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hi hazeleyes to be truthful it was not too bad i think he cant hurt me any more in myself i think i knew that he had been lying about this affair in that it had not started only 6weeks before i found out think it had been going alot longer just that my ex can't be honest well that is his loss and he will have to face at some point what he has done! that i know for sure it will come back to hit him at some point.
my boys dont seem to be that bothered if they se him any more is this right for them or is it still raw for them? seeming we have alot to go through too still .beening 10 and 7 will they have to be forced to see him if they really dont want too . i do tell them that he does love them its me and the way we lived he fall out of love but they dont want to hear that either. it does become hard where kids are involved . my parents split when i was 4 and i used to see my dad till i was 10 then my mom would say things and it did drive us away and i stopped seeing my dad for 29 yrs now i have gotten back in touch with him but its hard as his wife now wont except me so i can only text , ring him when he is at work . that upsets me but i will have that then nothing. i also found out that it was mom who broke them up she had the affair and i know it was her that stopped seeing him when i was 10 . she rang him and sent him a letter telling him which hurt but that as healed so this is why im trying help the boys that they dont get like i was and having to track their dad down in years to come . what is best here for me to do ?
can anyone give me some advice here i have a friend who too as split up no kids but he has come into some money and also inherited a house from his dad which as been left to him and his sister now the question is as this as happened now and legellay he is still married is she intitled to half of this or nothing?
well i hope you al have a good day its looking blowy again today . off to the social today to see about my money hope it goes ok , i know i will get lost half way through when they are talking to me . it does feel nice to have had my hair done last night
Oh shaz, that's a lot going on there...Can you in a way your kids will understand tell them about your situation with your parents, and so maybe that will help them to see where you are coming from about their relationship with their Father? All i know is that if you let them decide and don't stop them seeing him, they can't ever say it was out of their control...
Also,I would say for your friend, that if he is still married then it is still part of the 'marital pot' and I would say she would be entitled to half of his half...( but I could be wrong on that)...
Hi shaz 5, i think I might have figured out why your messages come up twice! When you click post to submit a comment, do you double click it??
On another note, you ask about if it is normal that your boys don't seem too bothered about their dad.
Remember that all children want is peace! They want their home life to be smooth, they don't want to know about difficulties or worries of their parents. Children tend to live each day at a time, they don't care about the past or the future.
You have told them that their dad loves them, I would leave it at that. You don't need to drill it home to them. They will learn in good time what their dad feels. You don't want to be the one that is telling them, that treating their mum the way he did, behaving as he is, is an acceptable and loving way to behave.
None of that is love - it is selfishness.
I used to say to my daughter that I know that daddy loves you in his way, but I think that real love is about quality time and caring. I wanted her to know that what he was doing was damaging and not acceptable - in my eyes. However as she got older I told her that we are all different and have different ways of doing things and I don't know if I am right, but I try and stay true to my beliefs and I hope that she will do the same and never accept less than she feels she deserves.
hi anna yes i think i do double click lol one day i well understand computers lol i have been trying to delete pics of my ex well easy some would say click on then delete then go to the recycle bin and delete from there well if only they only pop back up again and again !! well its fun hitting the delete button on him :) :)
the social was not all that bad yest but then not all good they say i will have to find a 16 hr week job now but due to waiting to hear if i need a op and because i have the court case its too much at the mo so i have got to get a letter from the doc and then i go on this other benefict to everything is ok and settled then i will have to go for another job. i will try to have something in a school againa s i have no one who will look after the kids for me during the holis etc as i ahve no mom and even his mom wont have them as she as told us that she doesnt want to see us so im a little upset and worried over that as it means the kids will have to either go to a childminder or before or afterschool club not nice but may be after xmas i will have to look into that . so much for my ex saying that i will be able to stay the way i am and not go for another job !!
today im off for more physio last week the finger looked alot better least it was not drooping but this week it as gone again not good there but they will sort me out in the end seeing my friend tonite so that be nice and last night the lovely mr gok was on so after zumba i settled down to watch him yum with some choc not good after a zumba class to have choc lol have fun all x
Oh you love your zumba! 
