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Hi shaz. I'm sorry your ex is putting you and son through the ordeal of court appearances. I was wondering if it was because the divorce papers were served on him. I don't know anything about court or anything, but he could change his plea at the last minute couldn't he? I really do hope so. That was great seeing your Dad again, and I'm delighted he gave you some money. Enjoy your day. Take care.
Hi shaz5
The one he is really punishing is himself....andf at least you got the papers signed and best of all, the pressure is off your son for seeing his dad etc. NOW you can really go ahead and enjoy your Christmas. I take my hat off to you, shaz, I really do 
morning all thanku for all your messages it is not easy to take your loved one to court but i have to make a stand that he cant do this to us and specially infront of our son who is the one that will and as that image in his mind . no he took us to crown court all the way hazeleyes , he still believes that i just fall over the dogs bed . but the thing being we didnt have a dog bed as such only a pillow for him . it wont be nice doing court but i will see this through now .
he as hit before once in the marriage and once before we were but you always think that you can or they will change . he as a temper and as punched doors and walls during . and i have asked the last time to go and get help but he would never saying he was sorry and never do it again then we would be lovely again and he do things . now i see what he was doing and how he was playing but he as the problem he cant talk about how he is feeling now me and he still had the choice to talk about the affair or how he was feeling and he had the choice not to hit me i didnt have a choice !!
the car had to have a new tyre ouch but best to be safe when we have got to go on the motorway sat . i didnt get much yest just a pair of leggings from my money that dad gave me taking the kids to the cinema today for a treat with the some of it . got to go to asda well brave asda to get a few things not much as we are not here .
thought i was going to have a lie in this morning but the dustbin men had other ideas and then my neighbour as gone away for xmas and she is having some work done and they came at 8 and started to drill and it is so loud well at least i got the ironing done i suppose . had to take my little one to the doc again last night for his chest . he is clear of a infection so that is good but gave him tablets . he has to have 4 in water in one go and he took them one set last nite and he alot better. i was really proud of him as to go this long with out having to take anything before xmas he is doing well other than his inhalers ..
its funny too that we have not heard from his mom in that she wanted to see the boys for xmas , she said that she would call to arrange aday but we have not heard .may be me doing the divorce on top of the case as made her angry with me but things had to be done so i can have closesure well hope you all have nice days
Hope your son is feeling better shaz. Don't worry about his mum either, it is her son that is in the wrong, whether she likes to admit that or not. Like you say, he had a choice, you didn't. Enjoy the cinema, that's a lovely treat for the boys. Don't envy your trip to Asda, it'll be trolley rage today. Have a good day.
Enjoy the cinema. I'm taking my daughter to Llandudno to meet up with her friend (who's watching a film with her little sister and Dad before Sherlock Holmes). It'll take an hour and a half on a bus.
Got a home delivery this evening. Not got fruit and veg on it though, as they're not too good at choosing decent stuff. That will mean a trip to Asda at some point.
It will be ashame if she doesn't get in touch shaz.
Hi Shaz, just think that through it all you are doing the right things...I hope your little one feels much better soon, it does sound like the tablets are working well though...
I also hope they have a great time at the Cinema...but don't envy you going to Asda...
The trouble is too with some of their Mothers, is that at the end of the day, they are still their little darlings...and they support them over anything and anyone else...Mine is like that too...so I don't have that much to say to her, but my daughter and her keep in close contact which is fine by me, as it's their relationship...
But I remember the first time a year ago when my H went off..she was on the phone straight away to me( because then HE wanted his second chance), so she did all she could to get us back together...This time now HE has OW, she didn't want to know ....just goes to show eh?
