hello
having bit of 'feeling sorry for myself' day. Not depressed or anything, just bit down. I have managed to put aside Mcdonalds money for son's birthday, but I've miscalculated money. Income support changed from weekly to fortnightly, and stupidly I worked it out that my money would be due next monday, but in fact it's the following week. Sheepishly I have asked my son if I would be able to borrow from him. After paying for new uniform, shoes and birthday presents, I now find myself penniless. I'm finding it hard to adjust to the fortnightly, plus of course I had to borrow to cover the week that was missed, (hope that makes sense). Today I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, but of course if I look hard enough, it will start to glow!!!
I'm on guilt trip that I'm having to borrow from 7 year old, and he hasn't even received the money yet!!!!! Am sure I'm not the only one though.
Sorry for going on. Go careful on those crutches, they can be real dangerous.
Take care
Alison
I have to say that I've been 'borrowing' money from my lot to see me through to income support days! Two weekly is very hard. I tell the children and they know it goes back on the day I get benefits. I've managed not to do it this time! I seem to have loads of outgoings though.
There's no doubt, it's hard on your own. My ex would always demand money from me when we were married, so in theory, it should be easier!
I'm sorry your down. It's good you can see why though - at least I always feel it's ok if I know why.
Hi
My son is a little darling, and understands, but I'm still feeling very guilty about it all. A few hours ago, he came to me and said 'mummy, don't worry if you haven't got money for a birthday card, you can just make one. I love made cards'. I gave him a huge hug and had to walk away so he didn't see the tears.
Alison
x :cry:
Loads of hugs Alison.
I've started to make cards. I have these pearl paints that have a nozzle on the bottle, and nice card (which I had for years). The children really love them. I made one for eldest for his GCSEs, then his sister made one - he was so chuffed with them.
xx
Hi Sparlinglime, Sadsy
Thankyou for your kind words. :) My son is going out today to the aquarium and to see Big Ben. He had asked me all summer if he could go, but even with the discount voucher, I couldn't afford it. A friend, (though very distant friend now, her foster son sexually abused my son) came round yesterday, and said she would like to take my son out for a birthday treat. Great, how marvellous you all might be thinking, and yes it is wonderful for my son, buttttttttttttt. This will be the first time that I have allowed my son out with her, it is very strained between us. I don't think we will ever get back the friendship we had. (After it happened she assured me that no longer would she carry on fostering him) She has known my son since birth. Anyhow, she still fosters him. My son regularly visited her home, but of course he hasn't been back there since. It has been hard for him because he thought that he was being punished, and I had to explain things to him.
Rambling again, sorry. My son will have a brilliant day, I know he will.
Take care
Alison
x
Sadsy you are right, today is another day. x
Awww bless your little son, alisoncam, they can be so sweet. How sad that he should feel he was being punished because he could no longer go to your friend;s house. I am sure that you handled it brilliantly, you sound to have a really close relationship. As others have said, it is financially neccessary to borrow sometimes. My boy, when aged seven, paid our electricity bill and stopped us being cut off! Anyway hope your boy has a good day out and also birthday this weekend :D
Sadsy is that this week's quiz: guess the animal sound?
Hi Sadsy
So sorry didn't mean to make you distressed. I had a great deal of support from my GP, and a wonderful policewoman at the time. Thankfully, my son didn't even realise what had happened. He was four and half at the time, and thought the whole thing was a dr game! I felt soooooo guilty, and still do, and didn't let him out of my sight.
My son idolises this woman, and I know she feels the same about him. It has been extremely hard for him having little contact with her now. (She used to see him several times a week). I couldn't say no to him about this birthday treat, because it was said in front of him, and I can't possibly go, because I can't afford it. I am trying to see it like I would a school outing, (ITS HARD THOUGH).
I have been put in a difficult position, and as the mother, maybe I should have just said no, then I wouldn't be going through turmoil right now, but although this BAD thing happened to my son, I can't hold her responsible. You see Sadsy, it also happened under my roof and well as hers. The foster son was 11, and as much as I tried to tell myself he was just a child, the things he said to my son told everyone he knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew it was wrong. My anger lies with the fact that my (friend) told me she couldn't have told me anything about his background, and I respect that, but she should have told me not to leave my son with the foster child, and when my son played at hers, she should never have left the boys alone.
Alison
x
what an awful shock for you! It's good things were acted on.
I don't blame you for feeling torn.
Loads of hugs.
Hi Alisoncam
Its not surprising that you have had a tough few days, it horrible having to borrow from the children, but trust me, you and they soon get used to it! Like someone said, as long as you pay it back, its not so bad, money is money. It also helps them understand the situation that we are in and not to take money for granted.
But I think you know this anyway and you feeling low is because of your son going out for this day trip. I think it has brought up a lot of old memories and fears, which is completely understandable.
It is often said that if when a child has been abused, if it wasn't in a horrific manner, then they can deal with and get on with life, it is the rest of the family who may carry it and always be concerned about it. It sounds as though your son was completely unaware of what was going on, so I imagine he may well be fine and no major damage was done. You have to take his lead on this, you know that you trust your friend and that they have a great relationship, so today is your day, the past is in the past and you can't change anything, so you relax and take a break.