I have to say that I totally agree with Anna's post above, re your boys.
Re work, try not to worry, your boys will be fine at an after school club, or at holiday care, I was sole breadwinner from when my boys were eight and three and they are absolutely A1, and growing/grown into lovely, balanced young men. 16 hours is either two days a week or four half days.....it is not fulltime. Anyway at the moment I am guessing they are putting you on Employment Support Allowance (that has replaced what used to be called Incapacity Benefit), and even when your hand gets better, if you are still going through court hassle, I would get your doctor to sign you off with stress for a while longer if possible.
And re your friend, if the divorce has not gone through then she may have a claim on the money, and needs to see her solicitor.
Hope you have a good day
Yes, how're things today shaz?
hi well physo was hard going yest more things to do they are saying that i really need to avoid a op as it will be more hassle for me its trying to get the nerves to work i will continue doing the exercies they give me and i have to go back next week to see how im doing looks like i will be there each week now .
today im off to book in the kids for their counselling and to see what they will do and go over hopefully it will start next week though its only going to run for 12 weeks hopefully if the boys need more they will help there . the eldest one wants to go and smash up some of his dads things in the shed things he as made his dad not good and he wont talk as to why he wants to do that . also i found out that he is liking doing his prefect job and so at break times does his jobs then but lunch times he is staying in again doing things inside which is unlike him he used to play with loads i have sat and talked to him but he says he is ok but quite . he as said to me he misses a male fig but he is not missing his dad its enough we have to deal with our own feelings but we have to take on board theirs too where that came form him wanting to smash his dads things up i dont know .
well i had a bad day at work kids fighting which added to the day that began with me cracking the filling again i have just had repaired so now looks like i will have to have a crown must call the densit up no point in leaving it i hate the densit .then from work i got caught in the rain so by the time i got home i was soaked so much for the weather being dry in the midlands !
least a friend from the ginger bread club as asked me out sat night with her to go for drinks so that be nice got a sitter sorted . youngest as yet come home with another party invite we are on 7 so far got one this sun and the next lol keeps him busy .
well hope everyone as a good day
Poor you with the dentist!
Your eldest has a lot of anger towards his dad and counselling will be a good place to express that.
Saturday night sounds fun, it's these things that keep us going!
Saturday does sound good, and I'm sure you'll have a great time.
I hope they can sort your tooth out, that must be so painful.
Eldest had counselling with the school which did help him. It was confidential, so I think it helped him knowing that niether me nor his Dad would know what was discussed.
morning to be honest my tooth is not causing me any pain at the min but it soon will be . rang the densit yest which is good for me as i would have put it off they said next tues for a look then last night i got a call to say that can i rebook they are going to do the crown ouch so half term i got to go on the mon ive been told i got to sit there for a hr they warn me as i really dont like going are well least i got something to look forward too lol
the counselling also will start in the half term week so im pleased for that . well last night was a bit of a shock my mother in law texted my son saying how long it had been since she last texted (aug) how she had been away and she hoped they had a good hols and that they were loved so my son texted back and said thought you didnt want to have anything to do with us as she had said that in aug via a text and are we really loved when you wont see us it was he (being my ex) was the one who lied and left ! she replied that it is due to the dispute between me and her and what i have done that as caused the awkwardness towards her seeing the boys and it was my fault . well i think that it is sick that she can sedn that to a 10 yr old and it was her own son that lied to us , he was the one who left to have the affair not me but that doesnt count in her book . my son was upset yest with it so i have told him he can keep the phone as his friends text him but i will look at look at any texts she sends again . deep down i knew she would go with her son its a mom thing but at the end of the day i never knew he was having affair nor did i know he was un happy it made me upset last night more for my son having to see that she blames me .
well my son came home with yet another trip and the other another party invite so popular is he . the trip i dont mind as it is to do with his topic next term 2nd world war . i have got my grandads army records i paid for them so that will be nice for him to show at school . well i got counselling today then shopping my boys seem to eat toilet roll have a good day all x
Hello shaz5
Oh so you have a toilet-roll monster living in your house as well do you? We have one of those 
I am really shocked that the boys' grandma would send a text like that to your son. Even if you HAD done anything wrong she has no call to be involving them with adult disputes.....of course she is going to believe her son. However, you would think she would want to be involved in a loving relationship with her grandsons on ANY terms. I have worked with so many grandparents over the years who are heartbroken at the loss of contact and yet on here we have had a number of incidents of grandparents not really wanting to be involved. If he continues to get upsetting texts, you could think about getting him a new SIM card.