Yes, people can show in quite different colours can't they? Luckily my boys have a good relationship with their dad's parents, who live down near Birmingham, although they only visit them around three times a year theyu talk on the phone etc. I was always glad of the break when they went for a visit. Once, youngest heard his auntie criticising me to the grandparents and this upset him until I explained that I wasn't upset and didn't actually care about what they thought or said, and that the important thing was that we were happy together as a family 
morning all asda was really nice it wasnt too busy and you could walk around and there was no ques at the tills at all which was a bonus. i think most will either leave it till today/ friday or go on the evenings . got what i needed and that is it done .
we went to see puss in boots had to toss as i wanted hugo . little one wanted the chipmunks (but that had only 1 star) or puss in boots which is the one we went too see and it was good followed by a macdonalds so it was a lovely day . which was nice after another round of calls from the courts and the visit day is set for by son and i to go round which will be the week before the trial and my solic rang as my ex as got some xmas gifts that he wants to bring to the boys but it is his friend that will be bringing them tonite . i didnt have to allow this to happen but that does not look good for me infront of my boys nor infront of the courts so i said that this would be ok and it is his friend coming not him . he will miss out xmas day seeing their faces but ha ho he choose it so there you go. i have been told by the police to open them to see what is inside before teh boys have them just in case there is a letter . the things you have to do when it goes like this is not nice. just hope that my twat ex doesnt put her name on teh gifts or the card then my sons will throw the things back at him i know that as they have told me
not sure what im doing today was hoping for a lie in but not a chance as my neighbour is having her house rewired and drilling since 8 today again nice !!
I've hear Puss in Boots is good.
Are you able to put the gifts away so the boys don't see them before you check them? So incredibly difficult for you.
Your poor neighbour having their house rewired now!! Very noisy, but gawd, the dust...
Yes, good idea to check the parcels anyway......
i have calmed down now but while im writing i have now started to cry . the present were dropped off and there were 12 each but half have got to go back as i have already got them or they wont fit . he as brought them 2 free rider scooters and they are 10+ so my 7 year old it wont be any good . and he as brought them science things and magic things all need adult and things he thinks i cant do and in there were the cards and selection box off his mom so after sending my son a text saying that she is looking forward to seeing them this week and asking me to meet up it is not going to happen in the card she put some money. on my sons card that saw what he did she put to --- what can i say have a good xmas .
so now she has found out that he as done evidence but to do that to him as really upset him last nite he feels like he as even more been pushed away and i dont know were to turn for help. friends say ignore but it hurts as no one connected with him see that or what he as done im trying not to let it spoil xmas but god it is hard they are only kids and she cant even be bothered to see them at christmas then to top it she sends me a daughter in law card with it inside try to have a nice xmas and life is hard at times
the friend who dropped the gifts off told me that when the case is over with i had to be amicable with my ex and sit and talk to him over the kids i had to be nice to him !!!! he told me that my ex talks about her all the time like i want to know and taht they are going to get very drunk tonight looks like he really bothered about the kids when he coud see the little one he did ask me had i really seen pic of them having sex in the car and had i got the pics i said that had nothing to do with him and yes i had seen pics but had refused to have them as i was in enough tormoil and hurt and didnt need to see these on top . when i said thanku for warning my ex off fb as to what he was putting and thanks for warning her ex away form me he went into a panic and said that he hadnt done nothing i said thanku for the help there and he went very red so that gave it away that he had done that
well today it is tipping down so im off to clean the house and to pack ready for going away tomoz and try to cheer the kids up as they are down teh little one looks lost . had a nice time yest in sutton i got a lovely pair of boots and perfume with my dads money the boots wre £47 down to £23 nice :) and boss orange fell in love with marco jacob new one but its a lot lol £49 for a nice bottle so i will have to spray that each time i go into boots lol for now
well i hope you all have nice day and sorry for ranting again
Hi shaz5
Ok let's look at what is happening here... Your boys' grandma sends your boy a text (yes, I know she should not have done that) and when she speaks to you, you become angry, and I honestly think she has done the right thing by sending a card and money etc rather than meeting up, if she thinks there will be an argument. Sorry but I have to say it how I see it and this seems the best thing for the boys while everything is so volatile.
As for the boys' dad, whilst is is good to keep conflict away from the boys, and his friend is right in THAT respect, there has been violence, the man is awaiting trial for assaulting you, for heaven's sake...you do NOT "have to be nice to him" Yes in times to come you MAY have to cultivate a civilised way of speaking to each other when you are discussing things to do with the boys but my wholehearted recommendation is that if and when the boys do have contact with him, it should be through a third party, such as a contact centre, or through his mum, so you do not have to see him.