What time is he home?
Hi Sparkinglime and Anna
Twiddling my thumbs now!! They left bout 20 mins ago, and me being me will be twitching until he is back.
Anna, you are right, the past is the past, and I try not to dwell on it, but in certain circumstances, I do. All part of being human eh. I try not to be over protective, which is why I knew I needed to let him go today. I won't ever get the relationship back to how it was with the friend, but I can't spoil it for my son. To him, everything is ok, but she and I both know differently. She tends to go overboard in spoiling him since it happened, and I have repeatedly told her not too, because it might ease some guilt she is feeling, but my son expects something from her each time. (I won't have him being spoilt).
Gosh, I'm sounding like a moany, ungrateful old bag aren't I? (I'm really not, honest).
Its just everytime I see her it stirs up very ugly memories.
Take deep breaths and put kettle on!!
Alison
x
It's good you know he'll have a good day. And probably it's good to realise that the friendship has moved onto a new level.
Hope you're having a good cup of tea, and that you are able to relax a little.
Hope he does have a good time, and that the sun shines for him.
I can see that guilt would leave her wanting to try and put things right.
Loads of hugs
Hi Sparklinglime and Sadsy
Hugs much appreciated. Trying to keep myself busy. Did some ironing, tidied around, (big clean up tomorrow), cups of tea etc. Don't have to think about dinner tonight, my son is being taken for mcdonalds. His little face was an absolute picture when he left.
Sparklinglime
How is your leg today? Hope its better. Did the kids enjoy first day back to school yesterday?
Sadsy
Hope you are feeling bit better this afternoon. You are a kind person, and deserve happiness. Forget nerves, etc, go for that relationship!
Take care
Alison
x :)
They had an ok day, thanks. The older three more so than the younger one. I think the primary school has decided to be bolshi from the start. Youngest got a telling off for hicoughs yesterday! Boy had detention (playtime) for talking... Told youngest that he'd better behave then :D
Hope you're doing ok.
xx
Ahhhhhh, bless him. Glad they settled in so quick.
The time has gone quite quick really this afternoon. Have enjoyed the peace, I have to admit. Its been strange not hearing, 'mum, can i have this, mum, can you play with me, mum, I'm hungry, etc etc.
Hi Sy
:o Didn't believe you were a virgin, whatever next :o . I believe you ;)
Just listening to the news. American lady is having her 19th baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, I can't even imagine that.
Now back to you Sy. Don't bother with the book, men will never understand women :lol:
Happy shopping.
Hugs to you too.
Alison
x :)
Hi everyone, PLEASE will you use the Family Quilt to upload your photos. Its right here look: http://interactive.onespace.org.uk/quilt/. Just click on Add your own patch on the bottom left hand corner and we can add it to our One Space family album. You can add poems too sadsy, if you wrote them yourself.
Sadsy, look after yourself with this internet dating stuff, I have very little experience of it, but it seems that emotions can rocket sky high and all over the place. I wonder if you can try and keep it as light hearted as possible? I know that you are probably looking to feel loved and needed at the moment, but my concern is that the other person could really hurt you in a way that a face to face contact might not. Think of it as real life. Would you tell someone you had a new interest in all your deepest darkest secrets and needs? I doubt it. Just keep your cards close to your chest and take care. I think you are thought of very highly of on this board and although there is no flirting allowed, the relationships you are building here are probably far more solid and stable.
Just take care of you. :)
Oh sadsy DO be careful.
You could ask them what car they have? If it is a red small one, then being very sexist I presume it would be a woman, if they replied a ford escort XR3i, four cylinder, front suspension with a built GPS system and go faster spoilers etc etc etc (yawn!) then I would say defo a bloke!
You could ask them how fast they can do the 800m!! :lol:
Have a look at this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3002946.stm.
Hi pansy.
Shame the weather wasn't as good as it could have been.
Hi all
Pansy, welcome back, it sounds as though the childrenn had a good holiday, we were in Wales and the weather was shockingly depressing, only a few bouts of sunshine, that lasted only a few minutes. I love the thought of the children playing in the sea with their wetsuits.
I am putting on imaginary specs now tho........please dont be too quick to give out your phone number or email to internet dating site people. It sounds as if you were on your mobile constantly while on holiday, the kids want you there for them, not in another world with a complete stranger. It is not fair on them and it also interrupts your time away, your thoughts being elsewhere. I also think it is WAY too soon to be meeting him. Please please, you have to be SO careful. I don't mean to scare anyone but single parents are the ultimate catch for men who like children - if you get my meaning. They are out there trawling the net befriending single parents and use it as a cover for their obscene behaviour.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is a common occurrence and we need to keep ourselves and our children safe. Some predators go on these sites to try and fulfill the other persons fantasies and you are not necessarily getting the real person. I am not your headmistress, but PLEASE please please (I can not reiterate it enough) BE CAREFUL.
Sadsy what do you think?
It's not nice though, is it?!
I felt so tired the other day though - it felt like it had been two years since I last had a break!
My leg, I think, has eased off - shows it's stress. GP next week. He'll say I'm fine! I hope I can get some new rubber feet bit for the crutches though - I've managed not to have a panic attack so far, using them to get down to the house.
Hope you're ok..