Hope counselling goes Ok today, and have a good day
We go through loo rolls here too, even with squashing them before putting them on the loo roll holder.
Sad the grandmother felt the need to do that. I know there are times when my ex-FiL will defend his son, and then most of the time is rather disgusted with him. My ex-MiL though is a step-mother, which I feel is the main reason that I do have a good relationship with them. I'm sure things would have been totally different had his Mother been alive.
My lot get a lot of support from their grandparents though (my Mum and Dad are dead) which has been good for both sides.
Ouch for the dentist shaz. You poor thing. Hope the counselling goes ok today. Wrong thing for the Grandmother. The little lad is only 10. Shame on her. Hope he's ok. I would do as Louise suggests and get another sim card. Only 99p.
My in-laws don't have the mobile numbers of the children. The Git does, but not the in-laws... they've never asked for them. I'd still prefer they went through me though, so i know what's going on, and my lot are getting on a bit now...
Hi shaz 5, unfortunately my daughters grandmother was the same, she stuck up for her son and would hear no wrong.
I changed my daughters sim card after some ridiculous texts from her dad, they really upset her over a period of 6 months. I bit the bullet and changed her number, the effect was almost instant, she was suddenly free of worrying if he was going to ring and hang up or text her something stupid.
Something to consider perhaps?
How was counselling?
evening counselling was ok i ended up crying , but it was good to release it out .
just got in from shopping did good got afew more bits for xmas though the kids were with me looking the eldest one went and sat in the book aisle and said each week if i come shopping and sit here and read this book then i wont have to have the book for xmas bless the worst bit for me is to put it away .
looks like its going to be another nice weekend so i will do the lawn in between taking the kids here and there
morning all hope everyone is ok x well gingerbread club last nite was nice not many of us and we sat around chatting , one guy sat there giving advice to us as me and another women who both are new to being split , really what he was telling us is now we have to grow confidence before we can move on. which in away is right but then he went on to say that really once this as happened to us we will never really meet anybody else as we have been hurt and we have kids . well with that said i sank alittle as the thought of being on my own for the rest of my life hurts . some of the things he said was ok like he said that my ex was very insercure person within himself to have done what he as done and the fact that he as lived a double life and thought he could carry on that bit i knew anyway .
today i have recieved my letter from the social saying that i am on income support so i can now send that off to the solic and he can now be sent the divorce papers from the courts in away im happy so i can move on and in away sadden that 17yrs will end . but i cant carry on he as lied for how long ? the trust as gone and the love as too. apart of me will always love as we have the 2 boys but what hurts me the most is his mom blaming me but then i will never know what he as told them he as already lied to her that he needed the money for the bail when it was free . its time to move on and start afresh me and the boys and one day who knows i may just meet someone .
off out tonite for a drink got tonns of ironing to do when i get back from the boys swimming lessons plus they have loads of homework too like to get the lawn done again thought the last cut was going to be the last one well have fun what ever you are doing today
Hello shaz
Oh yes it is your night out tonight! have fun
That bloke was right about you needing to grow in confidemce BUT I totlaly disagree with him about you never meeting someone else. Yes, of course there are things to get past, such as being able to trust someone again...but I know loads of people who have met new partners after separations, and yes it was when their last partner was cheating, and yes they had children.
Great that the paperwork has come through so that the divorce can proceed, of course this is tinged with sadness but I always thought the thing I wanted to take away from my marriage was that a. we had a lot of happy times and b. my two lovely boys.
Hope you have a good day today
Have a lovely time tonight shaz. You're very good getting the lawn cut again.