Try to look at the good things about this Christmas, Shaz: you have escaped from an abusive relationship, the law is taking its course against him, you have taken control of your life, you can let the boys have the prezzies that are suitable and don't worry about the rest.......you should be very proud of yourself!!!!!
Shaz, this is a brilliant place to rant, and get things off your chest.
xxx
morning all i have calmed down and just looking to set off soon , that im not looking forward to the travelling . hate motorway driving i have not done much of it and i get very nervey. we are packed and at 2 this morn silly but i loaded the car with the presents and put the washing on lol i just woke and that was it had a cuppa and fell back to sleep then.
post as been i have got to make appointment in the new year for my divorce and i have recieved the formal court papers for the trial for my son and i so that as been put to the back of my mind .i did have a good cry last nite as this being the first one and i felt alone and sadden but i have to carry on for the boys .
well i best be going try to make a early move before traffic gets busy have a lovely christmas all hope santa is good to you all xxx
yes louise you were right to have meet up with here if i am so angry still then that was not fair for the kids but it as hurt my son so much as he was looking forward to seeing her i know that she is not happy with me going to court and pushing it through crown ,but that was not my doing and for going ahead with the divorce on top of the case that would be a double whammy for him and then im not being fair and thinking of him as he as alot to deal with this is what they would be thinking im sure are well as to be doen no turning back now have a lovely christmas x
You take care shaz, and I hope you all have a lovely Christmas. xx
Thinking of you shaz, hope you get there all safe and sound, and that Christmas is good for you...xx
Have a lovely time and the best day that you can
morning all hope you all had a lovely time over christmas xx well i got back yesterday afternoon the journey back wasnt as good as going it was far more busy . going i was surprised as to how quite it was . well we had a lovely time over xmas with friends they went that extra mile to make it lovely. we had fish and chips on the christmas eve which was lovely the air pump blow up lol doing the air bed for the kids. mates mother in law came too so there was 7 of us and it was nice . my friend cooked a lovely dinner and even brought me afew extra gifts so i could open up on the day . the kids were good and they enjoyed it even though this was different to what they are used too.
my exs brother texted me christmas eve to go to his but it was too late as we were on the motorway heading away so i dropped off on the way back to collect the gifts which was really nice of him. i did tell him he shouldnt have but he wanted and they were lovely spent alot really and he put more thought into the gifts then the dad! the mother in law as been texting my son over xmas wanting to see them and speak to them . she had rang here 3 times . wish she wouldnt ask him to get me to ring her though as he gets upset with that .so i rang her last nite and she really wants to see the kids so im taking them todayto meet up in sutton at lunch for a coffee . want to meet up after so long in netrual grounds and where i will feel ok . what i cant get is why after 7 months of not speaking to wanting to see them and are they both wanting to get intouch now and trying. well see what happens today i shall play it calm and cool but if she mentions the case im off not going to be trapped .
first i have got to take a gift back that i brought my son doesnt work and it was a 3ds second hand one but nothing and it as been charged but it asking for a pin number which i didnt have so that is a trip out first . boxing my friends took the kids to a park and they had fun nice then as i stayed in and chatted to my mate and we had a real girly talk and it was nice , had a cry and got alot off chest things that i cant chat to the kids about as the night before i went away i was really emotionally and cried for hours asking myself again why my ex as done this and what is going to happen with the case depending thoughts were running like mad and the journey and christmas was i going to hold it together for the kids but it was ok nice what i needed. and the kids well they were happy little one cried again all the way home not wanting to come home then he wouldnt go to bed so slept with me and cried going to sleep asking for a new daddy which set me off . as my friends hubby had played and took them to the park this is what he wants so i just talked and cuddled himt o he fell asleep .
i also had the paperwork arrive on xmas eve to do with the courts and that wasnt nice but i knew they were going to come just made it more important i suppose well that is something for in feb not now .
Well done shaz5 for getting through Christmas and it sounds as if your friends went out of their way to make it a good one.
Hope the meet and coffee goes well: strong and calm, that's the way
There...you did it! well done...It certainly is a mixed emotions time isn't it? But let's see how much better we feel this time next year...
My daughter has gone with my H and OW to his Mother's for a few days, so I am meeting with another friend today...at least at the moment we have some sunshine here...
