

That all sounds good - so I hope it is...

Bit of a dramatic evening - which is to be continued. Never realised how exciting Scouts can get!

The good news is my leg didn't lock! I survived, even though the Scout hut was down a hill! :)

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 10:57pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Glad you survived the evening, Sparkling.

Sadsy what a busy, busy day, I hope you got a decent sleep after all that. Thinking of you.

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 10:09am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hello everyone
just joined today, and it's taken me ages to work out how to do this! :lol: I am a single (much older mum). My son is nearly 7 and he is a little diamond. His father never wanted to know him, his loss of course. I will tell more as i get to know people.
Thanks
Alison
xx

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 4:28pm
sadsy

Hellooo Alisoncam,
really nice to have you here!

I have my children with me this week. How do I gently stop my daughter coming downstairs and sleeping with me each night. I'm really tired today! She keeps poking me, and coming up close staring into my face, when I open my eyes it frightens life out of me! She is 5. I don't want to be stern though.

Any ideas?

sy

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 6:32pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi Alison

Looking forward to chatting with you.

Sy - Gently explain she's waking you up and you need to sleep. She's only to wake you if she needs you, but then you need to be consistent in putting her back in her bed.

Could be she doesn't like being upstairs knowing your downstairs.

Or you could just lump it and you all cuddle up together - you could each have your own sleeping bag and then no one ends up with all the quilt... Just which ever you decide on, you need to see it through and be consistent, however hard it is getting up to take her to bed...

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 6:50pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Alisoncam

Welcome to One Space! Look forward to getting to know you more, please do join in the threads and chat :D

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 8:37pm
sadsy

Hello Sparkling,
yes, I'm big softee as I not seen her for so long. She is tired today, so maybe she will not wake tonight. Will get easier as week goes on I hope. I'm really tired too. I'm not used to having them and pace is bit much for me. They seem happy though :) Had some fun with Luke. He say he not have fun with mum. She not joke with him.

Had counsellor tonight. He say I've come a long way in 2 and 3/4 months.

Danced with Arwen today for the first time. Great song in Aristocats has to be danced to. Good job none watching me!

Abrazo

sy

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 10:41pm
mummymichy

Hi Alisoncam, its nice to meet you :) Especially as it sounds like we're in exactly the same situation. My sons nearly 8, and he's never met his dad either, as we split up when I was pregnant (as explained on 'why are you a single parent'...

alisoncam wrote:
Hello everyone
just joined today, and it's taken me ages to work out how to do this! :lol: I am a single (much older mum). My son is nearly 7 and he is a little diamond. His father never wanted to know him, his loss of course. I will tell more as i get to know people.
Thanks
Alison
xx

Hope to chat to you again, as you settle in properly. Bye for now x

ps: not sure what you meant by (much older mum) but I'm 38 if thats anywhere near... :D

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 11:03pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm 47... my youngest is ten and a half...

Sy - dancing is excellent. :D

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 12:03am
mummymichy

It definitely is!!! I was dancing round the kitchen to the Ben 10 theme only a few hours ago! After spending the opening rolling around the sofa in hysterical amusement, my son decided to join me for the closing snippet :) Who says parents arent cool! :D

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 12:42am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I like to think my lot like the madness when I dance... :roll:

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 1:02am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I'm sure they love it! :D

Mind you, as they get older, you might not be allowed to do it on the street i.e. in public; I used to embarrass my eldest dreadfully by singing Shania Twain on the way to school, heh heh

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 10:12am
clara

hi alison
i have this problem with my 2 boys aged 9 and 7 . i know they are older than you daughter but we have friday sleep overs in my bed which works out well .maybe do a chart and she see the night that she sleeps with you . or even buy her a special toy that she cuddle up with and maybe put you perfume on it so she can smell you . i hope these help and i know that it takes time and you get tired . i did not sleep properly for ages and still get good and bad nites .
all the best

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 11:01am
sadsy

Hey there,
just to say, I'm really pressed for time with the children and another important matter and not much time. I've not left you guys!

Court tomorrow. Not sure what to take?

Umarmung

sy

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 12:44pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I can't help you there, sorry.
You can take your evidence with you and list your reasons for putting forward your requests.
Don't criticise Louise. From what I've read, judges (are they judges?) don't like sour grapes, just facts.

I will be thinking of you.

Meanwhile, let Luke and Arwen help you through this. Enjoy your time with them as they're your focus, and will give you so much strength.

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 1:42pm
sadsy

thank you Sparkling.

Feeling bit nervous now.

At least Louise won't be there to see me being embarrassed.

Sy

Posted on: August 26, 2009 - 10:00pm