Have a good time tonight shaz
morning hope everyone is well hopefully its going to be another nice day washing ready to hang out . went out last nite had a good nite we just chatted away, as we both attend gingerbread club we were talking about that guy had said the nite before and we both sadi how it had upset us it was nice to know that it was not just me who was upset . busy day yest even took the kids to the library after i did the lawn and today is busy too they are off to karate soon more ironing to do then do lunch and then son is off to swimming party later so it may be tonite when i put feet up ! downton abbey on so that is something to look forward too seems silly but may even watch down stairs as we always sat together and watch it curled up so since it as been back on ive watched upstairs but may sit down tonite .
my neighbour next too said something to me yest which upset me abit but im not going to act on it as what will it do wont change that my ex is a liar or a cheat just that it adds even more to him . she told me that she thinks the neighbour next to her who is on her own my ex had something going with her but you now what im not sure if he did both wouldnt tell me the truth and he did do jobs for her alot but its not going to change anything and why do people say to youi whne things have died down you may be able to talk and you nevr know we may get back together again !! a leopard never changes there spots as the saying goes . i couldnt trust him again and the type of job he does i would always be wondering yes i did think about having him back just because i know him and he is my comfy blanket and least i wouldnt be on my own but then i look at what he has done the lying the affair hitting me which he as done before and would no doubt do again and then the boys they wouldnt trust him again i know that so it may be bumpy but i got to look to the furture and who knows i may just meet someone
well best be going first of the runs to do today
You know what i said about the Gingerbread man, he is not correct about people not meeting a new partner!!!
As for the neighbour, what a horrid thing to say, please try and ignore her, doesn't she think you have enough on your plate without adding to it! 
You're right, you need to focus on you and the boys and moving forward to a secure future without the worry of violence and upset. You're doing a great job!
Hope you have a good day
Yep. As Louise says...
It doesn't really matter what the gossip it anymore though.
xxx
HAHAHA just realised I wrote "the gingerbread man" as if he was a biscuit!
morning all well another week here got my sons 7th birthday this wek and the eldest one going away wed till fri with the school so i got to get packing for that . also hospital again this week i got to let them know that the last lot of excierses they gave me have really made the hand sore over the weekend .
i have decided to ignore what my neighbour as said about my ex seeing another neighbour as what will it prove he wont tell me nor will she and at the min i still live in the road so i dont want to make anything worse for the boys they have been through enough . its not going to change anything he as still lied and cheated now .
well got to clean the house today and some calls to make and sort the clothes out ready to pack for my son weather doesnt look good today and a lot colder than yest.
Hi shaz5
Hope you have had a good day, and not been blown away!
What are you planning for your son's birthday?
Hi shaz5, phew! I feel quite exhausted reading your posts! You are a busy bee!
Gingerbread man IS lying, I was pretty cross reading about what he said, how dare he. Who was he anyway? A single parent or a 'professional' brought in from somewhere?
Glad you had a good night out with your friend. Sounds like you had a good ole natter and you were up early the next morning, so no sore head!
Good plan to ignore neighbour, it is one of those things that you will never know the truth of. Although I imagine now you have been told that when you see the woman, it might be a bit strange....do you usually talk with her?
morning all , anna the gut was a dad there it did get us but i know he is wrong ! my son is well happy as it is his birthday tomoz lol i got him a smurf cake coming today he really likes toy story so i have brought him loads to do with that . as my other son is going away with the school on that day tonite im doing a birthday tea so i wont be going to zumba spend it with them both and then i have sadi i will take birthday bot to eat out on the night he as picked pizza hut so that be nice and over the weekend i will take him out to spend his money . he will be in bed early tonite and up very early tomoz not so good
yes this neighbour can be funny if she doesnt want to speak but i will never get to the truth if i was to ask as she would say no and he well he will never tell me the truth now as he cant remember his own lies . best forget it now or im never going to move on and that is what i need to do .