What're you up to today shaz?
Glad you enjoyed Christmas.
I hope today goes well shaz.
Hope you're ok Mich.
i went and we met up and not really alot we can say , i knew it was going to be hard but she could have made more effort in trying to talk and ask things . she did buy us lunch which was nice . she didnt ask what they had for xmas or how was xmas . see did ask what had we been doing said not much really she told us how she cant get around as much due to her heart but she as played on that for awhile cause the hospital signed her off last year telling her she was ok and that there was no need to come back unless things took a turn for the worse . she said that her xmas was spent being on her own and she felt terribly alone and how she wished that she could go back to more happier times which the kids didnt need to be told .
she went on to tell us about her party she had for her bday and that her 2 grandchildren went when my 2 were sitting opposite and how that was too much really for her to sort out . the only thing she did say about my ex was that she was not happy with what he had got her for xmas and that she wished she could turn back time and things could be different but wish she didnt say them infront of the kids .
she wants us to go each weekend but after 7 months that is too much and too fast and she wants us to go to her flat to she her not to meet up like we did which i would feel trapped just incase he turned up, she did say that she would tell him to keep away but the trust there as gone i did text on the nite to say thanku .
i asked how the kids felt after as they went quite and i popped into my friends and they saw that too they were quite and sad looking . the eldest said that he wished she had kissed them or even hugged them but nope he said that he wished she had made more of a effort so i said that it was hard for for her too after so long too which he said we are her grand kids too . how do i deal with things like this and when you cant get help they were ok when they got home and among things they know .
well off to see a panto today it is part of their xmas present and a extra treat as we have never been to one and for what we have gone through i thought it would be nice treat for us all .got to tidy up abit today .
i do feel abit down after yesterday thought as she would have been more caring towards the kids after she hadnt seen them for so long and that she wanted to see them so much fele like i wanted her to kiss them or hug them from that part of the family that is what they need now i want more than ever for my nightmare to go and that light is no where in sight yet .....
I know, there is more and more for you to deal with. There is not much you can say about their grandma, I expect she felt a bit awkward and not sure whether her hugs and kisses were welcome. Maybbe next time, when you leav you can say something general like "Kisses Goodbye" then that gives everyone the signal.
Enjoy the panto
Loads of hugs Shaz.
You did so well, and as you say it would have been hard for her too.
It was difficult for FiL and me for a while (both FiL and MiL were widowed, and married four years after The Git and I did). MiL was determined that we kept going each week, and gradually it did settle down to what it was. It was 'only' me who ever took the children there.
I hope you have really lovely time in the panto.
xx
Well done Shaz for getting through the Christmas, and a massive well done from me for meeting up with the ex's mum. That must have been hard for you, but once again, you did it for the boys. You're a great mum. Enjoy the panto xx
hi the panto was fab really enjoyed it and to see the kids laugh so much was the present they had no clue we were going till we left the house and never been to one they had no idea what it was going to be like . the eldest was crying with laughing looks like i shall be booking again next yr lol brian connelly and basil were great .
while we were there his mom had been trying to phone me she wants us to go to her flat now i have already told her that we done feel happy there too many memories and it is where he as took her and entertained her there at his moms birthday party , but she wants us to go . i will feel trapped there like he may show . she did make a point that he is going out of town for new year but my gut is not right with this . it is too much too soon for the kids . why she had to tell me about him il never know that upset me abit . i cant afford the petrol to get there or even the bus fare i have enough to go out for a drink to night with a friend who is about to leave her hubby and she wants to chat . im feeling torn as to what to do for the best dont want to harm teh boys in not going but i dont feel safe there and yet i have to tell her again and get her to understand . yes i agree that it may have been hard for her but as a gran she should have put the olive branch out more for the kids and not to tell them that at her party she had her gransons there that upset mine.
well i have to see as i have got to phone her in abit to let her know what we are doing i feel that till the new yr it is best to leave it but why do i feel torn ??
well got to go food shop soon and then i have a tower of ironing joys and the kids have to do homework nice
well i have rang her and said that i dont feel yet happy to go to the flat not saying that i will always feel this and it at the moment holds to many memories and she went ape said that i was stupid and that it was her home and that was that . i did say that im not saying we wont see her there just not yet nor am i saying that for now till everything is settled i think it is wise to meet up in netrual ground like we did wed . i told her that i didnt like that she told me about my ex going out of town that i felt that upsetting as that it is still raw and i dont want to know that he is out having fun . she said that she sadi it to give me the go ahead to go there . she ended it by saying that i was stupid and being silly and threw the phone down ....
how am i supposed to feel now like it is making it all my fault .......
Hello shaz you have tackled this in an entirely reasonable way. I would just draw a line underneath it at the moment. You are the one with the children and so in that sense you are the one who holds all the cards and so she will have to fit in with you. Don't feel guilty, you are not stopping her seeing the boys, you are saying let's meet on neutral ground, if she says no then SHE is the one who is stopping seeing the boys.
Glad you enjoyed the panto 
I'm glad you enjoyed the panto.
I so agree with Louise. xxx
my son texted his nan yest and he told her that he didnt ok with going to the flatbut did feel ok in meeting her in town , he told her that he was feeling confused with one min she wanted him then didnt now after so long wants too see him, she replied that being confused was just life and had to get on with it and that with the court case going on it as been made difficult with her in seeing them. now i feel that in putting that she was out of order and as made him more sad and he feels bad that the case is looming ,at the end of the day it is his dad even after all what as gone on il never stop him being his dad.
i had taken the phone off him but he wanted it yest to see if his friend had text and she had but in doing so nan had texted through after he sent her one . he wanted to get his point across as i had said that they dont seem to believe its me and in the text he saw it in his own eyes . in away im glad that he sees that as he can never say that i said , did , or stopped them . when they are older i dont want them to hold it against me .i have said that the phone as to go back to his dad as it was him who brought it and i will try to get him a cheap one i cant have his nan texting him again to tell me things . it dont better that i have told her this she will still do it , like i had said that the flat was a no go she still wants us there.
i agree with you louise for now i need to let things settle untill the court case is over as emotions will be running high . funny how she says that she doesnt agree with what he as done in the affair bit but then everything else him going the case the divorce is all my doing . yet the lies teh cheating that doesnt count for anything thats me too dont get it. i think till things are sorted and settled i need to keep contact may be to calls as then i cant feel that im to blame for it all . my ex was the son she always looked up too , for help advise etc her trouble is both her sons cant seem to talk they walk away from it rather then facing and sorting it or trying . but ah ho that is his fault and his way and he wil have to leave with this for ever when i can and the kids will move on . i know im likely to still have bad or down days but them seem to be far less now is this the norm? yet in my case i have still yet a long way to go till im there
last nite i meet up with a friend from where i used to work and we went out for drinks as she is having troubles with her hubby she came back to mine and we chatted away till three so im rather tired today so i be in bed before the new year starts lol off in abit to meet a friend for coffee with the kids someone from gingerbread so that be nice for abit .hope everyone is ok too and happy new year to you all lets hope this is a new start and a fresh new year will bring us luck and joy x
Happy New year, shaz
happy new year to you all xx i didnt stay up my little one fall asleep at 11 bless and i went to bed at 1130 didnt want to stay up . i feel that after my court case that is when it will be my new year so i will leave it till then to have drinks and have friends round .
hope everyone had a good new year and lets hope that this a new start and a new beginning for us all and it becomes a good year
Yes I understand that you feel your new year is yet to come, shaz....and then you will definitely feel like a party!
I don't blame you Shaz... xxx
sounds like a plan shaz - lets us know when it is and we can toast you online!
morning all just gotten off the phone to rounds of police again , cps etc there is to be not contact or meets up till after the case as though my son doesnt have the phone i go on and check it and there she as texted him that due to the case it is hard to deal with which yes i agree she feels trapped and toren but she shouldnt have texted her granson this as he is only 10.
the police were not happy that he is back at the gym and told me that he as been servely woren about approaching us and that he will break his bail and then he is is in trouble. the soilc rang her and that i need half the gifts have got to go back and then the 13 jan i go to sign and go to the court to swear in for my divorce . im sadden in away that this is over like this but then i have to look forward now.
yest we put the tree down then we got rid of afew more things from the loft and today im off to the tip in teh rain . my son as come down with a cold and not good there and i have the school counsellor coming today at 2 to see what he can do now as i need more help with him as since he saw his nan he as been upset and with drawn again
we will certainly toast on line xxx
Hi Shaz glad that Christmas at your friends went well, hopefully soon all this will be behind you and like you have suggested you can really start your new year off with a bang.