last night i had a big cry i ahd 2 more letters off the ex and he as sent a birtdhay card to our son but the eldest one whos birthday it was in july got nothing still got them . he as not sent any money for him in the card . the card upset me as he asnt even brought a son card just a plain normal card . something as simple as son on a card and it as upset me . then as i got more letters i had to inform the police. even thouigh there is nothing they can do with them as he can send them they started to talk about the trail . it really does look like we are going to crown court as they were talking baout what they will provide for my son there to protect him and that hit me hard as it really is happening . asked what the sentence my ex may get and they said it cant be called now as it is crown court it may be more harder . this upsets me as he could have stopped it by saying yes i did it now i do feel sorry for him in away as he so sad that he can do this to us and himself but i suppose when you live in lies and yet he seems to be in denial too still he cant see what he as really done . before i know it it will be over for the 3 of us. by next fri half term week i should know the date its frightening how quick it as come but i know i had to do this as the next time i may have been dead .it is not easy to do this but i may help the next person if i can stay strong in doing this it may give hope to others as i say its not easy but he as done this 3x to me this being the worst he do it again no doubt as it is in him . someone posted a link to a book and i read that link and he made me think god thats my ex in ways so i ordered the book and now reading it so thanku .x
well i hope everyone is well and have a good day im off to the shops today i have forgotten afew things when i did the shopping so i got to get them today its cold but least its dry here for us
Good morning shaz5
Excitement in your house with the upcoming birthday 
But also apprehension with the Court date looming. It will be a difficult time and all you can keep doing is give yourself and your boys lots of TLC.
I understand your frustration with the lame card that your ex sent your son. Unfortunately there is little you can do about that. Or his decision to deny everything. I do hope that the Crown Court will come down hard on him, but don't get your hopes up too high that there will be much of a sentence.
You might be interested in a group on Facebook called Stop women being forced to give abusive fathers access to children, I know this is not quite what your Court date is for, but thought you might be interested. It was started by users of the Freedom Programme.
Good luck with the shopping today
Morning shaz5,
You have a great deal going on at the moment...I know how you feel about what that man said at gingerbread, but you are still young....you just need healing time before you have another relationship...I'm older, but I don't want to end up a lonely old woman either.
My daughter's Birthday is the 24th, so we both have close borthdays with our children...thinking of you.....
I hope you enjoy zumba.
I'm sure you'll have a brilliant day tomorrow - and happy birthday to your son.
(The Git doesn't do cards or presents for the children - neither birthdays or Christmas, but they don't expect one any more...)
Hi shaz5
Happy Birthday to your son!
I know it must feel scary with the court looming, please don't feel sorry for the boys' dad, he is a grown up and needs to face up to what he has done. It's you and the boys who need all the support. We will be here for you, all the way
morning all and thankyou for all the birthday messages . my little man is well happy and hyper !! he is stting in his wizard outfit and playing his £1 recorder lol i got him that as a little something but its driving us mad lol i have packed for the other son as he goes away at lunch time i cant go and wave him off as i will be at work but he will have fun . after school we are going for a pizza as a treat , last night we did his birthday cake as we were all together last night and i didnt go to zumba . my friend made his cake it was a smurfs one .
yes its hard with the court coming and i know that im doing the right thing but its hard and not knowing what will be the outcome as to whether he keeps his job ? in away he needs to so we keep the house but if not then i eitrher have to move or see if the social will help me alot to take on board yet but taking each day as it comes as he cant carry on telling me waht to do or hitting me anymore that is for sure
hope everyone is well and have a good day im off to physio after the school drop off again and its a cold start today
Hope today goes well.
xx
Happy Birthday to your son shaz. Hope he has a fantastic day. I'm sure your older one will have loads of fun on his school trip. Good luck with the physio. xx
Good luck at the Physio...and Happy Birthday to your lovely boy!
evening all my little one as had a lovely day , been to pizza hut and then toy shop to spend his money so he is well happy .
im not feeling too good sad in away that ex isnt here to share in this day . someone showed me his face book wall and i know i shouldnt have looked but i did and it got to me seeing him with new clothes out with her and her son and then him smoking which is the best he cant stand smoking . i knew i it would have upset me but in away its raw for me still but i got to stay strong for the boys .
physio well didnt go well they are not happy that there is still a lump and the finger is numb i couldnt do the excerises today with the cold it hurt too much they said the nerve as either been bruised or trapped when the bone as tried to heal itself but they are not happy as to why it is still sore there so they are not going to see me next week but have got to go the following week then the week after twice they did say it may be looking like a op now . which is not the best news i have had .something like this can be so much to heal so that as got me down tonite .
my other son got away ok and he will have fun hope everyone is well x
Hello shaz. Brilliant that your birthday boy has had such a great day. Sorry you've not had such a good day with the facebook stuff. I also would have looked at the facebook page, out of curiosity or for any other reason really, but the person who showed it shouldn't have, if you see what I mean. It is all so raw for you still, that they also should realise this, but maybe didn't think it would cause you so much upset. Plus of course, your little fellas first birthday without the ex being there has obviously caused you upset. Then to top it off, the visit to physio, and not good news there either. Your hand sounds very painful, so maybe the op is now called for.
I do hope you feel better tomorrow. Take care. xx
A hard day for you shaz...
So glad the children have had a good day though.
Loads of hugs.
morning all thanku for your replies yes emotions were running high with it being my little ones birthday , so now i have done the 2 of them on my own i know it will get better in time. get next week over then i find out when we go to court and then i can start to really get over it! yes she was wrong in away to show me but i was too in looking but like hazeleyes said you look to see but it hurt . its funny as apart of me still blames me for doing this , causing this but then i tell myself it was him who left him who went and had the affair because things between us was not that bad he was just bored . with me because i got a court case over me that doesnt help . my friend as told me taht she talks to dv people and that im strong for calling the police and for going through with it as it takes a hell of alot to do that . i know i did call the ploice more so cause of my son and what he saw but you have to put a top to it at some point he couldnt have carried on doing this to me .
well im off food shopping today not got to get much but i always do lol hope my eldest was warm last nite birthday boy snuggled in bed with me that was nice . have a good day all x
Hi shaz I am glad that your boy had a good birthday and your oldest got off on his trip.
One of the things that people in abusive relationships do is to blame themselves for the abuse, the break up.......anything (because that is what the abuser has made us believe) It sounds as if you have a foot in both camps: part of you still believes that, and yet your head knows this is not really the case. IT WAS NOT, AND IS NOT, YOUR FAULT.
Wrap up warm today, it is absolutely freeeeeeeeeezing 
hello all well we have now broke up and i can say that im ready for the break and the kids are too . my son came home from his trip he as had a good time and by the smell of the clothes i think he spent it in the lake lol trainers in the bin werent worth trying to clean them ! he is tired but glad to have him back .
well tomoz it be swimming lessons then off shopping i think trying to get afew more bits for xmas . i think im not doing too bad for being on my own doing the presents though i have cut back and the kids have been good and understand too.
sunday it be karate and ironing oh nice then again the little one as yet another party to go to this time at a farm i may sit down on the nite lol hopefully we will go to the park and swimming in the holidays wed i know we are going to cadburys world through gingerbread club so im looking forward to that as i have never been there . so looking forward to this week and the car as to be cleaned put it off now for weeks hope everyone is well
Hi shaz5
Yes you will be glad of half term, great that your son enjoyed his trip, I had to chuckle about his trainers going in the bin!
Cadburys World: my boys went there with their grandparents some years ago...you get to eat a lot of chocolate! 
Hope you will have a great weekend
Oh Shaz5,I'm so glad you're looking forward to next week....It's great to have something to look forward to and break the week up too isn't it? Your Gingerbread group seems really good...I don't have one in my area yet, but it might happen one day...( I filled an online survey in today for Gingerbread)
I'm glad your son had a great birthday too....