How did the meeting with the counsellor go?
Thinking of you loads.
the guy came and as agreed to go to the school once a fortnight to speak to the boys to see how they are doing. he is not a counsellor but works for the social so he is going to get in touch and get them some more as he agreed that they need help as they are too quite and im at my wits end with worry for them as they are not opening up . i have had the little one cry more now which im glad as he needs too but to see this and to see how they are hurts. i need them to feel ok so we can move on and forward. to be honest id like them to be able to go and see their father and feel ok but deep down i know that is not going to happen as they have expressed that so many times but i have never said that they cant see him which is unlike my own mom who stopped me seeing mine. i just dont want them when they are older to ever hold it against me like in away i do my own i hate it that hit seems to mirror my own life .
im hoping that im not slipping backwards as i ahve come away and i dont want to go backwards. i have gone again to asking why but that answer i will never find the answer too which is the hardest then i feel that i will never be happy again . i have alot of emotions going on and i will feel different after the case im hoping. the police did say to me that he is pushing his luck going back to the gym so now im worried that he will be there but i have to call the police if i do see him and he will have broken his bail terms then as he as pushed it too many times all ready . this is not the guy i knew and how they change is what i cant seem to get over but i suppose i will in time.
with my friend asking for help as her marriage is over as set me off and then yest i find out that my uncle is seriouslly ill and they are doing test as to why his lungs are filling up just when i need them to be right by me for the court and i know that is selfish but that is all the family i have and im hoping he is ok is has fought cancer twice just hoping xx
well back to work today and that as been a worry as my kids are not back till tomoz i have to run around to get help which late yest i got help . well best be going got apile of ironing to do its looking at me
Hello shaz 5
It's understandable that you are struggling. Don't expect too much of yourself. In your head you need to allocate a time frame for recovering from all that has happened and dealing with the resultant "fallout" It has only been seven months and you have had a lot more to deal with than many separating people. You will look back on this time and be unable to believe the strength and tenacity you displayed
I know that you want to support your friend and am not saying abandon her but the main thing is to look after you and your boys. Take that phone away from your son...give him it back with an other SIM card if you like, and contact the boys' grandma and say your son no longer has the phone and if she wants to contact them she can do it through you and you are quite happy to meet up on neutral territory as before.
We are here with you shaz..I've had a couple of bad days...but that is only natural, and as Louise says..it's still early days...I think you are doing really well...
thanku both for your messages i ahve taken the phone off him and i go on and look at it when he is not here and yes she as continued to text but he cant see it . i have said that i shall buy him a new phone. with this phone due to it all being in his name (ex) and even the pass word they say i cant change the sim number or phone number so it is best for me to get a new one and if he does go tto prison he cant have the phone then any how as how he going to pay for it . it dont matter as my son doesnt see his phone now i can only try again to tell his mom to contact me and not go through my son as i have already said 4 times to this
yes louise i do need to take time out after to really breathe again i do see that i do have more to deal with than most couples that have parted. i know once i know the out come of the case i may be able to get on the road to recovery in a better way than i am now only having one foot on there if you like .how i gotten to this stage i cant say how i did it but i did and have . i think for me i thought by now that it would be all over with with the emotions and that i would feel normal again by now but then i have the case which as a hold on me and i was expecting alot from myself .
went back to work yest and my class were lovely they hung off me lol i heard what they had for xmas iphones , blackberry laptops ipods etc what ever happend to lego , dolls jigsaws if you say these things they look at you as what ever miss lol it was nice to get back to routine again .
last night went to close the window in the kids room and the lock broke off in my hand so it is on vent and as to stay like that all night i have a friend who is going to look at it today to see if he can repair it trust me
xxx
morning all took the kids back to their counselling last night and she did a one on one with my son . he had to do a letter and she doesnt know what he put and it was up to him what he wanted to do with it, he did want me too read it and god it was from his heart and he clearly said that he was hurt , that his dad disgraced him and that calling me names had to stop and that while he was a live he never wanted to see him . he is yet sure if he wants to hand the letter over he sid he may do in court , then he will see for himself what his son feels.
well my class being good lasted for all of a day boy yest was hard going , the girls not getting on it was too much needed a choc when i got into the staff room ! the guy couldnt come to look at the window as we were at counselling so hopefully he will come today then with the winds a fence panel went flying by . i mangaed to get it back from my neighbours but i couldnt pop it back in so will try tonight after school .
off food shopping this morn all you see in the shops is diet stuff. the i have just looked at my emails and the gas / elec they want the meter readings nice just after xmas . just hope i havent gone to over and they want to put my monthly payments up well il see later when i call them hope everyone as a good day too
Hi shaz5
I think it will have done your son a lot of good being able to express his feelings like that, even though it is on paper rather than speaking it.
Have a good day today and hope you get the window sorted!
hiya shaz
try the freedom programme, you'll see your ex partner in a whole new light..x
hi well that is it the loft is finally cleared of ex's stuff . it as been hard going as it was just my son and i doing the mainly heavy bits . bless him he as helped out cried as it was heavy but we got there . so now cause i can get the loft and the walls doen as im on income support so with abit of luck it will keep the house warmer.
the kids have been to their swimming lesson and homework done so we can now enjoy the weekend even though i still approach weekends not good as it is when it hits me the most . i was not loking forward to the loft clearing today as it was the messy bit . didnt know that teh ex had put so much odd pieces of wood up there . all gone now either got ot go to the tip or get a small skip which is what im thinking of. my son as had soak in the bath as he is saw it is a shame that he as to do this at his age but i had no one to help me and as they are coming soon to do the loft. well the house as been cleaned too now washing coming out of my ears lol
my little one as got yet another party to go to later and another one at the end of the month so popular.
i had a good day yest i may have got myself another job as a cleaner at a school in the evenings at the boys senior school which is opposite their schools now and i have been in and asked about after school places there is none but they have sadi come in and speak when i know for sure. i have got to get a job that i can do 16hrs or more as what im on now i cant stay on so while i am still under the hospital i know that my hand is not going to get any better so i have to look for a job and i have heard about this so i have put myself for it . my elder son as not taken this well and last nite locked himself away and came out when i did his tea then hugged me and cried said that he didnt want to go to the after club nor me to clean . when i sat with him and said that i have no choice that our money will end and that i have to do this for us he seemed to be alittle better. then i told him that some of his friends were there and they would help him to settle in and it is only till july anyhow as when he goes to seniors he will be on his own then and only the little one will be there . he got upset that out tea times would be different and that things have got to change even more than they have already .
but i have no choice and they will have to get used to this as i have go to go for another job with more hours at some point even though my ex said i would not have to i would get more help by doing less hours how wrong was he !! i cant go in a shop as i have no one to have them at weekends or when they are on holiday so this is the best option for me things will get there some day . i will know about the job later this month she will keep me informed just waiting for someone to leave then there becomes a job open .
hi bea4 im not sure if i know this freedom programme how do i find out ?
Hi shaz5
It's not a hard and fast rule of thumb but what I often find is that 16 hours a week is the ideal if you have younger children, you need 16 to get the Working Tax Credit but working a lot more than 16 hours is often counter productive, unless you have a well-paid job. Cleaning jobs are ideal to fit in with the boys. I did cleaning work for a number of years: I cleaned a church and three private houses. The ladies were all teachers. Then once I was in a better paid job myself I had someone coming once a week to do various bits of jobs for ME, eg in the garden or ironing , and that helped her as well as her other job was only 15 hours a week.
Click here for the link to the Freedom programme, we have mentioned it before, but a while ago, it is a free online course for people coming out of abusive relationships
At least the paper's were signed. Words fail me that he's pleading not guilty. I'm so sorry this is still there for you.
I hope you enjoyed the shops.
I've been to get a new headlight bulb. I don't suppose £9.71 is too bad.