Hi shaz. Look forward to the hols, enjoy the time with the kids. Hope your weekend is good. Take care. xx
morning all well off to a birthday party at a farm later best wrap up its cold one this morning . well the eldest son had a good time time away but came back in a mood again and started to take it out on the little one yest , at first i but it down to being tired but we recieved a letetr yesterday from my ex's solic as in him wanting to see the kids and then my son broke down crying saying he not sure if he wants to see him. funny how he was arrested in june and it as took since now to fight for the kids looks nice though as he is going to court again this week . i suppose it makes him look good infront of the judge . im not saying he cant see them just let the dust settle and the case go through then we can sort something out . he as put that he wants the kids to be dropped off at his moms but after she sent a text to my son saying it was my fault i dont feel like i want them there really to the case is over and she as not seen them since june and to top the lot i have not got a solic in this as im being represented by the police i cant ask my divorce solic as she did say that she felt no contact should be had due to my son being a witness . its a mess and i feel like im going down again. im angry that he can go out and im trying to live. the last few nights i have had flash backs to that night went he hit me and i have woke up crying not nice but i see the bruises over and over again. for him to say he is not gulity then he really must be in denial and to believe that our son saw nothing then he as too. im feeling down again with this letter friends have said that they will see through him doing this so close to the court date .im scared that he will get the kids to live with him just when i thought i was doing ok he does something to knock me im not a bad person but why me . i hope he really gets what he deserves for this kids dont lie and my son saw what he saw and no one can say he didnt .
went to merry hill yest to try and do some xmas shopping came home with things but not much for xmas lol primark had a nightie £2.00 really nice one too so that is for my friend with some chocs our friends have invited us down to theirs over xmas and i want to and dont people say i cant be on my own this year .
got loads to do this week in jobs around here but whether i will get them all done is something else the cooker really needs to be done and the car . must tackle the ironing today while the kids are at karate and they have a load of homework too we will have fun things too we got pumkins yest so we have got to carve them out too may be tomoz after i have been to the denist for my crown to begin the fittings for that joys least i know that i have got to sit in the chair for a hr :((
my neighbour is not well since he came back off his holi he is back at the hospital tues so we are worried over that too he called me fri upset and i saw him yest too he had tears he thinks that this is it for him no more treatment but i have said that till the doc closes the book we will all fight with him so that as got to me too as he says to me i got to be with you at the court to see what your ex gets for putting you and your son through . bless he is lovely person but his cancer is getting to him . good people always get it worse or seem too
well i best be going rant over and i have gone on abit this morning emotions are running high have a good day all xx
A busy time for you shaz5, and I know you are feeling stressed and worried.
I really do think that you need to listen to what your divorce solicitor has told you, and not allow contact at the moment. It is upsetting for your eldest and also if he is only doing it to impress the court then why put the boys through it? I agree that if his mum has been nasty to you, which she was, then you also need to avoid her for the time being...at least until the case is done. Sorry if I have missed this but have you got a date?
You are having flashbacks now, and it would be good to talk to your counsellor about these....I don't know if this helps but as a counsellor myself I would say that it is an indication that your mind is trying to "sort things out"....in other words to bring REASON into a situation that was UNreasonable, and when someone has flashbacks it is because the brain is trying to figure out something that is outside its expectations. What happened to you is outside your normal expectations and your brain is trying to make sense of it, that's all. Has your counsellor given you a coping technique for if you have bad dreams and flashbacks? I mean to bring yourself back down to earth?
Hi shaz. Lots of things going on for you, and no wonder you're in a spin with it all. Personally I wouldn't allow contact until it has been to court, and see what happens there. Your son is obviously extremely concerned with it all too, and it's not fair on him. With regards to his Nan, after the text she sent him, I wouldn't want him near her either. Have you kept the text? Sorry to hear about your neighbour too. Am thinking of you. xx
Yes, that is sad about your dear neighbour, sorry I forgot to say that last time
Oooo shaz, I bet your hair looks fab, and doesn't it make you feel better inside when it's been done? Great that you've treated yourself. Good for you in how you handled things this morning, though it must have been hard hearing about what your ex is up too. I think you did the correct thing in telling this guy to delete his ex from everything. It must be making their break up really hard if he knows the ins and outs of what she is doing. Much kinder to himself if he does as you've advised, and deletes everything.